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Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/27/2008 11:38:53 PM
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bella05
Posts: 20
Joined: 4/22/2008
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Hello all,
My husband was raised Catholic and even went to a Jesuit college. We've been married for only a year. During the time we were dating, he started to go to my church, which is an evangelical reformed Presbyterian Church. We both knew in order to get married we need to belong to one denomination. So he decided not to go to the Catholic Church anymore. We've been going to the same church for about 2 1/2 years. He still enjoys going and loves our pastor's sermons which is so awesome.
The only thing is, is that he has no desire to read God's Word, meditate on His Word, join a bible study, or to seriously get involved with our church. It's like the sermons go in one ear and straight out the other. He says that he is a Christian. He states that he was raised Catholic, went to all the theology classes, goes to church every Sunday, and has done some volunteer work in the past. But he doesn't see the need to read the Bible everyday and usually comes up with an excuse saying that he's too busy. He doesn't feel comfortable in a Bible Study and finds it too emotional. So, I'm sort of the spiritual leader of the house and I know that I shouldn't be (at least not forever).
Catholicism is really confusing to me. I'm not trying to put anyone down or anything. My husbands entire family is Catholic. They go to mass every Sunday. However, they never read the Bible either nor get involved with their church, or hangout with other believers. I'm here thinking, well they are still brothers and sisters in Christ but there's no heart in it?
One of his family members commented saying that they read the bible during mass and that's all they need.
So my husband shares the same way of thinking and living. I try to be encouraging and ask him if we can read the bible once a week. We do on occasion and he never complains.It's really up to me to mention it. He doesn't have any male christian friends. When he does get together with Christian friends, they're usually my friends who are married.
One time I asked if we could ask one of his non-christian friends to go to church with us. This one particular friend has abandoned the faith because of the last church that he attended.
My husband got really upset and said that he doesn't want to impose our beliefs on him. I feel so stuck here and completely flabbergasted. He says that he's a christian but it's like it hasn't hit home yet. I'm really scratching my head over this and starting to get discouraged.
Usually he even agrees with me and says that he need to be more disciplined and a "better Christian" (whatever that means). I feel like I'm being tricked or something because he's been saying this for quite sometime now. He's just not motivated. Of course, I always pray for him. I just feel disappointed and upset at times. I love him a lot. He's very patient, understanding, kind, and such a gentleman. But when it comes to our faith... God doesn't seem to be his top priority.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Is it harder for men to befriend christian males? Or for men to express themselves in the faith?
Thank you,
Bella
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/28/2008 8:21:56 AM
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evryknee
Posts: 276
Joined: 3/9/2008
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Bella - This is something, I have found, that many Christian women struggle with. Their husbands are not quite being the spiritual leader or working on their relationship with the Lord. I confess, too, that the daily reading of Scriptures are difficult to do - but in the end - we do that which is a priority for us.
The only thing I can say is for you to continue praying for him. You are not the Holy Spirit, so you cannot change him - but you can pray to God that the Holy Spirit will. There will be moments in time where something you say may influence him, and pray for wisdom what those words might be and when to say them.
The Christian walk is about a relationship with God. I do not know if your hubby has difficulties with relationships, but that is what is a big part of our active faith. Keep praying that God will help him see the depth necessary in faith....and be patient!! Blessings!
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/28/2008 10:00:35 AM
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Szaftoo
Posts: 866
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: So. Calif.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: YZGUY
The only thing I can say is for you to continue praying for him. You are not the Holy Spirit, so you cannot change him - but you can pray to God that the Holy Spirit will. There will be moments in time where something you say may influence him, and pray for wisdom what those words might be and when to say them.
Excellent advice. His spiritual growth and walk with the Lord are up to him, not you. Focus on your own and ask the Lord to soften his heart and give him a desire to mature and grow in the Lord.
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/28/2008 1:58:18 PM
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jubee
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quote:
The only thing I can say is for you to continue praying for him. You are not the Holy Spirit, so you cannot change him - but you can pray to God that the Holy Spirit will. There will be moments in time where something you say may influence him, and pray for wisdom what those words might be and when to say them.
The Christian walk is about a relationship with God. I do not know if your hubby has difficulties with relationships, but that is what is a big part of our active faith. Keep praying that God will help him see the depth necessary in faith....and be patient!! Blessings!
I love it! This is excellent advice.
