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Indoor Voices? - 11/12/2008 9:21:42 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3943
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Do you folks allow your kids to squeal/screech/scream or in general make loud, high pitched noises indoors? I personally cannot stand it; it is like nails on a chalkboard to me. My son is 19 months and when he starts to get to loud he puts a finger to his own lips and shushes himself. A shush is my first warning to him before I get nastier, so he's picked up on it.
At library storytime we were all having a free play time at the end, so kids and adults were free to talk. One boy about 3 or 4 started really screeching loudly and very high pitched. It was so loud and went on for so long that several children, including my own, were starting to get upset by it. After a few minutes I got so irritated that I turned to a friend and said "That's why I teach my son indoor voice." Apparently the mom was nearby because a few seconds later she quieted him. So, apparently he was fully capable of being quiet, the mom had just gone deaf or expected that everyone else was deaf.
What do you guys think? Should little ones be allowed to screech and squeal as loud as they want when they are playing indoors?
ETA: I should all that the storytime was held in a multi-purpose room, apart from the main library where people were reading and studying.
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RE: Indoor Voices? - 11/12/2008 9:36:36 PM
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stampinlady
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Yes, they can be trained to use indoor voices and should be. I have heard my share of screaming children working retail and it does get on my last nerve at times.
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"You don't need a New Year's Resolution, you need a Resurection! Dr. Tony Evans
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RE: Indoor Voices? - 11/12/2008 10:40:29 PM
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BeeLuvsAva
Posts: 1237
Joined: 10/23/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
Do you folks allow your kids to squeal/screech/scream or in general make loud, high pitched noises indoors? I personally cannot stand it; it is like nails on a chalkboard to me. My son is 19 months and when he starts to get to loud he puts a finger to his own lips and shushes himself. A shush is my first warning to him before I get nastier, so he's picked up on it.
At library storytime we were all having a free play time at the end, so kids and adults were free to talk. One boy about 3 or 4 started really screeching loudly and very high pitched. It was so loud and went on for so long that several children, including my own, were starting to get upset by it. After a few minutes I got so irritated that I turned to a friend and said "That's why I teach my son indoor voice." Apparently the mom was nearby because a few seconds later she quieted him. So, apparently he was fully capable of being quiet, the mom had just gone deaf or expected that everyone else was deaf.
What do you guys think? Should little ones be allowed to screech and squeal as loud as they want when they are playing indoors?
ETA: I should all that the storytime was held in a multi-purpose room, apart from the main library where people were reading and studying.
well I have no experience in this, because my daughter is only a month old, but I when I was raised, if I wanted to scream and run around that is what the great outdoors was for :D
I think to a extent I would allow my child to get a little loud just because the fact that they kids, but when we are out she will be taught to be respect full of other peoples ears 
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RE: Indoor Voices? - 11/12/2008 11:39:06 PM
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Focusing
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Indoor voices are a very GOOD thing!!
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RE: Indoor Voices? - 11/13/2008 10:53:04 AM
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pbaribeault
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quote:
Should little ones be allowed to screech and squeal as loud as they want when they are playing indoors? My little ones will be trained by me according to my priorities, and yes, I value reasonably quiet self expression when the situation calls for it.
However, I would never presume to answer a question about what all little ones should or shouldn't be allowed to do. Unless a place (like a library, obviously) has some rules about noise level, whether or not a parent chooses to focus on their child's volume level, or if they are focusing for that month on some other area of their conduct, or if they define volume by activity (play) whether indoors or out, or if they simply don't believe that children should be shushed at all, ever, or if they don't want to bother just now -- that's not my business.
In public places, lots of things bother me. Construction is loud, chlorine smell gives me a headache, the hot deli at Safeway has a smell fit to make me throw up even when I'm not pregnant, people smoke outside the doors to the mall, people cut in lines, peek in change rooms, leave their wet paper towels on bathroom counter tops, and their empty food wrappers at tables in the food court... Rude behaviour bothers me, but it's not up to me to manage other people's lives or behaviour. If I can tolerate construction, I can tolerate shrieking. Other people have a right to raise loud kids if they want to, and people who are poor parents have just as much right to public space as I do.
