Is Marriage all about sex? (Full Version)

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ael84 -> Is Marriage all about sex? (1/31/2008 2:57:26 AM)

Alright maybe I shouldn't be asking this question because I'm not married and shouldn't be thinking about this. But at the same token, I'm asking this because of all the messages I get from other people, namely other Christians. So that's why I'm asking this in the marriage forum, because I suspect you guys would know more than me.

I'm practicing chastity and while I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, I decided that the next one has to be someone who I really want to end up marrying. I've also decided to refrain from a lot of physical affection (such as a lot of kissing) until we're engaged or close to the marriage date. I decided this because although I really did care for the last boyfriend I had (my first one) I know that I was too physical, even though nothing sexual happened (other than kissing).

I recently confided this to a close friend who is already married and she completely disagreed with me! She told me that she has concerns for people who go from a small peck on the cheek before marriage to having sex after the wedding night. Apparently, something about that wasn't "normal". I've found that based on that view, a lot of Christians really place a heavy emphasis on physical affection before marriage and having sex a lot after marriage.

Even a girl I know who is Jehovah's Witness (who aren't Christians really, but tend to be a stricter on average about sex than the average Christian) told me that marriages fail based on two things: sex and money. So apparently, having sex is what a marriage is about.

I browse through here, and I can see that sex in a marriage is a top-notch priority. Talking to other Christians and it's a top priority, even more than communication. Divorce rates have been attributed to lack of sex or some related problem. So marriage is just about sex, so it seems.

I know this isn't my concern at the moment, but if marriage is all about sex, then I don't think I want to get married. I'm not a very sexual person and with my old bf, I had a lot of trouble with just light kissing. I don't know, I read that one guy's book-- "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and although I didn't agree with everything he wrote, I was heavily influenced by how he approached being cautious with physical contact.

A lot of my married friends told me that I should not ever consider getting married until I accept the fact that marriage is almost all about sex, and I have an immature attitude. I guess my attitude must be immature to an extent, but if marriage is just about sex and nothing else-- like companionship, shared spirituality, rearing children, etc.-- then I don't really want anything part of that. I don't want to feel like an object in a marriage and I don't want to ever feel like I "owe" someone my body in a marriage either, but it seems like if you don't (especially being the wife) you aren't being submissive (which means you're close to sinning) and you're sinning (even worse).

Sometimes though I wish my married friends wouldn't consult me as their personal therapists because hearing all of these things is just making me disillusioned. But I'm too nice to say no, and when I do I'm told "when you get married, you'll see."



blessednw -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (1/31/2008 3:34:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ael84

I'm asking this because of all the messages I get from other people, namely other Christians.

A lot of my married friends told me that I should not ever consider getting married until I accept the fact that marriage is almost all about sex, and I have an immature attitude. I guess my attitude must be immature to an extent, but if marriage is just about sex and nothing else-- like companionship, shared spirituality, rearing children, etc.-- then I don't really want anything part of that. I don't want to feel like an object in a marriage and I don't want to ever feel like I "owe" someone my body in a marriage either, but it seems like if you don't (especially being the wife) you aren't being submissive (which means you're close to sinning) and you're sinning (even worse).

Sometimes though I wish my married friends wouldn't consult me as their personal therapists because hearing all of these things is just making me disillusioned. But I'm too nice to say no, and when I do I'm told "when you get married, you'll see."


It really depends upon who you are asking and at what stage in their lives they are at when you ask them.

I would really caution you against developing your idea of "what marriage is ALL about" from discussions with young newlyweds. Maybe the young women you are talking to are saying, "Hey, its more about sex than I realized, because a guy's drive is higher when he is younger". I don't know, but I remember hearing this kind of complaint from peers when I was a young married.

Marriage is not just about sex since people need to take care of children, cook food for the family, work, and provide and perhaps keep up a home and yard and car. Christian couples should also be focused on serving the Lord beyond just having kids... Marriage is about a shared life.

But as I said, at different stages, it can seem to some to be about super frequent sex.

I want to say that marriage breakups are not about sex per se, but the misuse of it. If a man is complaining about his wife, but is no longer desiring to be with her and resents her so he decides to be with another (adultery) or turn to pornography, lust with the eyes, is that about sex? Or his hardened heart? He may have a legitimate complaint, but he is not dealing with it in a godly way.

