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L5FanLady -> RE: ~~L5FanLady's SG Lounge~~ (2/25/2008 10:26:38 PM)
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Since this is my own thread, and I can say what is on my mind, I think I will. Ooh boy....where to start? All my life I have never been a very outgoing or social person. I enjoyed hiding myself away and spending hours alone entertaining myself. Unfortunately, the social skills that were needed to be friendly and make friends just never got developed in my childhood and teen years. Somehow, somewhere in that last year, things have PROFOUNDLY started changing in my life. I can't find words to describe it right, just it might be safe to say that God must be working big-time on me! It all started when Roger Bennett passed away. It seemed that, at the very moment I learned the news, part of my heart was literally ripped right out of my chest! Strangely enough, it was the same wieght that I had felt in my heart for the last three years, and I remember once having prayed that God would remove it because it was affecting my attitude for the worse (did I not say that I would have trouble finding the right words? it's the best way I can describe what happened though...). But how Roger and that unwelcome weight in my heart had anything in common is puzzling to me! That started the "Change" for me. Then, back in October, things started to fester concerning my attitude. I was angry and upset seemingly for no purpose; everything annoyed me. This went on till about December, when, like a zit, it burst, and I was left with a peace that I had never felt in my life. I have in the last year gone thru such a transformation from within it amazes me! Whether it is visible to any one else, I don't know, but I am a changed woman! Recently, I have been pondering this unsociableness of mine, and realized that if I don't start reaping friendship, I am gonna be a lonely woman. You reap what you sow, you know, and I want to sow well so that I might reap well. I have asked God to help me be more friendly and sociable, and I already feel His working! I may well add more later. It's late and I'm tired, so that's enough for now. Goodnight![:)]
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