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is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 5/29/2008 10:58:29 AM
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RichLP
Posts: 1578
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Was dating girl for a few weeks.
She was always easy to reach; returned voicemails on same evening. She liked using text msgs, but regardless of what method of communication I used, she never failed to respond on the same day.
Dinners, good conversation, laughs, movies. seemed like a blooming relationship.
Last date had a conversation about us; she said she liked me and would not have agreed to one date after another if she didn't like me.
Her parents decided to visit town so out of respect and to let her enjoy her time w/ them I told her I wouldn't be calling for the time they were here. Also cuz she was gonna go away with them.
I communicated with her 3 times during the past 2 1/2 weeks, while they've been here: 2 text messages which she replied to promptly (last txt was last week when I wrote to ask how things were w/ her parents. She said they were having fun).
I call on Tuesday evening to say hello, to catch up. I wasn't sure whether her parents were still here or not. But, the phone rings a few times and it goes to voicemail. I leave a message asking her to call.
It's now almost mid-day Thursdsay. No return call, no text msgs, no emails.
Can I reasonably assume that this silence means she does not wish to pursue anyting with me any further?
PS: do not ask me for specifics, but I see her online occasionally; I am not sure whether she's in town (which means she'd be at work) or out of town with her parents. But I saw her online repeatedly yesterday and today. (because I think that no matter how occupied she may be hosting her parents or working at her job, if she really wanted to call back, taking time for a quick 3-minute phone call, or a small txt msg, wouldn't be that hard).
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"We have removed an ally of Al Qaeda" - G.W. Bush lies to America and to the world, 5/1/2003
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 5/29/2008 11:02:37 AM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 11506
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From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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You said you wouldn't contact her while her parents were there.
You don't know how long her parents are there.
Now you're wondering if the relationship is over because she hasn't returned a call from two days ago (less than that, actually), even though her parents may still be there? Are you faulting her for possibly not calling you back while her parents are there, after you said you wouldn't contact her (and, I assume, expect contact FROM her)?
Give it a couple more days - maybe next week - and call again. If she doesn't return THAT call, then start worrying about it.
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Tricia
"There's a fine line between being open-minded and empty-headed." ~Michael Coren
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 5/29/2008 11:03:27 AM
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laura...
Posts: 2855
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Sometimes voicemail messes up and your message is never received. Try texting her. Ask her if she got your voicemail.
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This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 5/29/2008 11:09:39 AM
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RichLP
Posts: 1578
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quote:
ORIGINAL: laura...
Sometimes voicemail messes up and your message is never received. Try texting her. Ask her if she got your voicemail.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............
_____________________________
"We have removed an ally of Al Qaeda" - G.W. Bush lies to America and to the world, 5/1/2003
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 5/29/2008 3:34:09 PM
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woodwind228
Posts: 476
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From: Atlanta
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What they said. I wouldn't read too much into it just yet.
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*~* Susan *~*
These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world. --John 16:33 KJV
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 5/29/2008 7:29:34 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2630
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From: The little house in the prairie
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Nope. Not until you confirmed that it's over, don't assume it's over.
Text messages doesn't always go through. Happened to me a few times. Voice mails, esp if left on a cell phone, doesn't always go through on the time that it was sent. Happened to me a few times where I was notified of a message left on my phone a few days later. I know, it's insane. Emails doesn't always go through. Happened to me as well. I think I have the worst luck with these communication device.
Call her one more time and talk. That's the only way you'll find out if she's not interested anymore. If she doesn't return it this time, make sure she's ok and not lying dead somewhere in some ditch. But do make contact and then wait.
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 5/30/2008 5:01:29 PM
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fluffmonkey
Posts: 1621
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From: some where over the rainbow
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quote:
Nope. Not until you confirmed that it's over, don't assume it's over.
Text messages doesn't always go through. Happened to me a few times. Voice mails, esp if left on a cell phone, doesn't always go through on the time that it was sent. Happened to me a few times where I was notified of a message left on my phone a few days later. I know, it's insane. Emails doesn't always go through. Happened to me as well. I think I have the worst luck with these communication device.
Call her one more time and talk. That's the only way you'll find out if she's not interested anymore. If she doesn't return it this time, make sure she's ok and not lying dead somewhere in some ditch. But do make contact and then wait.
Agree
Give it a little more time ^_^
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 5/31/2008 1:41:44 PM
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RichLP
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Thanks to everybody who wrote here, but I was right.
It's over.
Incredible how women think it's all right to just disappear.
_____________________________
"We have removed an ally of Al Qaeda" - G.W. Bush lies to America and to the world, 5/1/2003
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 5/31/2008 1:44:14 PM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 11506
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From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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My condolences, Rich.
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Tricia
"There's a fine line between being open-minded and empty-headed." ~Michael Coren
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 5/31/2008 7:13:05 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2630
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Sorry to hear that it's over for good. I can't believe Christian men and women do this too. Oh well. Move on.
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 6/1/2008 3:19:00 AM
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ebony101
Posts: 942
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Sorry to hear that Rich. I think she took the coward's way out.
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'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 6/2/2008 12:41:17 AM
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trinigirl722
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From: Dallas, TX
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I'm really sorry too, Rich.
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 6/2/2008 11:51:58 AM
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fluffmonkey
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Sorry to hear that
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 6/4/2008 12:18:48 AM
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woodwind228
Posts: 476
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ebony101
Sorry to hear that Rich. I think she took the coward's way out.
DITTO
_____________________________
*~* Susan *~*
These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world. --John 16:33 KJV
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 6/14/2008 6:08:14 PM
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_CANCELLED_
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I think a person's initial instinct on such matters is pretty right on and you only need to recognize, trust and accept it. Hope that helps.
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 6/18/2008 2:01:43 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1555
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quote:
I think a person's initial instinct on such matters is pretty right on and you only need to recognize, trust and accept it. Hope that helps.
I agree with this - I think this saves you a lot of time too. Sorry to hear about this Rich.
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 6/18/2008 3:11:12 PM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7000
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From: East Bay Area
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RichLP
Thanks to everybody who wrote here, but I was right.
It's over.
I'm very sorry to hear that.
quote:
Incredible how women think it's all right to just disappear.
Yes, we women know how painful it is when that is done to us. We shouldn't be handling things that way either.
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 6/18/2008 4:10:36 PM
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slushie
Posts: 2006
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That sucks. I'm so sorry that it happened. At least she should have EXPLAINED.
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RE: is it safe to conclude this is a closed matter? - 6/28/2008 7:54:07 AM
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ebony101
Posts: 942
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From: the big blue marble
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Once I had to pull a disappearing act. But that's because he refused to accept the fact that he disloyalty and dishonesty were deal-breakers for me. I had to bring the relationship to an end, and I told him so, but Everytime we went out and I would try to bring it up, he'd skirt around the topic and act all nice and la-di-da. I didn't want to just dump him, I wanted to explain why it was over. However, when I realised that he believed that I would soon come to my senses and realise he was a catch (yeah right), I had to get firm and refuse to answer his calls, texts and emails. It worked.
I know this is not the case with you RichLP, buut I'm just giving one explanation as to why some females have to pull a disappearing act.
Again, I extend my sympathies to you, in your situation I think that she handled things the wrong way.
_____________________________
'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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