RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (Full Version)

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daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/21/2008 12:03:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pumpkin

do you have a link to the article?

David can/will discuss anything... it just depends on if you really want to get to what HE wants to do. I have a very very hard time sometimes because he sort of wants to know what I think before he'll really say what he thinks, and then sometimes I feel like he is just telling me what he thinks I want to hear. (this is true with anything that is really important to me) When I ask him about this tendency he says that he prefers to defer to me and my preferences because it means more to me than it does to him.... not that he doesn't care, but that he probably already agrees with me, for the most part... and he knows how much things mean to me... and he wants me to be happy.

We talk about things as they come up.. and maybe the next step. We've not truly discussed IUI's in detail. We hadn't really discussed clomid in detail before taking it either. I mean, we discussed it, but then when it was time, THEN we had the discussion about "do we really want to do this?" I don't know, maybe we are a bit funny in that regard, or maybe we are a bit in denial, and don't want to cross any bridges before we actually get to them.

Here's the link for you: http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/couplesandmarriage/articlelhj.aspx?cp-documentid=6506501&page=1&lc=1033

Hope it works!!! As for discussing things, DH & I actually had a very good conversation last night. He's wanting to try naturally for a few more months....unless the doctors want to start some medication before then. I am not sure what my doctor will suggest; however, I will definitely be asking!!!

Oh and my DH does that too. Most of the time...he's like...I want to know what you think.....then he'll agree....or state something totally different. Gotta love our DHs!!! [:D]



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/21/2008 1:04:01 PM)

Thanks for the link. =) I read the article. It was interesting, but it doesn't really reflect either of us. David is willing and open to discussion about any of it at any time, and seems to be handling it all very well. Most of the time I am also very open to any discussion, and am handling it all ok. We don't struggle with feeling like we are on a schedule for intimacy either... but we did marry "later" and the doctors don't want us to wait any longer than is absolutely necessary to become pregnant (if God allows).

Like I said earlier, we just discuss each step as it comes, when we are just about to need to take the next step normally. I don't know... we have friends who went through it all and found out that they cannot have a child... well, they have a 1% chance of pregnancy with any given cycle that is not medically assisted... and they are no longer having medical intervention for conception. So, we know that it is a very real possibility that all this won't work, but at the same time we both pray a lot about it, and we both feel strongly that God wants us to be parents. We have hope... and we have God. =)

David has some issues, as well as my not ovulating on my own currently. He has an appointment with a specialist at the beginning of April. Neither of us knows what to expect at that appointment, or in subsequent ones should they be necessary.



daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/21/2008 1:45:46 PM)

As far as we know, DH is good to go. He hasn't been evaluated. My GP said that he would do a thorough workup on both of us in a few months (once we reached the 1 year mark). But then I started having some issues before that and made an appt. with the OBGYN.

For us, we're both more than ready to get the ball rolling on having more children. I really THOUGHT I would be done having children by the time I reached 30. We have a few more years before that happens. My DH is 40 though & doesn't want to waste more time than necessary (hope that makes sense). As it is, he'll be nearly retirement age when our child graduates high school. We both really want to be able to enjoy our kids while we're still "young"!!!



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/21/2008 1:59:46 PM)

*sigh*

I'm 36, David is 43.

Yeah, we "assumed" that everything was good with David too, and kinda didn't really want to test him... since I was not ovulating we just assumed that was the issue that was the main problem. The doctor said, "well, it would be easy to assume that since you aren't ovulating that that was the only issue, but it's better to find out sooner rather than later if he has any issues too... and hopefully he won't, but it's better to know." So, he referred us to someplace, and David was tested... yep, he's got issues too. Oh joy. *sigh*



not_the_first -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/21/2008 2:21:03 PM)

Well, things don't look too encouraging. My doctor called me after the ultrasound. She said that I have a 4 cm cyst on my left ovary, and that it looks like it *could* be an endometrial cyst. There is no way to know for sure unless they go in there. She wants me to come back in 4-6 weeks for a follow up ultrasound to monitor the cyst. If it hasn't improved, then I most likely will have to get it removed and/or get it tested to see what type of cyst it is. I am really praying that it is not endometriosis, as usually the prognosis for fertility is not pretty good.