Jubee 
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/28/2008 2:29:18 PM
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CatholicCritter
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what you see in his family is not Catholicism, what you see is a lukewarm, secular, and culturized version of Catholicism. being Catholic these days is a cultural thing rather than a deep desire for Truth in way too many households.
i second the sentiments here. pray for him. my wife did the same thing and prayed me back home to Christ and His Church. her patience, undying faith, and the love she showed before, during, and after my conversion was incredible. i was 'Catholic' for 3 decades before I actually converted to the Catholic faith with complete fidelity and submission to Christ, so it WILL happen. i was Catholic educated and went to a jesuit college as well, my family is still like his but I will never go back to lukewarm trust in God again--and when God the Holy Spirit decides it is time, your husband will receive the grace he'll need to stand up and lead your family with, in, and to Christ.
_____________________________
http://saintunderconstruction.blogspot.com/
"There are not 100 people who hate the Catholic Church, yet there are millions who hate what they believe the Catholic Church to be." --Archbishop Fulton Sheen
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/28/2008 8:01:07 PM
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tiffywal
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My husban and I were born and raised Catholic. His whole family is still Catholic. Mine has branched off into other denominations. Catholics don't don't emphasis reading the bible. During Mass on Sunday's you read from the book (forgot what it is called) which has scripture in it but that is it. Children have to attend CCD classes and they are taught stories from the bible, but again no bible reading. It is just how it is. I now go to a bible teaching church, where teachings come straight from the bible. All i can say is pray for your husband and just don't push him.
My comments on the Catholic church is not to offend anyone. I was was raised Catholic and attend attended catholic churches up until 2003.
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/28/2008 11:46:57 PM
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Christian30
Posts: 205
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From: Stafford, TX (Houston suburb)
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Bella, you've already gotten some good advice here. I am in a Reformed Presbyterian church too (for the last 28 of my 50 yrs), and our church has many former Catholics who consistently practice the spiritual disciplines. But for many of them it took a very long time to "find" their way in their new church and Christian society. Actually, 2.5 years is not too long. Give him time, lots of patience, and encouragement. Also, if you know a man with whom he would be personally compatible, you might give him a "nudge" to pursue a relationship with your husband that could help him in his spiritual journey.
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/29/2008 12:36:24 PM
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BibleBased
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I only joined the site today, but my user name says it all. I meet too many christians who have either never read the bible or read it decades ago. This is NOT a matter of Salvation, but it is an issue of gaining all the blessings God has for us, and growing - with the flip side being losing faith.
The other problem is when discussing almost any issue, they give personal opinion and back it by saying i prayed and the Holy Spirit told me this is correct. They tell you that God told them the bible is wrong. But God doesn't change. If you hear a voice in prayer telling you anything that contadicts the bible, that voice is not God's.
I really fear for any christian who is not regularly in the bible, and i mean daily or almost daily. One chapter/ 15 minutes? Lunch break, bed time, instead of more tv or reading other things. Readings in church are just not enough.
Also there is the fear that if he enjoys hearing scripture and talk/ sermons on scripture - that is what he likes. The bible tells us there are people like that who enjoy listerning to the Word of God, but never have it in them.
Only you know your husband. But i believe from the little you say you should have big fears. So what to do? Set the best Christian example you can, read when he is around so he sees you do it. Giving up things you enjoy doing, like tv programs to do it first, sets a good example. Refusing to do unchristian things or ungodly talk.
Believe me i know what it is like. My wife is actually a non believer. I talk about our faith all day every day. I have to convince other christians, including my own mother a christian of 60 years to ever pick up a bible. I have to correct christians all the time and show them the bible chapter and verse. Often they just say well i don't believe that.
Lastly please read the bible every day, whatever happens. 66 books of loving advice from our Lord and God. Evert verse and chapter and book teach us things. Don't let anyone tell you one word is no longer valid. One of my greatest sadnesses is how many Christians only believe certain books or chapters, some literally only believe the death and resurrection and NOTHING else and teach against the rest of scripture, including everything Jesus taught and the apostles. God bless and if you want to personal message me, or anyone else please do, God bless, BibleBased.
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/29/2008 9:43:12 PM
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carl54
Posts: 57
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The way to help your husband is to continue praying for him and live the example for him to see how a christian should walk. There are different levels of maturity and we canīt rush someone along to get them where we think they ought to be. Be content that is availaing himself to sound christian teaching every Sunday by going to church. So many spouses wish their mate would make that step. Remember, God brings the increase in his own time. And be careful you donīt push your husband in the wrong direction -- donīt nag and complain about his maturity.
