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Jumping ship - 11/19/2007 11:59:45 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10214
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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From one ship into another, that is. The ship of homeschooling to the ship of Christian school.
I had a BOE meeting tonight for the Christian school. It was nothing anyone said, but it was everything God was making me hear. I talked to the principal later about some of my concerns. Then I came home, with a heavy, heavy heart, and told Brian we needed to talk. He immediately shut off the Playstation (if you know Brian, you know that's a big deal  ) and asked me what was wrong.
I told him I wanted a real conversation about this, and not just a "whatever, dear". Again, if you know Brian, you'll know that he doesn't like to make decisions and usually will go along with whatever I think is best. I needed to hear his heart, and he let me. We agreed that Noah and I are coming to increasing frustration and we do not want Noah to hate school. I am losing my patience on a daily basis. We are not in a good place. I am afraid if something does not change, we will lose Noah. Academically, I am more than capable of teaching him. In other ways, I simply need more people behind me.
There are things he needs that I cannot give him right now. Yes, that dreaded socialization word. Not meant in the way most mean it, of course. But Noah has had ongoing authority issues for over a year now. I talked with the principal about this and I was encouraged by what she had to say about it, and what they would plan to do if he went there. It is a very small school and I think he will have 6 or so other kids in his class (2 grade levels). I know the teachers, I serve on the board, we live 5 minutes away, and he already knows the entire class.
I had two sticking points that Brian and I talked about. One was money. We will get a discount because of our income. The school will do small monthly payments and a lump sum at tax time, so that is probably what we will do. With most of my day not taken up by homeschooling, I will probably also try to find a full time day care child, so that will help with the money aspect.
The other sticking point is my pride. When I tried to count the reasons we should continue homeschooling, I realized the only one I could come up with was pride. I do not want to admit that I cannot do it (at least not right now).
I've failed at a lot of things in my life and I don't want this to be one of them. Some of my bad decisions have had far reaching consequences, and those consequences have only been magnified by my stubborn nature. But this is my CHILD. My firstborn son. I cannot let my pride get in the way of what he needs. Our relationship is broken and Brian and I feel I need to step out of teacher role in order for it to be fixed. I need to look forward to being his mom again.
Please, I don't need condemnation now. I fear that from some of you, even though I know you are my friends. I don't need a list of all the ways that I could make it work, or all the cons of sending him to school. But I do appreciate your loving prayers and support. I know I can count on you for that.
_____________________________
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 12:57:53 AM
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cynthia
Posts: 8078
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From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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Donna, Do not feel like a failure. If you are doing what the Lord is telling you to do, how is that failing? You are putting him into a God fearing environment where all the teaching is from a biblical world view. They will support your parenting, not undermine it. You and Brian believe this is what the Lord is directing you to do. Let it go. Don't swallow your pride, let it go. This could be a big stress reliever for you and could help your family dynamics.
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 6:07:36 AM
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Homegrownkids
Posts: 1128
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Donna, I admire your decision. If it worked out in our family, I would consider christian school for a while too.
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www.caringbridge.org/visit/pray4noah
God heals!
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 7:43:15 AM
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misaham
Posts: 757
Joined: 10/27/2007
From: Just west of Cleveland, OH
Status: online
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Yes, if you are doing what God is telling you to do, then you are doing the right thing! This is not a failure, but a success. I do not know how long you have homeschooled, but look at all that you have taught your son, not just academically. He will take all of that with him! I don't think that you are "jumping ship", just stearing along a different course. Your goals are still the same, just using a different method. I am glad that you have found support and a great place to send him! Blessings!
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 8:42:45 AM
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JuliaHop
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Donna-You will not be a failure if you enroll Noah in the school. It sounds like you would have the ideal school environment. What a praise that you have this option when it is needed. I too ditto Cynthia!
_____________________________
For God so loved the World, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 8:46:34 AM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 3582
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From: The EMPIRE state!
