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College Ministry Help - 4/26/2008 12:17:46 AM
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NYCorBUST
Posts: 177
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline
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So I've been leading a College ministry for 3 years now, and it is really doing good now - I see some significant spiritual changes in these students and there is manifested spiritual growth in them.
I am a volunteer, meaning I am not a "pastor" nor am I on staff. - this should give some context. I am also 25 years old (roughly the same age of everyone else ranging from 18 - 27)
I don't necessarily have available leaders in the class, but I do have 2 guys I am currently working on - who too, are noticeably growing.
The class is engaged and more confident.
Well, I do a pulse survey every 6 months or so to get a "pulse" of the classes spiritual growth, relationship, what they need etc.
Well, now I have a problem - it appears that they feel the class is great, they are learning, and they love Jesus. The bad part is they feel the class has become "cliquey" (sp?)
One thing I have noticed is the teens who come over to the young adult/college ministry are not "connecting" and that bothers me. I know they feel out of place and I can tell. (I was once there but in a different church)
My problem is I really do not know what to do - I am not "that creative" so it is really hard for me to "figure out" what to do. I have been praying about it, but nothing is coming to mind.
I have done messages confronting this issue and no one has budged - most people who are disconnected, just don't want to try to connect.
I know I can't change hearts - but does anyone have any ideas?
Thank you
Grace and peace
_____________________________
ISAIAH 30:21
Your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever you turn to the right or to the left. "
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RE: College Ministry Help - 4/26/2008 1:28:40 AM
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stimulus
Posts: 183
Joined: 6/4/2005
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By way of introduction, I'm 27. I was an officer in a campus ministry as a college student. When I took a break partway through college, and again now that I've been out for a couple years, I've always helped lead my church's college ministry. Because I was in-and-out a little, and I'm a woman, I'm not the leader at the same level as you are. But my good friend is, and I've often been the other main teacher and one addressing problems like what you're describing. To give you our context, he's also 27, not on staff, but is a deacon\board member. We have a midweek service and two Sunday school classes. In the last four years, we've also went through three associate pastors who each had oversight of the group during their employment at the church, but the staff pastor's involvement varied and my friend has been the consistent glue. We average about 25 people at our mid-week service.
The two problems you've described - cliques and the younger teens not feeling connecting - have been two of our biggest, ongoing challenges in every "period" of the group's evolution.
As for cliques, we don't think there is anything wrong with people "clicking" with different groups of friends. It's normal for people to become friends with those who they are like. The biggest things we do to fight an unhealthy cliqueiness is to 1) have regular (monthly) activities everyone is invited to and 2) make sure that our leadership\volunteer team talks to lots of other people (not ourselves) at services and events. For us, the 2nd thing is probably even more important than the first. The other volunteers are the more spiritually mature group of people (generally speaking), and I prefer their company, but I make it a point to talk primarily with others at our events because I need to serve and mentor and encourage the younger members, not focus on myself.
Of course, that problem is related to the younger teens not feeling involved, and we face that too. It's a continual challenge for us, particularly between May and August every year. As high school students graduate, they often don't want to come up to our group, they don't feel like they belong, yada yada.
Making a concerted effort as a leadership team to break up and talk with everyone helps combat that. But we do a few others things as well. We plan an annual trip in earlier summer and invite high school grads from the youth group to come, free of charge. It's pretty low-cost: camping, canoeing, that kind of thing. We also make it a point to try and develop relationships with at least a few of the graduating seniors, by helping with the youth's end of school bash, chatting up the older kids in the church lobby, or whatever. We'll also send postcard invitations to all of the graduating seniors to come to a "food night" that we'll have soon in place of a regular service, hoping to get them connected.
In the end, what helps the most with making the younger students feel apart is getting one with influence first. If you develop a relationship with one student who can bring his friends, that'll go a long way towards helping. It doesn't even need to be a "cool" student. Two years ago, we had one student, an awkward, immature, nerdy guy graduate. A year later, his girlfriend and friends graduated, and they've all been attending our group together. They are a "clique" but the presence of that one 18-19 y/o clique made another group of friends feel more comfortable in the group, and hey, we may have cliques, but at least there are two young cliques, two older singles clique, and a married clique now! The variety makes it easier for new people to feel like they fit , and everyone is friendly, so it works alright.
That said, I don't have all the answers. We still struggle with these two same problems, week after week, year after year. But what I can tell you is that it is essential you find ways of addressing them. The average age of our group has gradually drifted upward, and it's because we have struggled to retain the younger students. My friend and I were talking about it again last night. But I hope what I've shared gives you some ideas, and I look forward to any suggestions others make!
_____________________________
Simple Stimuli - a Thought-Provoking Blog
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