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If your spouse fell over dead tonight

 
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All Forums >> [Life] >> Marriage >> If your spouse fell over dead tonight
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[Poll]

If your spouse fell over dead tonight


We are set financially for disaster
  58% (53)
maybe my parents or in-laws could help.
  6% (6)
I would be sunk. I don't know what would happen.
  8% (8)
I would have to get aid from government or church or charity
  3% (3)
My spouse does not share our finances with me, so I don't know
  2% (2)
Other
  20% (19)


Total Votes : 91


(last vote on : 9/28/2008 1:56:42 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:19:05 PM   
bluestone


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From: United States of America
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What would youdo? Are you financially capable of taking care of death expenses, raising kids, paying mortgage or rent?

Are you well insured?

Would you be at the mercy of others?
Post #: 1
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:22:03 PM   
Mrs.Wifey


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From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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We are adequately prepared should disaster strike. We have a sufficient amount of life insurance- enough that I could buy a house and finish school(including living expenses). What I would probably do though is move back in with my parents so that there would be care for DD while I was in school. If DH were to croak in 2 years then I would be done with school and would put the life insurance money into investments.

This(estate planning, investments) is DH's line of work, so we have been set for awhile.

_____________________________

Post #: 2
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:25:48 PM   
bluestone


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Mrs. Wifey, I certainly hope he does not "croak"

We had a lady at my church killed in a car accident a while back...her DH is left with twins boys, under age two. I think financially they are ok, but emotionally, he is exhausted. His parents and in laws are helping with the kids.

_____________________________

I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
Post #: 3
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:26:42 PM   
manda59


Posts: 6052
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bluestone
What would youdo? Are you financially capable of taking care of death expenses, raising kids, paying mortgage or rent?


Our house is paid for, we own it outright. And savings, insurance policies and my husband's pension funds (they'd pay me a widow's pension) would take care of death/living expenses. I already work part-time and that would continue; I'd increase my hours if I needed to.

quote:


Would you be at the mercy of others?


No.

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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
Post #: 4
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:31:58 PM   
dianetavegia


Posts: 2031
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From: Southern Baptist, Non Calvinist, Pro Life Ga. girl
Status: offline
We have life insurance that would pay off the house and would supply income for quite a while.

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Post #: 5
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:35:06 PM   
Mrs.Wifey


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From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bluestone

Mrs. Wifey, I certainly hope he does not "croak"

We had a lady at my church killed in a car accident a while back...her DH is left with twins boys, under age two. I think financially they are ok, but emotionally, he is exhausted. His parents and in laws are helping with the kids.



we have some life insurance on me, but we do need to increase it to cover additional childcare and/or a housekeeper of some sort. MIL would certainly pitch in but I don't want all the household duties to fall on her.

_____________________________

Post #: 6
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:39:13 PM   
bluestone


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good idea, Mrs.Wifey. Many time the husband is insured well enough, but the wife is under insured.

Another thought: If the husband is soul provider, and dies, health insurance through the employer for the family ceases. Being prepared for healthcare is another serious and expensive issue.

_____________________________

I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
Post #: 7
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:40:20 PM   
all4aremine

 

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Joined: 7/24/2008
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My husband owns the house outright- it was his parent's home. All of our items that we are paying for right now have credit life insurance on them with our names on them. We have enough insurance to put the kids money up for college. I work full time and make enough money to support my kids and I by myself. If I was to die, my life insurance would be enough to cover burial expenses and have some left over. I am going to increase my life insurance as soon the next enrollment period happens which is next month to cover enough for him to live very comfortably. All my bills are paid for and he makes enough to support him and the kids financially without my pay.

As far as help with my 4 kids, well since 3 of the 4 are stepchildren- I would assume they would live with their mom's even though I know two of them want to live with me, but it is in my husband's will asking for me to have at least visitations with the two that he has custody of. My own son would stay with me or husband whichever died because he has been adopted by my husband.
Post #: 8
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:46:40 PM   
manda59


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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bluestone
Another thought: If the husband is soul provider, and dies, health insurance through the employer for the family ceases. Being prepared for healthcare is another serious and expensive issue.



Thankfully, here in the UK, we don't have to worry about that.

_____________________________

"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
Post #: 9
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:47:22 PM   
Mrs.Wifey


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From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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ALL4, does your husbands will specify that the house is to go to you? Having stuff hung up in probate courts can take ages...

