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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/2/2008 1:08:56 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11987
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: Between Hither and Yon
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quote:
OK, I've been resting and doing very, very little the last couple of days. My husband is more than willing to help out, I just hated asking him. But I've started asking him and telling him things that need to be done.
we find that what works best is every day for me to make a list of things that MUST be done, things that need to be done, and things that it would be great if they were done but aren't necessary. This helps hubby to prioritize and still do things that really need to be done without me turning into a nag.
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"Some [babies] are just so inexplicably persnickety and unpleasing that it's easy to imagine that they were not actually floating in amniotic fluid but in pickle juice!" -Maggie (3cappuccinosmom)
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/2/2008 1:45:54 PM
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TwinCityGirl
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Hi, Amber, and congratulations!
My sister had a C-section with her twin boys on November 3rd. At her 6-week check-up the doctor told her it is NORMAL to have pain on one side of your incision (or the other) for UP TO A YEAR after the surgery. Very, very normal.
He also told her some of her other pains were from her organs trying to make their way back to the now-empty spaces caused by the twins' vacancy, and that it would hurt for a bit while things made their way back to where they were pre-pregnancy.
She is really picky about her house being clean (in a good way picky) but with twins, and being a first-time mom -- even when her very, very critical mother-in-law stops over and makes snide comments on "If I'd paid what you'd paid for these hard-wood floors I would try to keep them a little cleaner", she has learned to BLOW THAT OFF. She has even told her MIL multiple times (fairly politely, but sternly if she has to) "Right now my priority is our two boys. Their feeding and care is my FIRST and ONLY priority right now. The floors can wait." And her MIL always backs down and tries to make it all jokey "Oh, I was kidding...." etc., but my sister knows she is NOT kidding about such things.
And now that her boys are 8 weeks old she has found short smidgens of time here and there when they are sleeping when she blitzes through the house and sweeps the floors or unloads the dishwasher (her husband is back at work, and yes, he is helpful when he's there). But I think it's normal and totally okay to let things slide a little bit when your newborn and you are getting in sync with each other. It is far more important your baby learns how to nurse properly than for you to have the laundry put away.
I'm sure it's a hard adjustment to go from a 2-person adult household where you can have it as clean as you want whenever you want to a 2-adult/1-newborn household where there are also pain issues, physical healing, lack of rest, and skills for baby and parents to learn going on. Make sure to cut yourself some big-time slack on all the topsy-turviness your little one has brought into your house (the best topsy-turviness you can get!).
Congratulations, again, Amber!
Jeanie
p.s. I have a close friend who had a C-section 11 months ago and is still dealing with pain issues from the surgery. She was relieved to hear that my sister's doctor told her that is not at all unusual. Maybe not all doctors will be that blunt about it, but it brought my friend some comfort that she is "normal".
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/2/2008 3:49:37 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11987
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From: Between Hither and Yon
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quote:
Sarah, that is a really great idea about the lists!!
lol...the wisdom of having had several babies and been on bed rest and all sorts of other things. I had to learn that one the hard way...and I am sure it wouldn't work for everyone, but it works best for us. Also on the lists...I try to not overload each section...I really analyze things before writing them down in each column. I like using a white board or chalk board...easily erased when each thing is done.
From my experience I can tell you this....I usually feel so much better after the baby is born that I go insane doing so much...then after about 2-3 weeks it catches up with me and I end up back in bed for a few weeks. Really listen to your body though. Stop if you have to and rest when you need to. Your body not only went through labor (a pretty hard one at that) but add to that you having major abdominal surgery too...lots of pokes with needles and lots of chemicals in your body to do all sorts of different things...and the hormone levels coming down from your being pregnant. It's all a whilrwind sometimes and it's easy to get caught up in that...but looking back over the kids I have I really enjoyed and remember more the times we were just relaxing together as a family and not worrying about the house or the dust or the dishes. Invest in paper plates and lots of garbage bags...they are a great time saver and sanity saver for keeping things a bit cleaner.
_____________________________
"Some [babies] are just so inexplicably persnickety and unpleasing that it's easy to imagine that they were not actually floating in amniotic fluid but in pickle juice!" -Maggie (3cappuccinosmom)
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/8/2008 11:25:01 PM
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TammyIsBlessed
Posts: 1703
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But definitely use the KY jelly at first!!!
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 12:10:15 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 5112
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From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TammyIsBlessed
But definitely use the KY jelly at first!!!
Absolutely!
We were "back to normal" within 3 weeks, my stitches weren't even totally dissolved, although everything was pretty fully healed.
I have a question... do you have less pain in the "hooha" after you have a c-section? Or is it still affected by the hormone changes?
I am having my first PP AF  I knew it was coming, but I did not want it to actually happen... well, I did but, ya know. With my period came my first migraine since the first trimester of pregnancy, I'm more upset about that then the cramps I have. Time to pull out my thermometer 
_____________________________
Ryanne Gabriella Alexis born 8-22-07!
The opinions stated in the above post are solely mine and in no way should they be
construed as offensive due to your own insecurity.
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 7:36:17 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10716
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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Jessica, we're all different and our bodies heal differently. I know other people who have waited 6-8 weeks after every baby, so you're not alone. Not everyone will be ready sooner, but there is not a huge reason to wait if you both are ready and are careful.
_____________________________
Does God see?
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen. 2 Cor. 4:18
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 7:53:10 AM
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PrudentWife
Posts: 2087
Joined: 1/25/2006
From: The Promised Land
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quote:
I have a question... do you have less pain in the "hooha" after you have a c-section? Or is it still affected by the hormone changes?
