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The guy at work... - 9/27/2008 5:49:02 AM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 94
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There's a guy at work who was looking at me several times over the past few months, but said nothing. Then, just this wednesday, we said hi (WOW, haha). Was working a night shift last night and found out that he was also on call. So, at around 2am, went to the staff room and he was sitting in a seat there. He immediately left, but then came back 5 mins later to check for something. 10 mins later, he comes back and he's with this other girl on call who he obviously knows.From what I gather, they're not going out since she was asking him if he was here over the weekend, etc. She knows me by name - I've only this morning found out hers. We all talked some, but they seemed to be signalling things at each other from time to time. I didn't look because what's it got to do with me. She left for about 5 mins and he was so quiet. He also hardly spoke with me unless I asked him a direct question -whereas he was very direct and straight with her (obviously knew her!) What was that all about? And is it even worth putting my brain to ask does he like me or am I really looking into this waaay to soon/early - this is only day 2 of starting to know this guy! He seems pretty intelligent! We were all watching McCain and Obama!
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RE: The guy at work... - 9/27/2008 11:54:36 AM
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mrtigger
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeautifulFemale
What was that all about?
I think you are trying to read too much from it. An occasional look does not necessarily mean anything. Even if he looks at you because he thinks you are attractive, it does not necessarily mean he is interested in a relationship.
Maybe he is interested in you romantically... But what you've said about the situation doesn't really say so or not. If you are interested in him that way, ask him to coffee or lunch or something like that and try to get to know him a little better. Then see where it goes.
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mr tigger
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RE: The guy at work... - 9/27/2008 6:25:50 PM
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BeautifulFemale
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My main question is, is it still positive, neutral or is this situation negative? I'm not totally into him - just find something attractive about him. Even if he is involved with the other girl, I've experienced it too many times to be shocked at this point.
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RE: The guy at work... - 9/27/2008 7:42:49 PM
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OneJohn410
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If you are the newbie, maybe both of them are sizing you up as to how much you are going to benefit 'the team' effort, and if you've got what it takes to stay the course and be working with them a while or not? Usually the more experienced folks are expected to share with the newer ones. Maybe they shared a lot with the last person, and then he/she up and quit or took their knowledge to 'the next level' somewhere else.
I had some really deep thoughts after watching that debate, and he could have been in a zone thinking about that. If there's a situation, it is normal. You are under the newbie coverslip of the newbie microscope, but that's not unusual. People can say hello to me numerous times at work, the same person in fact, but it's not a prelude to a date- it's just the workworld's way of avoiding getting real personal about anything.
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When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, "Let's go to Bethlehem! Let's see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. Luke 2:15 (NLT)
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RE: The guy at work... - 9/27/2008 8:56:32 PM
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BeautifulFemale
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We happen to not be on the same teams...we're actually all on different ones, but I'm new in a sense as I haven't hung out with many people at work. They've probably been out to the local bar and hung out a few times. We all are new in a sense..because we all started in the summer. I don't fully understand what you mean when you say 'Maybe they shared a lot with the last person, and then he/she up and quit or took their knowledge to 'the next level' somewhere else?'
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RE: The guy at work... - 9/27/2008 11:58:15 PM
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OneJohn410
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Good point to my fuzzy typing.
Maybe your coworkers have been asked to help you learn the ropes, or think that by doing so they could get some benefit/bonus. So maybe they really tried to help the last person, gave them a lot of useful info with the hopes of making their own jobs easier, and then newbie quit and that's all they learned. Or maybe newbie quit, but let them know they were going to work for a competitor somewhere, and in a higher level position than their two friends- the next level.
That's a real stretch, I know. However, if there's a mindset that teamwork can make for easier times, and it hasn't happened yet for them, then they could just be trying to figure out who you are and how much they want to help?
btw, I'm planning on writing a book about this phenomenon in the near future and am looking for endorsements...  
_____________________________
When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, "Let's go to Bethlehem! Let's see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. Luke 2:15 (NLT)
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RE: The guy at work... - 9/28/2008 11:42:24 AM
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mrtigger
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeautifulFemale
My main question is, is it still positive, neutral or is this situation negative?
Neutral... I don't think anything can be reasonably inferred from what you have observed.
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mr tigger
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RE: The guy at work... - 9/29/2008 8:57:13 PM
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willfs
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I think he probably thinks your pretty. He also might be talking to his friend about you. My suggestion: If you are interested then be friendly to him. If he doesn't do much then... well its up to how much you want to put up with his shyness. I have also seen this in guys who like talking to their friends about a girl or they like the idea of going after a girl but they never do a thang, even when that girl flirts with them. However, this may not be it, it may just be shyness.
