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RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS!

 
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RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/11/2006 12:46:54 AM   
Blessed63

 

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From: TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: phosadaud

I heard that in the book of acts, Stephen was stoned. Did they really have marijuana back then?


OH MY OH MY... I bet someone some where is stroking out right about now!


ROFLMBO


Nora



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"Then will I purify the lips of the peoples, that all of them may call on the name of the LORD and serve him shoulder to shoulder. Zeph 3:9
Post #: 51
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/11/2006 11:11:35 AM   
drcain


Posts: 167
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From: Dallas, TX.
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I am anti-vegitable, especially those evil beets. I don't think that there will be vegitables in Heaven, but just the other day I heard the pastor say "Lettuce pray."

This is absolutly wrong, how can lettuce pray? Does that mean that there will be vegitables in Heaven? Or beets?!?!?


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David

What? Me worry?
Matthew 6:34
Post #: 52
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/11/2006 2:51:11 PM   
figmentPez


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My pastor used the word "manifestation" during a sermon on the Trinity and the eternal nature of the Son, does this mean he's some sort of heretic?

_____________________________

I make this challenge to all Christians:

Read Daniel 7:13-14

And tell me: Who do you say that the Son of Man is?
Post #: 53
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 2:45:39 PM   
phosadaud


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From: Washington State
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This thread is awesome!

Ok, here's another outrageous topic:

Will I lose my salvation if I eat devil's food cake?

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~Kristin~

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Post #: 54
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 4:04:21 PM   
Ps103


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quote:

Will I lose my salvation if I eat devil's food cake?


Answer: No--only your hand. That cake was *mine*!

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Post #: 55
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 4:22:12 PM   
Narcil

 

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Whenever I wash the dinner plates and dishes by hand, I don't like to waste time washing the outside of the cup or dish, just the part that was touching food. However, my wife keeps insisting that I wash the outside as well.

Anyway, I found this verse the other day:

"Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean." - Matthew 23:26

Does this mean my wife isn't saved?

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Post #: 56
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 4:23:44 PM   
drcain


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From: Dallas, TX.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ps103

Answer: No--only your hand. That cake was *mine*!


LOL! <mental picture> of a fork stuck into the back of a hand.

ROTFL!

_____________________________

David

What? Me worry?
Matthew 6:34
Post #: 57
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 4:26:13 PM   
happydays


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Baloney sandwiches: A Calvinist's feast?



Made my self laugh with that one..

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Dietrich Bonhoeffer, *Ethics*
Post #: 58
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 4:37:08 PM   
dance4joy


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Is it a sin to capitalize people's names? My mom says it's grammatically correct to capitalize proper names but I think that distinction should be reserved for God and Jesus.
And while we're at it I think anyone who capitalizes the name of satan might as well just go ahead and tatoo 666 on their foreheads since it's obvious where their allegiance lies!

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Post #: 59
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 4:48:59 PM   
greatdivide46


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Guns or Doctors:

The number of physicians in the USA is 700,000.
Accidental deaths caused by a physician per year are 120,000.
Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171
(statistics courtesty US Dept of HHS)

The number of gun owners in the USA is 80,000,000
The number of accidental deaths per year, all age groups, is 1500
The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.000188

Statistically physicians are about 9000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

In order to keep my family safer, should I buy a gun and not go to the doctor?

_____________________________

greatdivide46
SFC, USA (Ret)
The reflections of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD -- Proverbs 16:1
Post #: 60
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 7:36:22 PM   
drcain


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From: Dallas, TX.
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I think that, due to recent enlightenment, it is OK to shoot a doctor but not kill him. But if he capitalizes his name, then an exorcism using salted slugs is called for. Afterwards, we can all get stoned and be left for dead.

_____________________________

David

What? Me worry?
Matthew 6:34
Post #: 61
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 9:12:09 PM   
CoeurdeLeon


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ROTFL!!!

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The beatings will continue until the morale improves.






9.7.08
Post #: 62
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 9:12:12 PM   
crankius


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quote:

ORIGINAL: greatdivide46

Guns or Doctors:

The number of physicians in the USA is 700,000.
Accidental deaths caused by a physician per year are 120,000.
Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171
(statistics courtesty US Dept of HHS)

The number of gun owners in the USA is 80,000,000
The number of accidental deaths per year, all age groups, is 1500
The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.000188

Statistically physicians are about 9000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

In order to keep my family safer, should I buy a gun and not go to the doctor?


Love this!!!