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Post #: 10
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:49:15 PM   
landabee


Posts: 2852
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From: Central Florida
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I'm quite interested in reading the responses in this thread. I can say that I've learned some very hard lessons.

Bluestone, if this is off-topic, say so.

My spouse did not die. My marriage died.

And for all intents and purposes.........so did my means of financial survival. (please don't tell me about God. I know! No other way I'd have made it)

After years of marriage, and two babies I was ill prepared to support myself due to the poor choices that I made.

I chose to discontinue my education. I chose to not work outside of the home. I chose to not continue to acquire marketable skills.

Why I chose is a moot point.

What was reality, though was this:

I had no marketable skills, only a high school diploma and a weak and inconsistent work history.

I had two babies and an ex that I was not receiving support from. One, because he was angry.... and two, because he didn't actually know where I was. (long story)

So the next 10 years were spent clawing and struggling to survive. I depended on food stamps, AFDC and assisted child care. But they ran out as soon as I finished a 10 month training and earned $5.30/hr. That was 1991.

I lived in a variety of run down apartments in dangerous areas. My kids were underinsured. ($1500 deductible on EACH)

I finally got off the bus and owned a series of "hoopties" that were tempermental.

Food? Always in short supply. God was gracious, though. Family and friends stood in the gap. BeckeyZ and her mom fed me and the boys on multiple occassions.

I could go on and on.

Let's just say: "It's been a hard 18 years"

What I have learned:

1) Depend on God

2) Get a marketable skill

If I ever marry again. I may again stay home. I don't know. But I do know that I'll stay prepared in case of his injury or worse.

I know this rambled. Sorry.

_____________________________



"Sound theology discourages ignorance instead of promoting it." ~ CourdeLeon
Post #: 11
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 4:54:38 PM   
catlady11

 

Posts: 56
Joined: 4/18/2005
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As of now I am worth more dead than alive (thanks to great benefits from my job).
Post #: 12
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 5:05:27 PM   
Mrs.Wifey


Posts: 5088
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From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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quote:

What I have learned:

1) Depend on God

2) Get a marketable skill


Absolutely! I think a very large number of SAHM's fail to prepare for divorce or a spouse's death. We just assume that God will provide, but there is a lot to be said for having a degree or something to fall back on... I would not be very prepared right now, but I haven't been out of the job market for very long and I am halfway done with school.

_____________________________

Post #: 13
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 5:05:46 PM   
Bagel


Posts: 314
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Oregon
Status: offline
As things stand right now, if he were to suddenly die, he has life insurance through his work that would cover an inexpensive funeral. The house would go to me but I'd probably have to sell it and move into a small apartment with my two kids. I would need to get a job, after having been a SAHM since my 12yo was born. And most likely, the kids would have to go to school, after being homeschooled all of their lives. So, life would definitely change drastically for us.

_____________________________

Bagel Lisa
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Post #: 14
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 5:32:01 PM   
shadowspring


Posts: 1611
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: online
We have enough life insurance to help pay for my retraining to return to work and to pay catastrophic health on the family. It would also cover our children's college education. The worse that would happen is that I would have to stop homeschooling and go back to school/work so I could provide for myself while the kids were in college/high school.

But we are a close family, and I know my kids and I would pull together to make it.

When they were younger, we carried more (term) insurance so I could stay home and home school at least until high school. It was just that important. Now my youngest is in 9th grade, and our current term insurance will end when he graduates from college.

Then we'll see! Dear husband will be 58 then, so I am guessing a new term will be too pricey for more than burial costs.

But I do believe the Lord will provide for me. I don't know how that might happen, but if I ever need to know, He will surely lead me to the right place.

_____________________________

"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
Post #: 15
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 5:46:02 PM   
karlie


Posts: 16961
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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We are very well insured. I could live very comfortably and debt free for about 10 years if I never worked a day. I'd be finished with my current schooling and working well before the insurance money was close to being used up.

We took out enough insurance many years ago so that if anything happened to my husband, we'd have enough money to pay off all debt, and for me to still be able to stay home with the girls until they were raised and on their own. We've never lowered that coverage even though the girls are on their own now, so I'd be set for many years to come and be able to leave good chunks of money to my girls.

I'd rather keep my husband, though!


