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Emotional Cheating - 8/22/2008 5:57:30 PM
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coleenliz
Posts: 6
Joined: 8/22/2008
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This is a question to Chrisian men to get their perspective and also to help others with this topic. I know that it has affected me as well as many of my friends.
My personal recent experience is a I found out my boyfriend (we are both in our 40's) had been dating online, calling women and contacting his exes since we first met. He also did something spontaneous and pulled over on the freeway for a "sweet young lady" who proceeded to take topless pictures with him on his motorcyle. He then had the pics e-mailed to him and bragged to his his friends at work. This was about 4 months ago (we've been seeing each other for a year now). I gave him a second chance to change and he continued this behaviour. This is the 3rd time and final time I am giving him a chance to change.
He claims he loves me and doesn't want to lose me and has shown himself trustworthy for 4 months now. I keep my eyes wide open...that's how I found out in the first place.
Why do men sometimes sabotage themselves and put their relationships at risk like this?
< Message edited by coleenliz -- 8/22/2008 6:19:04 PM >
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RE: Emotional Cheating - 8/22/2008 7:06:00 PM
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netstroller
Posts: 158
Joined: 4/14/2005
From: dust and ashes
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quote:
Why do men sometimes sabotage themselves and put their relationships at risk like this?
Men like these are not so much sabotaging their relationships as not being people of ethics, honor, decency. Not worth your time at all. To be honest, what concerns me more than their blatant lack or morals, is why you are still dating someone like that. Talk is cheap, especially talk from someone so lacking in personal integrity and sense of honor.
_____________________________
...let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, ...
(Heb 12:1-2)
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RE: Emotional Cheating - 8/22/2008 7:37:31 PM
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APZR
Posts: 907
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: GA
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They were just pictures.... sheesh!
Did you hear something like that? If so, then you can expect that kind of behavior to continue. He's shown you his life style, what he thinks, how little morals he has, and how immature he is. So if you aren't willing to tolerate it, why stick around?
_____________________________
Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: Emotional Cheating - 8/22/2008 9:27:59 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: So Cal
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I agree with the previous posters. Some Men act like this because some women allow them to.
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: Emotional Cheating - 8/22/2008 9:47:06 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1786
Joined: 5/23/2006
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My question is why would it take a woman 3 times to realize what a loser she is talking to?
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RE: Emotional Cheating - 8/23/2008 9:27:19 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8005
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: coleenliz
My personal recent experience is a I found out my boyfriend (we are both in our 40's) had been dating online, calling women and contacting his exes since we first met. He also did something spontaneous and pulled over on the freeway for a "sweet young lady" who proceeded to take topless pictures with him on his motorcyle. He then had the pics e-mailed to him and bragged to his his friends at work.
First I'd doubt his Christianity. Some men fall into pornography and other sexual sins but it is a struggle for them, they are ashamed and trying to get out. This guy is reveling in his sin. Bragging about topless pictures to his buddies at work? Can you say blown witness? Doesn't seem like he even wants to be Christ-like.
Then this is an ongoing pattern, he called his ex girlfriends? and other women?, dating online?
Dump him. This behavior will not change. Find a good Christian man to date. (One who even acts like a Christian)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Emotional Cheating - 8/26/2008 8:12:36 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 4106
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From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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Once - perhaps give him another chance.
Twice or more - move on. This guy has a problem and you are not helping him overcome it by staying with him.
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RE: Emotional Cheating - 8/26/2008 10:31:40 AM
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Child4Jesus
Posts: 459
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
Status: online
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I agree with the others. It's time for you to move on.
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: Emotional Cheating - 9/11/2008 9:14:32 AM
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MAP2010
Posts: 53
Joined: 9/11/2008
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Heres the problem one day you will have a child and he will be your childs teacher, do you want your child to learn that its ok to do that?
Do you think he will be a good roll model for your child? Your child will become a man and do the same as he was shown and so on will his child learn from him, place your child who you might have before you. I would never ever be ok with that, you should not be ok with it. If a man wishes to have another he will, I say that his heart has already been with another and yet he might never have been with her.
I pray God shows you His will and leads you onto the right path,
Amen.
Mark
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RE: Emotional Cheating - 9/13/2008 11:34:59 AM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 323
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Hello coleenliz
Your guy obviously is not a practicing Christian. Are You? If so, you need to have a talk with him. If he has no interest in the Lord, run from him ASAP.
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RE: Emotional Cheating - 9/15/2008 9:55:38 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4188
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: coleenliz
Why do men sometimes sabotage themselves and put their relationships at risk like this?
to answer your question, so far nothing has been lost ...
to respond to what you didn't ask, run for the hills ... this is insane behavior ... if you think it's bad now, i can't imagine what it'll be like when you're married or if you guys have kids ... i advise you to head on over to the marriage forum and read some posts from people who ignored many red flags, married because they were tired of being single, and now life is SO much worse than they could have imagined and they wish they were single again ...
_____________________________
Photoblogging My Life
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