Pray, pray, pray...
_____________________________
Walk in the Sirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Gal 5:16
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/29/2008 10:37:41 PM
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mariadreamer
Posts: 298
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I've been in a similar situation and my wonderful husband was also raised Catholic (yet later lapsed and decided to be a non-believer). Although now I know that it has nothing really to do with the Catholic church because they do teach that all need to read the Bible daily. Some people who are nominal Catholics may hold the myth that just hearing the Mass readings is enough. This is not exclusive to Catholicism, but happens in any branch of Christendom, in my experience.
Everyone is on a journey. In my situation, what made any difference at all was not me telling him he needed to get more spiritual or read the Bible (that was a turn-off), but him seeing the change in my own behavior. With the help of God, I started asking for forgiveness for things I had done that weren't so perfect and to be a more loving accomodating wife regardless of his spiritual state. I had to learn to not try to control his spirituality. Someone gave me this verse to implement and I struggled with it, still do...
1 Peter 3:1-2 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Eventually as I let go of trying to spiritualize him, over the period of 1-2 years, he changed dramatically. We did a lot of searching and he says everything finally "clicked" for him in the Orthodox Church. He is eagerly involved in the church, praying and studying, so much that I sometimes want to pinch myself to see if I'm dreaming.
Wishing you all the best.
In Christ,
Maria
_____________________________
Christ is risen from the dead,
by death He has trampled down death,
and on those in the tombs bestowing life!
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/29/2008 10:57:25 PM
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Sadey
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Dear Bella,
You said in your post that he is patient, kind, understanding and such a gentleman. Wow he sounds great. He goes to church and loves the sermons. He is hearing God's word. Please don't fall into the trap of feeling superior spritually to him, you will do more harm than good.
Let him be, love him, appreciate him, respect him and enjoy having a good man for a husband and leave the rest of it to God.
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 4/30/2008 12:10:10 PM
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bella05
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Thank you all so much for your insight and well-thought out answers. I can't believe everyone took the time to help me with my situation. All of your answers are very helpful.
My husband is wonderful. I don't feel "superior spiritually to him". I would love to see him experience the fullness of God and that is my prayer.
At times though, it can be a little tough. I see these married couples at church and wonder, "when will my husband get there?"
I will try to be more patient. Thanks for your support.
Bella
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 5/1/2008 3:34:25 PM
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p.progress
Posts: 152
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Dear Bella, I haven't read the other posts regarding your delimma, so I am giving you straight out what I see to be the problem and the solutions for it. I fear though that none I think you are going to be willing to soberly take into serious consideration. But I thought it good to offer you what may be your only Scriptural solution - though I am well aware that the strength of your emotional entanglement with this man, will not permit you to see the objective reality that you are facing. I'll start my answers by quoting your words and then commenting:
"Hello all,
My husband was raised Catholic and even went to a Jesuit college."
This man was RAISED a Roman Catholic and to be sure STILL IS and REMAINS a Roman Catholic...him accommodating you notwithstanding in your particular choice and flavor of professing Christendom.
"We've been married for only a year."
You now for a year have considered yourself the lawful wife of this man...YOU, a born from above; redeemed, professing child of God, having a knowledge of your sins washed away by the once and for all never to be repeated blood sacrifice of Christ upon the cross, who YOU placed your ENTIRE trust and confidence in, NOT leaning whatsoever upon your OWN MERITS (works or deeds) to provide the grace to deliver you from "the wrath to come", but HIS merits, his perfect life of obedience to the will of his Father. You leaned upon this to not only deliver you from the wrath to come, but to give to you "the gift of righteousness" and "the gift of the Holy Spirit" of God to come into you and dwell with you and who enlightens you to the truth and SUPPLIES TO YOU THE DESIRE AND POWER TO both LOVE THE WORD OF GOD and THE PEOPLE OF GOD.
You leaned upon and placed your trust in Christ himself to save you from your sin, the wrath to come, and to grant to you the right to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven; you did not LOOK TO, NOR LEAN UPON the false claims of a religious system...no matter how 'ancient', 'great' or 'established' it is in this world to provide any of this for you. Such false claims would have lulled you to sleep, as it has millions of others; and caused you to think and say of yourself what you were not: a true child of God...that is, a follower of Christ, a 'Chrsitian'.