We say a guy might have a "sex problem" but biblically, he has a sin problem, which comes from a hardened heart. Sin springs from rebellion.

Or a wife who complains about her spouse not treating her special nor being romantic and sex being more like a duty....so she looks for excitement outside. Is that about sex? Or is that about her selfish choice when she has a longing? Maybe that is coming more from a hardened heart, rather than a "sex problem". It seems more like the hardening of rebellion.

Our problems are sin based, which are rebellion driven. We don't like something and take the problem in our own hands, and then sin, and often, blame our mates for it.

And yeah, if people are feeling used and neglected and their husbands are using Scripture to make them feel guilty so that they are in "sin" so should comply immediately, I would say this would be a trial to the normal female heart. Sex should arise out of a desire to please rather than a "have to but hate to" kind of attitude.

So sorry you are only hearing, "this is what marriage is all about. Get used to it".



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (1/31/2008 7:11:05 AM)

Is marriage all about sex?

Not hardly. [8D]

How sad that your friends seem to think it is.

Sex is good. Sex is wonderful. Sex is a big part of marriage and sexual problems can cause or result from marriage problems. But I don't think you are immature to think that children, companionship, non-sexual love and the like are part of marriage too.

Sin and selfishness are what cause marriages to fail. And sex and money are two things that it's easy to be selfish about. [;)] If you and the man you marry each make every effort to love and please the other before you please yourself, neither of you will feel used or neglected. So pick your man wisely.

I think it's awesome that you are desiring to live chastely as a single. Yes, when you get married you will then have to learn. But learning is good. [8D] Dh and I chose to court with very little physical touching, and 5 1/2 years into marriage we are still learning and enjoying our life together better than on our honeymoon (sex and all). There have been highs and lows (severe lows even). But it wasn't all about sex. [&:]



Szaftoo -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (1/31/2008 9:37:26 AM)

If the sex is satisfying in a marriage, very little importance is put on it. If the sex is not good, it becomes what the marriage is based on.

Don't listen to your friends.



Auben -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (1/31/2008 10:16:44 AM)

Marriage is not all about sex, but sex is a very strong means of connection between a couple. If its not something you're interested in, I would recommend you not marry. I know its not merely a fun activity. Sometimes its comforting. Sometimes its a bond when you can't seem to agree on anything. Its a way to show you'll always care for the other person, that you know them and want to fulfill them.

I also think Szaftoo is right. Whenever something is going wrong, especially an important area like sex or finances, it gets expressed and brought up and argued and discussed quite a lot. That doesn't mean it overshadows the rest of married life but it does mean that it is important, and that people can have different ways to handle it (thus the disagreement). It is an issue that you want to be in harmony about before you marry.


I respect that you want to limit your physical contact. Try not to take your friend's words to heart. She personally could not go from a peck to sex in one night. I couldn't either. I would have hyperventilated on my wedding night. [:D] I needed some longer kisses to get me used to the idea. I've known people who had their first kiss at their wedding and been just fine that night. [;)] So that's not weird either.



mellysue -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (1/31/2008 10:29:08 AM)

I can see why people think it would be so weird to go from barely kissing to sex in just one day.
And yes, that can be quite an adjustment. But it doesn't have to be shocking or make you go crazy if you handle it well.
I applaud you on your commitment to purity. Please, continue with that goal. No matter what any married person you know tells you, being pure on your wedding night is well worth it.

That being said, I think that when a couple gets engaged (or at least gets close to the wedding date) they should start to talk about sex in a safe manner. Not in a going to make it hard to stay pure kind of way, but rather discuss their expectations and what they think sex is, what they think will happen on their wedding night and honeymoon, etc..

Some people jump straight into sex the wedding night and have no problems. Some are so embarrassed that they can't actually consummate for days. Some decide to take things slowly and work up to sex.

Whatever is best for you and your future husband is what you decide you (plural) are comfortable with.

Sex is great, Sex is lovely and fun and wonderful and bonding and satisfying. Sex can also become abused, used as a bargaining chip, make you feel bad about yourself and feel like a chore. It really just depends on your and your spouse's perspective of it.

