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Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 1:24:07 AM
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diego7979
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I am planning on getting married to a girl that I have known for 10 years. She believes in God but was “attacked” by a bible thumper in past relationship about her having to follow Christ no matter what. Not the best approach to helping to planting the seeds and having the Holy Spirit water and grow her faith. Because of this, she is sour to religion.
My brother is a very conservative youth minister and he tells me that we should not marry unless she is a believer. I find that hard to swallow. He brings up “un evenly yoked” and passages from the Old Testament about marring with other tribes. (“So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him and commanded him: "Do not marry a Canaanite woman.” Genesis 28:1 “Shall we again break your commands and intermarry with the peoples who commit such detestable practices? Would you not be angry enough with us to destroy us, leaving us no remnant or survivor?” Ezra 9:14 “But if you turn away and ally yourselves with the survivors of these nations that remain among you and if you intermarry with them and associate with them, 13 then you may be sure that the LORD your God will no longer drive out these nations before you. Instead, they will become snares and traps for you, whips on your backs and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from this good land, which the LORD your God has given you.” Joshua 23:12 “King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh's daughter--Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. 2 They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, "You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods." Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. 3 He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. 4 As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been. 5 He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech the detestable god of the Ammonites. 6 So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the LORD; he did not follow the LORD completely, as David his father had done.” 1 Kings 11:14 “Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, 4 for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the LORD's anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.” Deuteronomy 7:3-4 “Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves, by marrying the daughter of a foreign god.” Malachi 2:11)
But I am trying to show her God’s love and Christ’s love through example. I have found these verses that support that it is right that I love her regardless.
Leviticus 19:18 - "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the lord"
But not just those of our people.
Leviticus 19:34 - "The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the Lord your God."
So if they are not from our background, we still love them. Same theme in Deuteronomy...
Deuteronomy 10:19 - "Any you are to love those who are aliens, for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt."
Then Jesus reaffirmed what God had told us as the second most important commandment.
Mark 12:31 - "The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself There is no commandment greater than these."
Jesus even gave a new commandment about love.
John 13:34 - "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you much love one another."
And in Romans we are told that all commandments amount to one thing, Love!
Romans 13:8-9 "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another. For he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandments there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
In fact, Love is greater than faith!
1 Corinthians 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
So where does that leave us? I LOVE my fiancé. I have said this; I will say this now and I will say this for the rest of my days. She is not trying to draw me away from Christ. She goes to church with me. So I don’t know what to do.
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 2:52:18 AM
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SR20FL
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quote:
ORIGINAL: diego7979
My brother is a very conservative youth minister and he tells me that we should not marry unless she is a believer. I find that hard to swallow. He brings up “un evenly yoked” and passages from the Old Testament about marring with other tribes.
Man, it sounds like you've got your mind made up. This topic has been brought up so many times. Believe me, you're not alone :). I don't think words are going to really change your mind. You are going to get the same answer here that you did from your brother. You have a free will; it's your call on what you want to do. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. If it doesn't, you learn from mistakes anyways. Keep praying about the situation and God will work something out.
Being "unequally yoked" is not just something that God doesn't want for us, but it's sort of a general rule among "atheists" as well. Let's just say I'm not a Christian. Maybe this would make more sense to non-Christians on this board. If I weren't a Christian, I wouldn't marry a Christian. LOVE is unconditional, but it can also be blind. Our lifestyles (NOT personalities) and views would be so different it just wouldn't work in the long run, you know what I mean?
< Message edited by SR20FL -- 10/19/2008 3:00:23 AM >
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 8:11:46 AM
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MC4JC
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Before you go any further in wedding plans, PLEASE consider attending a pre-marriage counseling/course together and find out if you really should be married.
While you love each other, if you don't see eye to eye on things, you can have many problems in your marriage. Seek God's direction for your marriage.
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 8:18:57 AM
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zoebob
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The verses you bring up about loving others do not talk about romantic love. Of course you can continue to love her and minister to her but that doesn't mean you should marry her. You will encounter so many problems if you do. It may start with "oh please just stay home with me this Sunday morning" or the kids saying "Mommy doesn't go to church why should we" or "Mommy says that the Bible isn't really true" etc.
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L-R: Ellies DD1, Ellies DD2, DS, Ellies DS3
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 9:01:46 AM
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creationtalk
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I agree that you should not marry someone who has not accepted Christ as savior.
However, I'm going to put it another way. Suppose that you marry this woman, grow to love her more, have children with her. She continues to refuse Christ and your children follow her lead. Now you are at the end of your life, ready to pass into eternity knowing that your wife and children will not join you there. Or she has died never accepting Christ and you know that the separation is eternal and you know that she will suffer eternally in hell. I know the agony of having someone I love pass on when I did not believe they had accepted Christ. Believe me, you do NOT want to experience it. It would be even worse if it were my child.
