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7yr old left in charge of 3yr old

 
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7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/4/2008 11:16:06 PM   
manda59


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I had just given a ride home to a young man who my husband and I are helping; I was driving away when I saw a very small boy pushing a stroller with a toddler in it, crossing the road. I was shocked to see him doing this as he was quite small himself, but fully expected to see a parent somewhere nearby. (This is quite a rough area, so you often see a few things you might not normally see).

But there was no mother, no father, no older child, no teen. I stopped my car and called out to the boy "does mummy know you're taking the baby out?" (I thought maybe he'd sneaked out or something). The boy replied "oh he's not a baby, he's 3, and mummy said I could take him to the shop". I said "how old are you?" and he replied "7". I said "have you been to the shop then?", and he replied "yes"; I said "are you going home now?" and he said "yes". So I drove away (just a small distance) and watched. I heard the 7yr old say to the 3yr old "at least we've got our lemonade". (Note: the nearest shop was half a mile away, so he'd walked half a mile there and half a mile back)

I followed in my car from a distance, and made sure I saw the house where they went. I drove past it, to get the address, intending to call Social Services the next day; but then I heard the 7 yr old call out "Mummy we're back!" No-one came to the door. I parked my car across the way, far enough to be not immediately in view, but close enough to be able to see the children. They remained outside the house, no-one let them in. I heard the 7yr old say loudly "we've got our lemonade" and then saw him pour some out for the 3yr old. Ten minutes later, they were still on their own. I called the Police, told them what I'd witnessed, and they said they'd be on their way.
After another ten minutes, a man came out of the house, fetched a sweater from a car parked outside, and went back in, leaving the children shut outside. I called the Police again with an update.

I stayed there till the Police squad car came, and then I went home.

I called Police Enquiries just now in order to get the Incident Number, so that I could give it to Social Services in the morning. (Our Police and Social Services do share information, when it concerns a child, but it can take time for all the paperwork to be done). But when I called, they gave me not an Incident Number, but a Crime Number (I could tell by the length and format of the number). I was desperately sad for the children, but felt absolutely right to have "interfered" and called the Police.

That sweet little boy's face and voice has stayed with me, especially with the way he took care of his little brother. I could hear bravery mixed with fear, as he reassured him about the lemonade.
It broke my heart; he was clearly trying so hard to be a good boy.

I don't know whether I will find out what happened. I will call Social Services tomorrow with the Incident Number and see if they've already been told. They probably won't give much away, but they might drop a hint.

It's always the children who suffer the most.

(Btw, I don't know if it's the normal course of action to call the Police in cases like this, but Social Services here in the UK have told me before that if a child is at risk, it is the best thing to call the Police, as they can then mobilise Social Services far quicker than if just Social Services were called - if that makes sense)

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/4/2008 11:24:04 PM   
Jenny-Fair


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When I was a girl I had a friend that would come over to play every so often. Whenever we took her home, she would sit on the porch...the door was always locked and she didn't have a key, and she would have to wait until her parents let her in.

Later on we found out that her parents were running a child pornography ring. I wish my mom had called someone.

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 1:39:44 AM   
zippty_day


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Here in Mexico the boys in the kid's homes are let out on the street at age 11 to fend for themselves.

Recently, 2 different cases came into the children's home I'm working with. One family of 5 children ranging 10 years to newborn, too poor to take care of themselves that social services rescued them. Can you imagine a 10 year old with all that responsibility?

Second case, 4 children the oldest 5, a 2 year old, 1 year old and a 2 month old that I'm now taking care of. Left alone! Abandoned by their mother.

Lord Jesus what's happening to our precious children???

Many of the children are results of prostitution.

Something is wrong!
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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 1:52:02 AM   
peculiar_lady2


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that is so very sad Manda

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 2:44:35 AM   
Hislittleone


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That's terribly sad, Manda. I'm glad you were there and did something about it. It's so hard to hear about children being hurt this way. Let us know if you find out what happened to them.
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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 6:17:22 AM   
3cappuccinosmom


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I am crying. That is so, so sad.

I hope someone can help those kids.

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 6:32:23 AM   
BlessedMamaofmany


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of course you did the right thing. That is so sad.
What could happen to them? How does Social Services work in the UK?