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RE: The guy at work... - 9/30/2008 3:17:16 AM
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BeautifulFemale
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I've actually decided to give up on this situation purely because too many times, I'm overly sensitive to the actions of guys I'm attracted to. I've been advised in the past to not intepret actions - just let them come up and speak to you and tell you what's on their mind. If they can't do it, 'TON PIS!' (Too bad in french!) I almost worked myself up silly last night until 3am talking with some girl since I was dissecting alittle thing he did. I don't know him nor do I know her so...I have to chill and get on with my life. If someone wants to be a part of it, I think they can make it more obvious than that. There are guys whom I am not interested in who have made it clear what they want. So, I think this guy probably would too. (Yes, the shy guys nay take a year or so to get it across, but they eventually have done so too.)
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RE: The guy at work... - 9/30/2008 7:22:48 AM
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willfs
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Yeah, if you feel better just saying "Ton Pis?" then that might be the best thing, especially if it is causing so much stress to try and figure out little signs. I hate it that you almost worked yourself silly just analyzing one action by this guy. I have done the same with woman, although I mostly enjoyed those conversations but maybe because I just left it at "Why does she keep staring at me in class? (or whatever). Oh well, I guess I will never know unless I do something about it." I didn't go into long conversations on a little thing. Of course, that is probably because my guy friends don't feel like talking about some girl I am interested in for that long.
So the shy guys actually went after you? What happened there? How did they finally get it across that they are interested?
Also, what are you doing up so early?
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RE: The guy at work... - 10/5/2008 2:55:35 PM
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BeautifulFemale
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Yes, a shy guy has eventually come over...he fancied me when he and some babe (he was in a 2 year relationship) were on break for more than a year. He got through to me on facebook (smiles), we talked like any normal human beings. Then when at a Bible study, he came up to me afterwards - admitted to finding it incredibly awesome/weird that we were talking face to face (smiles again). When online again, we got talking. I was kinda like...ok, this guy seems really interested -asking me if I was in relationship, blah blah. He tells me how he felt during the break, but then I wonder, what's his status now.....HE's Back in relationship with herrrrrrrr! lol. I'm like, why are you telling me that you liked me then? I request that we stop talking and leave it amicably. Also, asked him to tell his girlfriend -because, I mean, imagine being the girl on the otherside and knowing that your boyfriend has told a girl he used to like, that he USED to like her - he doesn't know her well, but suddenly got the guts to talk with her...hmmmmmm
For weeks, he apparently was asking how I was and didn't want to hurt me...lol (sweet). About 2 weeks ago, when I was back in town, he came up to me to shake my hand and say hi. I'm thinking -kid...make up your mind, lol.
Ahh well...I was protected again:)
Why I was up so early -either I was at work, couldn't sleep or hadn't brushed my teeth.
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RE: The guy at work... - 10/10/2008 4:52:14 PM
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BeautifulFemale
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Figured that out...and you know...after listening to Paul Washer on dating. I'm not getting involved in it anymore unless I know the true intentions of the guy and it's not 'JUST FOR FUN.' I think I deserve a man who is willing to want me more seriously. I am not recyclable.
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RE: The guy at work... - 10/10/2008 4:57:28 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 94
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Don't know why it's also a critical issue in the 30 age group! (Not knowing what they want!)
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RE: The guy at work... - 10/10/2008 7:52:12 PM
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OneJohn410
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I thought of a song that might fit the whole situation, but might not.
True intentions of a guy, what you want, I deserve someone who wants me more seriously...
'You can't... always get... what you want......
no you can't.... always get.... what you want.....
I said you can't.aways get.. what you want...... [then I think the words go]
But if you try sometimes.... you just may find.... you get what you need.
If you've got your mental model of Mr. Right figured out to the point of how it is you two are going to go about meeting each other, etc., then I wish you that storybook success for it all.
If you are there, and now you are trying to psychoanalyze him to figure out what he wants and who he's looking for- what if he's really close to looking for someone just like you, but some of your favorite traits he just can't stand? Are you locked in to who you are? If he's almost just who would be Mr. Right, but not quite so sorry, Chariie, and he's as close as the guys come for several years, what then?
What if wow! There's Mr. Right, and you know it, and he knows you are Ms. StraightOn. So you get married, and some changes take place in who he is, but not you. He's no longer your mental dreamboat. You are not caught up in the perfect life, are you? Just checking... I wouldn't reccommend it- that if you are you go after the myth of the perfect staying that way.
OneJohn410
_____________________________
When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, "Let's go to Bethlehem! Let's see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. Luke 2:15 (NLT)
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