Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our marriage.
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Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our marriage. - 5/7/2008 11:29:38 AM
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MaryLiz52
Posts: 4
Joined: 5/7/2008
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Please keep my 5 grown children and 4 grandchildren, our friends, my in-laws and myself in prayer. My husband of over 28 years has divorced me and gotten remarried a few months later. I am believing for reconciliation and the restoring of our marriage. Scripturally I did nothing for this to happen, it was just a choice of his he made..I am believing for a miracle..and continue to pray for him every day.
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/7/2008 1:29:45 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 132
Joined: 6/15/2006
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Hello MaryLiz52...at the risk of sounding insensitive to your situation I would like to point out a few things. I certainly don't mean to be because I can relate firsthand to the pain that goes along with the termination of a longterm marriage.
I say these things based on your hope to reconcile with him. When you say that you haven't done anything wrong scripturally to merit a divorce, I assume you mean that you have been faithful to him throughout your marriage but your responsibilities to him (and God) go far beyond this. While I am not justifying for one split second what your husband did, it's always a 2-way street when a divorce happens and it will be very important for you to honestly look at your role in the breakdown. Men (as well as women) often stray because of unmet needs in the home and this may or may not be true in your particular situation. Only you can discern that but you will not be able to if you hold him 100% responsible for the breakdown.
Here are some questions you could consider because you are the only person you can change. Have you neglected your husband needs over the years? What types of things has he complained about in the relationship on a regular basis? How have you responded to those complaints? Have you respected him and his role in the family? Have you taken him for granted?
It goes without saying that there are a lot of questions he'll need to ask himself because this new marriage sounds like it will implode given the foundation it's based on. Again, scripturally, you may not have done anything that justifies divorce but your treatment of him over the years may have all but pushed him out the door. I admit I'm shooting in the dark because your initial post doesn't go into a lot of detail.
_____________________________
Live each day as thought it were your last for one day you will be right.
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/7/2008 2:20:19 PM
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cadz
Posts: 148
Joined: 9/18/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaryLiz52
Please keep my 5 grown children and 4 grandchildren, our friends, my in-laws and myself in prayer. My husband of over 28 years has divorced me and gotten remarried a few months later. I am believing for reconciliation and the restoring of our marriage. Scripturally I did nothing for this to happen, it was just a choice of his he made..I am believing for a miracle..and continue to pray for him every day.
Mary, I pray for the restoration of covenant marriages. Check out www.marriagedivorce.com. There is fellowship and encouragement there for those standing for their covenant marriages. There are also testimonies of those who have had their first marriage restored, even after their spouse adulterously remarried.
Stay strong in the Lord..
_____________________________
Cheryl
Why I repented of an adulterous remarriage &
cadz FAQ about Divorce & Remarriage
http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html
Visit my audio website http://www.cadz.net to listen to broadcasts on Marriage & Divorce
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/7/2008 2:58:16 PM
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MaryLiz52
Posts: 4
Joined: 5/7/2008
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Thank you for your response ChoirD. As in some marriages we had our problems..but we always talked things over and came to some kind of resolution...He has always told me he loved me and I thought he was faithful but recently found out that the woman he married he was pursuing her for over a year. Made promises to me even as much as a month before he told me he didn't love me and wanted a divorce. This so much uncharacter of the man that I was with..I tried to be the very best wife and mother that I could and to and was also faithful..so many lies have come for from him..which I have forgiven..
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/7/2008 3:44:39 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 132
Joined: 6/15/2006
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Let me assure you that God sees all and the scriptures are very clear about the judgement an adulterer brings on himself/herself. God will avenge the wrong that was committed against you if you continue to look upwards and not seek vengeance yourself. There's a difference between revenge and avenge. Revenge is vengence we do out of our own ill will but avenge is vengence that is done on our behalf by someone else and God knows very well how to avenge the wrong committed against his own.
Recently, my marriage ended due to my ex-wife committing adultery and I can't began to tell you how God intervened on my behalf because I trusted Him with the situation. Let me just say it was to the point where I was feeling sorry for my ex after all the judgement the Lord brought down on her and I was thinking "okay Lord, she's suffered enough."
_____________________________
Live each day as thought it were your last for one day you will be right.
