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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 9:56:04 AM
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dramagirl4God
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I'll go first.
I have two sons, and neither are potty trained.
Peyton will be 3 in July. He has shown some interest in potty, but only when HE wants to. He is wonderfully strong willed, so whenever my beloved and I try to step in and actually get a routine going, he immediately backs off. He will not use a child's potty, so we have a seat to go on the big one, but then he needs help to go potty. He does not mind a full diaper, but will often times tell me when he needs a diaper change. We have tried rewards (stickers) for the potty, pull-ups, every hour he sits on the potty, and just letting him direct. He is happiest directing things, but is also not really potty training.
Tyson is about 19 months now. He has recently begun to take off his clothing and diaper (subject of the other thread). I have been advised this is a potty training stage, but his big brother is not trained yet. Tyson is more willing to go along with Mommy, so I think when I start really working on things, if he is ready, it will happen.
Our family will soon (May) have a third baby, and we will be moving to a larger home soon. ALL of the books and stuff say to avoid potty training within 6 months of a major life change.
*whew!
Advice?
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 10:25:47 AM
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manda59
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First of all, I will just say that I personally believe in sitting babies on the potty before they are "ready", and (more importantly) before they are old enough to object and realise they have a choice in the matter. If you get a baby accustomed to just sitting on it (for teeth cleaning, face washing, and for just sitting there while mum or dad does whatever they are there for!), then when it comes time for them to be potty trained, you won't have the objections and refusals, because they'll already be used to sitting there.
Secondly, once you have got them sitting there, if you manage to keep them there for at least a few minutes, the law of averages means that they will be likely, at least sometimes, to do something. And when they do, that gives you something to build on.
Both of my children were/are strong-willed btw. The trick was to get them to do what I wanted them to do without them realising it. Hence the teeth cleaning/face washing, oh and also sitting them on the potty while they watched a video (no DVDs then!). I owe SO MUCH to Thomas The Tank Engine. Once that was on, my ds didn't care what he was sitting on, so long as he could watch it! It was those 45 minute sessions where he made the most progress.
quote:
We have tried rewards (stickers) for the potty, pull-ups, every hour he sits on the potty, and just letting him direct. He is happiest directing things, but is also not really potty training.
I'd disagree. If he is sitting on the potty at least 2/3 times a day, he is potty training, even if he doesn't do anything. With mine, if they did do anything, I'd mildly praise them, but not go over the top (otherwise they can start to think they've done something wrong if they DON'T do anything). If there was nothing there, I'd say, lightly, "never mind, maybe next time!"
quote:
Our family will soon (May) have a third baby, and we will be moving to a larger home soon. ALL of the books and stuff say to avoid potty training within 6 months of a major life change.
It depends so much on the individual child that I personally think that is way too generalised.
With Peyton being 3 in July, you have an ideal opportunity to potty train him as soon as the warmer weather starts, wherever you may be. There's nothing better for quick potty training than letting them run around at home with no undies on. Little boys give a visible "clue" just before they are going to pee, and it can be *just* enough time to get them to a potty.
I know you said he doesn't like potties, but have you seen or tried him with those really cool ones that look like cars? If you could find just one design that he likes, it might really help you!
My ds was 18 months when we first sat him on the potty (just twice a day to start with - after breakfast and at bedtime). Because his bowel movements were very regular (9 times out of 10 he'd have a number 2 after breakfast), it wasn't long before one had slipped out, and he was so fascinated that he clicked very quickly about that. By 20 months he was clean, by 22 months he was dry. My mother told me he'd regress, that it was too early, but he didn't. I didn't dare leave him at night without a nappy (diaper) till he was 2yrs 3mths, but he was actually dry at night too.
I forgot to start trying my dd on the potty at 18 months, and by 21 months (when I remembered) she was refusing. So I left it a couple of months, and then tried again just before she was 2, and she was clean and dry within 2 weeks.
Wouldn't it be nice to have Peyton out of diapers before you have your baby and have a third lot to have to change? 