God's prohibition against marrying an unbeliever is for your benefit and protection, not to harm you. It is kind of like being on a cliff trying to climb up, and tying yourself to someone who is trying to climb down. You will continually be pulling against one another...and guess which way you are both more likely to end up going? Not the way that you want to go.
I do not doubt that your gf is a wonderful person, that you love her and that she loves you. Wonderful people do not go to heaven. SOMETIMES unsaved people are saved because of their spouse. That is not the usual.
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 10:30:00 AM
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manda59
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So, if you marry, will she come to church/Bible Studies etc with you, or will you have to go on your own? If it's the latter, if you have children, will they come to church with you or stay home with her?
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"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 1:45:04 PM
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rofaith
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Nothing like a testimony to crystallize the issue. I have a friend that actually led me back to a relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ by encouraging me to attend church and small groups. A solid Christian man. He led a small group on Monday Am's before work for men. About 10 years ago, he married a woman he loved who was an unbeliever. She seemed amazingly receptive to the Gospel and believed there was a God but wasn't sure about Jesus Christ. I guess some would call her a deist which your girlfriend/fiance' sounds like. Anyway, they were married for a few years while the issue of her commitment to Jesus Christ and her opinions of Christianity, however incorrect, simmered and after having a baby, they attended a bible study small group. That's when things came apart. On two different occasions, my friend walked out, while the wife complained to the small group about this or that about him (money, child discipline, language, not a very nice christian etc, etc.) Bad move on the leader's part to allow that...BTW.
Anyway, a very ugly divorce ensued with my Christian friend begging her to reconsider and to think of their little one (about 3-4 years old at the time). She wouldn't have it, and led him through a very difficult time, where they lost the house, his net worth was lost, his monthly paycheck became a small fraction of what is was before, access to his little one was minimized which broke his heart. It broke him, literally. I remember being @ the court to be a character witness while we strategized outside and him just losing it and weeping as his heart was broken by this choice he had made and the woman he loved.
I am not sure why he married her.... but in overhearing conversation as we moved through the process, it seemed he thought he could convince her to become a Christian. She "seemed" receptive to the Christian message @ the time. He wanted essentially to change her, even to rescue her/save her... He had a huge blind spot during the courtship that was caused by his desire for her and because his heart was so tender, the deep romantic love he had for her. All of it changed him hugely. Justifiably, he's angry, bitter and heartbroken at the loss of the life and dreams he had for his family. It's been about two years since the divorce and he's disappeared off of my radar. I've called and left messages, no replies. He's a wounded man now... it seems he will carry those bitter wounds for the balance of his life. God cares for him though and WILL recover him from this. He just has to walk out his journey.... pray for him. He's a precious man.
In the end, it was simply a complete difference in their respective moral centers. Completely different values that were hidden by the romantic love they shared during courtship.... There values were and remain completely out of sync, 180 degree's out of sync. It surfaced after marriage in their finances(credit cards, he wanted to give to Christian causes, tithe etc.), child discipline(she had bad experiences with parents when she was a little girl that allowed her to be completely passive/apathetic about child discipline)... and it goes on and on, issue by issue.
The Lord Jesus Christ calls us as broken people out of a broken world, filled with broken people. As we are called out, we are new creations, while at the same time we are becoming new creations. When you become married to another person, you become one with that person, some of it voluntarily, some of it involuntarily(that's been my experience). When you join a person who is a new creation and who is becoming a new creation, with another who is not newly created and has no idea what that means.... it doesn't work. It just plain, doesn't work.
It's inevitable that there will be conflict in EVERY issue of your life. Right down to her questions, as to why you have to read your bible so much every day(sounds like the "bible thumper" made the bible an issue for her). From your post the "bible thumper" statement actually sounds like a rejection issue for her. Impossible for you as a prospective husband or husband to overcome by the way. In fact, her resistance to the bible was probably the issue rather than the other person, although I am sensitive to what some people do from a legalistic point of view. As an aside, I have found that however unintentional, talking about the bible with someone who doesn't believe is often interpreted as "bible thumping". In fact, I have been accused of it just because I said I was a Christian... didn't ever recite a bible verse or even mention it.... I would speculate, that she is partially responsible for her beliefs about "bible thumping". It's an ugly pejorative.