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 9:45:03 AM   
Szaftoo


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Manda, bravo for stepping in and getting involved. You absolutely did the right thing and I hope these kids get the help they need.
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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 1:16:37 PM   
lexie


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I'm glad you did what you did Manda and thanks for sharing the story.

I'm not sure if this is the case with the children you saw but I know in Dh's home country that it is common for very young children to look after their siblings. My husbands oldest brother was 9 when he started caring for his siblings on a regular basis. He was the one to stay home if they were sick. They weren't the only ones who did it, it was commonplace.

But unfortunately, people then move to different countries and don't realize that the rules are different. That you can't have that happen and yet they still do it. It's very common in my neighbourhood as well and at the playgroup I take my daughter to, they often have to talk to the mothers about what the laws are around looking after your children. You'd be amazed at what people think is ok when it comes to leaving children alone.

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 1:23:25 PM   
manda59


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlessedMamaofmany
of course you did the right thing. That is so sad.
What could happen to them? How does Social Services work in the UK?



It very much depends on what the Police found when they arrived. It was just one officer on his own, no flashing lights, all done very calmly from what I could see. If he felt the children were in immediate danger, he would have called Social Services and had them removed to a foster home that night. If there was no immediate danger, then I imagine he'd have taken all details of everyone in the house, and arranged for Social Services to come round the next day, so that they could assess the situation, and offer support and follow-up.

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 1:27:21 PM   
artemis


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lexie

But unfortunately, people then move to different countries and don't realize that the rules are different. That you can't have that happen and yet they still do it. It's very common in my neighbourhood as well and at the playgroup I take my daughter to, they often have to talk to the mothers about what the laws are around looking after your children. You'd be amazed at what people think is ok when it comes to leaving children alone.


In Mexico, they have a flyer available at train stations and places where people would be who are planning on entering the US. It has information on how to get to and live in the US, including a section about how not to get caught or sent to jail once you get there I think one of the tips was not to leave your children alone. Another was not to play loud music late at night and not to beat your wife

Glad you were watching those kids, Manda, even if their parents weren't. When I tutored elementary school, a few of my students were latch-key kids. They were under 10 years old, but I don't think they were taking care of younger siblings (hopefully).

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 2:19:04 PM   
zmanfan38


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I'm so glad you called the police, Manda.

There are so many children who need somebody to step up and say "this is absolutely NOT okay!" for them.

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/5/2008 5:38:20 PM   
shadowspring


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quote:


(Btw, I don't know if it's the normal course of action to call the Police in cases like this, but Social Services here in the UK have told me before that if a child is at risk, it is the best thing to call the Police, as they can then mobilise Social Services far quicker than if just Social Services were called - if that makes sense)


In my experience in the states that is exactly the right thing to do- call the police if there is any hint of danger.

Certainly small children locked out of the house and unprotected from passers-by is more than a hint of danger. They could have been hit by a car, kidnapped, bullied, any number of dangerous situations were possible.

Calling social services will mean days or even weeks before a response here in the states. If you state it's an emergency then maybe they will make it out in only a few hours.

But call 911 and the police will be right on it! Also, as a parent who is not doing wrong, I would rather deal with the police than a social worker.

Police are trained to deal with evidence of a crime, not how healthy are the dynamics of your religion. If there was not evidence of a crime, they would not have taken action.

The fact that they took action means there was evidence of criminal activity, and those children are much safer today because you called the police.

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/7/2008 12:27:15 AM   
Mrs.X


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Any news Manda?

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/7/2008 5:38:49 AM   
manda59


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Sorry, no, haven't heard anything more. I phoned Social Services the next morning, and the Duty Social Worker said she'd check it out. No further news.

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/7/2008 4:58:31 PM   
clag4christ


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Oh Manda!

That is so very sad...I was practically in tears. What a sweet little boy and so very brave and responsible. You definitely did the right thing by calling and informing the police. I'll pray for both those sweet boys that they'll be given to someone who loves them, the Lord, and will do the right thing for them.

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RE: 7yr old left in charge of 3yr old - 8/7/2008 8:30:29 PM   
PatricksPeaches


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I too think you did the right thing. I just can't get over the fact that the children's parents didn't care. And also, how many people actually saw the same thing you saw and just drove on by and did nothing? You were an angel in disguise to those children!! God bless you!!

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