My husband and I discuss things a lot, but usually it's me that brings up the topic. He is very supportive. I know that he feels really awful and is also hurting, mostly, he says because he hates that I have to go through this. I know that he also feels bad because he is turning 40 in May, and he really wanted and thought that he would have a house full of children by now. He absolutely loves kids. It kills me when I see how great he is with other children, and I think how awesome of a dad he will be but he hasn't been given the chance. I do get a little frustrated some times because I do a lot of research about infertility and I have become familiar with treatments and things. DH hasn't really done the same. I don't think he would even know what the term IUI means. Sometimes I feel like he isn't as proactive about this, which is suprising because he usually is the type of person who wants to find out everything about something before he makes a decision - almost overly proactive. But, a part of that may just be my way of dealing with this particular issue and his way of dealing with it.



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/21/2008 2:28:40 PM)

Noelle,
I'm sorry about your bad news. God had other plans for me with my 5-6 inch cyst, but pray pray pray that it goes away or at the least that it isn't a "bad" type of cyst.. and always always keep in mind that God can do anything... so even if the news is really bad, He can overcome it all, and He knows all about it already too. =)

I know.. sounds preachy. It's easy to get lost in bad news, especially when you feel like it keeps coming at you, and you feel like you are lost in a bad dream. Just keep turning to God.

Surgery, while it may not be what you want, may be what God wants. It could give the surgeon a good opportunity to clean everything (if there is anything else) out all at once (that they can) and really get a good close look at what is going on.

I'll pray for you.



daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/21/2008 4:08:01 PM)

Noelle,

((hugs)))

I was so hoping that things would be more encouraging for you!!! Praying, hun!! *ditto to what Gina said about it could be an opportunity for the surgeon to help you & also for you to help him...if s/he isn't a Christian*

Gina....guess we should probably go ahead with testing DH. He has agreed to do it when the doctor feels it is time (which will be at the one year marker). So I guess we'll wait until then...unless the OBGYN recommends sooner for him.

I guess I should be thankful that my cysts all look pretty small (at least to me). The fibroid is another story (that thing looked HUGE to me). It's really hard to say since it's on a monitor and I don't know how many times things are magnified, etc.



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/21/2008 4:43:20 PM)

yeah, I know what you mean about not knowing the size of things on the screen. They kept telling me how large my cyst was... and I was trying to keep that in mind... they were telling me 3x6x8 or something like that. I was having trouble picturing that, and then the doctor said.. "think grapefruit or a little bit bigger" and I said, "ok, that makes sense"

My cyst was on my fallopian tube. So, I am basically operating sans 1 fallopian tube. The removal of the cyst basically left that what was left of that tube ineffective. The doctor said that even with that, the chance of pregnancy any cycle would still be 85-90%, so that's good.

Yeah, it's best that the husband of any couple TTC for a while be tested too... because like my doctor said, it could be that both of you have issues, or you could be pleasantly surprised that he had no issues. =)



daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/21/2008 5:50:01 PM)

I'm praying that he doesn't have any issues. He really really thought he was the cause of our issues until the ultrasound I had the other day. I kept telling him that I really didn't know. Just because I have ONE child (from my previous marriage) doesn't mean that I can have more....

My cysts are right around the ovaries/in the ovaries....so I think that's an okay place for them to be? I'm not entirely sure, but from the reading I have done....it said that most women have cysts in that general area at some time or another. Most women are not aware of them....as sometimes they don't even cause problems.

Oh, btw....both of our husbands are named David. Mine goes by Dave....how about yours?



