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How did i get here - - 9/16/2008 1:21:48 PM
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11221
Posts: 10
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline
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Hello I'm new here.... - I NEED HELP.... I am saved and please when you read all that I have to type please know that I really need ur help. I am a saved single young lady - everything was going right in my life I was where I needed to be (so I thought) and I was grow in God. I was dating a young man a while back and we parted ways... we both belong to the same church... as time went on we found ourselves back to "dating" to make a long story short I am not 4months pregnant, In the past I did terminate a pregnancy (no he wasn’t the father) and I made I vow to myself that I would never to that again the guilt and everything that came along with it still effects me 10years later. Needless to say this person knows of the vow I made and wants me to terminate the pregnancy because it’s not the time for a child we’re not married etc. I feel like my back is up against the wall… one week he’s excited and the next it’s I can’t believe you are forcing me to be a father now and I’m not ready, I can’t believe you are trying to mess up my life. Is all that he says to me now along with if you have this baby I will HATE YOU… I have accept the fact that me having sex outside of being married was wrong and since have being working on getting back to where I need to be in Christ. I said to him that even in our sin God has blessed us with life… his response to me was this has nothing to do with God this has to do with me and you… HUH… God has to do with everything he’s the reason WHY I AM…. Then he went out to say I should terminate the pregnancy and do this the right way the way God intended it to be. Oh and let me not forget this part… I love you so much and I want to marry you but I’m not ready for a baby right now we don’t need this we have so much in life we need to complete (I’m 35 years old). Next year we can have a baby, and this is the famous one…. I told him if I was to terminate this pregnancy because you want me to I will never forgive you and have nothing but regrets and so on and so forth… so after all his abusive talk he says to me… will you leave me??? Can we stay together????...I’m to the point that I don’t want to deal with his abusive way of talking to me I don’t want to deal with this anymore and now I want to terminate the pregnancy not to be with him but so I don’t have to deal with him…I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE… I’m all out my strength is gone.
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RE: How did i get here - - 9/16/2008 1:43:51 PM
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TorchHeart
Posts: 1497
Joined: 6/4/2008
From: One of the coldest places on Earth
Status: offline
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11221... Hi (that's always a good way to start out a conversation, right?) 
First off, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I cannot imagine how difficult it is for you, and I feel for you. You have my prayers and my sympathy.
That said, do you REALLY want to terminate this pregnancy? I don't mean to put pressure on you, but how much of that desire is you and how much is this man who seems to be in two different worlds over this (and you)? His attitude towards you doesn't sound very Christian. I'm especialy leary of his comments about saying that he'll marry you and the two of you can have a baby next year, but at the same time telling you such stuff as that he'll hate you if you have this baby, or that you're trying to force him to be a father (as though he had no part in the conception of this child).
Since the two of you aren't married, if he's being pushy or abusive to you, then maybe you should step away from him for a while so you can think about this for yourself and get your head clear. Please consider ALL of your options; not just abortion. This baby, regardless of how it was conceived, might be a great blessing to you from God. Or, if you really feel that you're not ready to be a mom, yet, there is always the option of putting the child up for adoption, as there are many loving people out there who want a baby, but cannot have one at this time for whatever reason.
Whatever the case, don't just let your boyfriend pressure you into compromising your morals and having an abortion just because its more convenient for him. You BOTH will have to live with the consequences of your actions, and if he isn't willing to think about that, then you have to be the one to step up to the plate and take control without him trying to badger you.
God bless you and your unborn baby.
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RE: How did i get here - - 9/16/2008 2:14:00 PM
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11221
Posts: 10
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline
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Thank you so much... No i don't want to terminate this pregnancy -- i have the support of my family and friends it's him i can't deal with... Yesterday i was listening to a song by William Murphy - he was saying how he was born to a 15 year old mother and his father who is not a Bishop - he said it's it funny how God can bless what you think is a mistake - he went on to say that when the devil spoke to him and said he was a mistake God spoke to him and said ur not a mistake ur not a mess I CREATED YOU TO WORSHIP ME!!! I could not stop crying... and even talking about it now I know my baby isn't a mess - i could have been writing about have full blown AIDS but in my mess he still blessed me with Life....
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RE: How did i get here - - 9/16/2008 2:36:07 PM
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TorchHeart
Posts: 1497
Joined: 6/4/2008
From: One of the coldest places on Earth
Status: offline
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I can see you have a good heart, and I think you are viewing this pregnancy in the right way.
So don't let this guy talk you into getting an abortion. Stand up to him, and if he continues to be a Edited TOS 5, get away from him. I firmly believe that he's being selfish and only thinking of himself. His promises, to me, sound like empty offers that he'd probably just back out of the moment this baby was gone.
And, aside from that, if you really do have the support of your family and friends, then chances are this won't be as difficult a road as it might initially appear (NOTE: I'm not saying that it won't be tough or without challenges, but if you know you have help, then its most likely not going to be THAT tough... amazing how God will put people in our lives to help soften the blows of life's hammer, isn't it?).
I think that this child is lucky to have you as its mother.
< Message edited by Kath -- 9/16/2008 3:57:22 PM >
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RE: How did i get here - - 9/16/2008 4:01:05 PM
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Kath
Posts: 17229
Joined: 2/28/2005
Status: offline
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11221
Welcome to forums!
It is considered spam and a violation of our Terms of Service to start the same thread in more than one area, therefore this thread is closed.
Please join us in the discussion that remains open HERE
Sincerely
Kath
Volunteer Assistant Administrator
Please do not reply to this message within the Community.
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_____________________________
"It's going to be bad around here when the cows come home to roost."
Dilbert's TRUE QUOTES FROM INDUHVIDUALS
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