Most marriages break up over sex and money? I can see how that might be true. But I think those are symptoms of underlying issues revolving around respect and trust and placing faith in God.
If I respect my husband and vice versa, then we are both going to treat sex in the manner that is respectful and not hurting of the other. The same thing with money. If we respect each other then we are going to respect the family budget, other's needs etc...
And especially in times of crisis, we need to have faith that God will get us through whatever hard times befall us.
I think marriages fail because one or both parties lose respect for each other and take their eyes off God.
It's just that Sex and money become the biggest indicators of these issues.



buckifn -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (1/31/2008 9:14:54 PM)

Sex is a gift from God designed for a man and a woman to share within the holy bonds of matrimony. It is one portion of many, many things which makes up the marriage. There is also other very important things such as the couples spiritual relationship with God and with each other, their commitment to praying together and communicating openly, their honesty before and after marriage, and their views on finances. Any of those things, or the absence thereof, can either enhance or destroy a marriage.

Whoever told you marriage is all about sex has probably never got up at 2 a.m. to change a dirty diaper or feed a crying baby either. Marriage is a lot more about partnership with each other and with God than anything else. Sex is wonderful but you have to realize something could happen that makes physical sexual activity impossible such as an accident, sickness, or something of that nature. Can your marriage survive that? If it were based on sex alone then of course it wouldn't.



DaveW -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 6:50:27 AM)

I have heard this quote:

If the sex is good it is about 10% of the marriage.
If the sex is bad, it is about 90% of the marriage.

I wonder if that says something about your friends....



LoyalFriend -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 7:15:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Auben

Marriage is not all about sex, but sex is a very strong means of connection between a couple. If its not something you're interested in, I would recommend you not marry. I know its not merely a fun activity. Sometimes its comforting. Sometimes its a bond when you can't seem to agree on anything. Its a way to show you'll always care for the other person, that you know them and want to fulfill them.
I would suggest that you are totally honest about your thoughts with yourself and potential husband about this matter. Marriage is alot more than sex, but it is very important in marriage and scripture speaks plenty about it. A sexless marriage or close to being one is very unlikely that it will a happy one.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 9:48:08 AM)

If these are female friends, I'm wondering if they're telling you this because they view their husband's as sex-maniacs and themselves have rather lost interest in it? It seems to be a common problem. Husband would like it 3-4 times a week and the wife is tired or busy with babies and says "You're awful. All you think about is sex. Why can't you just love me and forget about sex for a while?" or else just "I have a headache" and the husband is baffled and thinks he just needs to ask more, which makes her think he's *really* crazed and she resists more, so he nags more, and so it goes.

I can see a situation like that making someone feel like its' all about sex. [&:]



jaimestarcross -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 12:11:57 PM)

Whatever the focus is in the marriage then that's what it's all about....
for some it's sex(not enough, too much or spouse isn't faithful)
for others it's communication(lack of or too much) - for some it's family(family members are too involved in the marriage, or lack of involvement etc)
for some it's money(too much, or not enough) - for others it's kids(too many, none, one spouse wants one more and the other spouse doesn't ... sometimes a spouse has children by someone else or several someones) - for some it's too many former spouses or mates who create trouble for the new spouse.... so as you can see it's not ALL about SEX!

As for being happy in a marriage without sex - consider my marriage ... we haven't had sex in almost two years --- I'm waiting for surgery for removing polyps and tumors in the vaginal area (this happens Feb.25) --- we have a good marriage and are "creative" when it comes to intimacy. My hubby comes straight home from work - and we love being together and he calls me every day when he's at work(usually several times a day)
- many people who know my situation find it hard to believe that we don't have real intimacy and are as close as any couple who are able to enjoy having a normal sex life. For us it's all about the focal point - we focus on Christ and try to reflect Christian love to those around us and make ourselves available for doing whatever the Lord lays on our hearts to be doing for others and pointing the lost to Him.



stellaluna -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 12:17:34 PM)

You've gotten really good answers for your question already, but I want to say something about this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: ael84
Alright maybe I shouldn't be asking this question because I'm not married and shouldn't be thinking about this.

It is perfectly fine and normal and perhaps even desirable to be thinking about this. Don't be fooled into thinking that to remain "pure" you have to banish any thought or discussion or feeling or whatever about sex from your life.