Note, that this doesn't have anything to do with you being better than the other person or whatever, the two different sets of values just don't do well together, and never will. It just is what it is. You can't change her, save her, rescue her, convince her... all of that is up to her as a person in her one on one relationship with Jesus Christ. You can be a Christian friend, but a husband ? You are definitely asking for a personal emotional, financial and most importantly, spiritual disaster for your life. It is inevitable, like I said, it is what it is.
Walk away gently in love. This is about a decision that has eternal ramifications. For her and for you. The stakes are huge. So much so, that if and when you make the wrong choice by marrying her, it will be an issue for you to discuss with the Lord when you see Him face to face some day just like it will be with my friend. By marrying her, you may be enabling her unbelief. This is also about the unanticipated that you cannot see right now. It's not about your good intentions or what you would view as the purest of motivations(romantic love, 10 year friendship etc).
Again, walk away gently in love. Script what you are going to say and read it over and over again. Share it with a trusted friend. And, then being gentle, read it to her, or just recite it from memory. Remember, the Lord is present while you do this and will take care of her. God has someone better for you. His purpose is for you and your eventual helpmate to make a difference in this broken but beautiful world filled with broken people. Not to be so self absorbed with unbelief issues, that you cannot. There are broken people in this world who God has planned for you and your eventual believing helpmate to make a difference for with your witness and love..... Blessings.... praying for you.
< Message edited by rofaith -- 10/19/2008 1:51:40 PM >
_____________________________
There is no other name....
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 2:20:36 PM
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rofaith
Posts: 81
Joined: 1/17/2008
From: rofaith, a believer
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quote:
ORIGINAL: zoebob
The verses you bring up about loving others do not talk about romantic love. Of course you can continue to love her and minister to her but that doesn't mean you should marry her. You will encounter so many problems if you do. It may start with "oh please just stay home with me this Sunday morning" or the kids saying "Mommy doesn't go to church why should we" or "Mommy says that the Bible isn't really true" etc.
Wow... this is so dead-on right..... this will play itself out in real life just like this.....
_____________________________
There is no other name....
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 2:22:45 PM
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rofaith
Posts: 81
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From: rofaith, a believer
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quote:
SOMETIMES unsaved people are saved because of their spouse. That is not the usual.
Exactly correct... in fact, it is less than rare...
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There is no other name....
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 5:35:59 PM
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Hislittleone
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I agree with the other posters. The Bible instructs us not to marry unbelievers for a reason. It's for our own good. The verses you listed about love are not talking about a romantic type of love just as Zoebob said. Be careful in reading scripture that you listen to the Holy Spirit's leading.
If you go ahead and marry this girl I'm afraid that one day you will come to regret it greatly. The Bible says a lot about being unequally yoked.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
17"Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord.
We are supposed to love (NOT in a romantic way) the lost and be a witness to them but we aren't supposed to marry them.
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 5:42:34 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1944
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
God's prohibition against marrying an unbeliever is for your benefit and protection, not to harm you.
Bull's eye, Creationtalk!
And that verse isn't just a suggestion that God thought just sounded good - there are reasons for it. Look at it:
14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
17"Therefore come out from them
and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you."
18"I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
2 Cor. 6
Whoa! There's a whole bunch of reasons, and it all has to do with staying separate from unbelievers and staying in relationship with God. God says you can't have it both ways.
If you marry your unbelieving girlfriend, you are acknowledging that you have no relationship with God. This is not a small thing.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 7:47:35 PM
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jaimestarcross
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quote:
So where does that leave us? I LOVE my fiancé. I have said this; I will say this now and I will say this for the rest of my days. She is not trying to draw me away from Christ. She goes to church with me. So I don’t know what to do.
*I'm a little confused because you said she's sour on religion but she'll
go with you to church?
Continue as your are(stay single) and wait for the Holy Spirit
to draw her to accepting Christ as her own personal Savior.
You say you love her, then wait for her to come to
love the Lord and not hold what an overly zealous Christian did
to her in the past as the reason she's sour toward becoming a Christian.
She has to learn to forgive and until she learned how to forgive - be very hesitant in marrying someone whose unwilling to forgive.
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/19/2008 7:54:36 PM
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1love1God1way
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rofaith
quote:
SOMETIMES unsaved people are saved because of their spouse. That is not the usual.
Exactly correct... in fact, it is less than rare...
"Missionary dating" is a sin.
Marrying a non-believer is a sin.
Period.
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love.ben
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 1:58:16 AM
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Bagel
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From: Oregon
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I agree, don't marry her!
I married someone who had been a believer (when we married) and then over the years did a complete about face, and his values have completely changed. It's hard to raise my kids to believe in Jesus when their father doesn't, and really doesn't want them to. That is what you're facing if you marry this gal. Not only will it be heartbreaking for you, but it will be for her as well.
