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Discontent - 9/29/2008 8:55:58 PM
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seeking3132
Posts: 10
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline
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Dear Prayer Warriors,
I am in need of your prayers. I write this to you, whoever you are reading this, because I need your prayers. I love the Lord. I do. I hate feeling this way. I hate to say it, but feelings of unbelief. I try so hard to live the life I am called to: to pray, to seek first the Kingdom, to be a servant of Christ, to love other. Oh, how I fall short.
I always come back to this place. Discontentment. I made a move a year ago to a new city. And it has been a struggle ever since. My life before I moved here was a struggle too...just a different kind. In the year that I have been here, I have made no friends. No connections in church. I try. A little. I'm tired all the time. My job demands so much from me that I am usually spent at the end of the day. And weekends are not a luxury that I get to enjoy; I usually work then too. I work full time for the military. So saying no is not an option. And neither is quitting.
I feel like I should "suck it up" and know that there is a higher purpose than what I want. But God doesn't want me to be miserable all of my life, right? I try to be joyful and content in all situations. But being alone all the time wears on me. And I always end up here. So tired. Feeling like I have nothing to give. I just want to have a "normal" life with family and spouse and kids and friends. And joy.
Dear souls, I know there are others who share my pain. I don't want to give up. I want to press on to take hold of that which Christ died to give me. I pray for all of you who are experiencing the same.
Sorry for the long post. Just needed to vent to "someone".
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RE: Discontent - 9/30/2008 5:39:56 AM
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mvic
Posts: 1796
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline
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Hi,
Welcome to these Forums.
Please take courage. Life can be difficult for most of us. I pray that things will improve in your life and you'll look back on these days and you'll know that God was (is) with you. Even though you may not feel it right now.
May I suggest you join a Bible Study Group? You will meet others there and you'll be able to learn and share about God and what He has done for us.
May God bless you always.
_____________________________
Visit http://www.holyvisions.co.uk
My Book My Blog
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RE: Discontent - 9/30/2008 10:23:27 AM
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Liveloved
Posts: 2072
Status: offline
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quote:
I try so hard to live the life I am called to: to pray, to seek first the Kingdom, to be a servant of Christ, to love other. Oh, how I fall short.
Dear seeking,
I hear you and I do know the pain you are in. Probably many of us have been in your shoes. (now that would be painful---check your shoes  )
But this sentence I've quoted above seems to be the root of the problem for you. You are trying so hard. And you are trying so hard and failing. Know why? Because YOU can't live the Christian life no matter how hard you try. That's the whole point. We can try and try and try and try and we always come up failing. And only when we finally realize that the effort is the problem can we change.
So what do you do? Give up. Give up the trying. Give up the effort. Accept your inability to live the Christ life. Lay it down.
And then BELIEVE. Consider Jesus. Look to Jesus. What does He say? He says only when you die, give up the effort, will He be able to live out His life in you. And He will.
Believe Him. Trust Him. Love Him.
Get in the word and let the Word dwell richly in you. You are His workmanship not your own. His word accomplishes all in you and for you.
Fix your eyes on Jesus and He will meet the deepest needs of your heart. That's His promise and He is True. Bless you, LL
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RE: Discontent - 9/30/2008 12:06:49 PM
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restinginHim
Posts: 432
Status: offline
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In the name of Your Son Jesus, Father GOD, please take away Seeking3132 feelings of being alone.
I pray that Seeking3132 receive soulful rest and a joyful song of praise.
Thank You LORD for these blessings which You so freely give to us!
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
_____________________________
"As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love." John 15:9
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RE: Discontent - 9/30/2008 12:31:00 PM
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rofaith
Posts: 80
Joined: 1/17/2008
From: rofaith, a believer
Status: offline
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Dearest Seeking.... Wow, unbelief..... actually, it's something EVERYONE deals with. It's not just you... so much so that the Gospels point out a man's struggle with unbelief during the healing of his child by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The scriptures say, "Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"." Check out the emotion that this man displayed as he dealt with his own unbelief... not unlike yours as you seek to reconcile what you feel with what the Bible says.
I struggle with this a lot. So, I follow what Romans 1 and 2 talk about where all of creation testifies to God's presence, glory and creative power along with His love for me. All of it was created and displayed to remind me of God's presence in all of His creation, and of His presence in my heart when I first believed. So, to me, all of creation is literally screaming God's glory, His faithfulness, His interest in my life in all of it's gory detail despite my sinfulness, as well as my so called sinful secrets(which I have subsequently revealed to a trusted friend) and amazingly, my unbelief. I have doubt and questions everyday. They come from the mind God gave me in order for me to ask those questions and seek His face to find answers. Seeking His face amounts to reading my bible everyday, writing in a journal ALL of my feelings including my doubts and unbelief as well as what I have discovered about God and His love for me. It is also is about fervent prayer. Seeking God's face cannot be separated from this. I have learned that God longs to hear my voice. My voice and what I have to say as a broken person in a broken world is music to Him. Psalm 40 says, "I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along..." The fact that God would bend down and listen to me and hear what I have to say even in my unbelief and sin is still astonishing to me. God is ever so faithful and His love for you will never fail.
In the end, Seeking, it's a raw cold choice for those of us who struggle with doubt and unbelief. My journey has shown me that although these bouts with unbelief/doubt still occur in my life from time to time, they are not there because of my core beliefs, because I, and I know you do as well, love God with all of my heart. Instead, they are suggested into my mind and presence by the enemy who is desperate to compromise my position and yours as well. He is well aware of the mission that God has placed you into and will do anything to compromise your position so that you become ineffective. That mission of course, is to make a difference in those broken world filled with broken people. Amazingly, God has chosen the broken people who struggle of this world to do this, not the strong. "By grace have you been saved, not by works, lest anyone should boast".