If it's warm enough there now, and you have perhaps two weeks when you're going to be home all day most days, you could try the "no undies" thing! Or maybe Tyson might like to try sitting on the potty - and then perhaps Peyton will start to want to as well!
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 11:22:20 AM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: isaacsmom
My ds just turned 2 in February, so he won't be ready for a while,
What makes you think he won't be ready for a while? He might not be, but he could well be.
Gentle matter of fact sitting on the potty isn't "pushing". We sit babies in strollers, sit them in highchairs, sit them in carseats - sitting them on the potty can be just as natural.
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 2:17:47 PM
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karlie
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quote:
Gentle matter of fact sitting on the potty isn't "pushing". We sit babies in strollers, sit them in highchairs, sit them in carseats - sitting them on the potty can be just as natural.
quote:
First of all, I will just say that I personally believe in sitting babies on the potty before they are "ready", and (more importantly) before they are old enough to object and realise they have a choice in the matter. If you get a baby accustomed to just sitting on it (for teeth cleaning, face washing, and for just sitting there while mum or dad does whatever they are there for!), then when it comes time for them to be potty trained, you won't have the objections and refusals, because they'll already be used to sitting there.
I agree with you Manda. That's how my oldest got potty trained so young. I just had her sit there with a book before bath time, or when I was going to be in there for awhile. It was a very casual thing...sometimes we'd sing, or just talk. I wasn't necessarily ready for her to be potty trained (she was only 18 mos), and not actively even working on it. I just wanted her to get used to it and thought at one point she would "do" something and get the idea on her own without it becoming such a huge issue I had seen my friends make it. That's exactly what happened. She went tinkle one day, was completely thrilled and proud, and put two and two together and that was it. Other than nap and nighttime, she never went in her diaper again. I didn't push her at all...it just happened in it's own because I gave her the opportunity. I certainly didn't expect to accomplish anything that young. She was ready way before I would have thought she could be. It never occurred to me that at that young of an age she could get the connection, or even be ready physically to control it, but she was.
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 2:40:55 PM
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VisitorinWaiting
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I don't know how accurate this is...but my friend has a daughter that she potty trained relatively early...by sitting her on the potty before she was old enough, and getting her actually trained before she was 2 years old... The little girl now has bladder problems...the doctor said that it was because they potty trained her so early??? I don't know...I don't know how that all works...but... Anyway, I have a 3 year old, who will be 4 in June...he is potty trained, and rarely has accidents, but still does have accidents. He has a hard time remember to do bm's in the potty...for some reason...he does them in there half of the time and half of the time not???
My other son will be 3 in July and seems to have no interest in using the potty like his big brother. He goes soooo often too. I have cut back on what he drinks and made it scheduled for a long time, but still no success with him. whew...I just don't know what to do with him. I feel like I've tried everything to no avail.
Also...how do you know when to put them in undies at night? I'm still putting both of them, even the potty trained one, in pull ups at night. I do this because I tried using undies at night, and they would wake up in the middle of the night once or twice to be changed because they were soaked. So, I'd have to get up, change their clothes, and then change their beds, and then try to get both of them back to sleep...we were all grumpy in the morning! lol
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 2:44:54 PM
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karlie
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quote:
I don't know how accurate this is...but my friend has a daughter that she potty trained relatively early...by sitting her on the potty before she was old enough, and getting her actually trained before she was 2 years old... The little girl now has bladder problems...the doctor said that it was because they potty trained her so early???
I think that has to be misinformation. My daughter basically trained herself at 18 mos...she has never had a single problem and she's 22 now. I've known lots of others who had early potty trainers and have never heard of that being an issue.
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 2:47:34 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
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If you have one that's ready, go for it! Even if his older brother isn't!
Asrat started a little before 2, and Gebre started around 22 months also. Well, I instigated it, because new baby is coming soon and the fewer diapers I have to deal with, the better.  Asrat was day and night trained by 2 1/2, and I hope Gebre will be so kind to me, too.
