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RE: ...the wife

 
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RE: ...the wife - 2/14/2008 6:01:38 AM   
_Cinderella_


Posts: 5166
Status: offline 		My husband sometimes refers to me was "the wife." I wish he wouldn't do that. Whenever I hear him say it I say, "I have a name!"

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RE: ...the wife - 2/14/2008 6:07:55 AM   
agapetos


Posts: 5604
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: offline
quote:

Words aren't disrespectful, the intention is.
Actually, words can be very disrespectful, even if the intention is not meant to be...

Just because someone says something in a neutral or respectful way doesn't mean it is respectful.

I kicked up a fuss once when I was referred to (by a man) as (on different occassions as 'darling', 'my lover', 'love', 'sweetheart' and similar terms.

The intention wasn't disrespectful but I found the words disrepectful in the situation.

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Post #: 27
RE: ...the wife - 2/14/2008 6:49:18 AM   
McGuinessMagee


Posts: 4029
Joined: 4/13/2005
Status: offline 		In cold black and white it looks pretty awful but for me it's a very cultural thing.

Here in Australia you will often hear men refer to 'The Missus' and there is no disrespect in their tone. It's usually said in the context of something like, "I'll have to run that by the Missus."

But then those same men are just as likely to interchange 'The Missus' for 'The Bosslady' so I guess it's just how it's said.

Kylie

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Post #: 28
RE: ...the wife - 2/14/2008 7:12:48 AM   
agapetos


Posts: 5604
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: offline 		Kyle, had to chuckle at your post...

I babysat for a couple yesterday and your post reminded me of them... He often refers to her a 'She'...

as in 'She, who must be obeyed!'

Funny thing is about them, neither seem to do much telling each other what to do or obeying each other, they just muddle along really well

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Post #: 29
RE: ...the wife - 2/16/2008 8:51:02 PM   
Lycea

 

Posts: 205
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Kansas
Status: offline 		It's like "the little woman..." or "there's a bun in the oven..." some people are going to think it is funny, others are going to cringe or find it offensive. I don't like it. That is my opinion. I know there are guys who use it who simply are clueless as to what is coming out of their mouths, I know some. But the real question is if it bugs "the wife." If so, she needs to express that to "the husband."

As a guy, you can always take your buddy aside and ask him if he has ever considered how that makes his wife feel about her value.
Post #: 30
RE: ...the wife - 2/16/2008 9:40:42 PM   
Ps103


Posts: 11536
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Here, now
Status: offline 		I much prefer "the wife" to "the old battleaxe," "the ball and chain" or "the old lady."

I still like Her Royal Highness better, though

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Post #: 31
RE: ...the wife - 2/16/2008 9:52:57 PM   
Focusing


Posts: 5731
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		"The Wife" makes me cringe!! I think it's rude and disrespectful. As if she's some sort of possession.

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Post #: 32
RE: ...the wife - 2/17/2008 10:16:31 AM   
car2ner


Posts: 2775
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
Status: offline 		ps103, I always look forward to your replies. I was a gonna bring up "ball and chain" ifin you didn't.

And how about the old joke, "call me anything but late for supper".

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Post #: 33
RE: ...the wife - 2/17/2008 10:18:55 AM   
WhiteRoseBlessings


Posts: 26759
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ps103

I much prefer "the wife" to "the old battleaxe," "the ball and chain" or "the old lady."

I still like Her Royal Highness better, though


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Post #: 34
RE: ...the wife - 2/17/2008 10:20:16 AM   
WhiteRoseBlessings


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quote:

ORIGINAL: car2ner

ps103, I always look forward to your replies.
I agree. I'm trying to figure out how to get a book going that is dedicated soley to her witticisms.

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Post #: 35
RE: ...the wife - 2/17/2008 2:22:50 PM   
CoeurdeLeon


Posts: 9064
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: online
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ps103

I much prefer "the wife" to "the old battleaxe," "the ball and chain" or "the old lady."

I still like Her Royal Highness better, though



I call my kids the girlchild and the mancub. If'n I had more than one each, then each one would have their own particular moniker, preceeded by "the". I look at it as sort of status or a title, ya know? Like THE Queen. Wife is her title. <shrugs>


edited to add ~ yeah, the more I think about it in relation to how I talk about my kids, the more I think it's like saying 'the one and only'. That's how I mean it when I do it. There is one and only girlchild and one and only mancub so to say "my" would be an unnecessary differentiation.