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/21/2008 6:23:05 PM)

He will answer to any of the variations, but I call him David. Most of our friends do as well. =)



daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/25/2008 10:10:02 AM)

My doc appt. for the endo lining biopsy is today. I haven't began my new cycle yet so I did test this morning....but it was BFN (at least that's how I read it). I'll ask the doc for a blood test before we go ahead with the biopsy. Need to ask about medications as well...guess I have a lot to ask him about today......

Please keep me in your prayers....

Gina & Noelle~~how are things going with you ladies? I'm still praying for you!!!



not_the_first -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/25/2008 10:21:22 PM)

I will be praying. Nothing much going on here. I'm in the TWW (well more like 11-12 day wait for me usually). I have a follow up appointment for another ultrasound at the end of April.

I did see my natural health clinician today. He also, based on the tests he does, sensed that it could be endometriosis. So, now I am just waiting.......



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/26/2008 9:25:22 AM)

I'm just kinda waiting to see if I will indeed ovulate. Have I said how I hate hate hate hate hate OPK's? I had 2 diff. brands here, and one seems (seemed) to indicate that it was positive on Monday, but the other didn't... I did the one that didn't give me a line at all first, but the other is the brand my doc. wants me to use, so I used that one too. Well, a second line definitely showed on that one, and a very faint line did eventually show on the other one, but no where near what I would call "positive" and so I'm just kinda waiting to see if my temps and mucous agree with the positive test or not.



daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/26/2008 9:50:31 AM)

Gina, that sounds rather frustrating!! Your disdain for home test kits sounds similar to mine...cuz I can never tell if they are positive or not (whether ovulation or pregnancy). At least that's been my experience....
Hope you did ovulate though!!!

Noelle, don't you love the waiting game? Right now I am waiting for results from my biopsy (they will be in at my next appt. on the 1st...or they should be). It's like...can't you just tell me now? I guess with the pregnancy thing...there isn't a test sensitive enough (not even blood).....

I'm still praying for you ladies!! Wouldn't it be great if we all got positives with our cycles?!?!



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/27/2008 3:54:36 PM)

it would be great... I just find it unlikely. Not that it's not possible, because anything with God is possible... anyway.........

I'm kinda driving myself nuts trying to figure out if I ovulated or not. If I did it would be about 2 days ago. However, I had some CF afterward, and so that doesn't help me figure things out. I had *slightly* higher temps today and yesterday than the previous days... so temp isn't being a clear indicator.

I am having some symptoms that made David say to me last night, "maybe you are pregnant... " The poor guy... when I was pregnant last time I kept telling him that I would swear that his hair smelled like vomit. I don't know why, it's just how it smelled to me at the end of the day, or near the end of the day. I told him last night that his breath smelled bad. He went and brushed his teeth. I could still smell it. He put a mint in his mouth, I could still smell it... that's when he said, "maybe you are pregnant... " *shrug* I don't know. I find it unlikely, but one never knows, well, until one knows. =)



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/28/2008 2:50:54 PM)

the odd smells continue. I opened up a sippy cup (I work with kids) today and thought it smelled like spoiled milk. The girl I was working with said that it smelled just like juice to her.

I don't know. My chart does now show ovulation... at least for now. It's hard to tell until the temps stay where they belong. =) IF they start jumping around, or going down, then it won't look like I ovulated this month afterall.

My throat is sore, and my nose is runny/stuffy today too. I just plain feel icky. Oh, and my ears are bothering me too.



daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/28/2008 8:36:48 PM)

It's hard to say, Gina. Praying ya ovulated & that y'all are expecting. That would be so cool!!! I really thought I was cuz my tatas were so sore (& seemed bigger) & I had had some issues with funky smells. Sometimes I just don't know what goes in on in my body WHY!!!

For us, we're out this month...pretty sure. I'm having lower abdominal pain (still) and some bleeding....so....I'm presuming (might be wrong) that my cycle started after the endo lining biopsy the other day.



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/29/2008 10:02:09 AM)

did your doctor tell you that you may have some bleeding afterward? Did he/she tell you how long it might last? (assuming they said that there would be some?)