It is written: "...only in the Lord" [1Cor.7:39-40], "be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers...". To 'marry' an unbeliever is a violation of the command that specifically forbids this union.
"During the time we were dating, he started to go to my church, which is an evangelical reformed Presbyterian Church."
It is very common for a man to do this sort of thing, in order to please and thus win the affections of the woman he is interested in. Your experience in this regard is not the first, and sadly will not be the last.
Your dating of him - though you were ignorant of this or not - was the beginning of your violation of the command of Christ (who you call your Lord and Saviour - Master) to you (a believing woman) not to 'marry' such a man...NO MATTER HOW CUTE, HANDSOME, CHARMING, WITTY, INTELLIGENT, COMFORTABLE, KIND, GRACIOUS or otherwise the man might appear to be or is. There is a reason - if not many in fact WHY christ FORBIDS such unions.
"We both knew in order to get married we need to belong to one denomination. So he decided not to go to the Catholic Church anymore."
No, that may be your's and this man's thinking, but that is not what God thinks, nor what the Word of God teaches to believers is essential to 'getting married'.
In order to 'get married', God requires a few simple prerequisites: One, the father gives his daughter in marriage; and two, even if the father gives her, she may not marry a man if he is not a believer and she either knows or 'thinks' she is a believer.
That means to marry another man's daughter who's father "utterly refuses to give her" to him in marriage, is to covet and steal from that man what God forbids any man to covet or steal from another man; or as in this case of coveting and stealing, vaining trying to take the daughter of a man "to wife" when it is forbidden him before God to do so.
So the father MUST "give her" before she can in God's eyes be "taken to wife" - otherwise the so-called 'marriage', is NOT lawful, that is it is NOT acceptable in God's view and he thus does not make them "one-flesh" when they engage in physical intercourse on their supposed 'wedding night', rather they have defiled themselves and the sanctity of what a "marriage bed" is, and will bring God's blessing in when done acording to his will and order.
To get a so-called priest, pastor, minister or otherwise to 'perform a ceremony' of 'marriage' for a daughter who has disobeyed what God commands her to not do, that is, to marry a man who her earthly father forbids her to marry or he as her Heavenly Father forbids her to marry, does nothing to change God's mind on the matter. Such so-called 'marriages' only cause the minds of the ignorant and rebellious to rationalize what they want to believe to be true - but is in reality not. If God does not honor the sexual union then it is not a marriage, or a "one-flesh" relationship such enter into and engage in, but rather they are guilty of fornication...albeit a 'legalized' form of fornication. The state may grant you a license to marry, but that only establishes the 'legal right ' to do so in the eyes of the state; that has nothing to do with what only God can do when he makes two one-flesh.
This is a very serious issue, as there are many who are under the false impression that just because "the powers that be" are ordained of God, that this means whatever they give their 'stamp of approval' on in regards to 'marriage' God honors. This is a very, very naive and erroneous notion. If that were true, then when the state of Vermont (etc.) grants a legal 'marriage license' for two sodomites to 'marry', then they two would become one-flesh, and their 'marriage bed' would not be defiled by their deviant sexual acts (men with men, women with women), instead God would HAVE TO honor their unions!!! God forbid!!!
DO you SEE that God does not automatically honor what even "the powers that be" 'sanctify'?
Did God honor the murdering of millions of peoples in Nazi Gemany; or even many millions more in communist Russia under Stalin? God fobid that notion!!! It is no different when we are speaking of the commands of God against the marriages of believing women with unbelieving men; or a man who takes another man's daughter who refused to give his daughter to him "to wife". Just because it is 'legal' does not make it 'Lawful' [God's Law]. If anything, the legalized murder of unborn children via 'abortion' (Roe vs. Wade) ought to make this fact of truth plain to see and understand to be so.
The alleged importance of BELONGING TO THE SAME DENOMINATION is to think as man thinks and wrongly infer is an important ingredient in God's eyes. Belonging to the same God is what is essential to God. Merely professing to be a 'Christian' is not enough. Wisdom would have guarded you from allowing your heart to begin welding itself and become emotionally bonded to a man before you were absolutely certain of the genuineness of his relationship to Christ through the Holy Spirit. Did your father have anythinng to say about all this if you had one watching out for you? No need to answer this, just a question for you to think upon.
