RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (Full Version)

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solo_soprano22 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/11/2008 2:45:14 PM)

I wonder if any women here have had births with a shoulder dystocia that they couldn't get to resolve. I saw a woman die from that once (they pushed the baby back in then did a C-section), but I'm sure something else happened in conjunction. I know sometimes they do all kinds of things to try to remedy that..episiotomies, breaking the bones...sometimes tearing the brachial plexus in the process. I'm thinking that's one situation where I'd hate to be in.



nicole6598 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/11/2008 3:52:37 PM)

I took every drug they offered with Grace and the only one that helped was the epidural. But that was my first labour and I was uneducated about what I should be doing and just did whatever the midwife told me to.
With Nathaniel I did it all natural until the last hour when they gave me the epidural which they probably shouldn't have as it made the last bit go longer and stopped me from pushing, they hadn't checked how dilated i was but an hour before that I was probably about 8 or 9 cms!!
I think if you need drugs take em, if you don't that's cool too!



clag4christ -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/11/2008 4:51:14 PM)

I know that when I went past my due date with Jael...something that I really actually wanted to do...well not so much go past my date but more like go into labor on my own...that at first I felt it was a gracious gift...but as the days dragged on (all 4 of them! lol) an induction began to sound more and more appealing...especially since I'd already had one, though it was not a good experience, I knew what to expect and how it would likely go.



JoyfulLady -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/11/2008 5:34:58 PM)

I had planned to go all natural, but I ended up being induced (mainly because of a large fibroid that never shrunk and the doctor felt was "cramping" my baby as he got bigger). Then said fibroid supposedly kept me from dilating properly after 18 hours (only 2 cm) and my baby was under a lot of stress from the contractions. So I had a C under general (spinal epidural failed to work).
I also had an epidural about 8 hours into labor....those Pit contractions were just too strong! [:'(]
So, yeah, it's not what I wanted, but we're both ok, so I'm ok with what happened. And I really don't think I'll attempt a VBAC. I think I'd only encounter the same problems.



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/11/2008 5:40:52 PM)

Amber, did they remove the fibroid when they did your c?



JoyfulLady -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/11/2008 8:35:50 PM)

Nope....too risky. I can't remember what it's called, but it was the type that grows in the muscle/wall of the uterus, and from my understanding can't be removed without significant risk.



manda59 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 2:40:17 PM)

clag4Christ,

Did I read somewhere that you had a problem with a vacuum extraction delivery? If so, I'd be interested to hear about it (I didn't have any problem with mine - and it probably saved me from having a section).



clag4christ -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 4:12:07 PM)

I didn't have a 'problem' perse. Except for the fact that it kept coming off poor Hannah's head. The thing popped of at least 3 times to my recollection and I remember thinking to myself when the doctor kept putting it back on her that I was *sure* her head was going to come apart from her spine the way he was pulling. His leg was actually up on the bed for leverage. IMO, knowing what I know now the extraction was ABSOLUTELY unnecessary for either of us. She wasn't stuck and I was pushing very very effectively. I'd only been pushing actively for about 30 minutes before he 'decided' I needed the vacuum. I very much regret allowing him to do that. If he felt she was stuck on my pubic bone then he should have had me push on my side so that my spine could bend outward.

Oh and I had 2nd degree tearing internally from her coming out of me with the force that she did. So much so that I had to go to the OR after delivery (I didn't even get to see her face and hold her[:o][:@]) to be sewn up.

Those two things were definitely the worst part of my labor...far worse than the pit. induced contractions, though those were horrible too.

I'll never have an induction again, if I can help it in any way.



manda59 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 4:32:02 PM)

Wow, that does sound difficult and extreme. [&:]

My experience was totally different. I'd was extremely exhausted, and was also half-incapacitated from an epidural that had worked brilliantly for 3 hours, then only worked down one side of my body for the rest of the time. I'd been in "proper" labour for about 8 hrs (having slept for the first 3), was fully dilated and just couldn't push (through exhaustion).

They did an episiotomy, then the ventouse delivery, and I only needed 4 stitches. Sarah's skin was just slightly pink where the cap had been, the head wasn't at all "raised".



clag4christ -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 4:37:25 PM)

quote:

They did an episiotomy, then the ventouse delivery, and I only needed 4 stitches. Sarah's skin was just slightly pink where the cap had been, the head wasn't at all "raised".


They didn't do an episiotomy on me but it wasn't necessary since I tore a little bit down, but mostly up into my labial region (that hurt so much!).