_____________________________
Bagel Lisa
check out my blog at http://bagelslifehomeschool.blogspot.com/
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 2:16:58 AM
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diego7979
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The only real support from the bible about not getting married to a non-belier comes from not being yoked. (Only other support talks about tribes and her parents are Christian so her “tribe” is Christian) Paul wrote this part of 2 Corinthians because there were men who came questioning Paul as an apostle and trying to claim they were. He was trying to let those of Corinth to be leery of false prophets or teachers. (At least this is what my study bible tells me) Unfortunately I do not have much faith in pre-marital counseling being that I went through it with my minister and my ex-wife (tells you where this is going), got married, my wife committed adultery and we got divorced. We were just barely married a year. Anywho… if it is such a clear cut sin to marry an unbeliever, they why do such churches as the United Methodist Church condone the practice? They leave it up to the indivisual miniser. And what about 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 "12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?"
< Message edited by diego7979 -- 10/20/2008 2:31:32 AM >
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 7:53:22 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6187
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: diego7979
And what about 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 "12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?"
These verses were written for people who were already married when they became Christians. Some of them were thinking that as they were now Christians, and their spouses weren't, that maybe they should leave them. Paul was telling them this was not so.
Being unequally yoked is MEGA.
Do you know what a yoke is? One definition says "A bar or frame of wood by which two oxen are joined at the heads or necks for working together". In other words, the yoke determines in which direction they will go, and the equality of the yoke determines how straight a furrow they will plough. That's why believers are not supposed to be yoked with unbelievers, because it will affect the straightness of the furrow we plough with our lives.
_____________________________
"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 9:47:11 AM
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1love1God1way
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What does light and darkness have in common?
I would say that not being unequally yoked was a command, it is Scripture, and it is universal.
If you are not a follower, a true disciple of Christ, you are hell-bound and totally depraved. How disturbing of a concept to become "one flesh" with someone in that state.
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love.ben
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 10:25:51 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: diego7979
The only real support from the bible about not getting married to a non-belier comes from not being yoked. (Only other support talks about tribes and her parents are Christian so her “tribe” is Christian) Paul wrote this part of 2 Corinthians because there were men who came questioning Paul as an apostle and trying to claim they were. He was trying to let those of Corinth to be leery of false prophets or teachers. (At least this is what my study bible tells me)
OK, let's look at this.
The immediate context is 2 Cor. 5. The last part is talking about the theology of reconciliation of sinners with God. Chapter 6 (Paul didn't put a chapter number on it; verses and chapters have been added to help us locate each part of Scripture. So it's one long discussion that has continuity as Paul goes from one idea to the next). Paul then says (6:1) that "we" (that is, Paul and the others working with him) are workers with God and he begs the readers of the letter to not receive the grace of God in vain but be saved. Then he defends his leadership in the church as well as the leadership of the people with him. Obviously he's not defending the leadership of the people he's writing to since he's encouraging them to be saved: nonsaved people or unsaved-acting people can't be church leaders.
Paul furthers his admonishes to his readers in telling them to open their affections to the church leaders working with them as their affections were open to the Corinthians. Then he tells them to not be unequally yoked with nonChristians, and he makes the argument that people commiting themselves to relationships with nonChristians can't also be committed to a relationship with God because they are moving in opposite directions. And he quotes from Leviticus, Jeremiah, Ezekiel and Isaiah to show God had already made this principle clear for years.
Chapter 7 goes on to show how being a Christian should change the way they live their lives, specifically in getting rid of the sin they find in themselves.
So being unequally yoked is shown to be in contrast with being yoked with God and getting rid of sin and acting in a holy manner. The Corinthian church was noted for it's carnality, and a major way it showed up was their unrighteous relationships with people they shouldn't have been committed to.
To be blunt, it seems to be your struggle, too. Are you willing to do things God's way or insist on your own? This is between you and God, and I'm not pointing a finger at you and saying "you're bad." I'm pointing at Scripture and saying to you, "please do this according to God's righteous ways. It will give you a good life that works, not a bad life that doesn't work. Choose to have a good life."
You've given your heart to a young woman who is probably a nice person but doesn't have her heart in God's hand wanting to do whatever He says and receiving His blessings. She needs to walk the only road that works (every nonbiblical path of life is half a bridge over the Grand Canyon. It looks good at first but doesn't end well) but isn't. How can you walk God's way when she is going a different direction? We're told in the Bible to guard our hearts, for from it are the wellsprings of life.
quote:
Unfortunately I do not have much faith in pre-marital counseling being that I went through it with my minister and my ex-wife (tells you where this is going), got married, my wife committed adultery and we got divorced. We were just barely married a year.
