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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 5:23:01 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 1382
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: Mars
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
One thing I paid close attention to was the answer to "What was the last book you read?"
If the answer was "I don't read much, except for the Bible," I closed the match.
If the answer was "I don't like to read," I closed the match.
If there was a book title but no comments on the book, I wasn't as interested...but at least he put something other than the Bible.
That's been a pet peeve of mine for a long time among Christianity oriented meet-people type sites.
Yes, reading our Bibles is important, but it's like going to a church's Web site and seeing that their nursery's goal is "to provide a caring and nurturing environment for children from birth to X years." Okay, but all I know from that is the age range. The rest is not informative, because every church nursery should be that way.
The same with the Bible. It's a magnificent book, but another answer will tell me something about the person. The Bible as an answer doesn't tell me anything, because I don't know if the person is just saying that as the default answer so they'll look spiritual, or if they read voraciously but really like the stories in the Bible better than the stories in the novels on their bookshelf.
The same for meeting one historical figure. Yes, Jesus is a nice-sounding answer, but it's meaningless in the context of a group of Christians, both for its cliche level and for the fact that if you're a Christian, you've already met Jesus, at least in a sense.
:)
Sorry for the rant. Anyway, yeah. Good advice. One of my profs said that under interests on a resume/application, you shouldn't put skiing, boating, or the like, but rather things that are unique about you, for example, I should mention there that I've taught English in Poland, that I've been to Costa Rica, and that I've written novels.
Incidentally, I love to read. I don't have time to these days, but I listen to recorded books on my commute to school (I'm in Jane Eyre right now). 
_____________________________
-- Skreyola
http://skreyola.livejournal.com/
Linux is a multiuser, modular, peer-reviewed, free operating system. Because of this, it tends to be stable, secure, and reliable.
I run Debian (http://www.debian.org/), and you can, too.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 5:45:39 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 1382
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: Mars
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
I agree, Skreyola. Those are what I call "Sunday School answers" and, in my mind at least, should give one pause. They're telling me what they think I want to hear because I'm a Christian looking for a Christian. Or else there is that little depth and interest to them that it's the only answer they could think up. Or, I shudder at the thought, that's the only book they know the title of! 
Yeah. Some would consider me unspiritual because of this, but I'm very leery of people who read only the Bible.
_____________________________
-- Skreyola
http://skreyola.livejournal.com/
Linux is a multiuser, modular, peer-reviewed, free operating system. Because of this, it tends to be stable, secure, and reliable.
I run Debian (http://www.debian.org/), and you can, too.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 5:47:10 PM
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derek_from_canada
Posts: 455
Joined: 7/28/2007
Status: offline
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Can I give pause to the intellectual well-read women out there...
If you consider outside your regular type, a guy that isn't a pulitzer prize writer may be just the kind of complimentary guy you need to sharpen you and you to sharpen him.
He may be a concrete thinker, good with his hands, a heart of gold, but juts not an expert at expressing things in written form... but if he was your partner he might build you the most romantic present your heart has ever seen. He would have a different love language.
And you missed all that cuz he forgot to describe the books he reads? Maybe he only reads the Home Depot catalog? =)
So be careful. =)
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 7:24:32 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 767
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: online
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Can someone critique my profile? Is it against forum policy to ask for a critique? I'll remove the link if it is.
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 2/21/2008 9:13:57 PM >
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 8:32:48 PM
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besiderself
Posts: 1222
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: online
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Prairie;
That's likely to get taken out...we're not supposed to put up our personal ads.
I did go look at it, though. To me, it gave a little of your personal flair, but could probably benefit from more. Just because the questions are prosaic doesn't mean that your answers have to be.
I think the answer to question 8 was your best. Even though you really are a unique and cool person, the rest of the answers sound very typical. I'm sure they are true, but there may be a more interesting way to put them.
Let's take it one chunk at a time. The question with the most potential, imho, is Question 4. Your answer is certainly theologically correct, but it falls into that "Sunday School" answer category. But if you were to say something about your favorite Bible verse, or if you don't have a favorite, one that helped you through a hard time, now that would be more interesting. Or perhaps you have an interesting salvation story--try writing that up. How have you arrived at where you are in Christ today? Is there something unique about that? I'd rather hear that than a reciting of the Apostle's creed.
What about question 5? I don't know, but it doesn't seem like you're very excited about your job. Is there something you ARE excited about? Is it part of your job? What about your job do you love? What do you hate? Are you planning to work for the gov't forever? What else would you like to do?
I think if you make the answers to those questions more interesting, you might experience more success.
Anyone else have thoughts?
besiderself
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 8:35:27 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 7009
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: online
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I agree entirely. It was a little cookie cutter and I know that you (Prairiehiker) are far more interesting than that. What are the things that make you unique? THAT'S what you want to put on there.
_____________________________
When I have a little money I buy Books.
If any left over I buy food and clothes.
Erasmus
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 8:40:26 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 4882
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Can someone critique my profile? Is it against forum policy to ask for a critique? I'll remove the link if it is.
edited out personal ad link - Lisa
Oh you're beautiful. *gushing*
Okay...I will agree the answers did seem a bit...typical but with a snippet here and tweak there it will shine like a star.
You seem so fun, outdoorsy, and full of passion. Show those men how awesome of a catch you can be while expressing what you are looking for as well.
Hmmm...I'm not too helpful am I? LOL
Also, I don't see how this is against the rules...you aren't trying to date someone HERE, you're merely asking for advice. There is a difference, right?
< Message edited by mutinywxgirl -- 2/21/2008 9:22:12 PM >
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 8:44:26 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 7009
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: online
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quote:
Also, I don't see how this is against the rules...you aren't trying to date someone HERE, you're merely asking for advice. There is a difference, right?
