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RE: The Meet Market - 2/22/2008 8:04:53 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 839
Joined: 12/11/2007
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I guess it's just common courtesy to acknowledge them then let them go. I deleted the few that I received.
I think when you're doing any type of dating, whether online or not, you have to know what your deal breakers are. For me to even remain interested, they'd have to live close in my city, within a certain age range, relatively good looking, and suggest a strong faith in Christ. If they don't meet those qualifications, I don't want to waste their time...and mine.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/22/2008 11:35:44 PM
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ladioffaith
Posts: 2843
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: NE Ohio (L.A. . . Lower Akron)
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Johnnno ... let's leave the book debate in the books folder!
All I have to say is that when there are arguments like these ... I just keep my mouth shut!
_____________________________
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with
his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/23/2008 10:00:46 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6950
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Question. Do you respond to everyone who contacts you, even if it's just to acknowledge and thank them? I joined Christian Cafe last night and received a few emails this morning but I have interest in corresponding with them. Do I just delete them? Is that rude? As a christian, how should we respond? I'm leaning towards saying thank you but no thank you.
I respond to everyone who contacts me. (as few as that may be) Most do not meet a requirement clearly laid out in my profile (You'd be amazed at how many women who don't want to have anymore children will contact a guy who says "Having more biological children is very important to me"
So I very gently tell them we are incompatible and why (but I try to use small words since they must have a reading comprhension problem to miss that  )
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/23/2008 10:01:04 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 1433
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: Mars
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
Since I have children, I have chosen not to respond to guys who have no children. That's partly because of my friend that I mentioned that had a bad experience with such a thing...after all, if they have never had children, and my family is all about children, even though they are almost grown, it really might be a deal breaker.
What do you think? Guys, especially, I'd like to know: should I keep my options open and communicate with guys that have no children?
besiderself
I think you should communicate with them, but don't have high hopes. A lot of guys who don't have children are going to feel it is a deal-breaker, but other guys are not, and they'll be happy to love your children as their own. You'll never know which is which unless you give them the chance to say yes to your family. But if you're okay with not having the chance of meeting a guy who is cool with your having children, then that's fine, too, as you won't have to deal with the guys for whom it's a deal-breaker.
@ John_O: hehehe
_____________________________
-- Skreyola
http://skreyola.livejournal.com/
Linux is a multiuser, modular, peer-reviewed, free operating system. Because of this, it tends to be stable, secure, and reliable.
I run Debian (http://www.debian.org/), and you can, too.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/23/2008 10:03:45 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6950
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
What do you think? Guys, especially, I'd like to know: should I keep my options open and communicate with guys that have no children?
There are guys out there who have no children of their own soley due to teh fact that they've never met the right women. Many of these guys would be great fathers given the chance.
The problem is that there are also guys out there who are predators and will try to get to your kids through you.
So it's ok to talk to guys with no kids but it's highly recommended that you check them out very closely before letting them get to know the kids. Of course some guys may get offended at this level of scrutiny but an offended guy (or 100 offended guys) is better than one hurt child.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/23/2008 10:20:34 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3854
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: skreyola
@ John_O: hehehe
Ditto!
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/23/2008 10:43:02 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1467
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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quote:
ORIGINAL: skreyola
quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
One thing I paid close attention to was the answer to "What was the last book you read?"
If the answer was "I don't read much, except for the Bible," I closed the match.
If the answer was "I don't like to read," I closed the match.
If there was a book title but no comments on the book, I wasn't as interested...but at least he put something other than the Bible.
That's been a pet peeve of mine for a long time among Christianity oriented meet-people type sites.
Yes, reading our Bibles is important, but it's like going to a church's Web site and seeing that their nursery's goal is "to provide a caring and nurturing environment for children from birth to X years." Okay, but all I know from that is the age range. The rest is not informative, because every church nursery should be that way.
The same with the Bible. It's a magnificent book, but another answer will tell me something about the person. The Bible as an answer doesn't tell me anything, because I don't know if the person is just saying that as the default answer so they'll look spiritual, or if they read voraciously but really like the stories in the Bible better than the stories in the novels on their bookshelf.
The same for meeting one historical figure. Yes, Jesus is a nice-sounding answer, but it's meaningless in the context of a group of Christians, both for its cliche level and for the fact that if you're a Christian, you've already met Jesus, at least in a sense.
