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Does he say anthing or not? - 9/12/2008 4:46:49 AM
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Tomok
Posts: 12
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An acquaintance of mine has a good friend who's a pastor. Both him and his wife are friends of my acquaintance and his wife.
At a recent prayer meeting he was attending, they had to split to pray for one another and he was paired off with the pastor's (my friend) wife. She asked him to pray for their marriage as she felt they were drifting apart. No apparent reasons for this, apart from being busy in the church and 'church-related' items, means that she doesn't feel her marriage is at the moment on the right track. She feels neglected.
My acquaintance has huge respect for this couple and the work they are doing, but would not want them to split up - far from it - it would kill any ministry they had.
Should he therefore, in love, speak to his pastor friend.
He feels he should but are there dangers here he ought to be aware of before he says anything?
Thoughhts?????
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/12/2008 7:43:28 AM
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rcjames
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If someone asks me to pray for a certain matter; then I pray for that matter and do not try to intervene in the matter.
Personally if I ask someone to pray for something and they talked about that prayer request to anyone; it would be offensive to me.
Thsnks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/12/2008 8:08:41 AM
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PastorPatricia
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I'm with RCJames on this one, when someone asks for prayer it is a trust that should not be broken. They have trusted you with something very personal and would feel betrayed if you use it even with good intentions.
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/12/2008 11:02:13 AM
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Tomok
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The problem my friend has is that he is a good friend of the pastor's and importantly of the wife also. As the wife of the pastor has asked him to pray for her marriage, he almost feels compelled to say something, else his friend in later weeks may ask why he didn't say anything before should the marriage fails.(Which God-willing it won't!)
It's a dilema for him - he's torn between confidentiality and friendship.
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/12/2008 12:09:05 PM
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BjoyMN
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From: Minnesota
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Hi Tomak-
Since your friend is "good friends" with the pastor, I would suggest he straight out ask the pastor about his marriage. He does not have to make reference to the prayer with the wife...his friend's marriage should be of concern anyway shouldn't it? Hopefully, the pastor will be honest with your friend and then they can pray together. Men holding their male friends accountable - asking each other about their marriages, and following up by praying together...isn't this what The Lord wants? He could simply say "let's pray for our wifes and our marriages"..... if he is married also, that way it will not be focused on the pastor's marriage.
Unless the wife specifically told your friend "do not say anything to my husband", I see her request for prayer is a cry for help. I could be wrong, but I'm guessing she knows her husband's good friend will talk to her husband now that she has opened the door with her honesty.
God bless you for trying to help those involved.
_____________________________
Proverbs 3:5-6 (LIV) "Trust in The Lord with all your heart. Acknowledge Him with everything you do and He will guide your path."
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/13/2008 10:21:23 AM
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Szaftoo
Posts: 813
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From: So. Calif.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BjoyMN
Unless the wife specifically told your friend "do not say anything to my husband", I see her request for prayer is a cry for help. I could be wrong, but I'm guessing she knows her husband's good friend will talk to her husband now that she has opened the door with her honesty.
I agree, that is often how some people ask for help. You and your friend should pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide and direct you.
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/13/2008 10:23:48 AM
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jn1010lf
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Hello Tomok
I would want to know if this pastor's wife has discussed how she feels with him. He many not have a clue. It could ruin everything if someone approached him offering sympathy and advice of any kind.
If this man would not hear his wife's concern, perhaps he should take a long look at the degree of genuine love in his heart.
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/16/2008 11:49:58 AM
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Tomok
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jn1010lf
Hello Tomok
I would want to know if this pastor's wife has discussed how she feels with him. He many not have a clue. It could ruin everything if someone approached him offering sympathy and advice of any kind.
If this man would not hear his wife's concern, perhaps he should take a long look at the degree of genuine love in his heart.
quote:
I would want to know if this pastor's wife has discussed how she feels with him. He many not have a clue. It could ruin everything if someone approached him offering sympathy and advice of any kind
Sorry first of all for not replying earlier, but I needed to find out more info.
Apparently the pastor has no idea of this situation but it has been building up for some while. The pastor's wife feels she's coming 3rd best - 1st is the church...2nd is the pastor's children through his first marriage and then her (if she's lucky). Neglect would be a good word to use here.
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/16/2008 4:18:39 PM
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laura...
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From: NE Ohio
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Okay, this friend of yours should not break confidentiality. He should not talk to his friend about his wife's prayer request. He should not have spoken to you about her prayer request. What part of "confidential" does he not comprehend? He should not be giving you any information about their marriage...that's called "gossip".
What should he do? What he was asked to do...pray. Beyond that he can counsel her to speak to her husband and to seek marriage counseling.
What should you do? Refuse to listen to any further gossip and don't ask this particular friend to pray for any matters that you wish to keep confidential.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/16/2008 4:50:47 PM
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buckifn
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First of all a man should not be paired off for a woman other than his wife for private prayer/sharing time to begin with.
Secondly, a prayer request given in private is just that...PRIVATE.
To discuss it with someone other than the person who gave the request is a betrayal of confidence.
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/16/2008 5:34:33 PM
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GodsMusic
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I think this man should have spoken with the Pastor himself rather than the OP. But since he has already spoken to the OP about the "prayer request", then by all means go to the Paster. It's no longer a secret.
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/16/2008 7:29:57 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 6019
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I agree that any prayer request that is made is private (unless it is made publicly), and sharing it with others is betraying a confidence. It's gossiping.
Hopefully your acquaintance has not gone around telling others about the pastor's wife's prayer request ... and I would advise him to pray as she requested and not repeat it to anyone else.
I would also confront your acquaintance and let him know that if he has repeated it to anyone else that he needs to let the pastor AND the pastor's wife know he has done so. It could cause a huge embarrassment for them if others know of her private feelings relating to her marriage.
He also needs to apologize to her. How sad ... perhaps she needs to have a confidante that she can lean on for such private prayers.
You acquaintance needs to maintain confidentiality. By interferring and not giving it to the Lord in prayer, he is in effect taking the matter into his own hands.
And certainly by no means should you be telling others.
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: Does he say anthing or not? - 9/17/2008 11:41:50 AM
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small_creation
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I agree with RC on this one. And I don't think that someone asking for prayers in the situation you were in was an open invitation to intervene in any other regard than to pray.
I'm not saying you were going to take it further, but this is just my ongoing opinion on these kind of matters.
j
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