DaveW -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 12:38:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna

It is perfectly fine and normal and perhaps even desirable to be thinking about this. Don't be fooled into thinking that to remain "pure" you have to banish any thought or discussion or feeling or whatever about sex from your life.
Absolutely. Now is EXACTLY the time to be concerned with these issues and to address them in a way you see as proper.



GeorgiaNerd -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 12:45:40 PM)

quote:

Absolutely. Now is EXACTLY the time to be concerned with these issues and to address them in a way you see as proper.


Agreed 100%. One word of caution, though. Sex is really an issue when the levels of desire are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. I would advise that you marry someone that has similar levels. In other words, I would avoid marrying a hypersexual if I was you.



stellaluna -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 12:48:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedcoatMello

quote:

Absolutely. Now is EXACTLY the time to be concerned with these issues and to address them in a way you see as proper.


Agreed 100%. One word of caution, though. Sex is really an issue when the levels of desire are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. I would advise that you marry someone that has similar levels. In other words, I would avoid marrying a hypersexual if I was you.

Also good advice and another reason why it is good to thing about these things.



Papa-san -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 12:54:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaveW

I have heard this quote:

If the sex is good it is about 10% of the marriage.
If the sex is bad, it is about 90% of the marriage.

I wonder if that says something about your friends....
This statement is so accurate it's not even funny!
I have friends who have a sex life that is 'less than optimal'. When I spend time with the husband, I hear about it a lot. What she isn't doing, when she isn't doing it. What is wrong when she does... On, and on... Sometimes I'll hear the man describe what HE is doing wrong or is trying to figure it out (which is a good sign) but it seems that there is a LOT of misery attached to a bad sex life.

When with a person who has a good sex life, you almost never hear anything about it, and those rare comments are usually shared in the mixed company of both (or more) couples together in fellowship. Those comments are almost exclusively positive and edifying!

My wife and I have a very good sexual relationship, and the topic really never comes up, probably because of this. From what I have heard from dozens of couples, it seems to hinge upon what each marriage pertner holds as a priority in regards to sexual activity. If a man is in it for his own pleasure, chances are good that their sex life will suffer. If a man is interested in giving her pleasure, there seem to be relatively few problems.

Either way, God is the one who already knows who it will be and what it will be like. I can say for sure that He will honor your comittment to stay pure. If your future husband is the same way, your sex life will be phenominally blessed. (He promises this) You two will grow into it from ground zero. I will tell you that I almost envy this possibility! I wish I would have known better when I was younger!

Sex is important. It is an integral part of most marriages. (The exceptions are RARE) If you go into it with a desire to give him pleasure, this will do much. Take your time and find a man who is of like mind, and it'll blow your mind!

The other thing to remember is that it is only a part of marriage, and as time goes on, it seems to be less and less important as other concerns enter the relationship. Children, carreer, helping family as they age, etc...
But if it is a healthy sexual relationship, (both partners prefer to give than receive), it will remain a wonderful blessing even when it is less frequent!



DaveW -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 3:19:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JimboFletch
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaveW
Normal - yes. Acceptable - no.
I'm confused, is it only acceptable if 40 plus men have the drive of a 20 year-old? For starters, men reach their peak at 17, more than 20 years before women - so there is essentially a flip-flop in desires until after, say, 60.

Or what do you you think is acceptable? I'm honestly not trying to be a wiseacre, I'm just confused about what the current thought is on hormonal responsibility.
Well I originally answered this in another thread (where it was from) but it got moved to the women only folder (and I don't qualify to answer there).

What the OP asked was if it was OK for her husband to leave her wanting it all the time because his drive had diminished over the last 5 years. I answered that it was normal for the drive to wane but not for him to leave her in need. That was not acceptable. Even if he can't perform like a 20 year old there are many other ways to satisfy her and as a husband that is his responsibility. No one else can (legally) do that.



miasma -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/1/2008 3:35:02 PM)

quote:

I wish my married friends wouldn't consult me as their personal therapists because hearing all of these things is just making me disillusioned. But I'm too nice to say no


You REALLY should start saying no.

Marriage is NOT all about sex. Any couple who thinks so, is definately going to be having some problems. Or they're just using a bad sex life as an excuse to avoid dealing with the REAL issues.

