RE: When breast WASN'T best (Full Version)

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manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 7:22:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nicole6598
I tried him on 2 diff types a month ago and he just spat it out.



Did you try it warmed?

If the paed says it's ok, you could maybe express some of your own and mix it with formula - he might be more inclined to take it like that to start with.

I've lost all track of time at the moment - how old is Nath now?



PrincessDonna -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 7:22:48 PM)

Formula has a much different taste and probably even texture than breastmilk. Babies aren't known for liking change.[;)]

I hope the doctor can help you figure it out, Nicole. I know it's been a rough time pretty much since he was born, and I know how exhausting that can be, from experiencing it with other issues.



nicole6598 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 7:25:48 PM)

He is about 6.5 months. Yes I tried it warmed and I tried it cooled. But it could be because it was the 2nd week of drinking from a cup/bottle. So I could try again, but I don't want to give him anything that would make his wind/reflux whatever it is worse.
Thanks Donna, yes it has been hard, and this is def the last baby I want to have. Again, if that makes me sound bad then so be it, but I can't handle this baby stage very well.



Mrs.X -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 7:59:45 PM)

Nicole, I tried giving Jimmy formula a month or so ago (he was biting me a lot) and he spat it out too. Timmy had it on a regular basis since two months along with being nursed, so I think maybe babies have to kind of grow up with to want to take it, KWIM?

Manda had a great idea about mixing your breastmilk with it. We did that when we transitioned Timmy from formula to cow's milk We started Timmy with just 2oz. of cow's milk and 4oz. of formula to make a 6oz. bottle. We also did that with formula and breastmilk when I couldn't pump enough to last my whole shift.

I just thought of something else too. When I was trying to get Jimmy to nurse, I would give him the bottle for a few minutes then sneak my breast in there after he got a little sleepy. Maybe you could do the opposite. It'd be worth a shot. I've only got a month to go before Jimmy can get whole milk, so I don't think I'll really try it. I'm sick of pumping too. And, we only have one bottle left.

When Timmy started getting mostly formula, I noticed he slept better and was less gassy and spitup-y. I hope that happens for you. I hope when Jimmy gets weaned he'll sleep better too. He still wakes up every three hours. I'm hoping the whole milk will magically do something. LOL! Or, maybe I can talk Robert into getting up with him one night on the weekend. Wouldn't that benice?



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 8:09:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

Did breast-feeding just not work out for you?

Did you just not like it?

Were there particular problems that you found made things just too difficult?

Did you feel, and/or were you made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding at all/beyond a certain point?


This is the OP.

I think if someone here has a specific case where someone was harrasing them or making them feel guilty about bottle feeding, it should be okay to come in here and talk about your specific case.

Probably what the moderators would like to avoid are generalized frustrations towards aggressive breast feeding advocates, that could boil over and create hard feelings between the women here on this forum. I know I am sometimes guilty of this myself.



nicole6598 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 8:09:13 PM)

Thanks Christina- I will wait til Tuesday to see what the Paedtrican says, but yeah I wouldn't like to go from a sweet tasting thing to a yucky tasting formula :) Grace had a bottle of formula from day 4 so she was used to it when we gave it to her even though she had breastmilk too.
Yeah hubby's getting up once would be lovely, mine is working all weekend now [&:]



manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 8:12:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nicole6598
I wouldn't like to go from a sweet tasting thing to a yucky tasting formula :)



Have you actually tasted your breastmilk?[8|][sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif]



nicole6598 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 8:18:53 PM)

LOL Manda, I haven't but well, someone else in my household has [:)][;)]

Ruth- you are brave, that's what I was alluding too in my post, that I thought that what the previous posts were was simply talking about the frustrations of how some people are feeling about other women here or IRL. I think its hard when you do have women on here who strongly advocate breastfeeding (which is fine!!) and others who don't think much of it. I thought this was a thread where you could talk about those frustrations, but I guess you have to do it in a way that doesn't create conflict as was said by the mods and as you have said yourself. I know I sometimes think about breastfeeding or other issues negatively about others' opinions that are different to mine, but in the end they are just opinions arent they?



