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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/26/2007 6:06:12 PM
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reach
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My friend just had her 7th baby. I know she had bf all the rest of her kids, but had problems with #6. She ended up doing both, but more bottle than bf. This one she did not bf at all. She said the hormones was just too much, and it was too hard with all the rest of the kids. So it just depends. I was suprised when I was over there the other day because I was expecting that she would bf. But she did what is working for her family.
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/26/2007 6:09:00 PM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaurainAL
quote:
I went to church with a CNM who was militant about breast feeding to the point that she would attack a stranger's choices in public.
When my SIL's first was a baby, she was accousted by a militant at the mall. The lady noticed that SIL was feeding nephew a bottled and told her that she should be breastfeeding, yada yada yada... to a complete stranger. 
Yeah, I sure such rudeness will convince a lot of new moms to BF! Good gravy.
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/26/2007 6:55:45 PM
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lexie
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quote:
When my SIL's first was a baby, she was accousted by a militant at the mall. The lady noticed that SIL was feeding nephew a bottled and told her that she should be breastfeeding, yada yada yada... to a complete stranger.
That annoys me because there were many times in public that I gave my daughter a bottle....of breast milk.
At first Akeelah would eat off one breast only so sometimes I would pump the other one to relieve the engorgement. So I was able to pop a bottle of milk in the bag and go and not have to worry about scrambling to find a feeding place or wait for the other mom's to be done (I'm not a bf in wide open spaces kind of person).
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Economics is like the Dutch language....I'm told it makes sense, but I seriously have my doubts.
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/26/2007 9:30:26 PM
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firefightermama
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So what would be the appropriate way to incorporate one bottle of formula into our routine without affecting my breastmilk supply?
I think we are going to supplement for mommy's own wellbeing.
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~yolanda~
<-- Me and my baby boy :)
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/26/2007 10:13:17 PM
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manda59
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hought I had better answer my own question! 
I had an emergency Caesarean section under general anaesthetic. I didn't wake up from this till 3+ hours after I'd delivered. My dh had already given our ds a bottle by the time I woke. I fed him for the first 24 hours - I confess I didn't like the sensation at all, but was determined to stick with it for my baby's sake. After 24 hours my ds developed neo-natal jaundice, and they told me to feed him as often as possible; however, his levels were not returning to normal and so they wanted his feeds supplemented with a bottle or two, to wash it all out of his system.
On his 4th night, my ds was particularly unsettled and grizzly. When the morning midwife came on duty, one who I knew from my ante-natal visits, I told her what he'd been like but said he was now sleeping. She felt him, found him hot and whisked him off somewhere. I found out a little later that they were doing a lumbar puncture to test for meningitis.
I visited him frequently in the special care baby unit and fed him (the nurses would call up to my ward when he woke for a feed). I went home and had to leave him there; I'd come back frequently for visits, and would pump milk for them to feed him with when I wasn't there. But they were having to top him up with formula because I just wasn't making enough. It was probably the stress.
When he finally came home, I tried just breast-feeding, often. But there were just too many difficulties - including him preferring one breast to the other, and me getting mastitis in the other one, and the sore chapped nipples that I had, that hurt so much that I wept with pain most every time I fed him. And also him feeding and then throwing up the whole lot, with me emptied out and him still hungry. Thankfully I had some ready-to-use formula that I could give him otherwise I don't know what I would have done. I also just didn't like the feeling of being totally on call 24/7 (realised later I had post-natal depression).
When I went out the next day to buy some tins of formula, I was so ashamed, felt such a failure. I already felt a failure for having had a Caesarean, and this just compounded it. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. When I went into the pharmacy to buy the formula, I kept wondering if people were watching me going up to that part of the display; I wondered if anyone who saw me with the tin would condemn me for giving formula to my baby. Everyone I knew was very pro-breastfeeding and I felt bad for not being able to do it properly. I would meet friends out who'd say "Are you feeding him yourself?" and I would feel like responding "Actually no - I go out into the street and hand him to the first stranger I see  ". 
