RE: The Meet Market (Full Version)

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skreyola -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 5:23:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elena1030
One thing I paid close attention to was the answer to "What was the last book you read?"
If the answer was "I don't read much, except for the Bible," I closed the match.
If the answer was "I don't like to read," I closed the match.
If there was a book title but no comments on the book, I wasn't as interested...but at least he put something other than the Bible.

That's been a pet peeve of mine for a long time among Christianity oriented meet-people type sites.
Yes, reading our Bibles is important, but it's like going to a church's Web site and seeing that their nursery's goal is "to provide a caring and nurturing environment for children from birth to X years." Okay, but all I know from that is the age range. The rest is not informative, because every church nursery should be that way.
The same with the Bible. It's a magnificent book, but another answer will tell me something about the person. The Bible as an answer doesn't tell me anything, because I don't know if the person is just saying that as the default answer so they'll look spiritual, or if they read voraciously but really like the stories in the Bible better than the stories in the novels on their bookshelf.

The same for meeting one historical figure. Yes, Jesus is a nice-sounding answer, but it's meaningless in the context of a group of Christians, both for its cliche level and for the fact that if you're a Christian, you've already met Jesus, at least in a sense.

:)

Sorry for the rant. Anyway, yeah. Good advice. One of my profs said that under interests on a resume/application, you shouldn't put skiing, boating, or the like, but rather things that are unique about you, for example, I should mention there that I've taught English in Poland, that I've been to Costa Rica, and that I've written novels.

Incidentally, I love to read. I don't have time to these days, but I listen to recorded books on my commute to school (I'm in Jane Eyre right now). [:)]



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 5:29:13 PM)

I agree, Skreyola. Those are what I call "Sunday School answers" and, in my mind at least, should give one pause. They're telling me what they think I want to hear because I'm a Christian looking for a Christian. Or else there is that little depth and interest to them that it's the only answer they could think up. Or, I shudder at the thought, that's the only book they know the title of![sm=icon_smile_boggled.gif]



skreyola -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 5:45:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

I agree, Skreyola. Those are what I call "Sunday School answers" and, in my mind at least, should give one pause. They're telling me what they think I want to hear because I'm a Christian looking for a Christian. Or else there is that little depth and interest to them that it's the only answer they could think up. Or, I shudder at the thought, that's the only book they know the title of![sm=icon_smile_boggled.gif]

Yeah. Some would consider me unspiritual because of this, but I'm very leery of people who read only the Bible.



derek_from_canada -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 5:47:10 PM)

Can I give pause to the intellectual well-read women out there...

If you consider outside your regular type, a guy that isn't a pulitzer prize writer may be just the kind of complimentary guy you need to sharpen you and you to sharpen him.
He may be a concrete thinker, good with his hands, a heart of gold, but juts not an expert at expressing things in written form... but if he was your partner he might build you the most romantic present your heart has ever seen. He would have a different love language.

And you missed all that cuz he forgot to describe the books he reads? Maybe he only reads the Home Depot catalog? =)

So be careful. =)



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 5:48:30 PM)

There was one guy on eHarmony that had me and my girlfriend rolling, we were laughing so hard. He said he was looking for a good Christian woman, one he could keep barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen all day while he went out and clubbed to death something to eat. I'm not doing him justice at all but it was so funny! I definitely communicated with him, and while he wasn't someone I wanted to date, we had a blast talking...we both kept each other laughing the whole time.

For me a sense of humour is a definite must. If you can portray that on a dating site, then you're doing pretty good. [:D]



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 5:51:15 PM)

Point taken, Derek.[&o]

But I'd still sooner see someone say they read magazines (and which ones) than list only the Bible. And, personally, I think online services automatically put non-expressive men at a disadvantage. And I'm not sure what the answer to that is.