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/8/2008 7:46:35 AM
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lastblast
Posts: 1547
Joined: 9/20/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaryLiz52
Thank you for your response ChoirD. As in some marriages we had our problems..but we always talked things over and came to some kind of resolution...He has always told me he loved me and I thought he was faithful but recently found out that the woman he married he was pursuing her for over a year. Made promises to me even as much as a month before he told me he didn't love me and wanted a divorce. This so much uncharacter of the man that I was with..I tried to be the very best wife and mother that I could and to and was also faithful..so many lies have come for from him..which I have forgiven..
Mary,
It is the Lord's will/desire to bring your husband to a place of a true heart change which will lead him to forsake the adultery he is in(II Pet. 3:9) and bring reconciliation/restoration within your family. You are on the right track as your heart desires the Lord's work in his life, which in turn will benefit your entire family should he turn away from his sin.
Do not think of revenge/or avenging............keep your heart soft towards those who have hurt you and your family..........even the other woman, who too, is in sin by being with another woman's husband in the eyes of the Lord. Pray that HER eyes will be open to her sin and that she too will come to true repentance. Blessings sister..........
_____________________________
Blessings as you seek Him, Cindy
What does the bible say on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage?
www.marriagedivorce.com
www.cadz.net/faq.html
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/8/2008 9:35:56 AM
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MaryLiz52
Posts: 4
Joined: 5/7/2008
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Thank you Cindy for you for responding again. I have been praying for her also and him that the Lord would open their eyes to the sin of adultery and that their hearts would be changed from being hardened to hearts of flesh. I am so looking forward when my prodical will be not only coming home but that he will be so sold out to the Lord that his own family will rejoice with him.
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/8/2008 9:40:32 AM
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gocartone
Posts: 13
Joined: 4/19/2008
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MayLiz52,
My wife told me nearly 2 years ago she did not love me as she felt she should and pursued another man for 7 months. She stopped seeing him and we spent the last year trying to work on our marriage. After the year, she said her feelings have not changed and still wanted a separation. I know the feelings you are having. I was not the spiritual leader I should have been and fell short in other ways as well. I was hoping that once the kids were gone, we would have time to work harder on us and start having the marriage we were intended to have. I guess I was too late. I, too, am praying for reconciliation and for her heart to change from wanting independance and separation to working on our relationship. If I were in your place as having a spouse leave and re-marry already, I don't know how I would handle that. I would continue to pray for her but also realize as cadz said God's chastisement will come on him. You have to keep God first and make sure your relationship with Him is where it should be. God does not hold you accountable for his actions. He is proud of the stand you have taken in making sure you are in obedience to Him and His will for your life.
Stay strong and keep talking to the Father who wants to hear from you without ceasing and fervently. 1Thess. 5:17, James 5:16
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/8/2008 10:30:19 AM
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lastblast
Posts: 1547
Joined: 9/20/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaryLiz52
I am so looking forward when my prodical will be not only coming home but that he will be so sold out to the Lord that his own family will rejoice with him.
THAT is the Lord's heart towards your husband, Mary!!!! Amen to that!
_____________________________
Blessings as you seek Him, Cindy
What does the bible say on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage?
www.marriagedivorce.com
www.cadz.net/faq.html
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/8/2008 11:15:23 AM
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CheshireMuse
Posts: 34
Joined: 8/23/2007
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Mary, I'm so sorry for the position you find yourself in - especially since it seems to be through no fault of your own.
However, I'm curious and a little disturbed by some of the posts I've seen here. Maybe I'm just not looking at the subject correctly, but my issue is this....
You say your ex-husband has remarried. You say you're praying for him to basically get right with God and become the man God wants him to be (ie. and return to you in reconciliation). However, if he does this - if God does this - then what? He's still married to another woman.
Is it the contention of the majority here, that if this man "gets right with God" that means he must divorce AGAIN, in order to "get out of adultery"? That doesn't seem logical to me.... its like saying two wrongs make a right.....
Jesus, Himself, gave adultery as a valid spiritual reason for divorce. We are not bound to our spouse if they betray us in this manner. I'm all for salvaging a relationship, don't get me wrong.... however, you can't force someone to reconcile, can you? And this is sort of looking like you're beating a dead horse.
This man has REMARRIED. Even if he someday repents of the wrong he did to you and your family, it doesn't change the fact that he has made other vows to his new wife.