So, back to that raw cold choice.... I have actually found myself deciding to be my own observer during my moments of doubt and unbelief... it is at that moment that I separate myself from my own wisdom and knowledge as well as what I feel, and say to myself, "I don't care what I think or feel or see, I chose to believe". It's seems simple, but God honors this... because I am walking by faith instead of walking according to what I can see, think or feel. This coupled with memorizing scripture and my faith has grown to the point, where although I am mindful of my doubts and how to deal with them, paradoxically, I am astonished that anyone would choose to not believe given that at the very least, His entire creation is screaming at people of His love, care, glory, power and compassion.
So, just do it.... I know it seems too simple, but do it.... in the end, as always, Hebrews 11:1 is the truth.... "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
Believing, it's a choice, not a feeling or a philosophy, it's a choice.... and God is faithful, faithful and more faithful while you declare your faith in this way. Regardless of how you respond though, God loves you and believes in you and will never fail....rofaith
_____________________________
There is no other name....
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RE: Discontent - 9/30/2008 12:35:21 PM
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sparkleingsnow
Posts: 3845
Joined: 1/9/2007
Status: online
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seeking, (((Hugs))).
I agree with Liveloved. I see you trying, but getting discouraged. We can't do it ourselfs. None of us can. We need to let the Lord work within us. Let Him help us to be all that He would have us to be. (Thats an ongoing process all of our lifes.) When we try to do it in our own power, we always fall short. Stay in His word, let it transform your heart, and move forward in His power.
Philippians 4 :13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Like mvic, I think a Bible study would be great for you. Where you can grow in His word, and make christian friends who can encourage you. We're glad your here seeking.
Father, I just lift up seeking to You. Father, you know her heart and how she desires to serve You. Encourage her Father. Bring her christian friends to uplift her. Help her to grow in You and Your love. Meet her every need and bless her Father. In Jesus name. Amen
_____________________________
Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is
within me, bless his holy name.
Psalm 103:1
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RE: Discontent - 9/30/2008 9:41:01 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 910
Joined: 2/13/2008
From: the poconos
Status: offline
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I will pray for you seeking, and hopefully this verse will help you in your time of distress. It is from psalm 94, and it is about doubts, and the amazing love of God
17 Unless the Lord had helped me,
I would soon have settled in the silence of the grave.
18 I cried out, “I am slipping!”
but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me.
19 When doubts filled my mind,
your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.
pray this psalm seeking, let Him know how you feel, and rest assured that He holds you in the palm of His mighty right hand.
10 Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
(Isaiah 41:10 NKJV)
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
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RE: Discontent - 10/2/2008 8:46:22 PM
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seeking3132
Posts: 10
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline
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God bless you all. This is my first visit back to the website since I wrote the other night, and was amazed to see what all of you wrote. I felt a little better the next day, and I thought it was just because I had "vented". I now see it was the power of all of your prayers. And I thank each of you for that. It is good to know that especially in this day, we are not alone. Even if our circumstances have us a little more removed from human contact, God is using technology for His purpose and I have found His love in "cyberspace". It has placed a concern in my heart, that perhaps I too, should minister to souls on this site who are "seeking" :-) His love from someone, anyone out there....
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RE: Discontent - 10/3/2008 12:02:34 AM
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Liveloved
Posts: 2072
Status: offline
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quote:
God bless you all. This is my first visit back to the website since I wrote the other night, and was amazed to see what all of you wrote. I felt a little better the next day, and I thought it was just because I had "vented". I now see it was the power of all of your prayers. And I thank each of you for that. It is good to know that especially in this day, we are not alone. Even if our circumstances have us a little more removed from human contact, God is using technology for His purpose and I have found His love in "cyberspace". It has placed a concern in my heart, that perhaps I too, should minister to souls on this site who are "seeking" :-) His love from someone, anyone out there....
Good to hear from you and that you felt His touch. Bless ya, dear one. And yes, you've been blessed to be a blessing. So hang around and let this cyberworld be a place where you give and receive His love.  LL
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RE: Discontent - 10/3/2008 11:20:10 AM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 910
Joined: 2/13/2008
From: the poconos
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Apeleutheros
I am new here. Lately I've been struggling alot with myself and feeling like a failure. I've been having this constant sinking feeling inside. Just by reading this thread I was encouraged. lol, God bless you guys.
Also may the Lord bless you seeker and draw near to you. May you come to the place of fully yielding your life over into His ever capable hands and trusting in His all sufficient grace. In Jesus name. Amen
Welcome Apeleutheros  , it is good to have you hear.
Failure, a bug I have been bitten by much too often. At church last night, part of my Pastors message was to stop trying to be perfect. We don't have to be. We just have to be ourselves. Realize who you are in Christ, and let Him change you. He my friend is the only perfect one, the rest of us fall short, way short. Failure for us is a normal happening, for Him it is impossible. We may fall, backslide, turn away at times, and fail in our own eyes, but He is right there with us to see us through.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
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RE: Discontent - 10/4/2008 9:47:44 PM
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seeking3132
Posts: 10
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline
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You know I have had an "on again, off again" relationship with God since I was saved at 17 (I am now 33). Most of those years were "off again" and I would spend YEARS away from HIM. So far that I fear He would never take me back. I am so happy that my relationship with Him has grown over the past year. One thing I have learned. I will mess up. I will have bad days. I will have times when I fail and I go back to acting the way I did before. But now, I don't wait to go back to Him. It used to be years that I would stay away. Then months. Now weeks or day. I've learned that it is OK. Don't listen to Satan telling you "Well, you messed up. All your progress is undone." And even when I don FEEL like it, I do a little something. A short prayer. Read a verse. And God with MULTIPLY your effort by a million!
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