I do it gradually--catch a pee here and there for a while, make a big deal out of it whenever they go, and when I notice they realize when they have to pee, I start letting them go barebottomed for some of the day, and running them to the potty when they start walking with their knees held together.
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 3:10:10 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HappyMorning
I don't know how accurate this is...but my friend has a daughter that she potty trained relatively early...by sitting her on the potty before she was old enough, and getting her actually trained before she was 2 years old... The little girl now has bladder problems...the doctor said that it was because they potty trained her so early??? I don't know...I don't know how that all works...but...
Sorry, but I don't believe that for one minute.
There isn't a "too early". The only thing you can do wrong is be aggressive and pushy, and make them feel bad about themselves. The timing is irrelevant - it's how you do it that counts.
My children are now 17 and 13 (having been totally potty trained by 22 and 24 months respectively) and have never had so much as a UTI, let alone any bladder problems.
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 3:47:21 PM
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danas_mom
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Somebody said on here (I think) a while back, that we've taking the idea of "don't push" and turned it into "don't encourage". After having potty trained three kids in the past five years, I have to agree.
With my oldest, I tried to do everything right. I tried to wait until she showed me "signs" that she was "ready" and that didn't happen. Then at about 3 yo I started taking her to the potty off and on, she never showed much interest so I backed off thinking she wasn't "ready" and round and round we went. What a nightmare. Finally one day when she was about 3.5 I showed her the last package of pullups we had in the house and told her that was it, once she had used all of those up she was going to start using the potty because I wasn't buying any more. And what do you know, she did just fine.
Then my next one came along, a boy. I still believed I was supposed to wait for him to show me "signs" he was "ready" and here we went again. He would pee in the bathtub when I first put him in there but that was it. He was a couple of months shy of 4 yo when one day I took him to Walmart with me and had him pick out a $20 toy he really wanted. It was a remote control 3 wheeler. We took that toy to the layaway counter and I had him watch me put it on layaway. I explained to him that once he had gone for two full weeks without having to use a pullup ($20 was roughly two weeks' worth of pullups) that we would come back and get that toy out of layaway. He was fully trained three weeks later.
So by the time my third one came along I'd had enough of the waiting for "signs" nonsense.  I started taking him to the potty at about 18 months old. He was able to use it with no problems, but he wasn't able to hold his urine at all and would wet himself every 15 or 20 minutes. I tried underwear a few times so he would feel when he was wet but it didn't make any difference, so we went back into pullups for a while. But I made sure I took him to the potty before we left the house, before he laid down, as soon as he got back up, when we got to church or the grocery store, etc etc. Waited a few months and started putting him in underwear again and realized he was able to go for 45 minutes to an hour without wetting himself, sometimes longer. I could work with that. He's 2.5 now (turned 2 in August) and wears underwear during the day and pullups for sleeping and trips in the car. For the past couple of weeks he's been waking up dry from his naps and from bedtime more often than not, so I think by the time he turns 3 he'll be in underwear 24/7 and I'll never have to buy diapers or pullups again. That'll be a niiiice day. 
quote:
my friend has a daughter that she potty trained relatively early...by sitting her on the potty before she was old enough, and getting her actually trained before she was 2 years old... The little girl now has bladder problems...the doctor said that it was because they potty trained her so early???
No offense to your friend, but that doctor is really reaching. Unless your friend was making her daughter hold her urine for hours at a time (which I doubt), it is certainly not going to be more harmful to her body for her to eliminate in a toilet rather than a diaper. That's a rather ridiculous assumption.
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 5:11:52 PM
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pbaribeault
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My daughter (2 years + 3 months old) is getting really good at potty-ing. I did start her sitting in the toilet (with a converter seat and step stool) just around her 2nd birthday. At first, fully clothed in the morning, then naked before her bath. Suddenly she just "went" - and we made a big deal with cookies and cheering. Shortly she learned how to "let go" while on the potty (toilet with converter seat) each time we put her there. So then I transitioned her to panties each morning and took her often to go to the potty. When she wet them, I put her back into a diaper for the rest of the day. Soon, keeping dry became her own goal. Now she stays dry for 2 to 3 hours, even thorugh her nap. Her capacity to "hold it" has dramatically increased.