I started by giving him just one bottle feed per day, and it was SUCH a relief not to have the searing pain, and even not to have him sucking on me (as I still greatly disliked the sensation). It also felt so good to be able to have my dh feed him, meaning I could have a little break and a bit of time to myself. I also started to enjoy feeding times more; it had felt like he needed every ounce of energy I had and then some - more than I could give. Bottle feeding meant I could cuddle him and enjoy the closeness, rather than being anxious about not having enough.
My ds seemed to sleep better at nights on formula, and it worked well for us in many ways, so by 6 weeks he was on half and half. By 3 months he was fully bottle-fed. It was so much easier and less stressful all round. I did regret that I had not been able to do it for longer, but felt I had given him a good start.
With my dd, 4 years later, I was happy to try again with breastfeeding. But after 24 hours, she too developed neo-natal jaundice and needed supplementary bottles to flush it out of her system. I tried breastfeeding exclusively when I went home, but she clearly preferred the bottle and so by 3 weeks she was on half and half; by 6 weeks she was exclusively bottle-fed. I would have liked to have breastfed her even partially up to 3 months like her brother, but it was just not to be. Breastfeeding was just too stressful for me. Instead of something natural, it felt awkward and literally draining. And I still didn't like the sensation, or the feeling of being needed so much. Thankfully, second time around, I didn't feel so ashamed, didn't feel such a failure.
Both my children had virtually illness-free childhoods and have no allergies. They're now teenagers aged 18 and 14, and are still hardly ever unwell (one cold each per year is the average!)
(
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"WAY TO GO Manda! ....Excellent advice! You've done it again!"
(BlessedMamaofmany, June 2008)
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/26/2007 10:44:17 PM
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clag4christ
Posts: 3046
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quote:
So what would be the appropriate way to incorporate one bottle of formula into our routine without affecting my breastmilk supply?
Yolanda,
With Hannah we supplemented after feedings so she wasn't getting a bottle (in the beginning of the supplementing) alone. If you want to do it that way it won't affect your supply. If you want to cut out a feeding from the breast and give a bottle instead it will affect your supply...but that's what you're wanting...a break from a feeding. It won't affect your other feedings, just the one you're substituting with a bottle. If you're careful to do it at roughly the same time everyday you'll be fine. And if you decide later that you want to stop the bottle...just start introducing the breast back at that time and your body will re-adjust to have more milk for that feeding.
Blessings,
Kim
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<-----Sweet Jael
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/27/2007 1:29:32 AM
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nicole6598
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I did what Kim suggested, we stuck to just before bed time (which is when your milk is at its lowest anyway) then Grace would sleep quite a few hours then I would just feed her in the middle of the night when she woke. It was good for me, hubby and Grace.
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/27/2007 7:26:35 AM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1859
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quote:
ORIGINAL: nicole6598
I did what Kim suggested, we stuck to just before bed time (which is when your milk is at its lowest anyway) then Grace would sleep quite a few hours then I would just feed her in the middle of the night when she woke. It was good for me, hubby and Grace.
I agree that if someone needs (or wants) to supplement they need to choose a feeding to do it for rather than just random, however I must challenge the statement that your milk is at its lowest before bed time. In many women, this is when their milk supply is at its highest. It may seem it is at its lowest because baby tends to nurse more (in order to tank up for the night), and for some women, it may be when their milk supply is lowest, but it cannot be stated as a blanket statement.
I also have to state that I always think breast is best, because God made it, BUT it is not always possible, whether it be because of physical, emotional, or other reasons (such as a mom having to work, etc).
_____________________________
"It is better to debate
an IMPORTANT matter without settling it
than to settle it without debating it"
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/28/2007 8:52:13 AM
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DenimDiva
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quote:
ORIGINAL: W.O.F.