"We've been going to the same church for about 2 1/2 years. He still enjoys going and loves our pastor's sermons which is so awesome."
How so, for you go on to say...
"The only thing is, is that he has no desire to read God's Word, meditate on His Word, join a bible study, or to seriously get involved with our church."
What does the Word of God say of those that have been born again? "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the Word that ye may grow thereby" I'll go so far as to say, I doubt the any who have truly been converted will lack this kind of hunger and thirst for God and His Word.
"It's like the sermons go in one ear and straight out the other. "
"It's like..." that most likely because that is precisely what is occuring when this man sits in the pew and the words of the man speaking enter his ears. Do you not know that Paul addressed this in the letter to the Corinthians [1Cor.2.14,6-16]? And Jesus himself spoke of this very thing [John 3; 8:43]? He does not understand whatever spiritual truth is being related from the lips of another man, becuae he is not born of the Spirit of God as yet.
"He says that he is a Christian."
Yes and you naively believe - or WANT TO believe this to be true. But face that facts: He most likely is NOT a believer; that's why he doesn't act like one. You 'married' an unbeliever...a very kind one perhaps, but an unbeliever nevertheless.
"He states that he was raised Catholic, went to all the theology classes, goes to church every Sunday, and has done some volunteer work in the past. "
So? That only lends itself to raising even more doubt about any conversion experience he's assumed to have had.
"But he doesn't see the need to read the Bible everyday and usually comes up with an excuse saying that he's too busy."
Again, the desire for God's Word only comes to thoise that are either seeking the kingdom of God (being drawn to it by the Spirit of God); or by those who have received the Holy Spirit after receiving the gift of righteousness by placing their whole faith and confidence in the merits of Christ - NOT a 'church' or religious system that calls itself the 'Church Universal'.
"He doesn't feel comfortable in a Bible Study and finds it too emotional. So, I'm sort of the spiritual leader of the house and I know that I shouldn't be (at least not forever).'
Well he might be right about your 'bible study' Perhaps there is too much emotional emphasis there; perhaps there is little truly spiritual depth being presented there, I don't know. BUt sometimes this is the case. If it is, then perhaps he might be interested in a bible study that is more centered on the study of the WOrd of God than a 'feel' good group meeting, that does little true scriptural study. Again I don't know what you're involved with. But it still sounds as if he is not evidencing spiritual life.
"Catholicism is really confusing to me."
Join the club. I have studied it somewhat, and can say this: Much, very much of what they teach SEEMS so close to the truth; but in my own sutdied opinion, is just that - an appearance. Better to stick to studying the scriptures then to try to figure out the RC religion or even argue about it. Seek the wisdom and knowledge of the Word of God and all false religious sytstems will become more clearly false in your sight as you gain the mind of God.
"I'm not trying to put anyone down or anything. My husbands entire family is Catholic. They go to mass every Sunday."
It isn't a matter of 'putting down' people or even religous systems; Christ and the apostles taught and warned all true believers to learn to discern between "good and evil"; truth and error. You can judge between the two without assuming the role of a judge, that is condemning as only God is able and has the right to condemn. We need to discern for our safety and to help others who need to be warned of things that will lead them astray...if they want to be hepled all the more you can speak to them.
I have no more time to comment on the below, but encourage you to take a step back and think on what I have said herein. I hope you can tell that I am not condemning you or this man. But I do care for the truth, and I see that you are in need of growth your understanding of the will of God for his children. It appears you've made a very serious error in marrying this man...not that he is not as I said before unworthy of someone's admoration, love and affection...just not a believers. And if you are a believer as it appears you seem to evidence, then you have made a common mistake in assuming too much of the character qualities this man possesses. He is not a believer, you are; good and kind and all that he may be or is: He still was and is off limits to you as a believer.
My perspective: I see that you are not "one-flesh" with him (i.e. not truly 'married'), but have entered into a relationship, 'legal' though it may be, it is nevertheless not Lawful in the eyes of God; and so is not acceptable to him...hence your physical relations are not sanctified in the sight of God, but rather you are committing the sin of fornication with him.
I speak from the stand point of what I have discovered in the study of the Word of God. And I am well aware of the fact that since it is very different and contrary to what is being generally taught out there in Christendom today, it is too strong to the ears of many to hear and bear. I can only say or encourage any (and l'll include you here), to not automatically reject what is stated herein as false, just because it is severe; but examine the scriptures for yourself - but do so honestly and very, very, very thoroughly...take your time in doing so, but don't fail to be diligent.
