RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (Full Version)

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peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/13/2008 11:13:39 AM)

I guess I should answer my own questions huh....

how many births have you had?
four so far...1999, 2000, 2004, 2006. Due again in June.

how many would you categorize as "hard" whether emotionally or physically because of medical reasons?
Technically, two I guess. The second is questionable.
My first was a horrible pregnancy and labor/delivery experience...mostly because of stupid dr's that didn't want to do their job. I was diagnosed as being toxemic in the first trimester...yet because of the military hospital and seeing a different person every time I went in there for an appointment, it was nearly impossible for them to really understand the whole scope of the problems. In total I gained over 100 lbs (stopped counting at 100 lb gain...so I don't know how much over it was). I lost over 60 in the hospital during a two day stay. All (most) of that was from the extra "water weight" brought on by the toxemia. (all of my other pregnancies have been gains of about 20lb total...so I know it wasn't just eating wrong or whatever). I was put on and off of bed rest the whole time...full bed rest the last month, with my husband sent to the field and me having to go in to the hospital every other day for NST's. Luckily we had a great church that provided meals and comfort when I needed it most. Another problem was that the earlier date for my EDD was erased by a dr that didn't like that date...it didn't match her idea of when I should be born...so she changed my due date on the file to september (MY dd was August 3-5 or so). I wouldn't have even been pregnant when I found out I was pregnant with her new due date. That due date change of course led to me going way over (with toxemia) to 43 weeks without them wanting to do anything medically for me. I had a horrible labor delivery...that I generally don't talk about for several reasons...one I don't like people to hear my story and get scared from what happened. and Two I really don't remember hardly any of it...I have been told what happened by the people/loved ones that were there at the different times. The only time my brain actually remembers was the six hours I was in a coma after his birth. So I don't like to drum up all that stuff again. It terrified me.

My second was a much different situation. I was no longer at the military hospital...was instead at a civilian university hospital with an excellent high risk OB that I was lucky to get in to. My dr that time listened to me, ran every test he could to make sure things were still going good, and when my body couldn't handle the pregnancy any more and it was getting out of his "comfort" zone because of my past experience, he suggested we induce. He worked out an induction plan that let my body take over as much as possible....and he stuck to it. He didn't pressure to do a C-sec. when it went slow. So I liked that. After the last birth I didn't know what to expect...but it went great. Afterwards however I had the worst PPD I have ever had. I was almost put in the hospital because of it.

do you plan on/did you decide to stop having babies because of a traumatic experience with a birth?
I didn't want to have any more like my first....but we didn't exactly plan on my getting pregnant again seven months later, so it really wasn't up to me.

for those with medical issues, how many babies do you (at this time) think you would be up for having before you decided to stop
we are on baby #5 right now. Not sure if we will stop after this one or if we will go to #6....it depends greatly on God's peace for us. We know that 6 is our limit for sure though. My husband's job (Army mechanic) does not pay the best, and we know he won't be out anytime soon...and the Army life is hard with kids. So for us, at least right now, six is our limit. However, we may stop after five...because of my medical reasons. I don't know how many more pregnancies my body can handle and I know I am at the end of that number, just not sure if this is the last one.



daughter_of_faith -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/14/2008 10:12:59 AM)

Manda, your experience with C-sections mirrors my own in many ways. Everyone got to see my son and have a chance to bond with him before I ever laid eyes on him. It was a hard experience.

I remember waking and my (former) M.I.L. was in the room rustling around for something. When I asked her if we had a big boy, she replied, "Not so big...." He was 6 lbs 6 oz.....

Anyway, my son has a great bond with me today...so the first few moments (or hours) didn't affect us too much...



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/14/2008 10:18:47 AM)

I think it's just that transition of the baby being "mostly" YOURS (because of it's location inside of you) to being shared. I don't know that it really is just for traumatic birth situations, it can happen in a good birth too if people are too pushy on the parents for "their" time with the baby when they visit...of course all depending on the state of things with the parents too...their mental state and their own expectations. A lot of times parents don't even know what they want in this area, but when it happens they know what they DON'T want. That is my observation as a mother of four.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/14/2008 10:40:21 AM)

quote:

A lot of times parents don't even know what they want in this area, but when it happens they know what they DON'T want.