Prairiehiker -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 7:24:32 PM)

Can someone critique my profile? Is it against forum policy to ask for a critique? I'll remove the link if it is.



trainfan -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 8:22:00 PM)

I just heard a stat that 30% of people on internet dating sites are already married. [&:]



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 8:26:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trainfan

I just heard a stat that 30% of people on internet dating sites are already married. [&:]


What??? [sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif]

Well, I have seen some of the non-Christian sites, and this wouldn't surprise me. It's a little higher than I suspected, though.



trainfan -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 8:30:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cute-N-Sassy

quote:

ORIGINAL: trainfan

I just heard a stat that 30% of people on internet dating sites are already married. [&:]


What??? [sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif]

Well, I have seen some of the non-Christian sites, and this wouldn't surprise me. It's a little higher than I suspected, though.


Sometimes it pays to have John Tesh on in the store.



ShallbeRebuilt -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 8:32:48 PM)

Prairie;

That's likely to get taken out...we're not supposed to put up our personal ads.

I did go look at it, though. To me, it gave a little of your personal flair, but could probably benefit from more. Just because the questions are prosaic doesn't mean that your answers have to be.

I think the answer to question 8 was your best. Even though you really are a unique and cool person, the rest of the answers sound very typical. I'm sure they are true, but there may be a more interesting way to put them.

Let's take it one chunk at a time. The question with the most potential, imho, is Question 4. Your answer is certainly theologically correct, but it falls into that "Sunday School" answer category. But if you were to say something about your favorite Bible verse, or if you don't have a favorite, one that helped you through a hard time, now that would be more interesting. Or perhaps you have an interesting salvation story--try writing that up. How have you arrived at where you are in Christ today? Is there something unique about that? I'd rather hear that than a reciting of the Apostle's creed.

What about question 5? I don't know, but it doesn't seem like you're very excited about your job. Is there something you ARE excited about? Is it part of your job? What about your job do you love? What do you hate? Are you planning to work for the gov't forever? What else would you like to do?

I think if you make the answers to those questions more interesting, you might experience more success.

Anyone else have thoughts?

besiderself



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 8:35:27 PM)

I agree entirely. It was a little cookie cutter and I know that you (Prairiehiker) are far more interesting than that. What are the things that make you unique? THAT'S what you want to put on there.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 8:40:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

Can someone critique my profile? Is it against forum policy to ask for a critique? I'll remove the link if it is.

edited out personal ad link - Lisa

Oh you're beautiful. *gushing*

Okay...I will agree the answers did seem a bit...typical but with a snippet here and tweak there it will shine like a star.

You seem so fun, outdoorsy, and full of passion. Show those men how awesome of a catch you can be while expressing what you are looking for as well.

Hmmm...I'm not too helpful am I? LOL

Also, I don't see how this is against the rules...you aren't trying to date someone HERE, you're merely asking for advice. There is a difference, right?



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 8:44:26 PM)

quote:

Also, I don't see how this is against the rules...you aren't trying to date someone HERE, you're merely asking for advice. There is a difference, right?

Well, we could all link to profiles and say we were asking for advice and if they allowed that, they may as well allow us to post personal ads.

I don't have any problem with this (Prairiehiker's) scenario, I'm just saying how it's probably looked at higher up.



Prairiehiker -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 9:16:23 PM)

Thanks guys. You've been a big help. I deleted the link. I used to post a profile in an online dating site that was non christian, and I seemed to have more spontaneity in profile writing back then. I seem to be more serious when posting to a christian site.

I guess, when it comes to answering the question about faith, I've looked at so many answers that men gave, and they were so vague that I ignored them. Anyone can claim that they are christians, but if they can't summarize the basic doctrine, I usually just ignore them. Remember, for most people, they think they are christians because they go to church. I really don't want to meet those type of men.

I guess I can tweak it and show my adventurous side, but I don't want to compromise my core belief and values because those are the really really important things I'm looking for. Of course, the guy also has to show his adventurous side. I'm thinking that if I show the serious side in the basic character questions, then show the fun side in the "activity/personality" questions, then it would provide a good balance. I changed it a bit. Thanks for all the critique.

By the way, the pic is going against me. I look so young that most men probably think I posted an old picture when that pic was taken just last week.



mutinywxgirl -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 9:19:35 PM)

The agreement for this thread was that we cannot post ads - as is stated at the top of the forum.

I took out the link in the quoted post.