Well, we could all link to profiles and say we were asking for advice and if they allowed that, they may as well allow us to post personal ads.
I don't have any problem with this (Prairiehiker's) scenario, I'm just saying how it's probably looked at higher up.
_____________________________
When I have a little money I buy Books.
If any left over I buy food and clothes.
Erasmus
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 9:16:23 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 767
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: online
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Thanks guys. You've been a big help. I deleted the link. I used to post a profile in an online dating site that was non christian, and I seemed to have more spontaneity in profile writing back then. I seem to be more serious when posting to a christian site.
I guess, when it comes to answering the question about faith, I've looked at so many answers that men gave, and they were so vague that I ignored them. Anyone can claim that they are christians, but if they can't summarize the basic doctrine, I usually just ignore them. Remember, for most people, they think they are christians because they go to church. I really don't want to meet those type of men.
I guess I can tweak it and show my adventurous side, but I don't want to compromise my core belief and values because those are the really really important things I'm looking for. Of course, the guy also has to show his adventurous side. I'm thinking that if I show the serious side in the basic character questions, then show the fun side in the "activity/personality" questions, then it would provide a good balance. I changed it a bit. Thanks for all the critique.
By the way, the pic is going against me. I look so young that most men probably think I posted an old picture when that pic was taken just last week.
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 2/21/2008 9:54:18 PM >
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 9:19:35 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12986
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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The agreement for this thread was that we cannot post ads - as is stated at the top of the forum.
I took out the link in the quoted post.
Thanks for abiding by this, everyone!
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 9:30:43 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3803
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: online
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quote:
By the way, the pic is going against me. I look so young that most men probably think I posted an old picture when that pic was taken just last week.
LOL! You're probably right!
My dad always said that men don't ask me out because they think I'm 16. On my birthday last year, he altered the date to 18.
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 9:32:20 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12986
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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Trust me, as you are nearing 50 and people take you in your early 30's, you're going to LOVE looking younger!!!!!
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/21/2008 10:45:48 PM
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ladioffaith
Posts: 2838
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: NE Ohio (L.A. . . Lower Akron)
Status: online
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I used to be on E-Harmony. Paid my $50 and was in "open communication" with 3 men at one time. One got in a relationship, one dumped me after we decided we weren't a good match, and "shallow man" was all eager to meet in person and call me on the phone ... until I posted a pic.
They closed my account after they stopped sending me matches.
I've been on retationships.com (now Christian Mingle) for about 2 years and have gotten a whopping 2 dates out of it.
Overall ... I am not too impressed with the online dating realm. I believe strongly in LOCAL SINGLES yet am surprised by the number of out of state people who drop me a line. I tend to respond in kind until they loose interest. Also leave a "trail of breadcrumbs" to a junk e-mail account, which they could follow if they are clever enough.
About the book thing ... I a a professional writer. Yet I am so busy reading for work, reading stuff online, reading catalogs and cookbooks and e-mails that I RARELY have time to read for pleasure and honestly cannot tell you when I did so. The last book I remember reading for fun is not one I'd admit reading to a lot of Christians I've never met because I don't want to start a debate with somebody who doesn't know me about whether a "real Christian" would read that book (even to see the Biblical refrences.)
_____________________________
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with
his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/22/2008 7:29:05 AM
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.Pammy
Posts: 3992
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Mechanicsburg, PA, USA
Status: offline
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besiderself, did you get my PM?
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Pam
<< my mother
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/22/2008 2:47:51 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6942
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ladioffaith
The last book I remember reading for fun is not one I'd admit reading to a lot of Christians I've never met because I don't want to start a debate with somebody who doesn't know me about whether a "real Christian" would read that book (even to see the Biblical refrences.)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Cup? Harry Potty and the Golden Toilet?
Come on, you can't dangle such a lead-in before us and not tell us which it was....
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/22/2008 5:11:25 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 848
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
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I get your point, Derek; but for me, I slightly disagree with you. Check your PM box for my explanation.
skreyola,
Exactamundo!
Good on ya for reading Jane Eyre!
< Message edited by Elena1030 -- 2/22/2008 5:20:50 PM >
_____________________________
"We're not odd, we're just over-expressive."—Helen in Howard's End
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/22/2008 7:04:29 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 767
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: online
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Question. Do you respond to everyone who contacts you, even if it's just to acknowledge and thank them? I joined Christian Cafe last night and received a few emails this morning but I have interest in corresponding with them. Do I just delete them? Is that rude? As a christian, how should we respond? I'm leaning towards saying thank you but no thank you.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/22/2008 7:51:13 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3803
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Question. Do you respond to everyone who contacts you, even if it's just to acknowledge and thank them? I joined Christian Cafe last night and received a few emails this morning but I have interest in corresponding with them. Do I just delete them? Is that rude? As a christian, how should we respond? I'm leaning towards saying thank you but no thank you.
I haven't subscribed to any sites, but I would recommend that you respond the way that you're leaning. Those men reached out boldly, and it seems like a common courtesy/kindness to at least acknowledge their effort.
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/22/2008 7:53:37 PM
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besiderself
Posts: 1222
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: online
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Prairie;
That's a good question. I don't know. The one email I got from ChristianCafe was worded in such a way as to make me suspect the fellow was not really genuine, so I just deleted it. On eHarmony, at least they give you a way to put a match on hold or close communication with several options for why.
Now I have another question: perhaps this is somewhat more of a "relationships" question, I don't know. Since I have children, I have chosen not to respond to guys who have no children. That's partly because of my friend that I mentioned that had a bad experience with such a thing...after all, if they have never had children, and my family is all about children, even though they are almost grown, it really might be a deal breaker.
What do you think? Guys, especially, I'd like to know: should I keep my options open and communicate with guys that have no children?
besiderself
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