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Intimidated? Scared? - 5/20/2008 3:51:53 PM
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LaLuz76
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This is my first post/question, so here goes. I have a question for single men. Do spiritually strong women scare/intimidate you? By strong I mean women walking in their calling and gifts effectively, not loud, belligerent women. If so why?
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/20/2008 6:10:05 PM
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1mlasp
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I respectfully disagree. I don't see this as the same issue - the other question was "Are guys threatened by intelligent and strong minded women?"
One can be spiritually strong and not overly intelligent. Jesus didn't come for just the smart people.
As to LaLuz's question - - I would not be comfortable with someone who was not equally yoked with me, whether this means that she is a babe in Christ or walking in Christ way beyond what I am currently doing. As a friend, fine....as something more (which is, I think what you are asking?) I would be challenged by this woman to take a good look at myself and assess where I am, or even if I am going in the right direction before I even entertain the notion of spiritual headship/leadership.
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/20/2008 6:29:10 PM
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ChoirDJ
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Mr 1mlasp...you are not allowed to respectfully disagree with me on these forums sir  ...but I'll allow it this time (lol).
The two topics sounded very similar but then again, I see your point. I think unspiritual men are intimidated by spiritual women but spiritual men would want nothing less than a spiritual woman by his side.
< Message edited by ChoirDJ -- 5/20/2008 6:37:15 PM >
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/21/2008 8:55:30 AM
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LaLuz76
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Thanks 1mlasp, I appreciate your honesty. I did read the other topic fear, but it was somewhat different, although you can combine the two and ask if men are intimidated by intelligent, spiritually-strong women, which can be somewhat of a double-whammy for the ladies who fall into that category. ChoirDJ, I did post it in the singles first, but the topic was moved since I was asking for answers from men specifically.
I agree with not being equally yoked, but since single Christian women have such a limited pool of partner options, single, intelligent, spiritually strong women have an even smaller pool.
I have an other question to add. Do men prefer weak women? I'm asking in general, because it seems that men, quite naturally, want to be the knight in shining armour, but one needs a damsel in distress for that. What if the damsel isn't in distress?
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/21/2008 12:49:56 PM
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ChoirDJ
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I don't think we can say anything that would apply to all men here. Some men prefer weak women for the reason you mentioned before - the need to be the "knight in shining armor" and rescue the "damsel in distress". I was such a man because I was very immature emotionally at the time I got married. I did not have a good self-esteem so I bought into the lie that a "fixer-upper" was the best I could do. However, I've matured a lot over the years with God's help and I've come to terms with the messed up thinking that caused me to marry the person I did instead of waiting for an emotionally healthy person.
So this is my conclusion. Any man who is attracted to a damsel in distress has his own issues and is really not mature enough to be in a committed relationship. I am very content with where I am at but if God brings a suitable partner in my life then I would of course like to be married again.
edited to laugh at 1mlasp's comment btw.
< Message edited by ChoirDJ -- 5/21/2008 12:57:59 PM >
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/21/2008 11:49:22 PM
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humbleinspirit
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaLuz76
This is my first post/question, so here goes. I have a question for single men. Do spiritually strong women scare/intimidate you? By strong I mean women walking in their calling and gifts effectively, not loud, belligerent women. If so why?
Yes, but only because I am not secure my serving/giftings yet.
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/22/2008 12:35:51 AM
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figmentPez
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I'm wary of women who think (or pretend) they're spiritually strong but show signs that they don't have it as together as they think/pretend. Signs include:
- Dismissing "doctrine" as a four-letter word.
- Holier-than-thou attitude
- Too much focus on feeling a spiritual high, with religion that falls apart when mixed with other emotions (i.e. able to "rejoice with those who rejoice" but unable to "Weep with those who weep" Romans 12:15)
- Confusing being active in a church with actually following Christ
- Cares more about what people know about her, than about what she knows about God.
- Believes that health and prosperity are proof of a person's faith
You can spend hours in prayer, and talk all the time about "gee-zuhs this" and "gee-zuhs that", but still have any of these problems.
Now, as to women who actually do have their act together spiritually... Well, I don't have my act together right now, so I'm not sure I'm able to render a useful opinion on that matter.
_____________________________
I make this challenge to all Christians:
Read Daniel 7:13-14
And tell me: Who do you say that the Son of Man is?
