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I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/3/2008 2:55:05 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 1571
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: offline
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Being single, this folder should be my home base as it is for some of you, but honestly, I often feel more at home in Women only, homeschool support, public and private school support, Morality and Ethics, home and garden, television and radio, and parenting than in here.
It seems like a lot of times (well 2 anyway) my post and my thread got totally jumped on, almost like I was being attacked. And both times, I was trying to be positive.
Plus some threads have so many pages, I feel overwhelmed and not sure where to start. This is probably a lot in my own silly imagination, but I'm not just saying this to complain, it's more like I really want to belong here, but I am not sure how, and I guess I just want some help figuring this out.
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/3/2008 5:55:22 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 13088
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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Rebekah, you belong here. All Singles belong here. I can't say what happened with your posts - please remember that not everyone is going to have your same opinion - and keep an open mind in that respect.
Regarding the threads - just come on in and try to join in - I think one problem is that you're not around all that often, so coming in DOES feel overwhelming. I wasn't on much during my time away for Brain Bowl last week, and *I* was overwhelmed coming back to see all the posts. Just find those threads that are of interest to you and read them. Don't try to read everything. That's too daunting of a task.
The only way we get to know you is for you to post - and not just "drive-by" posts. Stay around for a while and interact after making your posts. That's how we get to know you and for you to get to know us. It's interactive. It's also like going to the gym - going once a week for a few minutes isn't going to do anything.
The Chat thread is just that - for chatting.....obviously last month was insanely "chatty", but that's not common.
I hope that helps - a bit. If you haven't already introduced yourself in that thread, please do so!
I guess I say all this to tell you that you ARE welcomed here and we do want you to stay around for a while.....okay?
< Message edited by mutinywxgirl -- 4/3/2008 6:03:52 AM >
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/3/2008 7:25:07 AM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 7151
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
Being single, this folder should be my home base as it is for some of you, but honestly, I often feel more at home in Women only, homeschool support, public and private school support, Morality and Ethics, home and garden, television and radio, and parenting than in here.
It seems like a lot of times (well 2 anyway) my post and my thread got totally jumped on, almost like I was being attacked. And both times, I was trying to be positive.
Plus some threads have so many pages, I feel overwhelmed and not sure where to start. This is probably a lot in my own silly imagination, but I'm not just saying this to complain, it's more like I really want to belong here, but I am not sure how, and I guess I just want some help figuring this out.
Very few people who post like anything I ever have to say. But there are many lurkers and I get a lot of PMs thanking me for posting what I do. I think it's important for all of us to bring our different perspectives to the table. Otherwise, those who think like us but are only lurking feel that they are the only ones who think/feel the way they do.
I don't keep up with a lot of the threads. Many of them don't interest me, move too fast for me to keep up with or I have nothing worthwhile to contribute but I stick around for those times when I do feel compelled to reply.
Hang in there! 
edited to add ~ there are some folks all over the forums who just like to nit-pick and find fault with anything anyone posts. Just ignore them. 
< Message edited by CoeurdeLeon -- 4/3/2008 7:32:52 AM >
_____________________________
When I have a little money I buy Books.
If any left over I buy food and clothes.
Erasmus
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/3/2008 11:17:03 AM
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John_O
Posts: 6951
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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Welcome (again) OOHJ!
If you feel welcome in Morality and ethics then you should be more than able to handle any grief anyone here could give you.  (If someone says something that really sticks in your craw call them on it. Ususally it's just a misunderstanding and easily fixed)
We are like a family here, a large family that picks on each other endlessly. Dive right on in.
There is always someone to lean on when you need to, and if you really feel like a good in depth discussion or argument I'm normally here daily.
Like any family it takes a new member a little time to settle in. Read the threads, post a lot and we'll all get to know each other.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/3/2008 11:49:16 AM
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ladioffaith
Posts: 2848
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: NE Ohio (L.A. . . Lower Akron)
Status: online
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Rebecca, you are welcome here!
There are many kinds of singles, and this forum is for all of them.
Also, here we have MANY folders, as you have seen. If you feel comfortable in them, please jump in ... they are wonderful places!
Not every folder is for everybody. I do not belong in home schooling or parenting because I have no kids, I generally feel like women's is for women with kids and husbands (it isn't but let's face it ... that's who most of the people there are) and I won't touch News and Paranoia (Ooops ... current events) with a 100 foot pole!
