• I've never, ever asked him out. Not even to something as friends.
  
• He asked me to dinner (alone) once, a week ago. But it's the same time and place we have gone for months every week with friends, and there was no clear indication it was a date
  
• I don't monopolize his time. He probably initiates 2/3 conversations and all the invitations, and he does at least as much talking as me. The friendship is honestly maintained by his initiative, not mine.
  
• I didn't put him in some kind of friend "ghetto" to start with. We just were casual friends through church for years, but we didn't hang out this much until about 6 months ago. At the time, I started eating dinner every week with his guy friends. Later, their girlfriends (now fiances) starting coming.
  

quote:

ORIGINAL: stimulus

Ok, if the Clueless thread is based on me, I want to participate. The general question there is if men are clueless when it comes to reading women's signals. Specifically, I have this really good guy friend who I've developed an interest in. The question is whether he could realistically be clueless that I'm interested, despite all the time we spend together as friends and everything we talk about.

That said, I don't think my friend or myself are good prototypes to build any kind of relationship theory around. I've never been one of those who believed men and women think differently, because supposedly, I think like a man. If anything, in our relationship, I'm the entirely clueless one, waiting on him to slap me upside the head and say, "I really do like you as more than a friend" before I'll stop acting like I don't like him. Perhaps he's clueless too, unable to read me, but trust me, I am clueless.

To clarify a few things mentioned in the clueless thread:

• I've never, ever asked him out. Not even to something as friends.
  
• He asked me to dinner (alone) once, a week ago. But it's the same time and place we have gone for months every week with friends, and there was no clear indication it was a date
  
• I don't monopolize his time. He probably initiates 2/3 conversations and all the invitations, and he does at least as much talking as me. The friendship is honestly maintained by his initiative, not mine.
  
• I didn't put him in some kind of friend "ghetto" to start with. We just were casual friends through church for years, but we didn't hang out this much until about 6 months ago. At the time, I started eating dinner every week with his guy friends. Later, their girlfriends (now fiances) starting coming.
  

To sum it up, I'm definitely not a 90mph fastball in his catcher mitt. So, if a girl always accepted your invitations to group activities, listened to you talk about anything and everything at length, talked to you about her problems\dreams\opinions, laughed at your jokes and unreservedly enjoyed your company... would you know she liked you? What if she never sat with you at church or beside you at restaurants? Never invited you to a casual event with other friends? Never called you? Never touched you?

Like I said, I think I'm the clueless one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stimulus
To sum it up, I'm definitely not a 90mph fastball in his catcher mitt. So, if a girl always accepted your invitations to group activities, listened to you talk about anything and everything at length, talked to you about her problems\dreams\opinions, laughed at your jokes and unreservedly enjoyed your company... would you know she liked you? What if she never sat with you at church or beside you at restaurants? Never invited you to a casual event with other friends? Never called you? Never touched you?

Like I said, I think I'm the clueless one.