I'm glad you decided to ask outside your circle of friends, because they are definately giving you some bad, and just plain wrong, information.

quote:

If its not something you're interested in, I would recommend you not marry.


I can't agree with that, if you're not interested in sex, it's not impossible at all you could find someone similiar, who is interested in love, companionship, intimacy, etc., but not sex.

Some of my favourite postsecrets are the ones saying "We've been married a year, and we're both still virgins, and happy!"

Don't let other people, and their personal problems/hang-ups, try to tell you what's "normal."



Hislittleone -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/4/2008 2:45:21 AM)

quote:

I don't want to feel like an object in a marriage and I don't want to ever feel like I "owe" someone my body in a marriage either, but it seems like if you don't (especially being the wife) you aren't being submissive (which means you're close to sinning) and you're sinning (even worse).


Emphasis added. I find that a very sad and misguided attitude. A husband and wife are supposed to submit to each other. The husband's body belongs to the wife and the wife's to her husband. But if the husband (who tends to have a higher drive than the wife) is following the command to love his wife as Christ loves the church and to love her as he would love his own body then the husband will not try to manipulate the wife into being intimate when she doesn't feel like it by quoting the verse about wives being submissive and the one about your body is not your own. That would be spiritual abuse (i.e. using scriptures to manipulate another person into doing what you want them to do). And a wife who is married to a Christian man who is following those commands will naturally respond with love and willingness in the area of physical intimacy (unless there are issues such as past abuse, physical illness, emotional/mental illness etc.)

Physical intimacy within marriage is a beautiful thing. It is a wonderful expression of love. It's an added blessing that is many times twisted into something God did not intend it to be. But it is definitely not all that marriage is about. There are so many different aspects of marriage (children, finances, careers, extended family, companionship, spiritual etc.).

It sounds like your friends have some issues in their marriages than need to be addressed (between them and their husbands, not them and you). It would probably be a good idea to let them know that you don't want to hear about this stuff anymore.

If hearing about their problems is making you nervous about future marriage..... Well, don't worry. Marriage can be quite wonderful. [;)]



42servehymn -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/5/2008 12:00:39 PM)

One of the greatest things I have discovered in my own marriage is that if I allow myself to feel joy from giving pleasure then the lines between giving and receiving become indiscernible. That goes for in the bedroom and out of the bedroom as well. Pleasing my husband really does bring me joy and that attitude changes everything. That frame of mind creates a cycle in our marriage that is truly wonderful. I do something for him that I know will be pleasing for him and his pleasure brings me joy making me want to repeat the pattern. Also expressing pleasure when my husband does something for me brings him joy and makes him want to repeat the pattern. In our marriage I find that it is really important to express gratitude and that drives the positive behavior. Everyone likes to be appreciated for their efforts and it is one of the easiest ways to have a satisfying marriage that I know of. Receiving joy from giving pleasure transformed my sex life as well. I think that as a single person it is hard to fathom the feelings of love that you will one day have for your spouse. I believe God provides the ability to love but some people rob themselves of the experience.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/5/2008 2:00:33 PM)

quote:

Pleasing my husband really does bring me joy and that attitude changes everything. That frame of mind creates a cycle in our marriage that is truly wonderful. I do something for him that I know will be pleasing for him and his pleasure brings me joy making me want to repeat the pattern.


I agree! That is a very helpful attitude to have, and has gotten me through many times when my hormones were telling me I wasn't interested in intimacy.
I would have missed some wonderful connection with my dh if I cut him off anytime I "just didn't feel like it right now".



Tameko -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/8/2008 6:00:31 PM)

Well, No marriage is not all about sex. Marriage is what you make of it. Before I reply on anything. I would like to say. It is good that you are asking before you get married. I am recently married and if I would have listen to my friends or coworker. I would have been single today. I don't know what is wrong with married woman today. A lot is bitter and unhappy. So, they try to poison a single person soul before they get to the alter. You have to be careful what you let people say to you.

You are not alone in waiting until you get married. Nothing wrong with not dating until you feel the time is right. Also, I commend you on not a lot of affection before marriage. I am a very affection person and before I got married. I knew what I wanted and I refuse to date for 6 years. Because I was keeping myself for my husband. Yet, most important. I wanted to keep my body a living Sacrifice. Then when I met this guy. We date, got engage. Yet, he wasn't the one. We split.......I met my husband. Didn't date a lot. We made a statement to keep ourselves and got married. What I am saying is. You are not alone.