I agree. I don't think I could have verbalized that I didn't want anyone except Brian to hold our baby before I got to, but I definitely knew I was upset when MIL told me she had held my beautiful baby boy and I had barely even gotten a glimpse of him yet. It's not something you think of when you think your labor is going to be normal.

When Noah was sent to the bigger hospital, Brian was at a loss of what to do. I wasn't looking good then, the baby was in trouble...he was only 19, and really has never been good in emergencies. My mom said she found him crying in the hallway, not knowing whether to stay and wait for me to get out of surgery or to follow the ambulance. My mom told him she would stay with me, and my dad would drive him to be with Noah. She knew exactly what I would have wanted if I could have told him what to do.



manda59 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/14/2008 11:18:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
I don't think I could have verbalized that I didn't want anyone except Brian to hold our baby before I got to, but I definitely knew I was upset when MIL told me she had held my beautiful baby boy and I had barely even gotten a glimpse of him yet. It's not something you think of when you think your labor is going to be normal.



The thing is, I *had* specified that I didn't want my parents coming. My mother even said "I know you said not to come but ..... "

Them being there just added to the overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and loss of control.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/14/2008 12:06:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
I don't think I could have verbalized that I didn't want anyone except Brian to hold our baby before I got to, but I definitely knew I was upset when MIL told me she had held my beautiful baby boy and I had barely even gotten a glimpse of him yet. It's not something you think of when you think your labor is going to be normal.



The thing is, I *had* specified that I didn't want my parents coming. My mother even said "I know you said not to come but ..... "

Them being there just added to the overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and loss of control.

consider the source Manda....you have never had much good to say about your mother, esp in the area of respecting YOU and YOUR wishes. It's good that you knew what you wanted....but most women don't until they are in that situation. It's WRONG that your mother ignored those wishes for her own gratification. She did it purposely. I doubt Donna's situation was the same though...I doubt her family PURPOSELY set out to go against her wishes and to upset her. Any normal person wouldn't do that...but you really wouldn't think about your role either unless you have been on the other side of that bed.



solo_soprano22 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/18/2008 1:33:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
I don't think I could have verbalized that I didn't want anyone except Brian to hold our baby before I got to, but I definitely knew I was upset when MIL told me she had held my beautiful baby boy and I had barely even gotten a glimpse of him yet. It's not something you think of when you think your labor is going to be normal.



The thing is, I *had* specified that I didn't want my parents coming. My mother even said "I know you said not to come but ..... "

Them being there just added to the overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and loss of control.


[8|] I think something similar happened to my sis (with her ex-in-laws). She had to have two C-sections because she was so high-risk, and I think my nephew almost died.

She told me the other day that when they first showed him to her over the partition, all she really saw was his big nose. :) Lol.



lexie -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 10:43:23 AM)

quote:

this baby who looked nothing like either of us and who I felt no connection to. He was not just blue-eyed, but light blue-eyed, and was mostly bald with a very little light blond hair.


That is such an interesting comment to me. My sister said the same thing at first, because her baby didn't look anything like her she had a hard time at first. Maybe it was because I wasn't expecting my daughter to look like me (knowing she could look like anything based on Dh and I) but Akeelah looked nothing like me and there were no feelings like my sister had.

quote:

for those with medical issues, how many babies do you (at this time) think you would be up for having before you decided to stop


So far, I've had no problems with my one birth. But Dh and I have already discussed this, if we come up against medical problems we will continue having children through adoption until we get to the number we would like.



manda59 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 11:27:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lexie
That is such an interesting comment to me. My sister said the same thing at first, because her baby didn't look anything like her she had a hard time at first. Maybe it was because I wasn't expecting my daughter to look like me (knowing she could look like anything based on Dh and I) but Akeelah looked nothing like me and there were no feelings like my sister had.




lexie, did your sister have any kind of medical intervention in her delivery?



lexie -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 12:11:50 PM)