I also have to state that I always think breast is best, because God made it, BUT it is not always possible, whether it be because of physical, emotional, or other reasons (such as a mom having to work, etc).
Exactly!
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/29/2007 8:48:20 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2237
Joined: 7/7/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
And also him feeding and then throwing up the whole lot, with me emptied out and him still hungry. Thankfully I had some ready-to-use formula that I could give him otherwise I don't know what I would have done. I also just didn't like the feeling of being totally on call 24/7 (realised later I had post-natal depression).
When I went out the next day to buy some tins of formula, I was so ashamed, felt such a failure. I already felt a failure for having had a Caesarean, and this just compounded it. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. When I went into the pharmacy to buy the formula, I kept wondering if people were watching me going up to that part of the display; I wondered if anyone who saw me with the tin would condemn me for giving formula to my baby. Everyone I knew was very pro-breastfeeding and I felt bad for not being able to do it properly. I would meet friends out who'd say "Are you feeding him yourself?" and I would feel like responding "Actually no - I go out into the street and hand him to the first stranger I see ".
Bottle feeding meant I could cuddle him and enjoy the closeness, rather than being anxious about not having enough.
Oh Manda, this describes how I felt with Timmy exactly. Everytime I'd go to nurse Timmy, I would get anxious thinking "Oh, I hope I have enough, what if I don't, what if he screams his head off after he empties me?" I really mourned the loss of milk supply, and it did such a number on my mental health.
Everytime Jimmy gets on the breast, I thank God that it goes so well and I'm able to satisfy him, and it's not painful, he just hooks right on.
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/29/2007 10:27:27 PM
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Hazel2
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Hi Ladies ... I posted earlier about my bf experience with Claire. My bfing this time is interesting ... as I said before, my goal is to get some breastmilk into Avery until she is six months old. It turns out (thanks to God), she prefers the breast to the bottle. I tend to bottle feed her unless my breasts are on full, but this baby knows when she wants to nurse! At certain feedings, she just won't take the bottle ... it is wonderful because it keeps me bfing when, frankly, I'd prefer to not. It is a nice time to cuddle up together and it always satisfies her ... but she does finish off with a few ounces of formula after we nurse.
Kim, the pain in the first two weeks was intense! Literally like having a nipple bitten repeatedly until it blistered and bled. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to avoid pain like that. Formula gave me feedings off until my nipples healed up a little. If some women can nurse faithfully through that, then my hat is off to them!!
I trust God will cause my little girl to flourish in spite of her diet being "mixed". Btw, did you all know that the #1 ingredient in formula is corn syrup? No wonder babies take right to it! Part of me hates formula and thinks formula companies are like tobacco companies. They are lurking around when you give birth, waiting to get you and your newborn hooked. It does make me mad, but at the same time, I am so glad there is some alternative!
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Will you please remember my husband, John, in prayer He is not saved. Thank you and God bless you!
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/29/2007 10:38:55 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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Hazel, your body is capable of making enough milk for Avery. Probably if you supplemented less and nursed more things would pick up although I certainly understand the ease of formula, I've given in to it several times myself
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"No firebrands, or deadly arrows just a Springfield XD .40 with Tritium sights" Patriotism
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/29/2007 11:45:04 PM
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nicole6598
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I haven't had to use formula at all with nathaniel, I just let him nurse and nurse and nurse and my milk supply is great, with Grace i didn't let her nurse very much as I hated it which is why she was probably always so hungry and why I had to feed her so often!
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that is a dolphin at our beach
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/30/2007 6:19:52 AM
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joannepir
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I breastfed all of my four children but only breastfed my second child for a short time. I had gall bladder surgery and weaned him early. He didn't like to be held really close anyway and was very happy taking a bottle. I felt really guilty about it because I had been going to LaLeche Meetings. In this particular group, they made you feel that even if you supplemented with formula that you weren't doing best for your child. To compensate for those guilt feelings, I wouldn't let anyone else give my child a bottle - I said the milk should come from the mom.