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Donna, You will NOT get any condemnation from me. I have seen you struggle and I understand why you are doing what you are doing. I agree with your reasons (not that my opinion SHOULD matter). That school is a good school with lots of wonderful, loving teachers. This is in no way a negative choice.
I don't think that you are a failure or a quitter either. You have done what you said you would do... take is as it comes. The time has come to go a different route to achieve the goals that you have for him. That is a good thing.
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Please do not PM me about this message, discuss it at the water cooler, or include it in your church bulletins. If you have questions, please keep them to yourself. ~Kerrlaw
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 10:26:20 AM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 5792
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From: WA
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Donna, please continue to bless us with your presence in this folder.
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Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 11:15:32 AM
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sen10tious
Posts: 361
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Donna, I see your decision as not only a courageous one, but also a really cool testimony as to how God takes us step by step into new adventures. Think back to the day you were asked to join the board. Remember what the reasons were then and look at the way they have played out. Furthermore, your home life has been complicated with a part-time stepson, (I'm referring only to part-time physically in your house, not part-time emotions.) I think the boys' relationship will change because of this and I would not be at all surprised to read a post from you down the road that says, "God fixed our family unity first and now (future) our educational desires are falling into place."
~ C S Lewis said, "One never knows all one's wishes." When we obey the Lord, we later find He filled wishes we did not know we had.
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 11:27:40 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10214
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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Thanks, everyone. I've been crying quite a bit, but I know we are doing the right thing for this time. I am not looking forward to telling my family.
We haven't decided when or how to tell Noah yet. I also haven't decided whether to keep going with school work after the Thanksgiving break or to take a break for December and have his last weeks at home remembered as a gentle, relaxing time. My dad is having surgery next Monday, and we will be caring for him for a couple weeks after. I was not planning on doing a lot of schoolwork then anyway. Maybe we'll just keep up on the basics (Reading, Math, Bible) and spend the rest of the time doing Christmas baking and other fun stuff. Input on that is welcome.
I called the principal this morning and told her our decision. She's setting up a meeting with the teacher after Thanksgiving break. I also talked to the financial lady and she pretty much approved our plans, though I will have to fill out paperwork still.
Jen, I could never desert you all. This was my first home on CW, and you are all my friends.
_____________________________
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 11:43:07 AM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 3582
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From: The EMPIRE state!
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I was going to suggest what you are planning to do anyway for schooling in the next few weeks. I would go so far as to do fun reading and math without the books. Do some field trips, baking and crafts as well.
It is so nice to hear Brian engaging himself in that decision.
I think that it will be funny when Noah realizes how easy he had it when it comes to school work. I have to laugh sometimes when my kids act like I am giving them just soooo much needless school work. Now that I think about it... it has been a while since they had that complaint, but I still think that they would be very surprised.
PS sorry that my phone hung up on us. 
_____________________________
Please do not PM me about this message, discuss it at the water cooler, or include it in your church bulletins. If you have questions, please keep them to yourself. ~Kerrlaw
W2D1
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 11:44:56 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10214
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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LOL...mine is charging too. It hung up on Lisa earlier and I couldn't go into the other room to get the other phone because Levi is napping.
I definitely won't be looking for a day care kid right now, until we get my medical situation dealt with. So it's good that we will be paying through June with our taxes and I'll have until September to decide if I really need to watch another child(ren).
_____________________________
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 11:46:39 AM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 3582
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
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LOL! I thought that it was my phone. It has been a pain every now and then for no good reason.
_____________________________
Please do not PM me about this message, discuss it at the water cooler, or include it in your church bulletins. If you have questions, please keep them to yourself. ~Kerrlaw
W2D1
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 11:51:35 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10214
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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quote:
I was going to suggest what you are planning to do anyway for schooling in the next few weeks. I would go so far as to do fun reading and math without the books. Do some field trips, baking and crafts as well.