If you feel personally attacked, PM me with details.
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with
his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/3/2008 11:56:35 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 2381
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: online
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sorry you've been attacked in the past but welcome again ... i too get turned off by the big threads that have already started or the chat threads as there's so much to keep up on. i generally look for new threads or ones with only a page or two and if interesting subscribe to them so i can follow them and see if ppl replied to me or see what is going on.
< Message edited by iwillfearnoevil -- 4/3/2008 12:02:38 PM >
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/3/2008 12:11:24 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6951
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ladioffaith
I won't touch News and Paranoia (Ooops ... current events) with a 100 foot pole!
I touch current events and I'm only a six foot Pole!
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/5/2008 10:10:04 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 843
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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I, too, feel like that at times, but it may have something to do with my personality. I don't know how to socialize online and I'm lost when it comes to online lingo. I also don't know how to do those little smiley thingies so I appear so serious all the time which I'm not in person. But I frequent various areas, like the faith forums, or the science and religion, God, doctrine, morality and ethics, and relationship forums as well. All in all, it's all good.
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/5/2008 10:23:31 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 1571
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: offline
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quote:
I also don't know how to do those little smiley thingies
Just click on the spot on the reply box and then click one of the smilies to the left. I you want more options, just click where it says more smileys, and click on a smiley there.
I used to be lost to online lingo to, but I started just deducting a lot of it due to context. Here are some common lingos and their meanings.
dh-dear husband, dw-dear wife dd-dear daughter, ds-dear son, LOL-laughing out loud, ROFLOL-Rolling on the floor laughing out loud, I THINK kwim, means Catch what I mean?, but I'm not sure, that's how I use it anyway. You'd think it would be a c, not a k, though. FWIW-for what it's worth. I hope that helps.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 4/5/2008 10:31:03 PM >
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/5/2008 11:29:53 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3136
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: The Hundred Acre Wood
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
I also don't know how to do those little smiley thingies
Just click on the spot on the reply box and then click one of the smilies to the left. I you want more options, just click where it says more smileys, and click on a smiley there.
I used to be lost to online lingo to, but I started just deducting a lot of it due to context. Here are some common lingos and their meanings.
dh-dear husband, dw-dear wife dd-dear daughter, ds-dear son, LOL-laughing out loud, ROFLOL-Rolling on the floor laughing out loud, I THINK kwim, means Catch what I mean?, but I'm not sure, that's how I use it anyway. You'd think it would be a c, not a k, though. FWIW-for what it's worth. I hope that helps.
kwim=Know what I mean.
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Nadine
"It's like every thing good collided today" quote from my 8yr old daughter
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/5/2008 11:32:04 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 1571
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: offline
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quote:
kwim=Know what I mean.
OK, now it makes sense.
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/6/2008 4:23:53 PM
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sunluvingirl
Posts: 1408
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline
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Welcome OOHJ!!! Its great to have you here! I certainly don't have any big advice for you but to say simply be yourself, you don't need to 'fit in'. I am sure you have your own flavor you can contribute! I have found these forums to be a lot of fun, sure, half the time there are discussions going on about things I know nothing about or maybe even don't care too but often the opposite is just as true. I do not read everything but just what gets my interest. Most times I just lurk till I see something I can post about. Usually the first thing I do is go to my forums page. It helps alot if you subscribe to the threads that interest you so you can keep up with the discussion or whatever it may be. As for starting threads, I've never done much of that, I certainly never managed to start one that went on for pages & pages!!
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"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/7/2008 12:58:26 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 5060
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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Welcome to the singles forum! *huggles* I know this is probably a little late but I have a GREAT excuse seeing as how I was on vacation for a week. *grin*
The threads can be very daunting if you plan on reading every single post, but generally you can skim the last few pages and see what's going on. Or you can just jump right in (like I have a tendency to do) and just start where you want. Either is fine.
There are people you will connect with immediately and people you just wish you could choke. Both reactions are quite normal. Just go in with an open mind, willing attitude and see where the winds take you.
I can't wait to get to know you better! *beams*
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 12:41:46 AM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26941
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
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Rebekah (and/or anyone who cares) . . .
Quite often I'm not quite sure I belong in this folder, neither.