ARGH! This is awful - I am so sorry!
The premarital counseling didn't make her commit adultery; we sin because we have evil hearts. Jesus said:
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. Matthew 15:19
Her problem wasn't she got premarital counseling, but that she did her own selfish thing contrary to it. We're counseling you not to be unequally yoked... please don't make a similar mistake to what your ex did.
quote:
Anywho… if it is such a clear cut sin to marry an unbeliever, they why do such churches as the United Methodist Church condone the practice?
Is the UMC equal to Scripture? The UMC has a reputation of not teaching the Scriptures much (I realize some may be; I'm speaking of broad brushstrokes here. If you go to one that does teach the Word of God and not just social gospel, hug your pastor for me and rejoice that you got a good one!).
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And what about 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 "12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?"
The Bible never contradicts itself. I've been taught this referred to people who became Christians after they were married (Manda beat me to this). Notice the passage deals with keeping people from leaving a nonbelieving spouse? That's because Christians have a rough time being married to nonbelieving spouses, becauses their lives are going in different directions. Is this what you want?
I'm sounding a little strident here (and I'm trying hard not to), but I feel like we're trying to talk you into not jumping off a cliff and you're sure you want to. God has reconciled you to Himself by sacrificing Himself so you could be in relationship with Him. You look like you want to throw that away and run to something that doesn't work. Would you rather walk away from her now and hurt for a year, or marry her and hurt the rest of your life and watch your kids being raised by someone who isn't walking with God with heart and soul?
If you think I (and others) don't understand, oh, yes, I do. I got saved while I was with a unbelieving guy who wanted to marry me. I had to choose. My family was in a cult and they weren't happy that I chose God over them, as they saw it. I've been there, done that, paid the price. But I got a relationship with God, and nothing is as important in my life as that. God is real and is my Home for all eternity. And I now have a believing spouse, a godly daughter (I made my own family!) who rocks, and a church family that is fantastic. May God be as gracious to you as He has been to me. God bless you; I am praying for you today.
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Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 10:53:52 AM
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1love1God1way
Posts: 2478
Joined: 5/16/2005
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My name is .ben, and I approve of deermousie's message.
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love.ben
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 11:12:13 AM
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Lady_of_Faith
Posts: 81
Joined: 9/18/2008
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Speaking from my own experience, love is blind and as for the saying 'love concurs all' that's just not true.
I recommend pre-martial counseling, such as another member mentioned in this thread. If I had it to do all over again, there would be no way that I would marry a non-believer. Christians heavily follow the laws of God and live a lifestyle that non-believers just don't agree with. I'm gong through my own troubles right now in my marriage that it's so bad I can feel the forces of good and evil inside my home.
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 12:19:57 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lady_of_Faith
Speaking from my own experience, love is blind and as for the saying 'love concurs all' that's just not true.
I recommend pre-martial counseling, such as another member mentioned in this thread. If I had it to do all over again, there would be no way that I would marry a non-believer. Christians heavily follow the laws of God and live a lifestyle that non-believers just don't agree with. I'm gong through my own troubles right now in my marriage that it's so bad I can feel the forces of good and evil inside my home.
Oh, wow, Lady_of_Faith. I am so sorry; this must be so tough. I am praying for you today. May God save your husband and turn him into a godly man who lives God's way and loves his wife like Christ loved the Church. (((Hugs))) Keep showing him what a godly wife looks like, and may God be merciful to you. <tears in my eyes>
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 12:45:41 PM
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creationtalk
Posts: 705
Joined: 6/9/2005
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diego,
I have been where you are. I married twice to men who were not following Christ. I would not wish what I have been through on anyone. The first time I married someone who believed in God, but did not see any reason to accept Christ. He justified pornography, drugs, abuse, etc. After the divorce I went through a time when I was very confused and uncertain about God, about who I was, what was right...and I ended up marrying again to a man who claimed to be a Christian, but did not live it--and I knew it before hand, so I have only myself to blame for the outcome. The last time was worse than the first. Adultery, drugs, other stuff.
Both of these men were "nice guys." The second in fact is quite charming and people who knew us both were shocked at how he treated me..."but he's such a nice guy." And I thought that he was too. The truth is, he is a nice guy...but he wasn't very nice to me when I wanted to go to church and he wanted to go out on the boat. And he was furious that I would give more than a few bucks to the church and other ministries, because he could have used that money for a new boat or jetski or a trip or a party with his friends, or.... And he over-ruled me and made fun of me consta | | |
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