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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 1:20:44 AM
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Jenny-Fair
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When I had Nate, the neighbor girl, who was 18 and a senior in high school, really wanted to be present for the birth. Her mother was going to be present in order to take care of Brandon (my midwife had a rule-siblings had to have their own adult) and I had no problem with either of them being there. But, she said, "If it's the day of homecoming, don't wake me up-I'll need my sleep!"
Well, it was, so we didn't, and she was sooooo mad! LOL She really wanted to be there.
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Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 2:31:02 AM
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EmilyAnn
Posts: 1167
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From: Thomasville, NC
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My sister will be 19 by the time the baby comes and she is a freshman in college. We have always been really close and she is one of my best friends. She is my only sibling and I really want her to be there. She just isn't sure if she wants to be in the room with my while I'm pushing. I think it is something she will decide when the time comes. In the house will be me, my husband, 2 midwives, my mom, and my sister. I don't want too many people there. It is also possible that when I'm in transition and pushing I will want my mom and sister to wait in the living room. I won't know until it's happening.
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Baby David is here!!
6-13-08
9 lbs. 8 oz.
20 3/4 in long
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 12:35:54 PM
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TammyIsBlessed
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I never want anyone in their but dh. My opinion is if you weren't there when the baby was made, you aren't there when the baby's born. 
But to each their own of course!
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I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do. Helen Keller
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 12:42:35 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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A lot of unassisted childbirthers feel that way, Tammy.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 1:23:22 PM
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EmilyAnn
Posts: 1167
Joined: 12/18/2005
From: Thomasville, NC
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I feel like I will need the emotional support from my mom. She has done this before and knows what it's like. Even now it is more helpful to me to talk to her about all of my pregnancy discomforts because she understands. Chris tries really hard and he is doing a great job of being supportive, but he just doesn't get it. I feel better, stronger, and more capable when I have people I love around me encouraging me. I can understand why people would only want to have their husband there, but that doesn't seem like a good fit for my personality.
Also, my sister is really excited about taking pictures, blogging, and updating all of you during the labor.
_____________________________
Baby David is here!!
6-13-08
9 lbs. 8 oz.
20 3/4 in long
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 1:31:13 PM
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clag4christ
Posts: 2841
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From: We just moved to the big state of Texas!
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quote:
Chris tries really hard and he is doing a great job of being supportive, but he just doesn't get it. I feel better, stronger, and more capable when I have people I love around me encouraging me. I can understand why people would only want to have their husband there, but that doesn't seem like a good fit for my personality.
Emily,
I totally may be misreading what your posting here...but I would encourage you to not distance yourself or close off what you're 'going through' (re: pain and discomfort, etc.) from Chris. Yes, he may not be able to understand fully the pains you're in (stuff your mom does understand more because she's been through it personally), but he is your husband and this baby is his child as well. If you isolate him and instead 'turn to your mom' he will likely feel unneeded and that is something *no* husband wants to feel...like a third wheel.
It is such a blessing, though, that you and your mom have a good relationship, enough for her to be there and support you in your first labor.
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<-----My fabulous Joel & me in Scotland
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 1:49:09 PM
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EmilyAnn
Posts: 1167
Joined: 12/18/2005
From: Thomasville, NC
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I only see him for an hour each night and on weekends because of his current work schedule, so he can't be here for me as much as he would like to be. He is taking time off work to go to the ultrasound on Wednesday, we are scheduling midwife appointments on Saturdays so he can be here for them, and I bought him a book called The Birth Partner that he is reading bits of when he has time. Since I don't get to spend much time with him, I don't like to spend too much time talking to him about negative things (like my heartburn, backache, and all that stuff.)
_____________________________
Baby David is here!!
6-13-08
9 lbs. 8 oz.
20 3/4 in long
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 1:58:26 PM
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clag4christ
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quote:
ORIGINAL: EmilyAnn
I only see him for an hour each night and on weekends because of his current work schedule, so he can't be here for me as much as he would like to be. He is taking time off work to go to the ultrasound on Wednesday, we are scheduling midwife appointments on Saturdays so he can be here for them, and I bought him a book called The Birth Partner that he is reading bits of when he has time. Since I don't get to spend much time with him, I don't like to spend too much time talking to him about negative things (like my heartburn, backache, and all that stuff.)