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 9:50:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

quote:

ORIGINAL: nicole6598
I wouldn't like to go from a sweet tasting thing to a yucky tasting formula :)



Have you actually tasted your breastmilk?[8|][sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif]

Actually, it's not that bad. I was just curious. I have no idea what formula tastes like.



Mrs.X -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 9:55:29 PM)

It tastes just like it smells.....nasty! LOL! One time when Timmy was almost a year I made his regular oatmeal with formula, and he didn't finish it, and I accidentally ate a bite thinking it was mine,and I nearly threw up.



Krislynx -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 10:08:13 PM)

I tried both my breast milk and the formula - very different taste and texture. Sorry if that is going to cause the [:'(] smileys to pop up!

Speaking of breast milk, Bug has had his last ounce. The pumping has just gotten to be way too much for me and it appears to be destroying my left nipple as well. Some time in the last couple of weeks it cracked and despite adjusting the pump speed and slathering it with lanolin it is now cracked in 4 places. One of them is deep and weeps all the time. Unfortunately I did not realize how bad it was until this morning when just turning the pump on was torture. So I quit today. I was cutting back in preparation to stop in a couple of weeks anyway so hopefully it will go alright. I am sad about it, I had really wanted to make it to a year but he requires too much of my attention to pump during the day and only 3x/day was not really accomplishing enough to warrant continuing even before my nipples got so bad.

One thing that I have been disappointed and frustrated about is the lack of support that I received about pumping for Bug. I am not saying that I deserve (or need) great applause and accolades, but a little support and encouragement would have been nice along the way. I got the most understanding here and that was much appreciated. I guess part of the problem was that I didn't know where to post - I wasn't sure if I could do it here and I always felt ignored or put down in the other threads. I have actually reached a point where I have decided that I just can't post much on "hot button" issues because I don't agree with a lot of other people and I don't need the stress.

Nicole, you are NOT a bad mom for breast feeding because it is good for Nath and not from some innate enjoyment. I made the decision to nurse and then pump because of the health benefits. I never really wanted to do it for bonding or closeness etc. I feel well bonded and very close to Bug without being able to nurse him directly.

Kris



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/10/2008 11:31:08 PM)

I think it's a falsehood that breast feeding is more bonding then bottle feeding. My closest bonding moments with Nathan are generally not when I'm nursing him, but other times, when we're snuggling or playing together.

Kris, I'm sorry you haven't gotten good support for pumping. From everything I've heard it is extremely demanding. I believe there are some women who are pregnant now who are considering pumping and mostly what they're hearing is "Pumping didn't work for me". Maybe you can offer them some advice/encouragement because you've been there.

I think God created pumping and formula just as much as He created direct breast feeding. No single way is "God's designed way for feeding a baby". It's all God's way, because all ways allow us to nourish our children.



manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 6:13:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelMagnolia
It tastes just like it smells.....nasty! LOL! One time when Timmy was almost a year I made his regular oatmeal with formula, and he didn't finish it, and I accidentally ate a bite thinking it was mine,and I nearly threw up.



That's because our adult palates are accustomed to sugar and salt, and formula contains neither.



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 6:46:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59
That's because our adult palates are accustomed to sugar and salt, and formula contains neither.


Well, that's why it tastes so different then breastmilk. Breast milk contains a great deal of sugar.



JoyfulLady -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 10:37:40 AM)

Kris, this is what I've always thought you are: [sm=icon_smile_super.gif] [:D] To pump that long for Bug is incredible. I exclusively pumped for 2 1/2 months and just couldn't do it anymore!



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 11:01:28 AM)

Amber, are you doing formula only now?

Nicole, you can ask the Paed, when you go, for some different formula samples to try. In the US I know alot of breastfeeding mom's like Good Start best for supplementing with, they think it has a better consistency.



Mrs.X -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 11:21:12 AM)

I've heard that too about Good Start. Supposed to be real easy on baby's tummy too in terms of gas because it has partially broken down milk proteins. We never used it because WIC only covered Enfamil.



