|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
|
[Poll]
|
Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them?
|
| Ignore them when they are around |
|
| Try to reason with them |
|
| Lose your temper and yell at them |
|
| Avoid them at all costs |
|
| Be polite to them (to the best of your ability) |
|
Total Votes : 31
|
(last vote on : 6/22/2008 8:32:06 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 1:27:05 AM
|
|
|
worthaboverubies
Posts: 89
Joined: 8/11/2006
Status: offline
|
Yes I know 2 people like that and they are not in my life right now because I just could not take it anymore.
With them out of the picture life is so much smoother. Count yourself blessed that you don't have to deal with them everyday.
You could stay for an hour then leave.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 2:27:15 AM
|
|
|
michie04
Posts: 13
Joined: 6/16/2008
Status: offline
|
Well, I voted the last one. That is what I used to do, but may change that to the first one...ignore them. You may have read my thread about "inlaws driving us crazy". Well, my two sisters-in-law are the drama queens on my husbands side.
His brother's wife has been a trouble maker from the gitgo and his sister throws temper tantrums and gets this insane look in her eye. She is the baby of the family and 10 years younger than her brothers so was spoiled rotten. She's now in her forties believe it or not. Not long ago, she got mad at her father and hit him in the head and tried to kick him in the groin. How's that for drama?
The other woman never had children, but she was always quick to run and tell me what my MIL bought the other grandchildren for Christmas, etc. knowing full well that our children didn't get anything near as nice.
She loves to point out to all the relatives that my husband and I never did enough for the parents. I guess they agreed because they never spoke up on our behalf.
It's amazing how these people act and yet my husband has always been the "forgotten child". His sister even told me once that she knew their dad didn't like him (my DH), but she didn't know why. I never ever told him that, of course. But wasn't it nice of her to tell me?
And how can DH's dad think so much of her when she is so mean to him? Doesn't make sense.
All that said, I agree with the poster above. Just show up long enough to pay your respects to your parents and be gracious to everyone, if they don't want to behave properly then leave. If you are expecting trouble, only plan to stay a short time.
If your relatives are like ours, they just want you there for an audience anyway. Ours likes to let us know how close they all are and that we're the outsiders.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 3:23:00 AM
|
|
|
soundDRwife
Posts: 36
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline
|
I have a few Divas and Drama Queens in My family. I think lots of families do. I try to always be polite but sometimes no matter what you just can't win.So I polite and say Hello when I around and then I try to move on some where else as fast as I can.
_____________________________
Your Life Is In The Hands Of My Lord!
For JESUS is Always Near,When You Need,HE CARES!!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 9:43:37 AM
|
|
|
shadowspring
Posts: 1612
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline
|
quote:
The last time I talked to my aunt at a family party, she was looking at the Dean's Merit award that I had won in college (that my parents had on the wall) and she commented: "Well, maybe you did good in college--but not so good in high school". (I graduated with honors in high school so I don't know why she said that.) Her daughter-in-law sat like a queen on the throne making others get her glass after glass of wine. My sister kept rolling her eyes at everything I said (like I was a moron). My mother was steaming cuz she didn't want the party at her house, but (of coarse) never told anyone that--we were suppose to guess.
Oh, they're family! Trickier, but here are some more tips that work for me:
Agree with them, even if they are wrong. That really confuses them! "Yeah, high school was tough." That would end the conversation. Then excuse yourself and move on.
Just don't let them provoke you to anger. They and their opinions are not worth losing your peace over.
Another tip: imagine an invisible force-field around you. In your mind, "watch" their hateful comments hit your invisible shield and explode harmlessly, never touching your heart. This is actually very helpful to me. 
Keep in mind that these people don't need you personally, they need an audience. Be as impersonally detached as you possibly can be.
They want drama and attention. You have to find the balance if you can. Give them absolutely NO attention, and they'll make the drama about you. Give them too much feedback, and you'll never get away. Try to be like a butterfly, flitting here and there and then harmlessly flying away.
I would recommend a set escape time which you announce upon arrival: "I have to leave at 6:00 because I have a friend who really needs me, and I promised I'd hang out with them tonight."
Don't tell them that your friend is yourself  and when you leave, do something special just for you. Include a time of heartfelt worship to the Lord for delivering you from self-pity and self-absorption.
Because way worse than spending a couple of hours with these people would be BEING one of these people! Ack! Lord save us all! 
< Message edited by shadowspring -- 6/17/2008 9:51:40 AM >
_____________________________
"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 10:51:28 AM
|
|
|
sunshine4God
Posts: 6373
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: online
|
Well,I'm not sure since I tend to be a drama queen myself if things don't go my way,or I am upset about stuff.I take after my Dad in that way.
