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Is It Temper Tantrum or just Angry Child - 9/5/2008 10:12:46 PM
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delete123
Posts: 969
Joined: 6/1/2005
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Hi All~
My son is 2 1/2 and has been have some real heavy duty angry outburst or maybe temper tantrums.
We just recently moved and I know many things have changed for him. He is a very outdoors child and I use to take him to the park or out by the pond near our home.
Since the move, I do not know the area, or if there are any local parks, plus the weather is funky. I took him on a walk and out of the clear blue a cloud burst and we got drenched, lol! (It happened twice)
Anyhow he has had a few of these ordeals and am not sure if I should be sympathizing or discipling.
Like today we took a ride, but we sat in the truck and he screamed from the top of his lungs, that people stopped and looked. He then in turns outlashes at me physically. Punching, knocking my glasses off my face, and then screaming again, tenses his body up in his carseat and yells, Momma No Momma! (You would think I was beating him, but I just sit there and look at him until he finishes.) Then I try to console him, to help him feel better.
I worry because he has never been this way and sometimes when we are at home, he exclaims Okay lets go home now. So is this just an adjustment he needs to go through? What can I do to help make this a positive thing for him?
Our new dwelling does not have a playground on the site and I had taken him to the river a few times, but when we happened to go during low tide I freaked when I discovered how deep it really is! So I really don't want to go near there.
He is an only child, so the only playmate he has is me.
Any suggestion?
Thanx
CRH
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RE: Is It Temper Tantrum or just Angry Child - 9/5/2008 10:19:19 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6273
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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Buy a couple umbrellas, get out the phone book, find your neighborhood in the map, and find a park.
At that age, there really isn't a difference between angry/unhappy and temper tantrum. You do need to work on 'using words' to express how he feels, but it's a process. So when he's unhappy, say, 'Oh, you are unhappy. Do you miss your favorite park? We are going to find a new park to play in...' and then do it. This is important to your child, so don't put it off. I know moving is stressful, but it's just as stressful to your little boy, or more so because he doesn't understand why you took him away from everything he knew.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Is It Temper Tantrum or just Angry Child - 9/6/2008 10:47:29 AM
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delete123
Posts: 969
Joined: 6/1/2005
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Jenny~
Thank you soo much!!! I never looked at it that way.
quote:
why you took him away from everything he knew
I will work on that this week and maybe see if I can get him in a class for an hour or two.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond
CRH
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RE: Is It Temper Tantrum or just Angry Child - 9/6/2008 11:38:01 AM
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March7
Posts: 404
Joined: 6/1/2008
From: Western US
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
Buy a couple umbrellas, get out the phone book, find your neighborhood in the map, and find a park.
At that age, there really isn't a difference between angry/unhappy and temper tantrum. You do need to work on 'using words' to express how he feels, but it's a process. So when he's unhappy, say, 'Oh, you are unhappy. Do you miss your favorite park? We are going to find a new park to play in...' and then do it. This is important to your child, so don't put it off. I know moving is stressful, but it's just as stressful to your little boy, or more so because he doesn't understand why you took him away from everything he knew.
Dear crh737, I agree with Jenny-Fair. If after a while your son still continues to have temper tantrums, then you will probably need to deal with them more firmly so that it doesn't become a behavior that lasts into his older years. When my teens were little, older parents I knew told me that when I was contemplating whether or not to discipline/untrain/redirect a certain behavior to ask myself, "What will this behavior look like at age 4, 6, 10? Will it work if/when my child has a sibling or two or around his/her friends?" and so on. My son had temper tantrums at age 4 (rather than 2). We'd had a big adjustment in our lives at that time, similar to yours, so I came alongside him to redirect him and such. That helped, because we do have to see the context of a situation. After a while, though, my son started his wild-n-crazy tantrums again and this time coming alongside him didn't help. I guess he saw it as a sort of tool for getting his way. So, once again I had the help of older parents. They told me to try one or both of these helps: (1) hold him very carefully but tightly so that he can't do any of the things he's trying to do and so the holding will calm him and do this as many times as necessary over the number of days it takes or (2) remove his audience (myself) from his presence. The holding didn't work at all for my son; it just made him crazier. However, because he's a very social boy (still is at 16  ), removing myself from his presence worked wonders! In doing this, I had to actually lock myself in my bedroom, because he'd follow me around the house. So, I locked myself in my bedroom, and just listened carefully to keep on top of his safety. He pounded on the door and lashed out in tears, crying at the top of his lungs, but he'd tire out after 30-45 minutes (stubborn little guy)...and the whole tantrum untraining process took no more than a week (maybe less). I never had any other tantrums from him (though there've been other different issues to train his heart in...and my heart). So, anyway, that was my experience, but I hope you don't have to do the extra training thing I had to do. Blessings!! 