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 12:32:25 PM)

Hardly, m'dear. Expressing frustration over pressure to breast feed does not equate to bashing of breast feeding itself. That would make little sense since many women here have or are breast feeding.



landabee -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 1:37:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

Did breast-feeding just not work out for you?


Yes, with ds#1. No with ds#2

quote:

Did you just not like it?


I enjoyed it immensely.


quote:


Were there particular problems that you found made things just too difficult?


With ds#2, I had to return to work three weeks postpartum. I was in the throes of a divorce, new to a job with no vacation time. The three weeks I took off after birth were unpaid.


quote:


Did you feel, and/or were you made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding at all/beyond a certain point?


Yes. There were women in my former local congregation with viewpoints much like some posters in the breast feeding thread.


I post in this thread because I wish the same RESPECT for choices that women make in choosing how to feed, birth and be a Christian woman for that matter.

quote:

=
(Note: yes of course breast milk is what is best for babies for a whole variety of reasons, not the least being the antibodies it provides. This is not intended to be a debate thread - rather a sharing and support thread for those mums for whom breastfeeding just didn't work out or wasn't an option.)


I totally agree.

Frustration is hard to deal with, when expression of such is seen as failure or worse.

And when the pressure women feel to breastfeed is viewed as imagined.

I pulled up the OP in effort to better stay on topic. This thread is needed to edify women that for whatever reasons choose not to breastfeed or find it difficult.



manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 1:53:08 PM)

This thread is supposed to be (as stated in my OP) "a sharing and support thread for those mums for whom breastfeeding just didn't work out or wasn't an option". Some of that support will necessarily need to be related to feeling guilty, or being made to feel guilty, for not breastfeeding at all or beyond a certain point.

To be supported involves feeling able to share what is troubling us - and that may involve expressing pain, distress or frustration over pressure that we experienced either directly or indirectly.

I sincerely hope that women in this situation will still feel able to share in this thread, since there is really not anywhere else that it would appear appropriate to do so.



reach -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 1:55:03 PM)

I know that I am planning on bottle feeding some feedings. Especially since I will be working, and I want my morning husband to be able to get up with the baby in the morning and feed him/her. If I am able to pump this bottle, great. If not, I will use formula. This will give me a few hours sleep, so I don't go crazy. I am a night owl, so I could do the night feeding, as long as I get my sleep in the morning. My husband is up at 5am, so why not feed and change the baby and let me sleep. That makes for very happy parents. I know that I am talking about a perfect world, but hey, I can dream!

I am not against formula or breast feeding. To be honest, I would probably not BF at all if it wasn't for the cost of formula, and God gave us the ability to make it, why pay for it. (That is my husband speaking through me).



JoyfulLady -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 3:37:35 PM)

quote:

Amber, are you doing formula only now?


Yes. I still sometimes feel guilty. [8|] But, it's so much easier on me, and yes, easier on Levi!



landabee -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 3:41:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoyfulLady

quote:

Amber, are you doing formula only now?


Yes. I still sometimes feel guilty. [8|] But, it's so much easier on me, and yes, easier on Levi!


Never feel guilty about making a choice that is good for yourself, children, marriage, family. Pray..... then choose accordingly.

If you are being spoonfed guilt and/or disapproval......... get up from that table. [;)]

You are an awesome mom!



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 3:46:13 PM)

I knew a woman who was trying to BF twins, and exhausted to the point of being almost delusional. So her husband made an executive decision, and picked up one twin, fed him a bottle and told her that they would switch off each feeding (one breast, one formula). As far as I know, it worked out well.

She was made to feed guilty, too, and I got an earful from her husband. He and I worked together, and it was at my job's baby shower for me, that he was telling me all about the "stuff" that had been fed to her about how if breastfeeding wasn't working, then it was all her fault. He was pretty mad.

ETA: I guessed she'd tried to simultaneously feed, but it didn't work. The husband reported that no adult slept in that house for the fist month. [8D]



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (4/11/2008 3:59:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoyfulLady

quote:

Amber, are you doing formula only now?


Yes. I still sometimes feel guilty. [8|] But, it's so much easier on me, and yes, easier on Levi!


Don't worry about it! Gabby and I are both much happier(and she is much fatter) with the formula!



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