The spot where the vacuum had been on Hannah's head was raised, puffy, black and blue and filled with blood. It was a very horrible bruise that kept her from sleeping on that side of her head for the first few days. If I could go back and change that I would. I wasn't too tired to push and was doing a really good job on my own...the doctor I think just didn't want to wait another 15-45 min. for me to get her out. [:@]

She also had a very difficult time 'transitioning' to breathing properly because she wasn't squeezed long enough in the birth canal to get all of the amniotic fluid out. She spent the 3-4 hours I was in surgery under a warmer with a pulse/ox monitor on so that they could monitor her oxygen level.

When I finally got to go and see her I remember looking around to all the babies wondering which one was mine. That made me feel like a truly horrible mom because I didn't know what my own baby looked like. [:o][&o]



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 5:09:45 PM)

quote:

When I finally got to go and see her I remember looking around to all the babies wondering which one was mine. That made me feel like a truly horrible mom because I didn't know what my own baby looked like.

I remember that dread feeling too...with Jake's horrible birth. I was in a coma for about six hours after he was born...so when I did wake up and went to see him I had to look for the name on the bassinet. I couldn't find which one, so I went back to the room and Paul went and got him for me.
I also remember the dread and fear that came over me when he was first born and they were working on him....it seemed like an eternity that they had him doing CPR and all sorts of stuff. They were already done with me, had sewn me up and were about ready to be done when I asked if it was a boy or a girl. The nurse screamed "I haven't had a chance to look yet". THAT scared me even more. Right after that they yelled out "Come on dad" and left with him. I don't remember leaving that room...I went into the coma then. So when I woke up one of the first questions was if it was a boy or a girl. I don't remember much of that whole experience...however, I remember being in the coma. I remember all of them talking around me and what was going on next to me with a baby that was born with a club foot. They didn't even tell Paul that I was in a coma....my parents knew because they have been around medical stuff...but they told him I was just "sleeping it off". I wasn't sleeping though. I felt like I was in limbo...I could hear everything but couldn't communicate or move. It was freaky and weird...not something I ever want to go through again. That time was the most of anything that I remember from his birth though...so not that fun. It took a lot for me to get over what happened there and go on to have a few more much better births.



manda59 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 5:26:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: clag4christ
When I finally got to go and see her I remember looking around to all the babies wondering which one was mine. That made me feel like a truly horrible mom because I didn't know what my own baby looked like. [:o][&o]



When I came round from the general anaesthetic, it was about 6pm. Last time I'd been aware of the hour it had been around 2pm. The room was darkened, I was alone - no little cot with my baby in. I found myself wondering if I had had the baby yet and why I was here. I looked down at my stomach and it looked quite big still, but maybe not so. Then I realised I felt like I'd been run over by a bus, and guessed that I'd probably had the Caesarean. But I didn't know what had happened to my baby.

After what seemed like an age (though it was probably only 2-3 minutes) a midwife came in to check on me, saw that I was awake and went out to get my dh. He came back in wheeling the little cot saying "someone would like to see you". Unfortunately, following close behind were my parents (who my dh had specifically asked, on my behalf, not to come and visit till the next day), with my mother saying loudly "we saw him first!" All before I had had a chance to hold him.[&:]

Thankfully, my parents only stayed a few minutes.

That just left me, my dh and this baby who looked nothing like either of us and who I felt no connection to. He was not just blue-eyed, but light blue-eyed, and was mostly bald with a very little light blond hair. I was about to ask my dh if they were sure he was ours, when he told me that he'd observed the birth from the operating theatre doorway, so he saw him come out.

I felt even more detached from the whole experience. It seemed like everyone else knew more about it all than me.

My Caesarean was necessary, and I don't regret it. I do however think that the nursing staff could have prepared me better, and handled the whole thing better, just by making allowances for how I might feel. And of course my parents could have handled it better, but that's another story altogether.



clag4christ -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 5:35:59 PM)

quote:

That just left me, my dh and this baby who looked nothing like either of us and who I felt no connection to. He was not just blue-eyed, but light blue-eyed, and was mostly bald with a very little light blond hair. I was about to ask my dh if they were sure he was ours, when he told me that he'd observed the birth from the operating theatre doorway, so he saw him come out.


Yes...I had a hard time bonding with Hannah too...she looked nothing like me and for some reason I thought she should since she's a girl.

I remember being glad that Joel had seen her (his first words upon seeing her were, "She's SOOOO BEAUTIFUL!) because I knew that he was sure that she was ours.