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/22/2008 9:00:45 AM
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LaLuz76
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Well, Pez, thanks for your input. As far as people who have a form of godliness but deny the power thereof, I don't think those folks intimidate anyone other than babes or underdeveloped Christians. Although you feel that you don't have your act together, I'm sure you still have an opinion. If you think about it, none of us are completely "together." From experience, once God delivers me from one thing or issue, He never fails to reveal another area of my life that needs work. That's why we go from glory to glory. We develop, we grow.
Humbleinspirit, I get what you're saying, and at times I have felt insecure about who I am in Christ, my calling and gifts, etc., but I'm in a place where I am confident in what God has spoken to me and who He says I am, but to be honest, at times I still wonder if He has the right girl! Stay humble, but stay open.
Thanks for all the input; I've received some gems to ponder.
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/22/2008 10:44:03 PM
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NewChristian1
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From: Sudbury, Ontario, Canada
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quote:
Do spiritually strong women scare/intimidate you? By strong I mean women walking in their calling and gifts effectively, not loud, belligerent women. If so why?
I have been a Christian for just less than four years, so absolutely not. The more I learn, the better. Actually, I am more attracted to spiritually strong women than those of "lesser spiritual maturity."
Perhaps that's just me. I'm an oddball. Otherwise known as an individual. :)
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/23/2008 10:38:24 AM
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DaveW
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When I was single every woman intimidated me........
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/23/2008 12:57:09 PM
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LaLuz76
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Well, not every woman Dave, otherwise you wouldn't have those beautiful children. NC1, oddballs are usually the ones worth watching.
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/23/2008 1:35:34 PM
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DaveW
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God had to speak to me in an audible voice to get me to even consider dating or marriage.
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Avatar is Saphira 5 months and Louvena at 23 months!
We are now grandparents TWICE!!
====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/24/2008 6:42:25 AM
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Single4Life
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I'm just curious as to what end the OP is seeking? Are you referring to simply interacting w/ them at church...planning a missions trip, recruiting volunteers, etc... Or are you wondering if single men would be afraid to date women who are active in using their spiritual gifts?
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/27/2008 8:59:05 AM
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LaLuz76
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S4Life, the second part of your last sentence was pretty much what I was referring to, but not just women who are active in their spiritual gifts, but strong women who flow in certain gifts. Just to illustrate, a woman can be walking in her spiritual gift of hospitality or administration, which are spiritual gifts in truth, but in practice they might not give men too much pause for concern when comparing gifts, which noone should do, but which many do anyway. Especially if determining compatibility and equal-yokenness are used in selecting a potential mate. A woman walking in those gifts will receive different responses from men than a woman who walks in prophecy, or interepretation of tongues, or even a woman who preaches which is more a calling than a spiritual gift. A couple of men already answered my question saying that they would be intimidated by a strong woman walking in their calling and gifts for various reasons, which is pretty much what I concluded, but I just wanted some clarification. But yes, I was specifically referring to single men and single women, but please add anything you think would be edifying.
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/28/2008 4:37:54 PM
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jn1010lf
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Hello LaLuz76
There are women that are genuine in their faith. But, I've known some that go off the deep end in being spiritual. Many of these ladies have squelched romantic involvement. I've seen some that hardly draw a natural breath; it's all highly spiritual.
In more cases than one, I've seen "super spiritual" women that are stabalized by a Christian man who walks with a firm foundation in the Lord.
A Pastor friend told me once that he could take most any sinners but cringed when he was confronted with a womm full of Charismatic women.
I may be generalizing here but I think women should be rather low key unless they have a husband that is strong in the Lord.
Call this male superiority, sexist, or whatever. But women alone in the church, without men in their lives, can be dangerous.
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 5/30/2008 5:50:01 PM
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LaLuz76
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jn1010lf
There are women that are genuine in their faith. But, I've known some that go off the deep end in being spiritual. Many of these ladies have squelched romantic involvement. I've seen some that hardly draw a natural breath; it's all highly spiritual. In more cases than one, I've seen "super spiritual" women that are stabalized by a Christian man who walks with a firm foundation in the Lord. A Pastor friend told me once that he could take most any sinners but cringed when he was confronted with a womm full of Charismatic women. I may be generalizing here but I think women should be rather low key unless they have a husband that is strong in the Lord. Call this male superiority, sexist, or whatever. But women alone in the church, without men in their lives, can be dangerous.