Yeah, maybe put away all offical school books. I'm not concerned at all about him moving forward in math either because like I told you on the phone, he'll be moving back to the 2nd grade book (he's been working a year ahead in math, but recently hit a rough patch). The classroom he will be in this year is 1st and 2nd grade and we figure with the transition to full day school it might be better for him to have an easy time with math for now. Then next year, if he is still working above grade level, we'll address that when he is in the 3rd and 4th grade room.
quote:
It is so nice to hear Brian engaging himself in that decision.
It was, wasn't it?
quote:
I think that it will be funny when Noah realizes how easy he had it when it comes to school work. I have to laugh sometimes when my kids act like I am giving them just soooo much needless school work. Now that I think about it... it has been a while since they had that complaint, but I still think that they would be very surprised.
Well, it's like the principal said...the grass is always greener. The way the class is set up, he should have very little homework. The teacher teaches a lesson, gets them going on the work, and then teaches to the other half of the class. I know he is going to love having "real" gym, music, and art classes. Those are things that have been hard for me to do well.
_____________________________
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 12:03:28 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 3582
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
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The thing about Mrs. H is that she is VERY organized. I think that that will appeal to Noah. (I could be wrong, but he always struck me as having a personality that loves organization.) After spending a week in her room during VBS, I went home and used the same organizational techniques for school manipulatives (they ARE the same ones) here. It still doesn't look as nice as hers do, but it has been a huge improvement.
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Please do not PM me about this message, discuss it at the water cooler, or include it in your church bulletins. If you have questions, please keep them to yourself. ~Kerrlaw
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 12:38:51 PM
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Homegrownkids
Posts: 1128
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quote:
After spending a week in her room during VBS, I went home and used the same organizational techniques for school manipulatives (they ARE the same ones) here. It still doesn't look as nice as hers do, but it has been a huge improvement.
What kind of manipulatives??
_____________________________
www.caringbridge.org/visit/pray4noah
God heals!
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RE: Switching ships - 11/20/2007 1:32:24 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 3582
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
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In that post, I was speaking mostly of the ones that you can buy to go with the BJU math, Bible, K4 and K5. I was constantly missing them or having them not put away when done because I didn't have a place for them that was quick and nearby. She has them all nice and neatly seperated into ziplock bags and put in a cute little wooden box. The box can be easily moved to where I am teaching for easy retreval and picking up. She also has all of her counters and such neatly organized on a shelf. My more bulky manipulatives have to be stored differently until russ builds me a shelf with doors and child locks to keep the kids from vandalizing them. If I don't take them away from the kids as soon as they are done, they are lost forever.
< Message edited by Ellie-Mae -- 11/20/2007 1:42:34 PM >
_____________________________
Please do not PM me about this message, discuss it at the water cooler, or include it in your church bulletins. If you have questions, please keep them to yourself. ~Kerrlaw
W2D1
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 2:06:27 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 3582
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
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I don't know if it is going to be as easy as letting it go. She has family members that are very against hsing and might see this as her failure or her finally admitting that hsing is a bad idea. She knows that hsing was/is wonderful and the best decision while they were doing that. Just because that through God's leading, they are choosing to send Noah to school doesn't mean that their prior choices were any less right. I really feel for her. I know if I had the same set up with my family that they would never let me love it down and would have a "I told you so" attitude because they would see it as my failure even if it isn't true and would gloat. I don't know "how" bad it is, but I know that it isn't going to be easy for her. I would be wanting to avoid that too.
I am praying that God opens the door for her so that negative people in her family can see what she sees.
_____________________________
Please do not PM me about this message, discuss it at the water cooler, or include it in your church bulletins. If you have questions, please keep them to yourself. ~Kerrlaw
W2D1
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RE: Jumping ship - 11/20/2007 2:54:01 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 8078
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: offline
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I'm glad you ladies are so nice to me. You lift my spirits.
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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