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My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/19/2008 10:56:46 PM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2454
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
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Many of you remember the trial our family went through last year with my DD. The baby would have been around 5 months old now.
Anyway, she has a roommate now who just found out she is pregnant.
DD called me today expressing her excitement over roommate being pregnant and all the plans they are making to find a bigger apartment that will better fit, and she is going to go with roommate to doctor and just all in all "be there" for her friend.
She then exclaimed, "We are having a baby!"
My heart just broke.
I don't understand how she can be so excited over watching her friend go through what she chose not to go through.
Is this going to be where she sees what she did and comes to terms with it herself?
Her "choice" has not been discussed since she came home after the "procedure" and told me.
I guess I am just flat out jealous (right word?) because I lost a grandbaby and now DD is planning on ooh-ing and awe-ing over someone elses.
I need some advice, help, prayer, kick in the seat of the pants...whatever.
_____________________________
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
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RE: My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/19/2008 11:20:33 PM
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lightshineon
Posts: 3551
Joined: 4/11/2005
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She is living her pregnancy vicareously (sp) through her friend. That is the way she is dealing with quilt, even though, she will not admit to it.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/19/2008 11:21:32 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 5097
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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I think that you probably need to finish grieving, and this sort of thing is part of the entire process. Maybe this is also part of her way of "coping"?
((Kimmie))
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RE: My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/20/2008 12:15:04 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2552
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lightshineon
She is living her pregnancy vicareously (sp) through her friend. That is the way she is dealing with quilt, even though, she will not admit to it.
Exactly. (((((((((((((Kimmie)))))))))))))
Kimmie, I in no way mean to make you feel worse than you already feel, but you do not think she is thinking in lesbian terms, do you?
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 8/20/2008 1:00:46 PM >
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/20/2008 12:17:02 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2552
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: online
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quote:
She then exclaimed, "We are having a baby!"
My heart just broke.
She actually might have thought it would make you feel better, like she sees the error of her ways, and believes now that unborn life is precious. For all you know, she may have used her experience to help convince her friend NOT to abort.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/20/2008 12:22:34 AM
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KnowJesus
Posts: 263
Joined: 7/21/2006
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Mamaw...My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how you feel, having DD's of my own.
This sounds like an insensitive statement "We're having a baby" considering what you've said.
Lord God...I lift up Mama tonight. I sense the weight of her heart for her daughter, and the loss of her grandbaby. Lord Jesus, I can only imagine the pain when she heard those words from her daughter. Lord you know how to bring healing in this. Your words are healing to those broken. You tell us to go to you, to unload our burdens, but I ask tonight that you come near to Memaw and give her peace to trust that her DD will one day realize how her words and actions deeply affect others near to her. I pray that Memaws daughter would be drawn to you, and seek to know you Jesus as her Lord and Savior. In Jesus name
This baby...may open her eyes to "What if, I'd had'nt?" The good I see in this...is that she will see what she missed. And the opportunity you have to reach out to the girl having it. Your daughter will see God's love through your eyes for this baby, and could then realize her grave mistake. Then it could be a time you can truly share your hurt together and lead her to a relationship with Jesus, or back to him if she's a prodigal.
God bless
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RE: My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/20/2008 7:57:33 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 3630
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I can understand why this would be extremely painful for you, but it does sound like God could be working through this roommate and this baby. Your daughter has shut her abortion out of her mind, or found some way to "justify" it. Seeing her friend's pregnancy and birth may force her to come to terms with it in her own way.
She may never come weeping into your arms like the prodigal daughter you might wish her to be, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like God is working through this situation to create something better for your daughter's heart and mind.
_____________________________
This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
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RE: My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/20/2008 9:10:30 AM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2454
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
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Thank you all for responding.
I guess I just didn't think that this would be a way God would use to heal this hurt, but of course His ways are higher than mine.
When she told me, my mind was whirling with
"But, what about..."
"Hey, that's not fair...."
"How can you...."
But a "lock" shut my mouth (had to be God because I'm not capable of shutting my mouth most of the time) and I just listened to her till she was through then tactfully changed the subject to looking for a new bigger place.
The question of lesbianism was brought up.
No, I'm sure that isn't part of this (and I'm not upset you brought it up :) ).
Maybe her experience is part of the reason her friend has decided to have the baby, I know there are times in my life that I have gone through certain situations not knowing why then later I am used to help someone in the same place I just came out of.
I just don't know.
My heart just grieves for DD, for my lost grandbaby and for the hurt that I know one day DD is going to feel (and she may be feeling it right now but isn't showing me).
_____________________________
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
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RE: My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/20/2008 9:35:17 AM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1762
Joined: 2/28/2007
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Memaw, do you think when you are over the shock of this, you can sit down with her and talk with her in a non judgemental way about her pregnancy? You can ask her the questions you were thinking, just when you aren't so "hot" about it and maybe she will respond to you. I know that there was a woman who had an abortion who spoke at a mini retreat we had, and I don't know where it is, but there is a place for women who have had abortions to go on retreat simply to grieve the loss of those babies. I can find out for you where if you want, but she said it was life changing. They went through the grief process, the guilt, and I think they even had a funeral for the babies, but I am not sure about that one.
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RE: My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/20/2008 10:33:08 AM
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Row1
Posts: 249
Joined: 12/2/2005
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http://www.care-net.org/
carenet is a crisis pregnancy support organization. they do Bible study groups for women that have had an abortion, and want to work on the issue emotionally - this type of group helps women understand forgiveness from God. Carenet might be in your area. the website has info on locations.
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RE: My daughter said "We're having a baby" - 8/20/2008 10:48:22 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 5097
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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Yeah, Kimmie, I was thinking that carenet might be a good place for you to seek some support. My mom does counseling for them and they help everyone affected by abortion, not just the mother.
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What a heartache. 