Look up all passages about daughters, marriage, taking a wife, giving in marriage, etc. These issues I cannot go into too much detail here, as they are considered I'm sure, 'off topic'. So if you have any further questions of comments, please feel free to contact me via whatever means this forum provides.
Blessing to you as you seek the truth of God.
"However, they never read the Bible either nor get involved with their church, or hangout with other believers. "
I'm here thinking, well they are still brothers and sisters in Christ but there's no heart in it?
"One of his family members commented saying that they read the bible during mass and that's all they need."
"So my husband shares the same way of thinking and living. I try to be encouraging and ask him if we can read the bible once a week. We do on occasion and he never complains."
"It's really up to me to mention it. He doesn't have any male christian friends. When he does get together with Christian friends, they're usually my friends who are married."
"One time I asked if we could ask one of his non-christian friends to go to church with us. This one particular friend has abandoned the faith because of the last church that he attended.
My husband got really upset and said that he doesn't want to impose our beliefs on him."
"I feel so stuck here and completely flabbergasted. He says that he's a christian but it's like it hasn't hit home yet. I'm really scratching my head over this and starting to get discouraged."
"Usually he even agrees with me and says that he need to be more disciplined and a "better Christian" (whatever that means)."
"I feel like I'm being tricked or something because he's been saying this for quite sometime now. He's just not motivated. Of course, I always pray for him. I just feel disappointed and upset at times.
"I love him a lot. He's very patient, understanding, kind, and such a gentleman. But when it comes to our faith... God doesn't seem to be his top priority."
"Any advice would be greatly appreciated."
"Is it harder for men to befriend christian males? Or for men to express themselves in the faith?"
Thank you,
Bella
Thank you all so much for your insight and well-thought out answers. I can't believe everyone took the time to help me with my situation. All of your answers are very helpful.
My husband is wonderful. I don't feel "superior spiritually to him". I would love to see him experience the fullness of God and that is my prayer.
At times though, it can be a little tough. I see these married couples at church and wonder, "when will my husband get there?"
I will try to be more patient. Thanks for your support.
Bella
[/quote]
< Message edited by p.progress -- 5/1/2008 3:51:18 PM >
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 5/2/2008 1:30:59 PM
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bella05
Posts: 20
Joined: 4/22/2008
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p.progress,
Thank you for your response. I do appreciate all the time you have put into it. HOWEVER, to say that, "I naively believed that he is a Christian and that I made a mistake in marrying him" is extremely farfetched. I prayed before our wedding date and asked others to pray for us. My husband and I talked with our pastor, Christian mentors, we went to premarital seminars at our church... not one of them said "do not marry each other." The wedding still went on and I trust God. I know and have seen that no marriage is perfect. The reason I posted this question was for support and to see how others handle this particular situation. Honestly, I really could not have asked for a better husband.
I'm sure you were at the position once where my husband is now, as we ALL were, which is unsaved or a lukewarm Christian. We are sinners saved by GRACE. You don't know what God has in store for my husband or for anyone, neither do I. I love my husband very much and as I stated before, my prayer is that he will one day experience the fullness of God. Anything is possible with God. There is a reason why we are married and I know that God is working on his heart because I have seen some growth in him.
I'm sticking with 1 Peter 3:1-6, which is a wonderful passage on instruction to wives with unbelieving husbands.
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 5/2/2008 1:44:15 PM
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texasgirl3177
Posts: 2
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
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Hi Bella. I am in the same boat somewhat. I love to read my Bible, study, go to church, and fellowship with brothers and sisters in the Lord. My husband, on the other hand, likes none of that. He did accept Christ a few years ago, and was very much on fire then. Not now. I am the spiritual leader in our household with our 3 kids too. I know it's hard right now, but these people who replied before me, are right. You just can't give up. Keep praying. Keep reading. Keep studying. Keep loving. Keep being patient. He will see the change it makes in you. And remember, Gods Word will not go back to Him void. Love ya, and keep up the good fight!
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 5/5/2008 2:36:34 PM
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p.progress
Posts: 152
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bella05
p.progress,
Thank you for your response. I do appreciate all the time you have put into it. HOWEVER, to say that, "I naively believed that he is a Christian and that I made a mistake in marrying him" is extremely farfetched.