For me, one of the reasons is that it seems that the vast majority of threads here either start off being about dating, flirting, finding a spouse - or they eventually find their way to those topics.
Before people decide to take offense at that, please don't; it's not meant to be derogatory; I'm simply sharing a bit about me (in a roundabout way by sharing who I am not).
Every so often, over the past several months, a few people have asked me why I didn't post in Singles anymore. To nutshell it, my identity is not wrapped up in being single. Being single is an aspect of who I am; nothing more. I could say the same thing for being over 40, white and female. I am a single white female from the end of the baby boomer generation; but that doesn't mean that I necessarily want to isolate and focus on any of those aspects (that same logic can be applied as to why I don't do a lot of posting over in Women's . . . I'm not a wife, I'm not a parent, I'm not pregnant, I'm not into shopping, etc. etc.)
I like people. Men, women, young, old, married, single, black, white, red, yellow, purple. That's my focus; people in general. 
(It's also one of the reasons why I'm drawn to chat threads that draw a mixed group of people.)
Having said that, I do realize that the Singles folder is going to attract many single people who are interesting in dating, flirting, finding a spouse, etc. That's certainly all fine and good. But, for me,, sometimes it just gets a bit weary for all (or most) threads to eventurally merge into one or more of those aspects. For what it's worth, it's not specifically these threads; I would feel the same way if I was getting together with offline friends and the topic always found its way to singleness.
However, there are also people here who I consider my friends who I don't see anywhere else on the forums.
I'm really loving the Cooking for One thread! People. Food. Great combination! 
It's 12:45am and I've been cruising the threads for a few hours.
Truly, this post is not meant to be inflammatory at all. I'm just simply thinking out loud about a few things in a thread whose OP somewhat matches my thoughts.
Many blessings, y'all!
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Crazy Toy Lady
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 7:51:18 AM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 5060
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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To be honest, Sharon Marie, I consider myself to be much more than single. I don't participate in the singles Bible Fellowship at my church, I don't do a lot of things that the 'singles' there do.
However, the main reason I stick around is because IMO this has been the most inviting place on the forum. I don't have a lot in common with the women's thread; I'm not a 'quiver full' type of mum, I'm fairly liberal, and I don't mind buying things that aren't 'natural'. No offense to them, but it's hard to connect with people who are so different than you.
I'm not a theologically sound woman, I don't feel I can debate with the rest of them, and while I like to have fun and get silly with the rest of them, this is the only place who has invited me to do so.
So it's not 'all about being single' for some of us.
And no offense was taken. That's what's awesome about this place. We can all have opinions and not worry about trying to convince others that our opinion is the only one to have. *huggles*
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 8:11:33 AM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 7151
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: online
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In fairness, it's a requirement that ALL threads here be about being single. It's VERY limiting and there was quite a bit more variety before, inviting a lot of fun interaction that wasn't solely about dating, etc. but, hey, them's the rules and we gotta play by 'em.
_____________________________
When I have a little money I buy Books.
If any left over I buy food and clothes.
Erasmus
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 9:05:23 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 2381
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
In fairness, it's a requirement that ALL threads here be about being single. It's VERY limiting and there was quite a bit more variety before, inviting a lot of fun interaction that wasn't solely about dating, etc. but, hey, them's the rules and we gotta play by 'em.
yeah it's this rule that everyone talks about but i don't see posted anywhere. go into other folders in this People subforum like teens and Young Adult and they are filled with threads not having anything to do with teen or Young Adult specific posts. it's just a place for that type of people to hang out. not sure why CW is discriminating against singles.
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Amazin Cheesecake Poll
Photoblogging my life
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 9:27:26 AM
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John_O
Posts: 6951
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
not sure why CW is discriminating against singles.
And that, my friend, is the $64,000 question. But since we are guests in this place and the administrators are our hosts we must abide by their rules (and hope that they'll let it return to what it once was)
BTW, I also hang out here because it's more like home to me. While I don't identify as "single" I will admit that I am looking to meet people. The other forums I've been in here don't have nearly the sense of community that this one does. Of course I've not explored too much as this one suited my needs when I found it. Why go elsewhere when you have what you want at home.
< Message edited by John_O -- 4/23/2008 9:34:04 AM >
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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We'd definitely like you to stick around. 
If you need to vent about something said in here you can PM me though. I'm good for listening (or reading in this case).