Poop is more of a problem though! It seems like it catches her by surprise while she is playing, especially if she squats down. It upsets her when she goes, but she doesn't seem to be able to anticipate it. (BTW I use cheap panties, and just throw them out if she poops in them. I consider it an acceptable loss. It's still less expensive than using pull-ups.)
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 6:29:19 PM
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dramagirl4God
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Oh, good, I am so glad this thread has "taken"!
Happy Morning- Is it possible your friend's daughter is hesitant to use the potty, so she holds it intentionally for too long? That could cause some problems, and my niece actually went through this. They discovered she was holding her urine until she absolutely HAD to go.
Maggie, I'm not totally convinced Tyson is ready. He's just doing a lot of stripping, he's also doing a lot of playing with his clothes, so I think it might be more trying to figure out his clothing. I think having as few children in diapers as possible would be wonderful, but I realize this is not about me, it's about Peyton, and for whatever reason, when I show interest in his potty training instead of waiting for him to ask for the potty, he backs right off.
Manda, how wonderful that your children could potty train that well! Any time you want to try to lock horns with my son...feel free! Lol, I can't even imagine his wiggly bottom staying on a potty any longer than absolutely necessary.
isaacsmom, at 2 we got a few potty training books to read with Peyton, just to get him used to the idea and the terms.
pbaribeault, where on earth are you getting panties that they are cheaper than pull-ups on a regular basis?
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 6:41:26 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dramagirl4God
Happy Morning- Is it possible your friend's daughter is hesitant to use the potty, so she holds it intentionally for too long? That could cause some problems, and my niece actually went through this. They discovered she was holding her urine until she absolutely HAD to go.
This would be unlikely to happen if (a) sitting on the potty was started early enough (b) there was no pressure to do anything. I used to tell my two it didn't matter if they didn't do anything, that I just wanted them to sit there for a while.
quote:
Maggie, I'm not totally convinced Tyson is ready. He's just doing a lot of stripping, he's also doing a lot of playing with his clothes, so I think it might be more trying to figure out his clothing. I think having as few children in diapers as possible would be wonderful, but I realize this is not about me, it's about Peyton, and for whatever reason, when I show interest in his potty training instead of waiting for him to ask for the potty, he backs right off.
dramagirl, I don't believe there is such a thing as a standard "ready". It's not going to hurt him to sit him on the potty whenever, say, you are getting him changed, washed, bathed, etc.
quote:
Manda, how wonderful that your children could potty train that well! Any time you want to try to lock horns with my son...feel free! Lol, I can't even imagine his wiggly bottom staying on a potty any longer than absolutely necessary.
With my ds, his "bribe" to sit there was a big tub of Vaseline and some cotton buds to poke into it! And sometimes a story. And also a DVD to watch on the potty in the living room (we had one in each room).
quote:
isaacsmom, at 2 we got a few potty training books to read with Peyton, just to get him used to the idea and the terms.
That to me would seem to put pressure on a child, to say what they *should* do. I believe mine would have resisted that, however long I had left it. Neither of them liked doing what they *should*.
Sitting them on there and seeing what happened naturally seemed to be far more effective. As does talking to them when you yourself (or your dh) are on the toilet.
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"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 7:01:34 PM
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nicole6598
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My daughter is training, she is 2 and a few months, I would love her to be good at it by Sept when the new baby arrives, she is handling it really well when she is wearing nothing on her bottom but when I put knickers on her she seems to wet them. At first she loved the knickers so much she didnt want to take them off, I am not sure why she still wets them though, I guess it's hard for her to pull them down quick enough, but it's hard to watch them 24/7 to see when they need to go.
Should I just be asking her every now and again if she needs to go and help her pull her knickers down?