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/30/2007 6:47:46 PM
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Kath
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Just a reminder that this thread is a support thread for those who for one reason or another did not breast feed or breast fed for a limited time. I understand we would want to encourage someone to bf when we read about their struggle but this is not the thread for it as it would take it off topic. If one feels the urge to encourage a mom they can certainly send them a PM unless requested not to. Thanks!
Kath
Do not respond to this communication in the forums or send me a PM about it. If you have questions please email community@salemwebnetwork.com allowing time for a reply. Thanks!
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/30/2007 8:57:57 PM
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scbusf
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Here's my experience with DS. He was 3 1/2 weeks early, but he nursed like a champ in the hospital. When we got home, though, different story. He flat out refused to nurse. I had an epidural headache, and had to go back into the hospital when Luke was about 5 days old. The headache really made me unable to function. So that might have had something to do with it. I don't know.
We spent the next 6 weeks trying to get him to nurse, then giving him formula, then me pumping. We tried everything. After 6 weeks, I needed my sanity back, and we stopped trying. Truthfully, it was a pretty traumatic 6 weeks for all of us.
He is now 15 months old, and is so far perfectly healthy. He is even in day care, and has only had maybe 2 colds in his life.
Formula is not evil ........ I am thankful for formula!!! I was able to provide for Luke's needs with it.
He is our last (and only) biological child. I was curious as to how the next one would BF, but there will only be adoptive children from now on!
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~~Sherry~~
"Come and listen,
come and listen to what He's done.
Praise our God for He is good."
David Crowder Band ~ Come and Listen
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 10/30/2007 9:04:12 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey
Probably if you supplemented less and nursed more things would pick up although I certainly understand the ease of formula, I've given in to it several times myself
I nursed as much as I possible could have with my ds and it was AWFUL, I never had enough. Bottle-feeding was not something I "gave in to", it was a necessity. For both of us.
I know you did, Manda. Sorry for offering advice in your thread 
_____________________________
Ryanne Gabriella Alexis born 8-22-07!
"No firebrands, or deadly arrows just a Springfield XD .40 with Tritium sights" Patriotism
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 11/1/2007 1:18:20 PM
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LaurainAL
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quote:
Formula is not evil ........ I am thankful for formula!!! I was able to provide for Luke's needs with it.
My son would have starved with out it so I am grateful for it too.
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My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy! ~Thomas Jefferson
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 11/10/2007 2:13:07 PM
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W.O.F.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey
Probably if you supplemented less and nursed more things would pick up although I certainly understand the ease of formula, I've given in to it several times myself
I nursed as much as I possible could have with my ds and it was AWFUL, I never had enough. Bottle-feeding was not something I "gave in to", it was a necessity. For both of us.
and that is why God gave us the technology for formula...for those times when, for whatever reason, breastfeeding does not work.
_____________________________
"It is better to debate
an IMPORTANT matter without settling it
than to settle it without debating it"
~Anonymous~
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 11/10/2007 2:14:18 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1859
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joannepir
I breastfed all of my four children but only breastfed my second child for a short time. I had gall bladder surgery and weaned him early. He didn't like to be held really close anyway and was very happy taking a bottle. I felt really guilty about it because I had been going to LaLeche Meetings. In this particular group, they made you feel that even if you supplemented with formula that you weren't doing best for your child. To compensate for those guilt feelings, I wouldn't let anyone else give my child a bottle - I said the milk should come from the mom.
Hey...whatever works...and besides..it gave you a good excuse to rest and settle and bond...which is the whole point about feeding baby anyway....
_____________________________
"It is better to debate
an IMPORTANT matter without settling it
than to settle it without debating it"
~Anonymous~
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 11/10/2007 4:21:01 PM
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wisdomseeker67
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Did breast-feeding just not work out for you?