Manda, no my sister didn't have any major interventions (there were some small issues), but that is why I was most interested by my sisters reaction, and reading about the women here who mentioned their children not looking like them. I understand not having your baby placed in your arms right away and the feelings that come afterward when you have had medical interventions. I was surprised to hear my sister say the same thing.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 1:39:51 PM)

lexie...did she have PPD? (That's what it sounds like to me.....more then baby blues, PPD can really throw you. They SAY that it isn't diagnosed til later then delivery time, but she could very well have had that...watch in the future to see when/if she has another baby)



lexie -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 2:11:32 PM)

She just had her baby last week, but I'm keeping an eye on her (as best as I can two provinces away!) She is doing much better now and is definitely bonding with him but it was interesting to hear her say that he didn't look like her and that is what she was expecting. Because I didn't have that expectation, it's new to me, and it was actually good (in a way) to hear other women on here say that.



TammyIsBlessed -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 5:22:47 PM)

Figured I'd ask this question in here....

If I have to be induced (either due to fetal assessment saying I need to from going overdue, or from water breaking and nothing happening - iow a medical reason) - would it be better to induce by breaking the waters or by pitocin?

I've always been induced with pitocin. With my 1st my water had broken completely and nothing happened. I was induced with pitocin after 8 hrs. After a about 8 hrs of that I got an epidural which worked very well! 6 hrs later I started pushing, 2 hrs later we had our baby.

But with #2 and #3 I only had a leak to start. Again was induced with pitocin because contractions had not started yet. Hours later when my water DID finally break in full - I went from 3cm - 10 cm in an hour.

So - with the previous 2 labours under consideration - I was wondering if breaking my waters would jumpstart things enough that I wouldn't need pitocin. And would that be better?



clag4christ -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 5:26:45 PM)

My water broke on it's own with Jael and my contractions didn't start coming in regular patterns until I started walking and 'augmenting' my own labor. I'd say that unless the fetal assessment shows that your baby is struggling in some way, I'd refuse the induction all together. Is there some concern other than going 'over due' that is making the doctors want to induce you?



TammyIsBlessed -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 5:38:40 PM)

They're not wanting to at this point. I just want to be prepared in case it happens again.

With #1 my water and full out broken and the head was not engaged so they were concerned about cord prolapse - so I could only lay on my back. Because I had been checked the "clock" had now started with delivering by a certain time, so they had to induce me.

With #2 I had a leak, they checked me to see if the head was engaged and it was - but again the "clock" had now started.

With #3 I was 10 days overdue when they did a fetal assessment and found low amniotic fluid so they had to induce.

My dr wants me to come in right away if my water breaks because of the possibility of cord prolapse - especially since in subsequent deliveries the baby's head often does not engage until labour begins.



Sideways -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 6:10:43 PM)

I didn't make it that far, but my midwives told me that once you go past 2 weeks overdue, there is no benefit to keeping the baby in longer and possible dangers that can start to crop up (like placental deterioration and other things).

They also thought that if you body wasn't at least starting to get ready for delivery by 2 weeks overdue, then you were probably going to need some help one way or the other. I'm sure there are women out there who went 3 or 4 weeks overdue, and their babies were just fine, but the midwives felt that once you went past 2 weeks, the odds starting tipping against you.

I started leaking at 9 days overdue, so it wasn't an issue for me, but I would've let them induce at 2 weeks, if it came to that. But baby never engaged his head, and I don't know how I could've changed that. Even after the induction started, I was never flat on my back - usually more like sitting up.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 6:22:49 PM)

Tammy, in your case, I think I would opt for breaking the water completely first. Your body has shown a pattern and you may not even need pitocin if your water is broken. My body does similarly and my doctor agreed to break my water first if I needed to be induced with Levi. I didn't need to, but that is what we agreed on.