Thanks for abiding by this, everyone!



shemaromans -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 9:30:43 PM)

quote:

By the way, the pic is going against me. I look so young that most men probably think I posted an old picture when that pic was taken just last week.

LOL! You're probably right!

My dad always said that men don't ask me out because they think I'm 16. On my birthday last year, he altered the date to 18. [:)]



mutinywxgirl -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 9:32:20 PM)

Trust me, as you are nearing 50 and people take you in your early 30's, you're going to LOVE looking younger!!!!!



ladioffaith -> RE: The Meet Market (2/21/2008 10:45:48 PM)

I used to be on E-Harmony. Paid my $50 and was in "open communication" with 3 men at one time. One got in a relationship, one dumped me after we decided we weren't a good match, and "shallow man" was all eager to meet in person and call me on the phone ... until I posted a pic.

They closed my account after they stopped sending me matches.

I've been on retationships.com (now Christian Mingle) for about 2 years and have gotten a whopping 2 dates out of it.

Overall ... I am not too impressed with the online dating realm. I believe strongly in LOCAL SINGLES yet am surprised by the number of out of state people who drop me a line. I tend to respond in kind until they loose interest. Also leave a "trail of breadcrumbs" to a junk e-mail account, which they could follow if they are clever enough.

About the book thing ... I a a professional writer. Yet I am so busy reading for work, reading stuff online, reading catalogs and cookbooks and e-mails that I RARELY have time to read for pleasure and honestly cannot tell you when I did so. The last book I remember reading for fun is not one I'd admit reading to a lot of Christians I've never met because I don't want to start a debate with somebody who doesn't know me about whether a "real Christian" would read that book (even to see the Biblical refrences.)



.Pammy -> RE: The Meet Market (2/22/2008 7:29:05 AM)

besiderself, did you get my PM?



John_O -> RE: The Meet Market (2/22/2008 2:47:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladioffaith

The last book I remember reading for fun is not one I'd admit reading to a lot of Christians I've never met because I don't want to start a debate with somebody who doesn't know me about whether a "real Christian" would read that book (even to see the Biblical refrences.)


Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Cup? Harry Potty and the Golden Toilet?

Come on, you can't dangle such a lead-in before us and not tell us which it was....



Elena1030 -> RE: The Meet Market (2/22/2008 5:11:25 PM)

I get your point, Derek; but for me, I slightly disagree with you. Check your PM box for my explanation.



skreyola,

Exactamundo!

Good on ya for reading Jane Eyre!



Prairiehiker -> RE: The Meet Market (2/22/2008 7:04:29 PM)

Question. Do you respond to everyone who contacts you, even if it's just to acknowledge and thank them? I joined Christian Cafe last night and received a few emails this morning but I have interest in corresponding with them. Do I just delete them? Is that rude? As a christian, how should we respond? I'm leaning towards saying thank you but no thank you.



shemaromans -> RE: The Meet Market (2/22/2008 7:51:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

Question. Do you respond to everyone who contacts you, even if it's just to acknowledge and thank them? I joined Christian Cafe last night and received a few emails this morning but I have interest in corresponding with them. Do I just delete them? Is that rude? As a christian, how should we respond? I'm leaning towards saying thank you but no thank you.

I haven't subscribed to any sites, but I would recommend that you respond the way that you're leaning. Those men reached out boldly, and it seems like a common courtesy/kindness to at least acknowledge their effort.



ShallbeRebuilt -> RE: The Meet Market (2/22/2008 7:53:37 PM)

Prairie;

That's a good question. I don't know. The one email I got from ChristianCafe was worded in such a way as to make me suspect the fellow was not really genuine, so I just deleted it. On eHarmony, at least they give you a way to put a match on hold or close communication with several options for why.

Now I have another question: perhaps this is somewhat more of a "relationships" question, I don't know. Since I have children, I have chosen not to respond to guys who have no children. That's partly because of my friend that I mentioned that had a bad experience with such a thing...after all, if they have never had children, and my family is all about children, even though they are almost grown, it really might be a deal breaker.

What do you think? Guys, especially, I'd like to know: should I keep my options open and communicate with guys that have no children?

besiderself



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