HELP - rogue toilet paper. (Full Version)

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Kerrlaw -> HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 9:08:56 AM)

I need advice.

In my bathroom at work there is a (seemingly typical and benign) toilet paper holder. Today I tore off a small strip of paper (to blow my nose, but that is not relevant).

When I next went in the bathroom, I was shocked to see that the entire roll of paper had unrolled into the floor.

What's more, I had actually witnessed the phenomenon two days earlier. I watched as most of a roll of paper pile up in the floor as the spindle spun furiously, of it's own accord.

This raises several questions:

1. Has this happened to anyone else?

2. Is my bathroom (or at least my TP holder), haunted?

3. Is it a sign or omen of some sort?

4. Could it be related to the recent death of Mr. Whipple?

5. Is the paper safe to use?

The paper was heavy duty Charmin. You may be aware that Charmin has changed their "regular" paper to heavy duty, probably to make a clear distnction from their "ultra-soft". We have been conducting a comparison test at our house (ultra-soft is the winner).

I know that you are all busy, but this is weighing on my mind, so your help is appreciated.



HisCovenant -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 9:15:14 AM)

It's actually just science. The heavy duty paper just weighs more causing the paper to unfurl furiously when a tail is left. You should be ashamed for leaving a tail! [;)]



Ps103 -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 1:10:16 PM)

Use Scott toilet paper like God intended.

It's when you get into that fancy pagan stuff that trouble starts, as you have already discovered.

I would get all of that Charmin stuff out of my house immediately!



PrudentWife -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 2:18:05 PM)

Set up a hidden camera in the bathroom to catch the TP misbehaving. Then submit it to Funniest Home Videos, Charmin, or whatever company you think might pay you for the footage. Invest the money in one of these.



Deleted User -> [Deleted] (11/28/2007 2:30:45 PM)

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stamper_ben -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 2:50:31 PM)

The whole problem lies with the fact that each and every time you leave that roll unattended it is rebelling because it knows it is supposed to be left in the arrow shape. (There was a whole thread about that fact somewhere in these threads not too long ago.)

Do your homework and find a pattern and never leave the premises without folding the end piece appropriately. Problem solved. Youareverywelcome.



JimboFletch -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 5:43:26 PM)

That used to happen at my house a lot.

We had an indoor cat.

'Nuff said?
[;)]



Kerrlaw -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 7:27:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deadhead

I would cast that charmin demon out. There may be hidden charmin sin in your life or you have a spirit of TP. Another theory could be there is a Charmin stronghold that needs to be pulled down. Worst of all you may be facing a tther


Finally, a voice of reason.[sm=goateesmile.gif]

I may need help in casting out the tther.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 7:29:17 PM)

I think we should keep taking swipes at this until we get to the bottom of it.



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 8:15:49 PM)

It isn't the brand. TP in and of itself is not sinful. However, the condition of your heart when you place the TP on the holder is of the utmost importance. Man sees the brand but God sees the heart. If you'd change your evil ways and put it on the right way (which would be the opposite of the way you have it now) you would not have these manifestations occurring and you could sleep the sleep of the Righteous.



utilityfielder -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 10:56:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrudentWife

Set up a hidden camera in the bathroom to catch the TP misbehaving. Then submit it to Funniest Home Videos, Charmin, or whatever company you think might pay you for the footage. Invest the money in one of these.



When my cats were younger and prone to play with the TP, I did not have to buy some fancy-smancy TP guard. I used a rubber band.



Kath -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 11:32:25 PM)

quote:

The paper was heavy duty Charmin. You may be aware that Charmin has changed their "regular" paper to heavy duty, probably to make a clear distnction from their "ultra-soft". We have been conducting a comparison test at our house (ultra-soft is the winner).


I use the lotion one, I really like it. I even take it with me when I travel.

1. Has this happened to anyone else?

YES!

2. Is my bathroom (or at least my TP holder), haunted?
3. Is it a sign or omen of some sort?

I don't believe in that stuff. If I did I'd tell you to call that guy that talks to dead people, something Edwards.

4. Could it be related to the recent death of Mr. Whipple?

That was my first thought. but then I'd have to believe in questions 2 and 3 and I don't.


5. Is the paper safe to use?

You mean after you've futilely tried to roll it back on, with all the dust and hair that is on the bathroom floor? No, I'd not use it. Just thinking about it gives me the heeby jeebies.

Go buy a new roller. Maybe one of those nice scented ones.



Kat_D -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/28/2007 11:36:18 PM)

Heck, if I was a roll TP and realized what my lot in life was, I'd try to commit suicide by throwing myself on the floor too. It's just trying to escape a fate worse than death...can you blame it?



believeinhim2 -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:05:22 AM)

This very thing is why the TP must come off the top of the roll instead of the bottom!!!!!



monamie -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 11:47:59 AM)

I'm sorry, but I have to ask---what's a "tther"? I feel like I'm missing out on something important.



.Pammy -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:01:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: monamie

I'm sorry, but I have to ask---what's a "tther"? I feel like I'm missing out on something important.

So glad you asked, Mona. I don't know either, and I just figured everybody knew but me!



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:14:53 PM)

. . . and me.

[sm=icon_smile_question.gif]



uncabeeil -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:26:05 PM)

And me.

Maybe if you said thank you to it for sacrificing its life to make yours more comfortable it would repent from its wanton rebellious ways.



stamper_ben -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:28:12 PM)

Aw pshaw to you folks who don't know what a "tther" is.

It's the arrow you make on the end of the roll.[8D]



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:30:04 PM)

There's an arrow we have to make?

Man, I must really be a hick.



And now we have to give thanks to toilet paper?




You big city folks and y'all's way.



HisCovenant -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:31:44 PM)

You should always be polite and thankful. Were you raised in a barn? [8D][;)]



stamper_ben -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:32:25 PM)

Did I leave that door open again?[:)]



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:36:41 PM)

What's so polite about making an arrow with the ends? [:D]


Y'all have doors??!?!?!!!!?



HisCovenant -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:39:22 PM)

It's not the arrow that indicates politeness- it's the giving thanks verbally. [;)]



Kat_D -> RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. (11/29/2007 12:42:46 PM)

quote:

what's a "tther"?


Toilet Tissue Hellion'er?



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