_____________________________

Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16

He Himself is our peace! Ephesians 2:14:a
Post #: 63
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 10:34:20 PM   
phosadaud


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From: Washington State
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People always talk about how a Christian should bear fruit. I've never seen this happen though - I've only seen them bear children. Are there no real Christians out there?

_____________________________

~Kristin~

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Post #: 64
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 10:44:22 PM   
figmentPez


Posts: 2199
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: TX
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Folder: The Bible
Subject: Searching for a translation

Body: I'm wondering if someone could help me with a problem. I hold certain beleifs about God, the afterlife, morality and whatnot, but everytime I read the Bible I find contradicting views. Can someone help me find a translation that conforms to what I already believe?

_____________________________

I make this challenge to all Christians:

Read Daniel 7:13-14

And tell me: Who do you say that the Son of Man is?
Post #: 65
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/12/2006 11:35:11 PM   
phosadaud


Posts: 9744
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
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_____________________________

~Kristin~

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Post #: 66
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/13/2006 1:00:15 AM   
JesusTrance


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Joined: 6/11/2006
From: Kenosha, WI
Status: offline
So yesterday I was stocking up on all of my Bible study supplies at the local Christian book store... highlighters, pens, etc... when to my surprise I can't find the white out anywhere! So I go and ask the lady behind the counter, and you won't believe the look she gave me! It was like she thought I was from another planet or something!

I don't know... was it something I said?

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Post #: 67
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/13/2006 11:29:10 AM   
Anoc


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Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: phosadaud

People always talk about how a Christian should bear fruit. I've never seen this happen though - I've only seen them bear children. Are there no real Christians out there?

So if your children are nuts, that's a sign that you're a real Christian? *ponders*

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Post #: 68
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/15/2006 2:09:29 PM   
Kerrlaw


Posts: 9509
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: online
After I placed my new wheel tax sticker on my license plate, I noticed that the sticker number was 666. Do I now bear the mark of the beast?

I turned the license plate upside down so the sticker reads 999. Am I protected?

By turning the plate upside down, am I refusing to submit to (or obey) legal authority?

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That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
Post #: 69
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/15/2006 2:49:18 PM   
phosadaud


Posts: 9744
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
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I'm sorry Kerrlaw1, no matter what you do, it looks like you're doomed....

_____________________________

~Kristin~

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Post #: 70
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/16/2006 10:34:32 AM   
Consecrated2God


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In Feedback and Help:

I noticed one of your moderators uses a Smurf for an avatar. I'm sure you are aware that Smurfs are of the devil. I know Bill Gothard said they were. How can you call this board Christian and allow your moderators to display such vile and evil avatars?

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Post #: 71
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/16/2006 10:49:03 AM   
Blessed63

 

Posts: 400
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

In Feedback and Help:

I noticed one of your moderators uses a Smurf for an avatar. I'm sure you are aware that Smurfs are of the devil. I know Bill Gothard said they were. How can you call this board Christian and allow your moderators to display such vile and evil avatars?



~~~~snort~~~~~snort~~~~~snot~~~nora wiping nose~~~snort~~~~ROFLMBO!


That is too funny!


Nora



_____________________________

"Then will I purify the lips of the peoples, that all of them may call on the name of the LORD and serve him shoulder to shoulder. Zeph 3:9
Post #: 72
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/16/2006 10:55:47 AM   
zoey


Posts: 901
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Buckle
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

In Feedback and Help:

I noticed one of your moderators uses a Smurf for an avatar. I'm sure you are aware that Smurfs are of the devil. I know Bill Gothard said they were. How can you call this board Christian and allow your moderators to display such vile and evil avatars?

ROFLMBO!!! You are so cleverly onery! I love it!

_____________________________

10 Minutes
Post #: 73
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/16/2006 11:14:12 AM   
Kath


Posts: 16947
Joined: 2/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

In Feedback and Help:

I noticed one of your moderators uses a Smurf for an avatar. I'm sure you are aware that Smurfs are of the devil. I know Bill Gothard said they were. How can you call this board Christian and allow your moderators to display such vile and evil avatars?


oh my goodness! I forgot for a minute where I was, because I have like 7 windows open, and I thought I really was in feedback! I started thinking of all the mods avatars, trying to figure out who this person was talking about. (I didn't look first to see it was loveable lisa! )

she gets me every time. she's good!
Post #: 74
RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! - 6/16/2006 11:18:27 AM   
zoebob


Posts: 8829
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: land of limbo
Status: online
I did the same thing Kath. I know shawke has a smurf avetar. I thought it was a real complaint too though till I double checked which thread I was in.

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