No offence to you, and though I don't find that I said what you have in quotes above; nevertheless, yes I do believe you did naively judge his man to be a believer. Remember that I said:
"It is very common for a man to do this sort of thing, in order to please and thus win the affections of the woman he is interested in. Your experience in this regard is not the first, and sadly will not be the last.
Your dating of him - though you were ignorant of this or not - was the beginning of your violation of the command of Christ (who you call your Lord and Saviour - Master) to you (a believing woman) not to 'marry' such a man...NO MATTER HOW CUTE, HANDSOME, CHARMING, WITTY, INTELLIGENT, COMFORTABLE, KIND, GRACIOUS or otherwise the man might appear to be or is. There is a reason - if not many in fact WHY christ FORBIDS such unions."
You see that I take nothing away from the good attributes that this man has and may have, and were attractive to you. But that is not the main issue before us as believers - and in particular believing woman, to whom the command was specifically addressed to in Paul's letter to the Corinthian saints: "...but only in the Lord" That is, women - and even more in particular, widowed women are at "liberty" to marry again, but with a clear qualifier attached therein: "...ONLY in the Lord". And I grant you that you thought and still want to think of this man as a believer...and perhaps he is...BUT it is your own words that cause me to seriously doubt that this is the case at all. I have not made all this up, and on the contrary my words are not far fetched at all, but do closely follow even precisely what the scriptures reveal about all this.
I mean no offence as I said before. I don't know you or this man; I ONLY know what you have related in your OP. If you failed to comminicate the real situation and circumstances therein, I am ready to change my advice.
But a question: What did your own earthly father brother and mother - more importantly your father think and say of this man? Did he agree to your being his wife? Did he freely and willingly "give" you, his daughter to this man? Or did you (as so many do in this generation) take advantage of 'the laws' of this land that disregard the divine authority and prerogative rights God nevertheless has granted to one's parents? Did you look up and examine what the scriptures say about:
"I can only say or encourage any (and l'll include you here), to not automatically reject what is stated herein as false, just because it is severe; but examine the scriptures for yourself - but do so honestly and very, very, very thoroughly...take your time in doing so, but don't fail to be diligent.
Look up all passages about daughters, marriage, taking a wife, giving in marriage, etc. These issues I cannot go into too much detail here, as they are considered I'm sure, 'off topic'. So if you have any further questions of comments, please feel free to contact me via whatever means this forum provides."
I prayed before our wedding date and asked others to pray for us. My husband and I talked with our pastor, Christian mentors, we went to premarital seminars at our church... not one of them said "do not marry each other." The wedding still went on and I trust God. I know and have seen that no marriage is perfect. The reason I posted this question was for support and to see how others handle this particular situation. Honestly, I really could not have asked for a better husband.
Prayer is very crucial, but prayer needs to be in conformity with scripture.
Must go God bless.
I'm sure you were at the position once where my husband is now, as we ALL were, which is unsaved or a lukewarm Christian. We are sinners saved by GRACE. You don't know what God has in store for my husband or for anyone, neither do I. I love my husband very much and as I stated before, my prayer is that he will one day experience the fullness of God. Anything is possible with God. There is a reason why we are married and I know that God is working on his heart because I have seen some growth in him.
I'm sticking with 1 Peter 3:1-6, which is a wonderful passage on instruction to wives with unbelieving husbands.
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RE: Husband doesn't read Bible or is involved w/ church - 5/5/2008 4:25:46 PM
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bella05
Posts: 20
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline
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p.progress,
I never said that my husband wasn't a Christian. Right now my husband is not the spiritual leader of the house & is not fully involved with the church, but that doesn't mean that he isn't a Christian. But to answer your question... my husband did ask for my hand in marriage and my father said yes.
I think your interpretation of "unevenly yoked" is over the top. The Bible speaks of being "unequally-yoked" (2 Corinthians 6:14), but this only refers to believers and UNbelievers. It does not refer to two believers who happen to have some beliefs that are different. If both individuals know Jesus Christ as Savior,there is no reason, Biblically, that they could not date and/or marry.
Apparently, you have an extremely conservative view on how a Christian should be, which is fine I guess. But I'm both liberal and conservative.
As I said before, we are all sinners saved by grace. And maybe you have "back-slid" before or were at a time "lukewarm". Or maybe you're just the epitome of the perfect Christian...
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