< Message edited by CoeurdeLeon -- 2/17/2008 2:32:11 PM >

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Post #: 36
RE: ...the wife - 2/17/2008 2:57:28 PM   
WhiteRoseBlessings


Posts: 26759
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline 		That's a very interesting point.

Fritz, ironically as much as I cringe when I hear "the (spouse)", I have never done so when I read about the mancub or the girlchild from you. In fact, I have always liked those particular nicknames. They seem to me have been given by a loving and protective momma.


I'm going to have to give this whole thing some more thought.


Thanks a lot.

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Post #: 37
RE: ...the wife - 2/17/2008 3:45:29 PM   
CoeurdeLeon


Posts: 9064
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: online 		Sharon-Marie, this has nothing to do with the subject but, I could see your whole post on my monitor except for the last line. So I read your nice post and then scrolled down and saw...

Thanks a lot.


Gave me a giggle!

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Post #: 38
RE: ...the wife - 2/17/2008 4:21:43 PM   
WhiteRoseBlessings


Posts: 26759
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline 		LOL!

Just trying to do my part to spread a little sunshine.

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Post #: 39
RE: ...the wife - 2/18/2008 3:38:52 PM   
shelaughed


Posts: 236
Status: offline 		DH and I endearingly refer to one another as "husband" and "wife".

I agree with the posters who have said, depends on the intent and/or influction.

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Post #: 40
RE: ...the wife - 2/18/2008 9:19:52 PM   
HisCovenant


Posts: 4484
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		I don't mind being called "the wife" b/c it's obvious in everything he does that dh respects and loves me. If it (or anything else so unimportant) did bother me and I asked him to quit, he would do it.

My favorite is when he calls me "the Cruise Director."

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Post #: 41
RE: ...the wife - 2/19/2008 10:10:24 AM   
ajlewis


Posts: 251
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: State of Confusion
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ps103

I much prefer "the wife" to "the old battleaxe," "the ball and chain" or "the old lady."

I still like Her Royal Highness better, though

..."the old battleaxe,"??! Oh,no...!!!

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Post #: 42
RE: ...the wife - 2/20/2008 10:36:53 PM   
Ps103


Posts: 11536
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Here, now
Status: offline

I have heard men say that.

I have also known women to whom it could be reasonably applied

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Post #: 43
RE: ...the wife - 2/20/2008 11:05:36 PM   
manda59


Posts: 5757
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline 		There's another British phrase for "wife" which is "her indoors".

< Message edited by manda59 -- 2/21/2008 8:02:54 AM >

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Post #: 44
RE: ...the wife - 2/21/2008 7:48:08 AM   
car2ner


Posts: 2775
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
Status: offline 		"her indoors" interesting...

I guess you'd call my m'love and I "us outside".

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Post #: 45
RE: ...the wife - 2/21/2008 7:55:12 AM   
WhiteRoseBlessings


Posts: 26759
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline

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Post #: 46
RE: ...the wife - 2/21/2008 4:11:35 PM   
manda_24

 

Posts: 19
Joined: 12/13/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I've never heard anyone say it in a negative way so I don't think too much about it when I hear it. It's something that I heard growing up and it was always in a joking manner, for example a couple of guys are talking about doing something and the one says sounds good but I've got to check with the wife, or when a salesman is trying to sell you something I've heard my dad say something about checking with the wife, he doesn't mean anything bad about it it's just a figure of speech, actually it is sometimes used as an excuse, he really didn't just wanted to get the salesman off his back. That's my two cents at least, it doesn't bother me.
Post #: 47
RE: ...the wife - 2/27/2008 1:48:59 PM   
BrowneyedAL


Posts: 558
Joined: 2/26/2008
From: North Alabama
Status: offline 		I don't get offended per se...but I do think it's a less than flattering way to refer to someone and we should show our spouses honor.
Post #: 48
RE: ...the wife - 3/1/2008 6:21:05 PM   
lexie


Posts: 3182
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		The are certain people that Dh will refer to me as "the wife" with. There were a few people in his life who hadn't met me until we got married, but knew of me and knew my name so he would introduce me by saying "this is the wife." I get a kick out of it, I know there is no harm in his intentions. Like Kylie mentioned, it's also a cultural thing so I don't take offense to it.

Besides it's really just his way of shortening "this is the wife that I am always thinking about and talking about."
Post #: 49
RE: ...the wife - 3/4/2008 3:41:06 PM   
violetlight


Posts: 383
Joined: 3/15/2007
From: sunny california =)
Status: offline 		I don't care..honestly isn't there more important things to worry about? As long as it's affectionate and not said in a condescending way what does it matter? And the same applies to "the husband"

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