To the question at hand. You really don't know what you like sexually. If you never had sex. So, you should not write marriage out. I advise anyone before they get married. While you are engage. You should talk about what you expect in a marriage. In the bedroom and out of the bedroom. Some people have different views. It is important to be compatible . If his sex drive is a 10 and you a 2. You are going to have problem. Like I said. I am a very affection person. I knew who I married. Had to be too. Yes, My husband is too. So, we are compatible. The guy I was engage to before hand. He wasn't into that. He wanted his space. Didn't have the same views on marriage. That why he is my ex.

So discuss it before you get married. Sex is not the most important thing. Yet, it is important. Serving God together, Communication, spending quality time. Raising a family.... There are a lot of things.

Before I forget. Don't confuse affection with Sex..... Holding hands, gentle kisses, quality time, enjoying one another company........ Marriage is worth it. Being able to be intimate with your spouse when you want. In the beauty of holiness is a good thing.



lanalounsbury -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/8/2008 8:49:43 PM)

Well...As you can see from my post in this forum I'm not an expert on marriage. But sex :) hee hee....here's my two cents...

Firstly. To address that your friends think it's completely strange to go from a light kiss to sex in one night (marriage night): Um, your friends are TOTALLY wrong. I have non-Christian acquaintances who go from less to more in one night at a bar, so. It is COMPLETELY normal to go from 0-60 in the space of a few hours. And when you are already best friends with that person, and have said your vows then how much more exciting and what better and more beautiful way could there be to start your life together?

Secondly maybe you've been gifted by God to be celibate and have him alone as your husband? Maybe, like Paul and many of the apostles, you are gifted to be single and are therefore able to serve God wholeheartedly without the distractions of sex and the burdens of family?

1 Cor 7:32 "I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband."



deermousie -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/9/2008 9:34:19 PM)

quote:

Sin and selfishness are what cause marriages to fail. And sex and money are two things that it's easy to be selfish about.
says 3cappuccinosmom. This is very insightful.

I like this, too, by DaveW:
quote:

If the sex is good it is about 10% of the marriage.
If the sex is bad, it is about 90% of the marriage.


42servehymn's post (#20) should be photocopied and handed to every person in premarital counseling, it's so right on! Go back and read it again. [:)]

Lanalounsbury said...
quote:

Firstly. To address that your friends think it's completely strange to go from a light kiss to sex in one night (marriage night): Um, your friends are TOTALLY wrong. I have non-Christian acquaintances who go from less to more in one night at a bar, so. It is COMPLETELY normal to go from 0-60 in the space of a few hours. And when you are already best friends with that person, and have said your vows then how much more exciting and what better and more beautiful way could there be to start your life together?


Yes!!! This is super!

As you are getting more interested in the guy that you marry, the hormones are probably going to start flowing, and you'll probably have to struggle to keep the atom bomb from going off until after the wedding! Look forward to it, and God bless you for protecting your chastity now. My husband did, too, and it was like he loved me before he ever knew me because he waited for me. I never had to share his body with anyone else, and that added a lot to trusting him because he never messed around before marriage so he probably wouldn't after, either. You are building the foundation of a good marriage right now.

And your friends! Oi! They need to quit telling horror stories to single women when they don't much know what they are talking about. When you have a baby, a lot of people do the same thing: "Oh, just wait three months; it will be worse!" Why do they torture people with things that aren't true? So cruel and selfish. So now's a good time to practice telling people to not tell you stuff. [:D] (and my baby is now an adult and it never got worse. I could just smack those people for keeping me so needlessly scared all the time).

God bless you, Ael84! You are doing it right, your friends should be ashamed of themselves, and you have a wonderful future to look forward to when you marry the man God picks for you. May you both be enraptured with each other's love!

P.S. The Song of Solomon has been "sanitized" for family readership. Read between the lines - your imagination isn't lying to you.



SR20FL -> RE: Is Marriage all about sex? (2/11/2008 2:47:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ael84
Is Marriage all about sex?

Nope.



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