1st child was bf for 3 months when I dried up without even realizing it. 2nd child bf for 1 month when I switched to formula. 3rd child bf for 1 week and the last one I didn't even try.
Did you just not like it?
No, I truly did not like it. I understood the cost-benefits, the advantages for baby and convenience which is why I did it for the first couple of babies. My first was early and had to stay in the hospital so bf had the additional plus of keeping us close. Once he was released, however, it was too overwhelming for me. By the time I had my last baby, I determined before I even went into the hospital that I would formula feed and I was a calmer and more relaxed mom that I had been with the others. Could have been also b/c I was much more experienced and practiced as a mom.
Were there particular problems that you found made things just too difficult?
Latching was a problem with my second one. The nurse who was coaching me was a bit of a bully and I just got so frustrated with it all. I wanted to enjoy my baby and not battle with him all the time. So maybe someone could say I wasn't committed enough but I gave it my best effort and it wasn't good enough. Not having to breast feed relaxed me so that I could focus on meeting my baby's needs in a better frame of mind.
Did you feel, and/or were you made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding at all/beyond a certain point?
No one made me feel guilty but I received alot of pressure from the hospital staff which was so not helpful. I refused to feel guilty over this issue. I didn't like to be pressured to the point where it felt like my baby's life depended on my breast. I will not pressure anyone to decided one method is better than another, especially to new moms. I agree that moms need good and correct information but that the choice needs to lay with them and be respected.
< Message edited by wisdomseeker67 -- 11/10/2007 5:50:49 PM >
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 3/4/2008 11:28:51 AM
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justjennhere
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I so desperately wanted to breastfeed my first daughter and managed to do it for all of one week. I convinced myself and everyone else that I quit because I had PPD, she wasn't latching on very consistently (it was a fight every time), we were getting ready to move half a world away in a few weeks, etc, etc. I tried to breastfeed my second daughter a year later, and she was a champ when it came to nursing. She had no problems... however, I started to feel like I was losing my grip on reality and that the world was falling apart every time I would fill up with milk, just like I felt with my first daughter! (I can't explain it. I would just start to panic!) Maybe if I had given it longer, I would have felt differently, but honestly -- I couldn't function and take care of a baby and my tiny toddler on my own while feeling like that. With my first daughter, I hated myself for secretly feeling this way and battled guilt over it for a long, long time. With my second daughter, I knew that there was far more to being a good mother than nursing a baby. When I gave it up, I felt like a world of weight was being lifted off of my shoulders. Kudos to you ladies who can do it and love it! I know that it takes sacrifice and hard work, and I think it's awesome that you are able to give your children this gift! However, we're not all wired the same way, and though I would have loved to have given both of my girls the benefit of breastmilk, it was more important in my circumstance to give them the benefit of a sane mother. Ha!
I know that this is an old thread, but I wanted to post this in case there are new moms reading, looking for some affirmation that they ARE good mothers, even if breastfeeding just wasn't for them. No one can completely understand YOUR situation, and you should never be made to feel guilty for making the best choice for your family. God bless them, if your lactation consultants, family members, friends, etc, continue to make you feel bad about yourself because you "just didn't try hard enough," remember that YOU are the one God appointed as parent of your precious child. (My husband was a big supporter, and we made these decisions together. If he had been more adamant about breastfeeding, I probably would have continued on, wanting to respect his decision. Thankfully, though, he was the first one to suggest formula when he saw what a mess I was becoming.)
Formula isn't as good as breastmilk, I know, but I have two healthy, happy, little girls who thrived on it. God is good!
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since Bug gets all his breastmilk from a bottle. It would seriously tempted to put down the bottle of breast milk and get out the emergency back-up formula stick and bottled water to feed him instead just for spite! 
I wouldn't because I refuse to let some one like that cause me to make a less than optimum choice for my son...but still. That is just totally uncalled for and it is certainly not going to encourage anyone to bf. 