_____________________________
"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy...before all time and now and forever. Amen" (Jude 1:24, ESV).
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RE: Is It Temper Tantrum or just Angry Child - 9/6/2008 2:31:07 PM
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Row1
Posts: 248
Joined: 12/2/2005
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my 2yo boy has to get outside to play, or at least walk.
this has been hard this summer, with the high heat and humidity - it melts us, although he can handle it for a while.
one thing is to let him play in the sprinkler in the back yard, as we sit in the shade (the back yard faces east, so by 1pm we have enuf shade to sit in). usually he gets dirty so bathtime afterwards.
i let my little guy play in the rain. bath afterwards.
playdates are very good, also - meet other parents at church, or anyone walking their 2yo in your neighborhood.
i think my wife is surprised at how energetic a boy is; the older child is a girl, who was active at 2yo, but not at the boy level - and our boy is by no means hyper - he is very sweet, etc., he is just very curious and active, and he needs to really get a workout at least every other day, or he starts this wandering-around-the-house-creating-trouble mode, with complaining, crying, fussiness. etc.
the same thing also happens if he doesn't see Dad for a couple days if I have been busy with work, and getting home past his bed time.
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RE: Is It Temper Tantrum or just Angry Child - 9/6/2008 3:24:31 PM
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creationtalk
Posts: 701
Joined: 6/9/2005
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crh,
I agree with getting your son outside as much as possible. If he's anything like my son, if he isn't outside moving around A LOT, then he gets very tense--he feels like his stomach is tied in knots and he doesn't know why. It may be that instead of an "angry" child, you have a frustrated and frightened (or hurting) child, who is reacting to these feelings by acting angry
With the move everything has changed--if you are still getting settled, you may be spending less time interacting with him. He won't understand why, just that you aren't there for him as much as he's used to.
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RE: Is It Temper Tantrum or just Angry Child - 9/6/2008 3:26:39 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6273
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
Status: offline
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If you haven't already, it would probably be helpful to establish a daily routine.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Is It Temper Tantrum or just Angry Child - 9/7/2008 11:18:49 AM
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Auben
Posts: 1615
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
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Establishing your new home as 'an adventure' and including him on the adventure of finding new parks may be fun for him. You can draw maps. He can pick a new direction every time. You can prepare a special snack for your adventure or wear special boots. You can bring a digital camera. You can march down one street. Hop down another. Look for bugs down the third. Pick up leaves on the fourth.
Even with rain it's relatively easy to get around with one child. Don't let something so simple stop you.
As for the tantrums, it's okay to be angry. It's okay to be upset. It's not okay to hurt people (with your hands or your voice). I tell our children that we're sorry they're so upset and when they're done they can come out and we'll play...and then I put them on their beds. If they come out screaming..I put them back in their bed. Repeat. Eventually they learn that they are their only audience and they modify their tantrum. It also lets them know that being angry/afraid/frustrated is okay but some of the things you do when you feel that way can hurt others. Frustrations are better taken out on a pillow then another human being. When he's done let him know that Mommy is always willing to talk about it, but at this age don't be surprised that he can't verbalize what he's feeling. Just leave the door open for when he's a few years older.
_____________________________
Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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