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 7:09:38 PM
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manda59
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Once mine had started to get the hang of it, I'd take them several times a day, often when I went. I'd also always be asking "do you need a wee?" before meals (and wash hands), after meals, before going out, upon coming back home etc etc. I didn't expect them to remember/ask when to go for quite a while.
I also found that having a potty in each room helped - they didn't have so far to go!
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 7:15:01 PM
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isaacsmom
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: isaacsmom
My ds just turned 2 in February, so he won't be ready for a while,
What makes you think he won't be ready for a while? He might not be, but he could well be.
Gentle matter of fact sitting on the potty isn't "pushing". We sit babies in strollers, sit them in highchairs, sit them in carseats - sitting them on the potty can be just as natural.
I know he's not ready because he still shows no interest at all when I ask him about going potty (like when he undresses before his bath). And he's terrified of sitting on the big potty. The little boy I babysit (22 months old) has been using the potty at my house and my ds watches him. So a couple of times I sat him on the potty and he screamed because he is afraid of falling in the big opening (he's afraid of heights, falling). Poor guy! Thus, we brought home the little potty chair for him to hopefully get used to.
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 7:21:39 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: isaacsmom
I know he's not ready because he still shows no interest at all when I ask him about going potty (like when he undresses before his bath)
You don't need to ask him. In fact asking can be pointless as their minds don't know what you are talking about (because they haven't wee'd or poo'd in it yet). Just sit him on it (a little potty not the toilet), clean his teeth or whatever, and let him get used to it without feeling he has to "perform".
Things WILL happen naturally just by him sitting there.
They are actually "ready" as soon as they can sit confidently on their own and sit still for a little while.
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"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 8:02:52 PM
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manda59
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Bribery, dramagirl, bribery!! And distraction!!
A special toy, a story, a song sung together. I sometimes gave my ds a bowl of water to play with - you could even give a water pistol to squirt the bath with (or down the toilet!)
Btw I presume he stands/sits still for having his teeth cleaned and face washed? Try it while he is on the potty!
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"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 8:03:07 PM
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pbaribeault
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In answer to drama girl:
I only throw out the panties she poops in when it is not solid enought to tip out easily. This means I throw out 2 or 3 each week. The panties cost $6.00 (canadian) for 5, and I buy a new pack about every 2 weeks. If I was using Pull-Ups I expect I'd be buying a pack about every 2 weeks, but it would be a cost of $18.00 per pack. Net-savings of $6 per week. Cost of not messing with poop: $1.20 per incident - I'd rather have that than coffee any day.
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 8:15:47 PM
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karlie
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quote:
I only throw out the panties she poops in when it is not solid enought to tip out easily. This means I throw out 2 or 3 each week. The panties cost $6.00 (canadian) for 5, and I buy a new pack about every 2 weeks. If I was using Pull-Ups I expect I'd be buying a pack about every 2 weeks, but it would be a cost of $18.00 per pack. Net-savings of $6 per week. Cost of not messing with poop: $1.20 per incident - I'd rather have that than coffee any day
pbaribeault, I did the same thing with both my girls, and it was worth what little expense it was for the occasional accident. I wasn't about to wash them out, and pull-ups had a backward effect on my youngest daughter...in her mind, they were more like a diaper and she didn't seem to see the need to stay as clean in those as she did in the "big girl panties".
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/28/2007 8:27:58 PM
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nicole6598
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Once mine had started to get the hang of it, I'd take them several times a day, often when I went. I'd also always be asking "do you need a wee?" before meals (and wash hands), after meals, before going out, upon coming back home etc etc. I didn't expect them to remember/ask when to go for quite a while.
I also found that having a potty in each room helped - they didn't have so far to go!
thanks manda, we have a potty in the lounge and any other room is not far from the toilet, and I have been asking her this morning if she needs to go!
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My ds just turned 2 in February, so he won't be ready for a while, but we've started taking some steps. We brought home the potty chair from Grandma's house this weekend and it's sitting in our bathroom next to the big potty so that he can get familiar with it. No pushing yet, it's just there. I guess we'll see! I realize he could be closer to 3 before he does anything, of course.