I had severe swelling for 24 hours, but that is only because I pushed for 3 hours. But I had no pain or tearing because I never pushed anything out of it. We waited 3 weeks, and it was pretty uncomfortable because my parts had tightened up like they had never been used before. I had never gone that long without activity. I don't know if I had dryness because we always used spermicide.
*******
Amber, I had on & off bleeding for 6 weeks. It would die down to nothing, then get a little heavier. My OB said some women take 3 months to stop bleeding completely. As long as it's not clotty or heavy like a period, you are probably fine. It is annoying bleeding though!! I bought Cottonelle wipes to use during that time so I won't feel icky for 6 weeks strait.
_____________________________
Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:01:37 AM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: paulsbride
 Ok, I'll be the odd one out... we waited till about 6-7 weeks pp. It was tough, seeing as we'd waited so long before hand (me being on bed rest) but really, we tried, and I *was not* ready for it earlier than the 6-7 week mark (*I* was, down there was not!)
SO many women say they resumed sex within 2-4 weeks after having a baby, I struggled with not being able to jump back so quickly... and I think it's important to stand up and say that we waited (hubby was definitely supportive and patient!!) and we survived the wait, and it was just too painful to resume any sooner.
But if you can start sooner, by all means do!
We waited as well, and I'm not ashamed of it. My husband was also very kind and patient. Even when we did resume intimacy, it was not the same for months and months. Only one position was possible for us for a long while, and I had a lot of pain and dryness.
You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:06:14 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10716
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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quote:
You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.
Maybe I'm abnormal, but I wanted that connection almost as much as my husband did. There was no pressure by either of us and he would have waited if I needed him to.
_____________________________
Does God see?
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen. 2 Cor. 4:18
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:12:57 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 2519
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
quote:
You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.
Maybe I'm abnormal, but I wanted that connection almost as much as my husband did. There was no pressure by either of us and he would have waited if I needed him to.
And that's fine, Donna. I'm not looking down on those who didn't wait. If you were ready and it presented no physical danger, then I'm glad for you.
But I do believe a lot of women feel pressured into "meeting their husband's needs", before they are physically or emotionally ready.
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:15:51 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10716
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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Okay, I must have misread what you wrote because I thought you were saying that if people had relations earlier than "recommended", they were feeling pressure to do so.
Some may pressure themselves, and some husbands may put pressure on too. But SOME people are also emotionally and physically ready earlier than 6 weeks, and I think that's perfectly okay.
Amber sounded like she wanted to know when she could, not when she had to.
_____________________________
Does God see?
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen. 2 Cor. 4:18
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:30:19 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 5112
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
quote:
You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.
Maybe I'm abnormal, but I wanted that connection almost as much as my husband did. There was no pressure by either of us and he would have waited if I needed him to.
Your not abnormal, I felt the same way. It also wasn't just a physical need that wanted met, it was emotional.
_____________________________
Ryanne Gabriella Alexis born 8-22-07!
The opinions stated in the above post are solely mine and in no way should they be
construed as offensive due to your own insecurity.
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:39:01 AM
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PrudentWife
Posts: 2087
Joined: 1/25/2006
From: The Promised Land
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I would have resumed activity two days later. But we waited 3 weeks until the bleeding was almost done. Every woman is different though. Postpartum is such an emotional time. Some women respond to the emotional upheaval by craving intimacy with their husband, other women respond by needing more recovery time.
_____________________________
Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 11:07:26 AM
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isaacsmom
Posts: 1673
Joined: 12/2/2005
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quote:
I would have resumed activity two days later. But we waited 3 weeks until the bleeding was almost done. Every woman is different though. Postpartum is such an emotional time. Some women respond to the emotional upheaval by craving intimacy with their husband, other women respond by needing more recovery time.
Same here. I wanted to resume asap, but just waited till after bleeding. I missed hubby terribly! Those last several weeks when I'm huge intimacy is nearly impossible, which really gets to me.
quote:
I have a question... do you have less pain in the "hooha" after you have a c-section? Or is it still affected by the hormone changes?
No pain here, either time. Although my PH balance felt off some to me for a few weeks because of the hormones.
_____________________________
<<< Pretty wildflowers my hubby picked for me
*~*~*Rachel*~*~*
My Space
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 11:31:00 AM
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Georgia-Peach
Posts: 1971
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Georgia on my mind
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We were also the oddballs who waited (7-8 weeks) before resuming sexual activity. I am amazed at the women who feel up to it sooner, but I was not up to it. Between nursing around the clock, up during the night, a baby who would only sleep being held, the physical healing, cabin fever, and all the emotions sex was the last thing on my mind. I was plain worn out, but I did take care of husband's needs in other ways (sorry if that is TMI) and didn't leave him completely without during that time.
I do think some women do put pressure on themselves to jump back into the marital bed before they are ready, sometimes I think the husbands pressure them or make them feel guilty. I was blessed because my hubby was very patient and understanding. It wasn't that I didn't want to feel close to him in that way or take care of his needs. It came down to those first few weeks were really rough and I was not about to push myself beyond what I felt I could handle.
_____________________________
Chelle
<------- My Heart <3
"Friends are like bras: close to the heart and there for support."
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My husband is more than willing to help out, I just hated asking him. But I've started asking him and telling him things that need to be done. 
Are there dangers to not waiting?
Like Donna says, if you're not bleeding bright red and you feel ready.