Emily,
I understand completely that you don't want to burden him in what you tell him about your pregnancy and that one hour of the day you spend with him you want to be positive and good!  I'm just trying to encourage you to keep including him in your (his and yours) pregnancy. It is wonderful that your mom is there in such a loving support role for you during this time...just remember that once a couple marries, we are not to lean too heavily on anyone, parents, siblings, cousins, best friends, more than we lean on our spouse as it can and often times does isolate and marginalize the spouse that's not being 'confided in', if you know what I mean. I'm not trying to pick on you or make you feel like a bad wife (I'm sure you're a fantastic wife and that your dear Chris would attest to that too )...it just struck me from what you wrote previously that it seemed like you felt Chris just wasn't getting it because he's a man, or whatever.
Blessings in Christ,
Kim
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<-----My fabulous Joel & me in Scotland
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 2:03:43 PM
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EmilyAnn
Posts: 1167
Joined: 12/18/2005
From: Thomasville, NC
Status: online
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He is definitely ok with my mom and sister being here. We have discussed it many times. We have also talked to them and the midwives about how during the labor we want some time to be completly alone. They also understand that if at any point during the labor I feel overwhelmed or anything I (or Chris) will ask them to go wait in the living room until someone comes and gets them. While waiting the plan to tidy up, cook, do laundry, or whatever needs done. I have never had a baby before, so I don't know what it will be like. I want them here, but I don't know how close I want them to be.
_____________________________
Baby David is here!!
6-13-08
9 lbs. 8 oz.
20 3/4 in long
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 2:06:53 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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From: WA
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Emily, it sounds like you have chosen wonderful midwives.
Mine really took a sit-back-and-watch approach for most of my labor. She chatted with my neighbor and spent a lot of time trying to find a backup because her partner had the flu. The really funny thing was that I did not realize, due to being so 'busy' with what I was up to, lol, that I had the phone number of the person she was trying unsuccessfully to reach!
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 4:27:18 PM
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clag4christ
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quote:
Who is sitting next to my playing with Wes. I wish she wouldn't go home. Seriously. She could just live here.
What an amazing blessing you have there Sandy! I truly wish Joel and I had something like that in our lives with our moms.
_____________________________
<-----My fabulous Joel & me in Scotland
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 5:04:29 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6936
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From: WA
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I dunno. I always wanted to be one of those reach-down-and-touch-your-baby people but when my midwife said, "would you like to touch your baby?" I said, "SURE AS SOON AS I GET IT OUT OF THERE!!!" LOL
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 5:17:41 PM
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PrincessDonna
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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I've reached down and touched two of mine. Honestly, it kind of creeped me out to touch that area with everyone staring at me. LOL All you could feel was wet, slimy baby head anyway. With the first, it was good to know he was right there though, and we'd be done soon. I pushed a loooooong time with him.
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I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 5:18:43 PM
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clag4christ
Posts: 2841
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: We just moved to the big state of Texas!
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Yeah...I wonder if the squish factor would weird me out at all?!
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<-----My fabulous Joel & me in Scotland
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RE: Natural Childbirth-support and discussion - 1/20/2008 11:57:04 PM
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TammyIsBlessed
Posts: 1660
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Yeah, the hired help is allowed in too. 
I reached down and touched at least one.
I think I'd like a mirror this time too - but who knows?
_____________________________
I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do. Helen Keller
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my soldier! 
It'll just be hubby. The nice thing about having Sara there was they could tag team each other. I was never alone. I liked that. I am a introvert and love my space, but there was always someone there. Like when the Dr took Andrew aside out of the room, there was no nurse, dr, just Sara. She kept me calm, which at that point I needed. I don't know who I'd get at this point. I just don't feel comfortable with someone from the church at the labor. Maybe I do need a doula. A paid 'friend'. I just need to find one. Maybe my midwife will have a list. 