Several posters have implied that these vows are invalid because of the situation. Maybe he is in rebellion (and I have no argument with that).... when he sees the light and repents, its not going to change the fact that he made those vows.... his current marriage is still going to be there.
Honey, as much as this hurts (and I know it does), he's moved on.... in a pretty permanent way. You're free to move on, as well. Clinging to the past in such a way seems very unhealthy to me....
_____________________________
Peace,
Muse
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/8/2008 11:24:29 AM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 132
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
Do not think of revenge/or avenging............keep your heart soft towards those who have hurt you and your family..........even the other woman, who too, is in sin by being with another woman's husband in the eyes of the Lord. Pray that HER eyes will be open to her sin and that she too will come to true repentance. Blessings sister..........
I probably should provide a little more context to the statements I made regarding avenging or revenging. The first priority should be praying that God would bring about brokenness and repentance for your husband. In my situation, It was years of an unrepentant and defiant attitude that only got worse with time despite the many prayers for repentance. I continued to pray for my ex's repentance but I also prayed that God would simply intervene on my behalf to deliver me from the mistreatment.
_____________________________
Live each day as thought it were your last for one day you will be right.
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/8/2008 2:15:50 PM
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keepingfaith
Posts: 504
Joined: 5/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
This man has REMARRIED. Even if he someday repents of the wrong he did to you and your family, it doesn't change the fact that he has made other vows to his new wife.
Several posters have implied that these vows are invalid because of the situation. Maybe he is in rebellion (and I have no argument with that).... when he sees the light and repents, its not going to change the fact that he made those vows.... his current marriage is still going to be there.
Honey, as much as this hurts (and I know it does), he's moved on.... in a pretty permanent way. You're free to move on, as well. Clinging to the past in such a way seems very unhealthy to me....
I’m sorry for what you are going through, I’m walking the same path with you. I highly recommend digging deep into the Word and listening only to Him and not to any counsel that contradicts His Word. His way is the very best way, even when the truth seems too hard. He will work ALL things together for the good and He has plans to prosper and not to harm you.
This is a testing of our faith and we must walk by faith and not by sight. It is also not so much about our spouses returning to US as it is about the importance of them being restored to the LORD and repenting of the darkness they are walking in. My prayer is that the deception would be removed, and that they would come to a saving knowledge of Christ that would lead to them forsaking their adultery and making Him their Lord.
Don’t let anyone tell you it is wrong for you to remain faithful to your vows. A quick search of verses on vows shows how seriously God takes them and they are not contingent on another person’s sin and whether our spouse fulfills theirs. The ungodly divorce culture we live in (even in the church) will tell you “move on- you are not accountable…” I find that counsel in direct opposition to the Word…1cor7:10-11.
Don’t let anyone tell you that YOUR HUSBAND is in a valid “remarriage” when Jesus calls that adultery Luke 16:18, and says you are still bound in marriage to him until death- not til divorce. 1cor7:39. God does not bless something He calls adultery.
It is a narrow road, just as He said it would be. But I can give you THIS PROMISE. The Lord will NOT forsake you… He WILL bless and honor your obedience and you honoring Him. He rewards the faithful...the overcomers. He will NOT let you down…
Bless you sister.
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/8/2008 3:16:06 PM
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CheshireMuse
Posts: 34
Joined: 8/23/2007
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"Jesus replied, '....I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.' " Matt 19:9
Now, look.... as I tried to say before, I'm all for salvaging a marriage... and if the OP wants to continue to wait for this man, then that's her decision, and I will join her in praying for his return.... but the facts haven't changed... the man committed adultery...he divorced his wife.... he has remarried. Since she is the offended party, she is (according to Scripture) no longer bound.
At this juncture, it seems rather pointless for her to continue to pray for reconciliation when the only way that can happen is for the man to (a) divorce a second time, or (b) his current spouse to die.
You're perfectly welcome to believe as you see fit, however, I must take issue with the implication that this is a wrongly held doctrine. These are the words of Jesus Christ.
You act as if I'm trying to do her harm in some way... and frankly, I resent that. I have to wonder what is more harmful.... advising this dear woman to stop hoping and start living (whatever that may mean to her), or to tell her that she is doomed to be forever alone on this earth, even though Jesus says otherwise.