After my surgery last year I had some bleeding. The doctor said that it could take up to 5 days for it to go away. I still had some at 7, but then it stopped. He said that was still normal. I didn't have another period until about 2 months later though.

Yeah, I am not putting much stock in smells seem to be weird for me right now. I'm still not convinced I ovulated. Grr..

I have NOT been sleeping well this week either, which doesn't really help charting. I wish I could get rid of these cold symptoms... it's starting to drive me nuts. I've had a sore throat/tonsils, achy ears, and runny/stuffy nose since Wed. I know that's not that long, but when you aren't sleeping well because of it, it seems an eternity.



daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/29/2008 10:46:27 AM)

The doc didn't tell me anything about bleeding afterwards. I learned that from reading online. It was there that I read NOT to use tampons or have relations with DH for a week. The reading I did said it was normal for it to last up to a week or so.

I'm sick this morning too, Gina. Maybe we've been spending too much time together [;)] It really stinks when you're sick. That takes all of your energy & then some...but then you can't sleep. I can't figure that one out.

Anyway, back to topic...I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with all of this. Do I pray for healing by God? Or do I just continue to seek the doctor's opinion? I really think I need to be seeking God more...especially since this doc may or may not know what's wrong (just from some of the comments from this thread & the trying to conceive thread). It seems like it's taking forever to figure things out & I know we just started on realizing there is a problem.....or in my case...problems.



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/29/2008 10:58:57 AM)

quote:

Do I pray for healing by God? Or do I just continue to seek the doctor's opinion?


why not do both? That's basically what I did with my cyst. We prayed, and asked everyone we knew to pray for healing, and for God's will. After a little over 3 months, I had surgery to remove it. I believe God was fully in that situation, and in that operating room... and with all of our decisions along the way.

I always pray about health matters... you may even recall me praying about the clomid this month. I didn't think it was going to happen, but then God had a plan of His own for that. I think seeking God does not have to be a choice apart from seeking medical attention. I think they work well together. =) (I hope that makes sense.. I'm not sure it fully does, but hopefully you get what I mean)



daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/29/2008 11:13:47 AM)

Yeah, I know what you mean, Gina. :)

I guess for me it's because God decides when the womb is open or closed. Been praying for the womb to open for some time now. Just doesn't seem like it's God's will. Oh & I keep getting emails, etc. about adoption. I just don't know anymore.

Yes, I do recall you praying about the Clomid this month as you weren't really wanting to take it. Are your temps staying elevated? How are you feeling?



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/29/2008 3:14:11 PM)

so far, if I truly did ovulate on Tuesday, I've had 4 days at or above my coverline... so Fertility Friend is fairly certain that I did ovulate then... I'm just not convinced yet.



daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/29/2008 6:23:40 PM)

Ah, Gina....the waiting game....isn't that the most fun?!?! NOT!!!

I've debated about taking another test....just don't want to have my hopes dashed again...



pumpkin -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/30/2008 4:30:38 PM)

I don't know what I would do in your shoes. It's hard to say because the bleeding could be from the procedure, or it could be your period. Does it feel the same as your period does? (although that doesn't always mean much.... since periods can feel vastly different from time to time) I would probably wait a bit and then test if I still felt that it was a possibility.

Was your last test just "inconclusive?" or was there a faint line or what?



daughter_of_faith -> RE: *Struggling* to conceive... (3/30/2008 7:39:13 PM)

The last test was difficult to read (at best) for me. No, I'm not an ignorant person...these tests just confuse me! There were a couple of dots/places where it looked like a faint line making up the plus portion. However, I looked again today (kept the stick to compare) and I don't see anything at all there (just the negative line). So...I guess I was seeing things & wanting to believe.

The bleeding I have had hasn't really been like my cycle. It's been lighter than it usually is & very very painful. So I don't know....

The bleeding has stopped today, but I still feel some pain. I go back on Tuesday & I'll talk to the doctor about the pain to see if anything can be done or if he can explain it.



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