My mom just ignores me and waits till I'm done venting about things. My Dad gets really mad at me,but he is the same way.You know,when two people are so much alike,they bump heads alot. I have gotten a bit better as i've gotten older though.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
Its me chilling out!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 11:58:30 AM
|
|
|
1mlasp
Posts: 239
Joined: 12/9/2005
Status: offline
|
I would just have fun with them:
quote:
The last time I talked to my aunt at a family party, she was looking at the Dean's Merit award that I had won in college (that my parents had on the wall) and she commented: "Well, maybe you did good in college--but not so good in high school". (I graduated with honors in high school so I don't know why she said that.) Yeah, I only graduated with honors in high school, but got the Dean's award in college. Guess I'm just a late bloomer!
quote:
Her daughter-in-law sat like a queen on the throne making others get her glass after glass of wine. Sure, I'll get you another glass.....and you can snag me some of those crab pastries while I'm doing that.
quote:
My sister kept rolling her eyes at everything I said (like I was a moron). It's really cute when you do that. You must be a hit at parties...oh wait!
quote:
My mother was steaming cuz she didn't want the party at her house, but (of coarse) never told anyone that--we were suppose to guess. No clever comebacks - I can sympathize with your mother with having this particular crowd over. I would just offer to help clean up and encourage her to communicate better next time.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 1:37:07 PM
|
|
|
staychill
Posts: 22
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline
|
wow, are u related to me? haha, my family get togethers are wars. even christmas and easter. but maybe you could try to go see them early and that way u could avoid it all.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 5:26:38 PM
|
|
|
daisies4u
Posts: 214
Joined: 10/16/2006
Status: offline
|
Ever heard the term - grin and bear it? Don't "feed" the drama. Just smile and say, "oh really" or "how about that" several times. Drama queens love it when you give them fuel to go on. Don't do it.
Plus, it is just one day and a very important one for your parents.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 5:48:22 PM
|
|
|
Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 559
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
quote:
ORIGINAL: 1mlasp
You must be a hit at parties...oh wait!
This spewed rootbeer all over my monitor, 1mlasp!
Being polite can be a shield, as some have already alluded to. Be giving, expect nothing in return. Leave as soon as you politely can (it will give them more time to talk about you).
So who cares if they do talk about you? You have a life, and it's a healthy one in Christ. You can't cure ugly people who enjoy their sin; only God can get through to them. So pray for them, pity them, and go do something important like talk to your kid. And rejoice that God is teaching you to fervently love the brethren and is healing your life. Your family won't admit it but they notice it. They might even envy you.
That is so true. I do need to pray for them more. I should feel sorry for them that they don't have the love of the Lord in their lives. I would feel so empty with out that! Maybe that's the root of their bitterness.
Daises4u,
I do generally ignore it and I try to stay "netural". It's just hard cuz they will try to bait you for no reason. But, it's true--when you say things like: "wow" and "interesting" a lot, it's easier to deal with the divas/drama queens. I'll try to keep that in the front of my mind at the party and not get dragged into any debates.
...as for the party being important. My mom called the other day and said "Why is your sister dragging me into this party?! It's gonna be a lot of work...I'm not in the mood for it! I suppose they'll want to have it at my house...*big sigh* ...you know I'LL have to do most of the clean up!" The only thing I could do was shake my head and think "at least she's consistent".  (lol)
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 9:50:24 PM
|
|
|
lindakaye
Posts: 28
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline
|
Just ignore their behaviour, but the key is to cheerfully lovingly and with great kindness, ignore their behaviour. Here are some good words to do that with. Hmmm, Oh? Oh! or the old standby Ooooh. And then there is Well imagine that, Really? Reaaaaally? and then back to Hmmm and so on. Think of it as a challenge, you will be pleasant and you will not get mad. You can do this and Jesus will be right beside you.
Just remember that when you go home you will know you did your best and have a clear consience. As long as you understand that its all about them and will always be about them you'll do fine.
God bless.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/17/2008 10:18:53 PM
|
|
|
bzirk
Posts: 3074
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Where the deer and antelope play
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: lindakaye
As long as you understand that its all about them and will always be about them you'll do fine.
God bless.
This is key. My mother used to not be a diva and drama queen, so I've kept hoping she would snap out of it. It's taken me years to let go of this ideal. Once I realized that she was going to remain this way, and there was not a lot I could do other than pray (which is actually significant), it didn't frustrate me as much. If she changes, it is between her and the Lord.
_____________________________
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/18/2008 4:37:46 AM
|
|
|
Liveloved
Posts: 1615
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline
|
I read no other posts than the OP but here goes:
Jesus died for them. Let Him live His life through you. That means love them. Read I Cor 13 over and over and over again before you're with them. It's not easy but it is right. Bless you!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/18/2008 10:12:12 AM
|
|
|
Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3509
Joined: 6/8/2005
From: a mother who let me live
Status: offline
|
Oh Chrystal! I do NOT envy you, Honey!!
I only know one person at this time who might be classified as a drama queen/diva, but she is no big deal and I rarely see her.
Funny, though when daisies4u wrote: quote:
Don't "feed" the drama. I could just see you doing a photo and holding a sign above the Chosen One, like those in the zoo, which says "Don't feed the drama queen".
< Message edited by Covaan_Meshuga -- 6/18/2008 10:18:27 AM >
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Divas and Drama Queens--how do you deal with them? - 6/18/2008 11:38:18 AM
|
|
|
bzirk
Posts: 3074
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Where the deer and antelope play
Status: offline
|
Makes sense to me. Now I just hope people don't think I'm crazy 'cause of my name. LOL!
Okay, back to topic.
One of the problems I've had over the last 15-20 years is that alcohol has played a role in the diva and drama queen manifesting in my mother. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, it's been tough. But the Lord is good, and thankfully, He is able to give me peace where it logically should not exist. I've had to acknowledge Philippians 4:6-9 on many occaisions and the Lord has been faithful to give me that peace I can't explain.
_____________________________
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