By the way, the verses you reference in Corinthians deal specifically with a subject Paul was having issue with at the time - and that was new believers with unbelieving spouses thinking they could leave the unbeliever behind. Paul was telling them that if the unbelieving spouse wished to stay, then they should stay and make the marriage work... but if the unbelieving spouse wanted to leave, then the believer should let them leave... "A believing man or woman is NOT BOUND in such circumstances" (I Cor 7:15)...
Now, if Paul says than an unbeliever is allowed to leave (if they choose) and the believing spouse is not bound in that case; and Jesus says a marriage can be dissolved because of adultery... where is the "unholy deception"?
You know what? On second thought, never mind.... I think this falls under the subject of "useless arguments" the bible warns us against participating in....
To Mary.... you and your precious family are in my prayers.... I hope all goes well with you...
quote:
ORIGINAL: keepingfaith
quote:
This man has REMARRIED. Even if he someday repents of the wrong he did to you and your family, it doesn't change the fact that he has made other vows to his new wife.
Several posters have implied that these vows are invalid because of the situation. Maybe he is in rebellion (and I have no argument with that).... when he sees the light and repents, its not going to change the fact that he made those vows.... his current marriage is still going to be there.
Honey, as much as this hurts (and I know it does), he's moved on.... in a pretty permanent way. You're free to move on, as well. Clinging to the past in such a way seems very unhealthy to me....
I’m sorry for what you are going through, I’m walking the same path with you. I highly recommend digging deep into the Word and listening only to Him and not to any counsel that contradicts His Word. His way is the very best way, even when the truth seems too hard. He will work ALL things together for the good and He has plans to prosper and not to harm you.
This is a testing of our faith and we must walk by faith and not by sight. It is also not so much about our spouses returning to US as it is about the importance of them being restored to the LORD and repenting of the darkness they are walking in. My prayer is that the deception would be removed, and that they would come to a saving knowledge of Christ that would lead to them forsaking their adultery and making Him their Lord.
Don’t let anyone tell you it is wrong for you to remain faithful to your vows. A quick search of verses on vows shows how seriously God takes them and they are not contingent on another person’s sin and whether our spouse fulfills theirs. The ungodly divorce culture we live in (even in the church) will tell you “move on- you are not accountable…” I find that counsel in direct opposition to the Word…1cor7:10-11.
Don’t let anyone tell you that YOUR HUSBAND is in a valid “remarriage” when Jesus calls that adultery Luke 16:18, and says you are still bound in marriage to him until death- not til divorce. 1cor7:39. God does not bless something He calls adultery.
It is a narrow road, just as He said it would be. But I can give you THIS PROMISE. The Lord will NOT forsake you… He WILL bless and honor your obedience and you honoring Him. He rewards the faithful...the overcomers. He will NOT let you down…
Bless you sister.
_____________________________
Peace,
Muse
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/8/2008 3:32:34 PM
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cadz
Posts: 148
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CheshireMuse
"Jesus replied, '....I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.' " Matt 19:9
Now, look.... as I tried to say before, I'm all for salvaging a marriage... and if the OP wants to continue to wait for this man, then that's her decision, and I will join her in praying for his return.... but the facts haven't changed... the man committed adultery...he divorced his wife.... he has remarried. Since she is the offended party, she is (according to Scripture) no longer bound.
At this juncture, it seems rather pointless for her to continue to pray for reconciliation when the only way that can happen is for the man to (a) divorce a second time, or (b) his current spouse to die.
You're perfectly welcome to believe as you see fit, however, I must take issue with the implication that this is a wrongly held doctrine. These are the words of Jesus Christ.
You act as if I'm trying to do her harm in some way... and frankly, I resent that. I have to wonder what is more harmful.... advising this dear woman to stop hoping and start living (whatever that may mean to her), or to tell her that she is doomed to be forever alone on this earth, even though Jesus says otherwise.
By the way, the verses you reference in Corinthians deal specifically with a subject Paul was having issue with at the time - and that was new believers with unbelieving spouses thinking they could leave the unbeliever behind. Paul was telling them that if the unbelieving spouse wished to stay, then they should stay and make the marriage work... but if the unbelieving spouse wanted to leave, then the believer should let them leave... "A believing man or woman is NOT BOUND in such circumstances" (I Cor 7:15)...
Now, if Paul says than an unbeliever is allowed to leave (if they choose) and the believing spouse is not bound in that case; and Jesus says a marriage can be dissolved because of adultery... where is the "unholy deception"?
