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beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 2:48:21 PM
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jlp1
Posts: 125
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From: Chicago
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I really need for you'll to be honest do you think beautiful women are discriminated against? Men would not be able to answer but do you think looks play a role in how other women christian and non-christian women treat each other? I not saying because I think that I am beautiful but I heard women say this about themselves. That if you are beautiful other women would treat you different or stereotype them. Do you know any women that it has happened to or has it happened to you? do you think beautiful women are gold-diggers, stuck-up, self-centered, shallow, mean, out to take your man, ect.....?
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 2:58:37 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4088
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quote:
I really need for you'll to be honest do you think beautiful women are discriminated against?
No
quote:
Men would not be able to answer but do you think looks play a role in how other women christian and non-christian women treat each other?
Yes, but I've never known it to be based on physical appearance.
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Do you know any women that it has happened to or has it happened to you?
no, what I've seen is more about behavior than beauty in the way you're describing it
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Do you think beautiful women are gold-diggers, stuck-up, self-centered, shallow, mean, out to take your man, ect.....?
only if their behavior matches the charge and that's not usually based on their appearance
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 3:16:56 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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I have never been judged for my appearance, in the "real world" or in the church.
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Ryanne
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 4:10:59 PM
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jlp1
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quote:
Yes, but I've never known it to be based on physical appearance.
doinkdom, If not looks then what? and is it before they know that person personally? and do you consider yourself to be beautiful on inside and out?
solo_soprano22, you are very beautiful do you think women think you are not really a christian because you are pretty or that you have an ulterior motive to your walk with the Lord? Does your attitude match your looks? Do you think women feel you are a threat? and after people have gotten to know you do they then have a different attitude towards you or they can't get past your looks?
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I have never been judged for my appearance, in the "real world" or in the church.
Mrs.Wifey, do you get comments about how beuatiful you are by people men and women, all the time?
InBetweenDreams, because you are slim with beautiful hair and good fashion sence do you feel women tend to shun you or judge you for this?
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 4:14:54 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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quote:
Mrs.Wifey, do you get comments about how beuatiful you are by people men and women, all the time?
Um, depends. I have received more in the past(before gaining 25lbs and having a baby) but I have done some modeling and photo shoots so I'm definitely not plain 
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Ryanne
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 4:25:00 PM
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csl7037
Posts: 1321
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Everyone makes judgements - good, bad, or indifferent. Based on looks, personality, how someone presents themselves in a million different ways, or even quirky little things that might get one person's attention that a hundred other people wouldn't notice.
We all have ideas or notions that come to mind when we see or meet someone in one way or another. It's inevitable and everyone does it, and everyone is subjected to it in one way or another, whether we want to admit it to ourselves or to other people or not.
The real question is if we let our own prejudices (which is nothing more than how we preliminarily judge what we see or hear) become set in stone unfairly or, depsite them, we get to know who and what we're actually dealing with. Everyone has prejudices of some sort. The question is what you do with them.
And, on the flip side, it's a good measure of our own strength as a person whether or not we let the notions or prejudices of other people define us or choose to rise above it when we are confronted with it. The vast majority of the time, to whine or complain about such treatment, is just a waste of tme and energy.
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 4:34:44 PM
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doinkdom
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jlp1
quote:
Yes, but I've never known it to be based on physical appearance.
doinkdom, If not looks then what? and is it before they know that person personally? and do you consider yourself to be beautiful on inside and out?
I think other christian and non-christian women treat each other well and treat each other like garbage. I don't think any of it has to do with looks. It's usually their personality or how they treat others or some topic of debate between them.
IMO, many woman oftentimes consider their personal beauty as the excuse why they may not have a lot of friends. Usually, if they take a closer look...it has more to do with the self-centeredness in their heart or some other character issue more than anything. And not all character issues are bad...they just appear bad in body language. Shyness for example can be misunderstood as arrogance.
Women treat each other poorly sometimes. Simple fact. If someone treats me poorly, the last place I would look for a reason is my physical appearance.
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 6:49:52 PM
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lexie
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Nicole, you do have really beautiful hair!
I think it is possible that there are women out there who will judge others based on their appearance. But I think the women doing the judging are doing it because there is something that lacks in their self-confidence and they are projecting it on to others.
What confuses me though, is the original posters question to solo soprano. Why would anyone question her faith based on the fact that she is beautiful? That just makes no sense to me at all. Never once have I thought when I look at her picture that she could be any less of a Christian because she is so pretty, and I would really like to hear anyone explain why they would think that.
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 8:36:04 PM
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jlp1
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quote:
I never said I had "beautiful" hair. Just straight hair. Curly, wavy, short and long hair is beautiful too. And I never said I have a good fashion sense. I just said a girl was mean to me because I could wear the color orange and she didn't think it suited her. And I have already said that some women have been mean to me and have judged me because of stupid things like this...
Well I do apologize for giving you a compliment won't happen again, just going by what you said and because your hair is sooooo straight your right it might just be ugly and straight I should not have assumed.
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LOL...I wonder if the OP isn't doing a bit of 'beauty judging' herself?
No don't know how anyone looks just asking simple questions have you or have you not experienced this or know someone who has, and by the looks of some of the cattiness, I might have touched on a soft spot.
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I think other christian and non-christian women treat each other well and treat each other like garbage. I don't think any of it has to do with looks. It's usually their personality or how they treat others or some topic of debate between them.
I do agree
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IMO, many woman oftentimes consider their personal beauty as the excuse why they may not have a lot of friends. Usually, if they take a closer look...it has more to do with the self-centeredness in their heart or some other character issue more than anything. And not all character issues are bad...they just appear bad in body language. Shyness for example can be misunderstood as arrogance.
this is where the judging comes, often we do judge before we know.