I tend to walk around at 2cm for 2 weeks, take 18+ hours of hard labor to get to 4 or 5 cm, then I get an epidural, my water is broken artificially, and the rest is pretty quick.[:D]



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 8:48:33 PM)

Tammy....from my experience of having been through both, I would agree with Donna...you know by now what your body will do. I would say that if they break your water in the hospital you will have a greater chance of having them make sure the cord is out of the way, so that takes the risk out of it that way (they can do an ultrasound or something and find out if the cord would be near being in the way before they broke it).

quote:

I didn't make it that far, but my midwives told me that once you go past 2 weeks overdue, there is no benefit to keeping the baby in longer and possible dangers that can start to crop up (like placental deterioration and other things).

that depends on who the person is. Some women naturally are done with their bun by 36-37 weeks, others go all the way to 43 weeks with no problems. Dr's just don't want to admit it and insurance runs the time line usually. The 40 week mark is an AVERAGE mark.



MrsTracy72 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 9:47:27 PM)

quote:

The thing is, I *had* specified that I didn't want my parents coming. My mother even said "I know you said not to come but ..... "

Them being there just added to the overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and loss of control.



LOL, I said the same thing and I went into Labor on a Tuesday night, and by Wednesday morning, I knew I couldn't put off going to the hospital any longer so I called the doc and he told me to go. Then I was so stupid, I called my mom to tell her not to come, but I was going to be checked and that I would call her if they decided to keep me.

I am not kidding about this. My mom lived right by me at the time, and all I had to do was grab my bag and go. That is exactly what we did. We did drive a little slower because I was having really hard contractions and every bump hurt.

We get to the hospital, I get to my room, and here is my mom, already there talking to the nurse. Yep, she BEAT me to the hospital. I don't know how she got there because she had to pass our house, but she got there first.

And she stayed for the delivery. But in the end I was glad she was there.



clag4christ -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 10:03:23 PM)

Tammy...just in case you didn't know...though you probably do...the 'clock' for a baby once the water has been broken (or breaks naturally) is 24 hours. [:)]

It does sound to me like Donna is right and that breaking of your water, if you had to be induced, would be the best option. But I'd personally, love for you to go into labor on your own and not need an induction! [:D]



TammyIsBlessed -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/19/2008 10:07:55 PM)

As in the baby needs to be born within 24 hrs right?

Oh believe me, that's totally what I'm praying for!!! And anytime now, anytime!



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/20/2008 12:21:21 AM)

quote:

Tammy...just in case you didn't know...though you probably do...the 'clock' for a baby once the water has been broken (or breaks naturally) is 24 hours.

yeah but they generally want the baby BORN by then, not just the labor started by then. Since it's hard to say how long a woman will be in labor they don't let you go too long. With her history of quick labor's she MAY get away with more time, but don't count on it.



PrudentWife -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/20/2008 4:13:13 AM)

Not all Drs put you on a 24 hour clock after water breaks. My Dr never once mentioned a time frame or a need to get the baby out simply because my water had broken. It really depends on the doctor.

Happy Due Date, Tammy!! Hope today is your day [:)]



solo_soprano22 -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/20/2008 6:11:55 AM)

Hey ladies, I wanted to ask you all something. It really can be asked in the natural thread too, but it would just cause issues (you'll see once I post the question). Plus I'm not a big fan of half the stuff mentioned in there lol.

I was thinking about ob/gyn's. If you had one during pregnancy and planned on delivering with them, but they had their own beliefs and held to them...(not about huge subjects), but they were contrary to something you wanted/believed, would you try to work something out with the doctor or find another? Or maybe just go with the flow? I suppose something like insurance could be a factor (don't know how it works for pregnancy/delivery).

I know docs have their own opinions/beliefs and patients don't always agree with them-- and I know some will accommodate patients' beliefs and some always go with their own personal beliefs as a doc, and I've seen some pretty bad stuff happen because of that. But if you knew ahead of time, would you try to find a new doctor? What would you do?



Sideways -> RE: Do we need an UNNatural childbirth support and discussion thread too? (1/20/2008 8:36:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrudentWife

Not all Drs put you on a 24 hour clock after water breaks. My Dr never once mentioned a time frame or a need to get the baby out simply because my water had broken. It really depends on the doctor.

Happy Due Date, Tammy!! Hope today is your day [:)]


Mine neither. They just wanted to see good progress towards the end goal. Being 3-4cm at 31 hours past water breaking was not good progress. [&:]

Happy Due Date, Tammy. [:)]



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