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FRIENDLY SOULS - 9/19/2008 2:50:36 AM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 94
Joined: 6/21/2008
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Am I just over vigilant or is there something not right about this....
Men who are in relationship have a tendency to come up and flirt with me and for some reason or another, don't mention that they are in relationship with someone. I usually am the one to find out! From one perspective, I'm wondering if they just think - ahh she's a nice girl, wouldn't challenge me so lets chat to her (even if it does come across as if they are flirting) OR they don't think about the consequences of their actions and just acting on an impulse to talk to me OR they're thinking she's cute, etc, etc, etc....
My cousin's bf was one of these and it really really did look as if he was hitting on me at the beginning - asking me if I knew [a name] - I wouldn't have had the slightest notion that they were together and he never said anything, just talked and flirted until one week later when I asked her why she never told me that she had been coming into our town some weekends and not mentioning it! She then tells me that she was dating him -whereas when I asked him how he knows her way way at the start he said ' we worked together for 3 months!' No mention of being together!!!
There are other guys who just look and stare. I REALLY would like to know what way I should put my mind and thoughts when faced with these regular situations. Many times, I also find that they get all sweet with me, but they HAVE GIRLFRIENDS!!!! ( I am sweet and petite, I know  , but they're with someone....does that every cross their minds???)
I would really like to know what to do in these situations...
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RE: FRIENDLY SOULS - 9/19/2008 10:03:35 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeautifulFemale
I would really like to know what to do in these situations...
My guess would be that if they are not Christians they are looking to score. (Been there done that, although never while in a relationship).
If they are Christians then I don't understand it as it's emotional adultery. So I'd have to assuem that they are not Christian.
The answer is to first find out if someone is a Christian.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: FRIENDLY SOULS - 9/19/2008 12:47:27 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 94
Joined: 6/21/2008
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Hey John, thanks for replying. Yes, they are generally non-Christians.cChristian guys seem to connect with me via facebook, but say nothing. I wish some guys would be straight about what they want. I'm also finding it difficult because I am attracted to these guys, but I still lust for them. Last time, went to a deliverance meeting, got delivered from lust. THEN, following week, the most lust provoking male and his actions had to break me down for 6 months. He had a girlfriend, but the way he acted with me was as if he knew he could mess with my mind, but be uncovered. It was harsh and God had told me especially at 530am ' No' in relation to that guy. It was a struggle and then eventually I had to move jobs/him too -contracts over.
Great thing is that the meeting is on again tomorrow so will be able to deal with this again!
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RE: FRIENDLY SOULS - 9/19/2008 2:15:54 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4189
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: online
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i agree that they are just players. unfortunately many guys don't care they are in a relationship or if the woman they are flirting with is either ...
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Photoblogging My Life
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RE: FRIENDLY SOULS - 9/28/2008 10:33:47 PM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1231
Joined: 6/1/2008
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I don't think it's an either / or situation.
Vigilence is good.
Window shopping could be taking place. A relationship you aren't aware of could be on the rocks, looking at a break up.
It is a thing of high character to not be a heartbreaker/couple-splitter. That gets you a big two thumbs up in my book.
Guys that just look and stare- well, maybe they forgot to wipe the lipstick off their cheek. However, maybe they are going to go and tell their hopeless, incredibly shy, guy friend about who they saw at so and so. This could be something to ask the guy about, if it really makes you freak out. That, or do some sort of acknowledging action followed shortly by an oh, please! action, turn nose up, no more attention to you, buddy. You may even be sitting next to Jackie Chan, in which case you could gesture to him, then pound your fist into your open palm- that kind of suggestion.
On whoopin' up on lust and the whole eye candy scene (this gets ugly for everyone sometimes), I wouldn't let any amount of eye staring be reason for you to initiate any conversation, or make any acknowledgement of existence. If lazyboy can't get up, walk over, and speak, then where's the acknowledgement that you are a living, breathing person and not, as you say, just a sweet, petite 'work of art- I mean of God'? It ain't there.
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The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalm 28:7
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