I hope I'm doing this quote thing right. Nyways, that's an interesting take. One could say men alone in the church are dangerous too. Sadly, in my experience, it's not the men that are alone who've been the hardest to deal with. It's been the married men, married preachers specifically that seem on the prowl and not too shy about it, but that's a whole other topic I don't even want to delve into.
Would you mind elaborating a bit on the "low-key" statement. What if a woman isn't married? Should she never seek the fulness of what God has for her until she has a husband to "stabilize" her? I may never get married and I'm certainly not waiting for a man to be in my life to receive God's fulness for me. If God will supply all of my needs, then if I needed a husband, I would have one right? I guess I don't need one yet.
I would love to meet an available man who is strong in the Lord and walking in his calling who could love me for who I am. I definitely don't want to "squelch" romantic involvement, but neither will I settle for someone who isn't willing to give their all to the Lord for any reason. Why would I want to connect myself with someone who isn't as committed to God as I am? How could I submit to someone like that? Even Paul told the church to follow him AS he followed Christ. I want a husband to follow, to respect, to trust enough to give all of myself to him. I won't settle for less and I won't put my life on hold and deny God's will for my life for that man to show up.
I don't know that I would label you a male chauvinist; however I would venture to say that being a man, it might be near impossible to understand what a saved woman who really wants nothing more than to fulfill God's will for her life has to go through in the church today and in the world. It's not easy, but the way is narrow. And I would much rather err on the side of caution and stay away from men who I know will not contribute to my spiritual well-being than make a mistake of involving my heart, my emotions, and my future for the sake of having a relationship.
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 6/3/2008 1:23:57 PM
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vajent
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Given the way the original question was worded, I would say 'no' (at least in my case). I'm not intimidated by women who exercise their gifts effectively. But to me, by definition, exercising gifts 'effectively' means they're not being cocky either about the gift itself, or their exercise of it. To exercise spiritual gifts effectively means constantly following God's direction and putting the glory of God and the edification of his people as the only goals in the picture - and this is something that isn't asked and answered once, but is in a constant state of evaluation. This means that our gifts are ultimately about God, not us. Exercising spiritual gifts effectively means never losing sight of that, and that should inevitably result in a John 3.30 kind of thing that shuns pride, ego, and a desire for attention.
Women who understand this are very attractive, because their commitment is obvious without being showy. That's not intimidating; it's appealing.
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http://jasonffoster.blogspot.com
Whatever the heart most desires, the mind justifies, and the will chooses.
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 6/3/2008 7:51:32 PM
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colliefan
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A woman who was walking in her "giftedness" would by no means intimidate me. I know I "belong in jail" and prison ministry is my calling. I would hope this calling wouldn't intimidate her.
_____________________________
The grace of God is infinite and eternal. As it had no beginning, so it can have no end, and being an attribute of God, it is as boundless as infinitude.
A. W. Tozer (1897–1963)
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RE: Intimidated? Scared? - 6/9/2008 4:28:14 PM
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U376977
Posts: 46
Joined: 2/24/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaLuz76
S4Life, the second part of your last sentence was pretty much what I was referring to, but not just women who are active in their spiritual gifts, but strong women who flow in certain gifts. Just to illustrate, a woman can be walking in her spiritual gift of hospitality or administration, which are spiritual gifts in truth, but in practice they might not give men too much pause for concern when comparing gifts, which noone should do, but which many do anyway. Especially if determining compatibility and equal-yokenness are used in selecting a potential mate. A woman walking in those gifts will receive different responses from men than a woman who walks in prophecy, or interepretation of tongues, or even a woman who preaches which is more a calling than a spiritual gift. A couple of men already answered my question saying that they would be intimidated by a strong woman walking in their calling and gifts for various reasons, which is pretty much what I concluded, but I just wanted some clarification. But yes, I was specifically referring to single men and single women, but please add anything you think would be edifying.
My short answer, No. My wife is a minister and prayer warrior. We work together well.
Please allow me one story>
I was just at a church convention. At a church convention there are many speakers and a normal church service has 3-5 "preachers." One ministers wife was asked to speak just before her husband was to be called. She ministered for about 15-20 min. and, in my opinion, out preached most of the men that went before her. Then she introduced her husband and she elevated him with words such as, "I would not be what I am without Christ and my husband", "I love my husband, he is a man of God", "my husbands love and passion for Christ has led many to the Lord." Point being, if a man supports his wife in ministry and she loves and supports him in the way that this woman minster did, there is little room for intimidation.
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