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TMeeks -> RE: All I can say is.. I'm in need of prayer. (12/13/2007 9:50:11 PM)
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The more I read cases like this, where a Christian marries someone they think is a Christian only to experience the worst the world has to offer at their hands, the more I begin to wonder if the goats don't outnumber the sheep.
Your husband and his entire family have severe control issues. Perhaps the most insidious form is the passive aggressive nature of your husband's mother. It seems obvious to me that your husband's parents probably have an extremely poor relationship and feel the need to keep their son inside their loop of communication so that they don't have to deal with their OWN issues.
As long as mommy and daddy can focus on poor little son-i-kins big bad wife, who just HAD to be the cause of little son-i-kin's rampant sin, then their marriage moves forward as it always has... dysfunctional and anything but Christ-like.
If I thought for one minute that your husband and his parents had a clue as to the true purpose and pattern that God has for a marriage that mirrors Christ's love for His church, then I'd say give it a try. But, if just half of what you say is true in such a short marriage, then I have to believe that staying would actually be repudiating the very concept of the sacredness of marriage.
My conclusion is that you most likely married a non-believer that knows a lot about Jesus; but, has no real relationship with Him. He's most likely a goat not a sheep. Sheep don't need to stay with goats that think their job is to push them around and inflict physical pain on sheep.
But, having said this, I also see some real potential co-dependency behaviors here and, possibly some boundary issues that you might want to make sure you deal with in your own life before even thinking about another man. Right now just about ANY man that shows any sort of consideration is going to look sweet and compassionate. But, that is under VERY different circumstances than under the pressures of marriage. It's easy to appear sweet and compassionate when there aren't bills to pay, diapers to change and loss of sleep with a crying baby! Please see a counselor for a good long time before even considering beginning a new relationship. Or, you could find yourself right back in the frying pan.
Finally, take this OPPORTUNITY... Yes, I said OPPORTUNITY... to examine our own relationship with Jesus Christ. It's clear from the Scriptures that when we have a real relationship with Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, then we will exhibit love, joy, peace and other fruits of the Spirit. You now know what hurt really is and you can use this to realize that when we fail to give Jesus Christ our lives fully and unconditionally we hurt Him just as we have been hurt by others. Use this time in your life to soar in the wind of the love of Jesus. Embrace Him and give your whole heart to him for, unlike your husband, He will NEVER hurt you and never condemn you.
I have found that those who look on the failure of their marriage as an opportunity to grow are the ones that end up having the happiest prospects for the future. Those that look backwards in condemnation and bitterness over their partner's failures, rarely move beyond the past and rarely have bright futures. Please don't let bitterness rob you of the joy that God has in store for you. Focus on being the best mom you can be and the most obedient follower of Jesus Christ that you can be.
In John 10:10 we read this:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Satan's work is unconditional. He's highly focused. Notice that the ONLY goal Satan, the thief, has is to steal and kill and destroy. At the very least he is trying to steal your happiness, kill your spirit and destroy your testimony.
But, also notice that Christ's reason for coming has some elements of conditionality as revealed by the word 'may' (Or, 'might' in other translations). He offers both Life and Abundant Life. But, it's up to us to let Him give us both. When Satan overplays his hand, as he has in your marriage, it becomes a wakeup call to us to turn AWAY from the thief and run into the arms of the one that truly loves us. You have your whole life ahead of you. Let Jesus make it an abundant one... overflowing with so much of His fruit that some day you can be up here encouraging others, with hope, that find themselves in your situation. May God bless you.
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