I wish your nurses had prepared you better too, Manda. I'm sorry your first birth, though you don't regret your c-section, that it was so hard emotionally after the fact.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 9:07:17 PM)

I also had a "which one is my baby?" horrible experience with my first. He wasn't breathing at birth, was gray, and his lung collapsed when they worked on him, so he got sent to another hospital with a NICU. This was at the same time as I was hemmoraging and being rushed to the OR to remove the placenta. I saw him through a fog of anesthesia for 20 seconds before the ambulance took him. Two days later, I went to the hospital he was, and bawled my eyes out because in this whole room of babies, I had no idea which one was mine.

While I was still in the first hospital, my MIL had the nerve to call me and tell me that she had seen and held my baby. Even my own parents had refused to hold him until I got to.



paulsbride -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 9:22:31 PM)

quote:

I remember being glad that Joel had seen her (his first words upon seeing her were, "She's SOOOO BEAUTIFUL!) because I knew that he was sure that she was ours.


That's what I thought too when I went down to the NICU!! I was worried they'd mix up my own baby with someone elses [8|]



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 9:24:05 PM)

quote:

When I finally got to go and see her I remember looking around to all the babies wondering which one was mine. That made me feel like a truly horrible mom because I didn't know what my own baby looked like.


I felt that way when Gabby was in the NICU, except I couldn't recognize her cry[:(] I would send Micah out to check on her because I would think I heard her crying and she would be peacefully asleep. She's like me, she adored being under those bili-lights...I love the tanning bed[:D]



isaacsmom -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 9:32:10 PM)

I regret the way my first birth experience went, but it all turned out OK. I just didn't have a great doctor. It took me a while to get past the whole experience.

I really wanted a VBAC the second time around, but it's nearly impossible to find a doctor (at least in this part of the country) who is allowed to perform them (they are prohibited by their malpractice insurances).

So I went ahead and went C the second time around and it was a great experience. I was prepared (first one was emergency) and my current OB/GYN is awesome. I recovered very quickly.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 9:35:58 PM)

so....a few "bonding" questions.....

how many births have you had?

how many would you categorize as "hard" whether emotionally or physically because of medical reasons?

do you plan on/did you decide to stop having babies because of a traumatic experience with a birth?

for those with medical issues, how many babies do you (at this time) think you would be up for having before you decided to stop (because of medical reasons....let's not get into the whole "children are a blessing" thing...we all know they are...I am just asking about medical issues, not your moral beliefs)?



manda59 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 9:36:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: isaacsmom
So I went ahead and went C the second time around and it was a great experience. I was prepared (first one was emergency) and my current OB/GYN is awesome. I recovered very quickly.





It is very different to have an elective Caesarean. I think it's partly because you know what to expect, but also because your body isn't in labour and stressed, and you're more relaxed about it. You're also able to make preparations and plans because you know when it is going to happen.
I think there is more of a feeling of control when you've decided and planned it - there is none of the fear of the unknown/unexpected that you have with an emergency one.



manda59 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 9:43:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
how many births have you had?


Two. One in 1989 (ds) and one in 1993 (dd).

quote:


how many would you categorize as "hard" whether emotionally or physically because of medical reasons?


Both. Both labours were slow and irregular (over 3 days); I dilated very slowly both times. First time I had an emergency Caesarean, second time I had a ventouse extraction.

quote:


do you plan on/did you decide to stop having babies because of a traumatic experience with a birth?


My first delivery left me depressed and withdrawn. I was also distressed because I had always wanted to have more than one child but was terrified to even contemplate becoming pregnant again. The thought gave me the shakes and shivers, and I'd go into shock and cry. I had post-natal depression and it started to lift when my ds was about 6 months old, and was just about gone by the time he was 9 months old. However my dh and I did not have full intercourse again for two years because I was so scared of getting pregnant again.

I prayed about it all, and by the time my ds was nearly 3, I was brave enough to start trying for a baby again. We had our dd when our ds was 4.