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Women treat each other poorly sometimes. Simple fact. If someone treats me poorly, the last place I would look for a reason is my physical appearance
OK, we're not talking about where you would look, we're talking about what happens, not that you have any problems with you but how people perceive you. So maybe I should have asked the question differently, What do most people perceive of you before the know you? is that better?
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What confuses me though, is the original posters question to solo soprano. Why would anyone question her faith based on the fact that she is beautiful? That just makes no sense to me at all. Never once have I thought when I look at her picture that she could be any less of a Christian because she is so pretty, and I would really like to hear anyone explain why they would think that.
and that's wonderful that you don't do that! but do most people do! and as stated before I need to rephrase my question.
quote:
Do you know any women that it has happened to or has it happened to you? do you think beautiful women are gold-diggers, stuck-up, self-centered, shallow, mean, out to take your man, ect.....?
Know matter what most people will judge before the know, so that's why I asked her that question, her avatar is the only one I see so, I ask her
You might think that this is a shallow topic or say "I have bigger issues than this" but you must understand when a person no matter pretty, ugly, fat , skinny, tall, short if a person is starting or is mature in there walk with Christ how we are treated by our fellow believer can affect us to some degree. And I thought christian women don't behave like this but the reality is they do and I am asking because of how I was treated by some women in a singles group I recently joined and I could not believe the way I was treated none of the women talked to me only the men, which to me made the situation worse. I was all smiles, friendly, nice inviting, I don't know what else I could have done to be nice to these girls but I am often told by many people that when they first perceive me I "look" stuck-up but once they get to know me I get a totally different story. So I now go in with a big smile all teeth and openness, what more can I do? I checked myself. I've been told that this happens to women, I just want to know if it's any truth to it. I just want to know have I done something wrong, was it me. So the question was posed to me so I pose it to you.
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 9:07:37 PM
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DenimDiva
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I've been told many times that I'm pretty or attractive. However, I suffer with some real self-esteem issues so I tend to think they are just being nice.
I think 99.99% of the women on this board are beautiful! Yet, I think I've only seen pictures of about 10% of them. I don't think I've posted a picture of myself, but I won't swear to that. It's possible that I did and forgot about it.
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/6/2008 10:26:55 PM
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Auben
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I'm with Lexie.
People do make judgements about others based on physical appearance before they really know them. Most of the judgements come from past experience. Most people don't really act on that first impression (some do). More mature individuals realize they don't really know the person or at least realize that rude or aggressive behavior could backfire on them.
I'm not really a pretty girl, probably average/plain. I haven't really thought beautiful girls were more selfish, unchristian or catty than plain girls. I haven't really seen others act that way either, even though I was friends in college with a few women who modeled professionally. Science says the opposite. Beautiful people are rewarded and better liked for their looks.
I have occasionally thought some pretty girls were shallow, mostly because I have no interest in fashion and so their great interest in fashion seems shallow to me (I'd rather talk about something else). I wouldn't say that was tied to being beautiful though, plain girls have bored me with fashion as well. It just seems like more pretty girls are in to it.
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Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/7/2008 2:58:28 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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There is part of me that doesn't want to touch this thread with a ten foot pole, and part of me that can't resist. Either way, though it's too late at night, so I'll be back for more detail later.
Suffice it to say for now..interesting, thought provoking topic, and there are probably as many different answers to this played out as there are people in the world.
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-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/7/2008 10:10:42 AM
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Consecrated2God
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quote:
What do most people perceive of you before the know you? is that better?
I have no idea. How would I know what someone else thinks of me before they know me?
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Quilt raffle benefiting Voice of the Martyrs-- Click Here for information.
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/7/2008 10:58:37 AM
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jlp1
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From: Chicago
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quote:
I have no idea. How would I know what someone else thinks of me before they know me?
People body language and actions speak before they do.
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I've been to groups where I could only talk to the guys cuz the ladies didn't seem interested in talking to me.
Exactly and not that you are a bad person but it happens
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Suffice it to say for now..interesting, thought provoking topic, and there are probably as many different answers to this played out as there are people in the world.
I am so interested in what you think.....
I know a lot of christian women are in alinement with God but when you can't distinguish between the two worlds where do you fit in and not just with looks?
As people we should be nice to each other but as christian women we should know better, I told one of my friends that I was not going to go back but she told me no I must continue to go, to not let other people attitudes stop me from meeting some great people. I guess I should let people really get to know me so they make a better assessment.
< Message edited by jlp1 -- 6/7/2008 11:17:40 AM >
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/7/2008 12:54:41 PM
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Consecrated2God
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quote:
People body language and actions speak before they do.
But they can easily be misread. Someone can brush past me without saying anything to me and I could think they are ignoring me, but they could just be in a hurry to get to the restroom or something. Hard to tell.
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/7/2008 3:53:42 PM
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jlp1
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quote:
But they can easily be misread. Someone can brush past me without saying anything to me and I could think they are ignoring me, but they could just be in a hurry to get to the restroom or something. Hard to tell
You are right and this applies to the topic, actions, behavior, attitude, looks are misread before they are known, thanks 
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RE: beauty stereotype by other women - 6/7/2008 4:55:03 PM
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Cloak
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Prejudice and bigotry have always existed ever since biblical time. If you feel that someone is mistreating you, forgive them and let go and let God. It is sinful to be biased against someone because of their colour or ethnic background or beauty or whatever.
The Bible says: "Love is kind, it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Release these people to the Lord and let God take care of it!
(((Hugs)))
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And My God shall meet ALL Your Needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19)
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Judging someone by their appearance is just plain stupid. Thinking someone can't do something because they are thin is just plain ignorant. I am not a weakling and I do all that I can do. So there! 