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RE: Indoor Voices? - 11/13/2008 11:54:25 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 3943
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pbaribeault
Other people have a right to raise loud kids if they want to, and people who are poor parents have just as much right to public space as I do.
Even to the extent that their child is physically painful to listen to and causes other children distress? I don't think so.
Some of your examples like construction or chlorine can't really be helped. Others like people smoking close to an entrance can be helped and should be.
If I'd known who the mom was I would've spoken to her directly. She doesn't have the right to drive other people out of storytime with her brat of a child.
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RE: Indoor Voices? - 11/13/2008 12:17:52 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 8767
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quote:
What do you guys think? Should little ones be allowed to screech and squeal as loud as they want when they are playing indoors?
depends on the indoor place and activity....an indoor play land (ie-McDonald's, BK, Chic-Fil-A, etc) I think it can be expected to have some loud screeching and playing...after all the purpose is to have fun and run off energy there.
There are also places inside that require just normal talking voices...at home, fast food type restaurants (or I should say, "family style" restaurants I guess), when in a store, etc. There's no need to yell, but having a normal level of conversation is appropriate.
Then there are places (both inside and out) that require a more quiet approach....a walk through garden where people may be just relaxing and enjoying nature, a library, a book store, a sit down fancier restaurant, etc.
I think it is important to teach kids early on what appropriate behavior is...whether in their voice or in their actions. I also think it is important to expose them to those types of environments so that they get hands on experience. However I also feel that there is an appropriate time to do that exposure. For example, a weekday lunch would be a great time to go experience a sit down fancy restaurant...on saturday night when most there will be on dates and getting away from their own kids, probably not the best time to teach them that lesson.
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RE: Indoor Voices? - 11/13/2008 12:45:16 PM
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ladyingrace1979
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From: Fresno CA
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I think that it is obvious that children need to be taught proper behavior for the setting. That would include using an indoor voice in a quiet environment, not hitting, saying please and thank you. It's called courtesy and it makes the world a whole lot more pleasant. This training starts as soon as they are able to understand the concepts, and also need to be modeled by the parents.
There are some cases in which the child really can't help themselves. Some childhood disabilities such as autism, the child is unable to control themselves. We were in the doctor's office yesterday and a little girl with downs syndrome was getting a little loud. The mom quieted her but she would forget and need to be quited again. She was about 6, so I assumed that the disability was making it harder for the mom. She apologized and I told her not to worry about it. I knew she was trying and her daughter was too.
Kim Q
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RE: Indoor Voices? - 11/13/2008 12:58:07 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3943
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
However I also feel that there is an appropriate time to do that exposure. For example, a weekday lunch would be a great time to go experience a sit down fancy restaurant...on saturday night when most there will be on dates and getting away from their own kids, probably not the best time to teach them that lesson.
That made me smile, Sarah, and it's also a very wise idea. I like it. dH and I were at an early dinner at a medium-level restaurant, and there was a family of 3 or 4 school age children. We could hear them talking quietly, the parents urging the kids to try new foods (Thai), and instructing them as needed. I made a point to complement the parents on their family when they got up to leave.
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RE: Indoor Voices? - 11/14/2008 9:53:47 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5151
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I don't like loud inside voices, either. If it's nice out, I'll send them outside if they are being loud, if it's not a good day to play outside I'll send them downstairs.
I think it's easy to get to the point where you can tune out your kids' noise and not realize how loud they are being, though. Every now and then I'll see parents that seem to have gone deaf, but overall I think most parents are pretty conscious about whether or not their children are disturbing others.
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RE: Indoor Voices? - 11/14/2008 11:37:50 AM
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crankius
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We called it the "bookstore voice".
We go to our local bookstore A LOT, so when we had kids, we brought them with us and taught them to be quiet.
In the OP, my guess is that the other mom was just oblivious to the loud voice of her own child--she most likely had tuned it out.
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Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
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