My thyroid started to fail after our 2nd child, so that was an added reason for stopping after 2.



isaacsmom -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 9:44:59 PM)

how many births have you had? 2

how many would you categorize as "hard" whether emotionally or physically because of medical reasons? Just the first one. I had preeclampsia and PUPPPS and had to go on bedrest at 36 weeks. I was induced because of my dangerous BP and PUPPPS at 38 weeks. The labor wasn't painful or unbearable, but my doc was progressive and, well, "detached" I guess is the best way to describe. I wish I would've done things differently. Even though I was induced, I wish I would've labored walking around instead of laying in bed (I didn't know) and I would've waited to get my epidural (I got it at 3cm at doc's suggestion, and then I stalled).

do you plan on/did you decide to stop having babies because of a traumatic experience with a birth? no

for those with medical issues, how many babies do you (at this time) think you would be up for having before you decided to stop (because of medical reasons....let's not get into the whole "children are a blessing" thing...we all know they are...I am just asking about medical issues, not your moral beliefs. I'll most likely go all c-sections, even though I'd like to go natural, there is unfortunately so much red tape with the insurance companies. [&:][:o] But that doesn't have any effect on the # of children we will have (we don't know what that number is yet)

quote:

It is very different to have an elective Caesarean. I think it's partly because you know what to expect, but also because your body isn't in labour and stressed, and you're more relaxed about it. You're also able to make preparations and plans because you know when it is going to happen.
I think there is more of a feeling of control when you've decided and planned it - there is none of the fear of the unknown/unexpected that you have with an emergency one.

Yes, definitely!



clag4christ -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/12/2008 9:58:46 PM)

how many births have you had?

Two...Hannah Grace's and Jael Patience's

how many would you categorize as "hard" whether emotionally or physically because of medical reasons?

Just Hannah's...it was both hard emotionally and physically. It did take me a while to bond with her...but I figured it out eventually. [;)] Physically...though I wasn't healing from a c-section...internally because of the tearing I wasn't 'back to normal' for at least the first 6 months after her birth. Intimate times with Joel were difficult and hurt, especially on the 'right' side. [&o]

do you plan on/did you decide to stop having babies because of a traumatic experience with a birth?

Nope...I haven't planned on limiting because of the bad first experience with Hannah. It was really a night and day experience between my girls births. I was able to bond with Jael right away and haven't looked back since! [;)][:)]



PrincessDonna -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/13/2008 9:21:28 AM)

how many births have you had?

Three...2000, 2005, 2007

how many would you categorize as "hard" whether emotionally or physically because of medical reasons?

Just the first. Contractions and bedrest from 4 months on. I was our sole income at that time, and my marriage was a huge mess. No one could ever figure out WHY I was having contractions, until delivery when a rare placenta disorder was discovered. Baby had a chest deformity and was not breathing after a horrendous labor, was sent to a bigger hospital an hour away with a NICU. I went to emergency surgery to remove the placenta.

do you plan on/did you decide to stop having babies because of a traumatic experience with a birth?

I was terrified to be pregnant again for a while, but also knew I wanted at least one more. The chances of having the placenta issue again were very high, but (PRAISE GOD!) the other two deliveries I had the biggest, healthiest placentas the nurses had seen. They went on and on about how great they looked. Since we did know the problem from the first time, the doctor knew what to look for (no membrane separation between the placenta and uterus). Also of women who die from placenta accreta/increta/percreta, usually the ones who die are those who didn't know they had it until delivery. It really was a miracle I survived that first delivery in such a tiny, country hospital. They had to call in the entire surgical team at 2 am.

Anyway, I did a lot of research, until I was comfortable with the risk. And then God let it take a good long time to conceive again, so I think He wanted to make sure we were GOOD and ready.[;)]

for those with medical issues, how many babies do you (at this time) think you would be up for having before you decided to stop (because of medical reasons....

We think this one (#5, counting my stepson) might be our last. If this is the case, I will have a hysterectomy after the baby is a few months old. This decision is already approved of by my doctor, because of recurrent aggressive endometriosis and increasing pelvic and hip pain due to a separated pelvis, which also occurred during that first delivery.



PrudentWife -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/13/2008 9:45:55 AM)

Donna, how will the potential hysterectomy affect your breastfeeding? Will you have to wean?



PrincessDonna -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/13/2008 10:05:11 AM)

It will not affect it. I asked the doctor already, and did some research on my own, which confirmed what I had been told.

From THIS site:

quote:

It's possible to breastfeed after a hysterectomy. You don't need a uterus or ovaries in order to be able to nurse your baby. Breastfeeding is regulated by hormones secreted by the hypothalmus and the pituitary glands. Your milk production is not affected by removing your ovaries and/or the uterus.

Estrogens may decrease the quantity and quality of breast milk; therefore, if you will be treating your menopausal symptoms with HRT, you may want to ask your doctor if you can do this while nursing or if you should wait until you wean your baby before starting HRT.



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