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Judging & worrying equal not fun - 10/2/2008 1:09:35 PM
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NightJay0044
Posts: 45
Joined: 5/17/2006
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Hi, I've posted stuff similar to this before on here. I've been told I always worry about if people are judging me. It doesn't matter who they are, it can be anybody. I'm generally speaking.
How do I stop worrying or looking at everybody to see if they're judging me? Sometimes it causes me to stare at people which causes attention to myself and I don't like it.
It's harder then just saying don't worry about it or don't let it get to you. But how does a person do that? Any guidence here? Thank you. It's not a huge problem but it's a problem enough.
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RE: Judging & worrying equal not fun - 10/2/2008 1:15:20 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3041
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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How well do you know God's Word...how much time do you spend in it?
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Judging & worrying equal not fun - 10/2/2008 2:04:21 PM
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DuckTalk
Posts: 228
Joined: 9/16/2008
From: A Duck Hole in Tennessee
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
Hi, I've posted stuff similar to this before on here. I've been told I always worry about if people are judging me. It doesn't matter who they are, it can be anybody. I'm generally speaking.
How do I stop worrying or looking at everybody to see if they're judging me? Sometimes it causes me to stare at people which causes attention to myself and I don't like it.
It's harder then just saying don't worry about it or don't let it get to you. But how does a person do that? Any guidence here? Thank you. It's not a huge problem but it's a problem enough.
My step-daughter has this problem. I have often wondered why or what she was thinking when I would see her stare at other people. It was knowing her obsession with her own appearance & when I would hear her comment on them negatively or say something a wee-bit smart-alecky like "I don't know what their problem is!", it was very clear to me that she was very insecure & contentment was not a word that she had any concept of.
I have also watched other people (particularly women - sorry, but true) check a person out up one side & down the other & then lean into the person they are with & whisper something. Maybe it's about how pretty the other person looks. You s'pose? 
I could go into a sweet, sugar-coated version of how we should let God work in our lives & we certainly should, but you said it is harder than just saying it, so I will put it in my very blunt words.... Either way you look at insecurity, it is clearly someone who is not satisfied with God's work.
In your case though, you could possiblysuffer from fear, anxiety or paranoia. Mention this to a doctor & make sure that you do not have an anxiety issue. Sometimes they can help.
< Message edited by norak -- 10/2/2008 2:10:49 PM >
_____________________________
Sufferin' sassafrass. The nerve of some people, profitting from other people's miseries.
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RE: Judging & worrying equal not fun - 10/2/2008 2:19:23 PM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4121
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I would guide you to the book of Ephesians. The first part talks about all the good things you have as a Child of God (assuming you are a Christian.) I think this would be great for you to study and internalize so you can be certain of your own worth and why you have worth. I don't know what you think others are juadging you about (behavior, looks, etc?) but focusing on your true worth will help you take the focus off yourself. The second part talks about what that means for how you treat others and how you are to interact with others. Focusing on your own treatment of others can also help stop you from worrying because you are actively engaged in judging yourself properly in light of God's word (which reveals how He will be judging us.)
In application, I would say that you should probably read through the book of Ephesians for three days and then begin taking it one verse or paragraph/day and see what it means, meditate on it, adjust your behavior and prayers to reflect what you learn... and then when you reach the end of the book start all over again or move to another book (like 1 John, Phillippians or Colossians.)
Changing your mind and behavior is hard, but if you continually fill yourself up with God's word and line your behavior up with it (whether you understand or feel like it) your mind slowly starts to change. "Worrying" about what God says can eventually replace worrying about what others think of you. It's not easy and is time consuming, but well worth it!!
_____________________________
-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: Judging & worrying equal not fun - 10/2/2008 2:28:27 PM
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URForgiven
Posts: 1212
Joined: 3/22/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
How do I stop worrying or looking at everybody to see if they're judging me?
What you are really doing is focusing on yourself. You are self-conscious. We all are to one degree or another. You do not stop thinking about something by trying to stop thinking about it, you stop it by exchanging those improper thoughts with proper thoughts...with truth.
Realize that God accepts you exactly as you are, and where you are. And if God loves and accepts you, who cares what anybody else thinks? As Christians, the answer is to become Christ-conscious. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Focus on Him. Abide, depend on Him. You will then start to see yourself and others as He does.
The passage that I remember often is...
Philippians 4:8
"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things".
Bless you.
Peace
_____________________________
"Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit,
are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" Galatians 3:3
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RE: Judging & worrying equal not fun - 10/2/2008 5:26:43 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3041
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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quote:
Changing your mind and behavior is hard, but if you continually fill yourself up with God's word and line your behavior up with it (whether you understand or feel like it) your mind slowly starts to change. "Worrying" about what God says can eventually replace worrying about what others think of you. It's not easy and is time consuming, but well worth it!!
^^Wise words.
Memorize key Scriptures appropriate for what you are going through, and every time you start to go to the worrying or thinking others are judging you, counteract that lie with the Truth (of God's Word).
5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ -II Corinthians 10
Oh and btw, I used to always think my boss (who is also my Pastor) was thinking negative things about me and my work and just didn't want to hurt me by saying something...until one day, as I prayed about it for the umpteenth time, I heard God say, "Don't flatter yourself. He's far too busy to be thinking about you."
Really, I think you'd be surprised to know the people you think are judging you probably aren't even thinking about you.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Judging & worrying equal not fun - 10/2/2008 10:09:37 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 6007
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Hello. Former worrier here. These are the verses that I printed on little cards and had them everywhere - including on the dashboard of my car. I had to pay close attention to my thoughts, and every time I realized I was worrying about something ... anything ... I would remember these verses. They really helped me, and I pray that they will help you change your thought process too. 
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. (Philippians 4:8)
As you go through the Bible, print up little cards if something catches your eye and puts a smile on your face.
_____________________________
Instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend. That would be giving as the angels give.
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RE: Judging & worrying equal not fun - 10/4/2008 10:34:21 AM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1148
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
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My old boss usually had a saying, "They talked about Jesus Christ. You should not care what people think about you, because the people who think less about you usually has a problem or problems of their own.
The best thing to do is to pray for them--the bible says that to pray for those who despitfully use you and that means those who think the worse of you.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other" Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http//:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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