You know what? On second thought, never mind.... I think this falls under the subject of "useless arguments" the bible warns us against participating in....
To Mary.... you and your precious family are in my prayers.... I hope all goes well with you...
quote:
ORIGINAL: keepingfaith
quote:
This man has REMARRIED. Even if he someday repents of the wrong he did to you and your family, it doesn't change the fact that he has made other vows to his new wife.
Several posters have implied that these vows are invalid because of the situation. Maybe he is in rebellion (and I have no argument with that).... when he sees the light and repents, its not going to change the fact that he made those vows.... his current marriage is still going to be there.
Honey, as much as this hurts (and I know it does), he's moved on.... in a pretty permanent way. You're free to move on, as well. Clinging to the past in such a way seems very unhealthy to me....
I’m sorry for what you are going through, I’m walking the same path with you. I highly recommend digging deep into the Word and listening only to Him and not to any counsel that contradicts His Word. His way is the very best way, even when the truth seems too hard. He will work ALL things together for the good and He has plans to prosper and not to harm you.
This is a testing of our faith and we must walk by faith and not by sight. It is also not so much about our spouses returning to US as it is about the importance of them being restored to the LORD and repenting of the darkness they are walking in. My prayer is that the deception would be removed, and that they would come to a saving knowledge of Christ that would lead to them forsaking their adultery and making Him their Lord.
Don’t let anyone tell you it is wrong for you to remain faithful to your vows. A quick search of verses on vows shows how seriously God takes them and they are not contingent on another person’s sin and whether our spouse fulfills theirs. The ungodly divorce culture we live in (even in the church) will tell you “move on- you are not accountable…” I find that counsel in direct opposition to the Word…1cor7:10-11.
Don’t let anyone tell you that YOUR HUSBAND is in a valid “remarriage” when Jesus calls that adultery Luke 16:18, and says you are still bound in marriage to him until death- not til divorce. 1cor7:39. God does not bless something He calls adultery.
It is a narrow road, just as He said it would be. But I can give you THIS PROMISE. The Lord will NOT forsake you… He WILL bless and honor your obedience and you honoring Him. He rewards the faithful...the overcomers. He will NOT let you down…
Bless you sister.
We are not allowed to debate Remarriage in this thread. You can debate it here in the remarriage thread.
_____________________________
Cheryl
Why I repented of an adulterous remarriage &
cadz FAQ about Divorce & Remarriage
http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html
Visit my audio website http://www.cadz.net to listen to broadcasts on Marriage & Divorce
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/9/2008 8:44:42 AM
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lastblast
Posts: 1547
Joined: 9/20/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CheshireMuse
However, I'm curious and a little disturbed by some of the posts I've seen here. Maybe I'm just not looking at the subject correctly, but my issue is this....
This man has REMARRIED. Even if he someday repents of the wrong he did to you and your family, it doesn't change the fact that he has made other vows to his new wife.
CheshireMuse,
Jesus said such a man is COMMITTING adultery. There is absolutely NO biblical evidence that God "joins" as One flesh such an adulterous union. He has called it sin-----the sin of having unlawful relations with someone who is NOT your spouse (the definiton of adultery). His vows were INVALID in the sight of God because he is ALREADY bound to MaryLiz. His new relationship is no different in God's eyes than an extra-marital relationship.
As Cadz said, I encourage you to discuss this further in the MDR thread as we can then go verse by verse, line upon line in regards to why we each believe as we do. MaryLiz wants encouragement/prayer for the restoration of the marriage GOD joined together. I think we should give it to her because she is 100% bibically correct to want such a thing to happen.
_____________________________
Blessings as you seek Him, Cindy
What does the bible say on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage?
www.marriagedivorce.com
www.cadz.net/faq.html
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RE: Prayer for reconciliation and restoration of our ma... - 5/9/2008 9:57:14 AM
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MaryLiz52
Posts: 4
Joined: 5/7/2008
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Thank you Lastblast for the words of encouragement. It only confirms that I need to still believe for reconciliation in our marriage, not that have doubted it for a minute that I should give up in my prayers, sometimes the circumstances that surround all of this and things that still happen, it keeps me in tune with the fact that our Lord and Savior, does know and he doesn't look in favor to what is happening, I'm not saying that in a convicting way, please understand me. I know that the Lord is bigger than all of this and can work a miracle in my husbands life, my life and my family and friends.
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