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Dress Code for Outdoor Wedding - 9/25/2008 11:25:35 AM
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catlady11
Posts: 56
Joined: 4/18/2005
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With all the wedding threads - I decided to start this one. My husband and I get married at my sister's house with just the immediate family. Although a "dress code" was not mentioned his sister and nice knew that I was wearing a tradiational gown, the groom was renting a tux and we were going all out with flowers, decorations, professional photographer, etc. My husband's sister and niece (13 years old) showed up wearing shorts and flip flops. When my husband questions his sister she replied that there is no dress code for an outdoor weeding. When they first arrived I was furious but managed to calm down. The photographer made sure only their faces were in the pictures. My sister told me to tell them to leave but I didn't feel that was the right way to handle it.
Just looking for opinions on this and how would you have handled it.
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RE: Dress Code for Outdoor Wedding - 9/25/2008 11:26:39 AM
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catlady11
Posts: 56
Joined: 4/18/2005
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I meant wedding - not "weeding" - maybe for an outdoor "weeding" shorts and flip flops would be appropriate.
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RE: Dress Code for Outdoor Wedding - 9/25/2008 11:33:55 AM
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dianetavegia
Posts: 2029
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Southern Baptist, Non Calvinist, Pro Life Ga. girl
Status: offline
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GRACIOUS!
Our son and his wife were married in an outdoor ceremony about a year ago. Actually, their backyard, decorated nicely. Jon wore a white tux and Mary wore a traditional gown. The attendants were in formal wear. We all dressed up.
Unless you send out invitations saying 'beach wedding....... wear your favorite beach wear', I'd say nice outfits are expected.
Could you sil have a bad attitude about your wedding?
_____________________________
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RE: Dress Code for Outdoor Wedding - 9/25/2008 11:43:46 AM
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catlady11
Posts: 56
Joined: 4/18/2005
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There was no bad attitude. She was very happy about the wedding and encouraged me a lot when we were originally supposed to get married in March 2008 but I got scared and we ended up getting married in August 2008.
Also, during the reception she left for about 45 minutes to buy cat food. DH says all of this is very typical of her.
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RE: Dress Code for Outdoor Wedding - 9/25/2008 11:48:16 AM
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loveleee
Posts: 79
Joined: 6/6/2008
From: Southern Gal
Status: offline
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Wow, I believe you did the right thing to not tell them to leave. Your not the only one who has experienced this unfortunatley. We went to my husbands cousin wedding where one of his aunts wore a thin mans undershirt with her stomach hanging out with shorts.
I have to wonder of the family members who choose to wear such clothing to a special family affair are trying to get attention on themselves or are trying to make a point.
We chose not to make a big deal about it because that is what that family member wanted, she was not however is the pictures 
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RE: Dress Code for Outdoor Wedding - 9/25/2008 1:41:49 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 779
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
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I would be grateful they showed up... here's why -
at my wedding, my mom's relations bowed out the night
before the wedding... that hurt.
So I went around my neighborhood and invented people (there
was a lot of food to be eaten... and I remembered in the Bible where the
man had given a dinner and all the guests politely made excuses not to attend. The man sent out his servants to get people from his area to come in and eat... there was still room for more, so he told the servants to go into the poor areas and compel them to come in and eat.)
I had people showing up who'd just gotten off from work (soiled clothes) - a hippie looking couple, my yardman, etc. My wedding took place in a nice bed and breakfast inn(colonial mansion) the owner looked displeased but I'd paid for my time to use her b&b.
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RE: Dress Code for Outdoor Wedding - 9/25/2008 6:08:49 PM
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SurpassingPeace
Posts: 108
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
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I really think there are some people that just don't get it. They have no idea what appropriate attire is for any event. I blame when everyone wore sweat suits to everything in the 80's. (Just joking, but it is a thought.) Seriously though, I have seen the most disrespectful attire to things like weddings, theater events, and funerals. I have attended more funerals with grown ups in jean shorts. I wouldn't let my children wear this stuff, I definately would not as an adult.
I think you handled it well. She just sounds a little flighty. I have a sister like that. She showed up to our brother's funeral in waitress uniform. Truthfully we were just happy that 1. she showed up and 2. she finally had a job.
Karen
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RE: Dress Code for Outdoor Wedding - 9/27/2008 10:03:27 AM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 615
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
Status: offline
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quote:
They have no idea what appropriate attire is for any event.
it's because there is nothing consistent. I have been to weddings where my wife and Looked like the bride and groom, and we weren't even in the wedding party. I was wearing black pants and a nice purple shirt and she was wearing a purple dress ( we like to match sometimes) and the people getting married were wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt. They didn't say it was overly casual...
_____________________________
It does not have to be well with my circumstance to be well with my soul!
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RE: Dress Code for Outdoor Wedding - 9/29/2008 8:13:02 PM
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sudden
Posts: 166
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
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Dear catlady11:
I think you handled it perfectly. Telling the family that there is an "understood" dress code would have been pointless. They simply don't know any better. Asking them to leave may have fractured the relationship for years to come.
Getting flustered and having a hissy fit on such a day is somewhat expected of the bride or indeed the groom on his/her wedding day! Nerves tend to come to the surface. So, you had a little annoyance but the day turned out alright anyway, didn't it? You were married nonetheless. And I'll bet you a dollar to a doughnut that your sister-in-law and neice were embarassed when they saw how others were dressed.
It is too late for the adult but I'd be willing to bet that the 13 year old learned something from this experience.
You gave them the greatest gift, acceptance as they are for the price of some miftedness.
Yours for keeping the day light,
Sudden
_____________________________
I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
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RE: Dress Code for Outdoor Wedding - 10/1/2008 12:39:40 AM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 779
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
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not invented but invited - correcting my reply. LOL
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