_____________________________

1 day of coal...364 days of fun. I'll take my chances!
Post #: 16
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 7:16:36 PM   
DreadPirateRandy


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If that were to happen, I would certainly care less about finances or whatever else, and be more in shock of what just happened.

It wouldn't surprise me if I were to fall over dead moments after.

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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
Post #: 17
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 7:51:45 PM   
ta_mosquito


Posts: 11512
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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I would be fine.

We have no children.

We have enough life insurance so that the mortgage would get paid for. Even if we didn't, we have enough in savings/investments that I COULD pay for the house outright.

Health insurance is covered (socialized medicine).

I take care of the bills now, so I'd be fine taking care of them in the future, too.

If he were to die any time in the near future (before children, definitely, or even if the children were preschool or younger elementary) I'd probably sell out here and move back home. I would have enough financially to be able to do that and to live until I found a job.

_____________________________

Tricia

"There's a fine line between being open-minded and empty-headed." ~Michael Coren
Post #: 18
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 7:53:53 PM   
ta_mosquito


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From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy

If that were to happen, I would certainly care less about finances or whatever else, and be more in shock of what just happened.

It wouldn't surprise me if I were to fall over dead moments after.


Immediately after, of course one would feel this way. But life has a way of intruding on the grief and shock - funeral arrangements need to be made almost immediately; children need to be cared for; bills still need to get paid.

Life has a cruel way of carrying on in spite of our desire for the world to stop and mourn with us.

_____________________________

Tricia

"There's a fine line between being open-minded and empty-headed." ~Michael Coren
Post #: 19
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 7:55:09 PM   
3cappuccinosmom


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although dh doesn't have life insurance, the way things are set up, we would not suffer financially. That is one of the reasons he is so bent on building his business, and keeping me in the loop with it as well. We are completely free of debt, so that would not be an issue.

I know my parents would take us right in. However, if that were the case, I would probably work some to pay rent and expenses for us anyway. There are several personal care companies who are always eager to hire people to do a 40 hour weekend (overnight stays) or I could work afternoon or midnight shifts to be home with my kiddos during the day. Being debt free, we could easily live on $1000/month, so if my parents helped with the childcare, I wouldn't actually have to work that much.

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Post #: 20
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 7:56:34 PM   
NotDoneYet


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I'd be fine if my husband were to die tomorrow...we have enough insurance to pay off the mortgage, and I make an adequate income to enable us to stay right where we are.

If I were to die tomorrow...again, there's enough insurance to pay off our home and my husband makes an adequate income to enable him and the girls to stay in our home.


NDY

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Post #: 21
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 8:06:58 PM   
Sideways


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quote:

ORIGINAL: bluestone

good idea, Mrs.Wifey. Many time the husband is insured well enough, but the wife is under insured.

Another thought: If the husband is soul provider, and dies, health insurance through the employer for the family ceases. Being prepared for healthcare is another serious and expensive issue.


We have an equal amount of insurance on both of us, enough to allow the survivor time to grieve, and then get back to the business of earning an income and raising the children. Our health care is through dH. I could probably get a decent job in engineering (I've maintained my professional license), and I've also thought of going back to school and becoming a teacher. I would have either option if dH were to die.

But I'd have to see what I'd need to do in the interim about health care insurance.

_____________________________

This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
Post #: 22
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 8:08:18 PM   
Mrs.Wifey


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Ruth, the private sector for health insurance is not that scary... We are getting ready to go that way right now. SO if your DH drops dead tonight just give me a call and I'll give you our brokers information

Just wanted to throw out there that life insurance is not that expensive, we pay about $20 a month for a very good amount of coverage.

_____________________________

Post #: 23
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 8:12:59 PM   
Sideways


Posts: 3722
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey
Ruth, the private sector for health insurance is not that scary... We are getting ready to go that way right now. SO if your DH drops dead tonight just give me a call and I'll give you our brokers information


That's good to know, but I still hope I don't have to call you!

dH got a taste of SAH life today. Nathan's nap was much to late, and now he doesn't want to go to sleep at his usual bedtime. But we're all here and healthy, so thank the Lord for that.

_____________________________

This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
Post #: 24
RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 8:16:30 PM   
bluestone


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Even a small amount of insurance helps, and it can be very affordable.

_____________________________

I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
Post #: 25
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