:)
Sorry for the rant. Anyway, yeah. Good advice. One of my profs said that under interests on a resume/application, you shouldn't put skiing, boating, or the like, but rather things that are unique about you, for example, I should mention there that I've taught English in Poland, that I've been to Costa Rica, and that I've written novels.
Incidentally, I love to read. I don't have time to these days, but I listen to recorded books on my commute to school (I'm in Jane Eyre right now). 
Being a Christian is much more than attending "church" or "in name only." And this is what people need to realize.
When you are looking for a mate, you are looking for someone is in the faith, who is living it out and is involved in a local church body. I believe this is important. You have to watch his/her's life and if this person is living a life of a servant.
People should be looking first and foremost for that charataristic. I'm not saying that everyone is perfect, and I realize that everyone is on a different growth level in their christian walk, but we should be looking for people who are going to be potential leaders in our home, who you can pray with, rasing children up to the lord (if God's wills it) and people who are willing to lay down their life for their mates.
All the other stuff should fall into place as well.
_____________________________
Come visit me at http://www.myspace.com/Gaylel121
or http://www.gayleplace.blogspot.com....
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/25/2008 3:46:03 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 826
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
quote:
ORIGINAL: skreyola
quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
One thing I paid close attention to was the answer to "What was the last book you read?"
If the answer was "I don't read much, except for the Bible," I closed the match.
If the answer was "I don't like to read," I closed the match.
If there was a book title but no comments on the book, I wasn't as interested...but at least he put something other than the Bible.
That's been a pet peeve of mine for a long time among Christianity oriented meet-people type sites.
Yes, reading our Bibles is important, but it's like going to a church's Web site and seeing that their nursery's goal is "to provide a caring and nurturing environment for children from birth to X years." Okay, but all I know from that is the age range. The rest is not informative, because every church nursery should be that way.
The same with the Bible. It's a magnificent book, but another answer will tell me something about the person. The Bible as an answer doesn't tell me anything, because I don't know if the person is just saying that as the default answer so they'll look spiritual, or if they read voraciously but really like the stories in the Bible better than the stories in the novels on their bookshelf.
The same for meeting one historical figure. Yes, Jesus is a nice-sounding answer, but it's meaningless in the context of a group of Christians, both for its cliche level and for the fact that if you're a Christian, you've already met Jesus, at least in a sense.
:)
Sorry for the rant. Anyway, yeah. Good advice. One of my profs said that under interests on a resume/application, you shouldn't put skiing, boating, or the like, but rather things that are unique about you, for example, I should mention there that I've taught English in Poland, that I've been to Costa Rica, and that I've written novels.
Incidentally, I love to read. I don't have time to these days, but I listen to recorded books on my commute to school (I'm in Jane Eyre right now).
Being a Christian is much more than attending "church" or "in name only." And this is what people need to realize.
When you are looking for a mate, you are looking for someone is in the faith, who is living it out and is involved in a local church body. I believe this is important. You have to watch his/her's life and if this person is living a life of a servant.
People should be looking first and foremost for that charataristic. I'm not saying that everyone is perfect, and I realize that everyone is on a different growth level in their christian walk, but we should be looking for people who are going to be potential leaders in our home, who you can pray with, rasing children up to the lord (if God's wills it) and people who are willing to lay down their life for their mates.
All the other stuff should fall into place as well.
This (the part in bold) is probably THE most important thing to do.... given that one is evaluating a fellow Christian..... wherever you see the person: observe patterns of speech and actions; those will reflect what is going on in a person: the values, attitudes, beliefs, goals, and vision.
You should be able to detect the heart of a servant.... perhaps not a perfect servant... but one who is growing in that direction.
A dear friend of mine is evidencing this. He DOES more than he talks about it. He's going to make a wonderful husband and father some day.
What might be harder to detect is how strong a Christian a new acquaintance is. I've asked to be introduced to Christian single men that a married couple (friends of mine) knows through the husband's work. I now virtually nothing about these men. I figure an introduction cannot hurt. It's not a marriage proposal!
But sure as the 'morrow isn't promised to us, I am keeping my radar up to spot both the good things and the not-so-good about these men. I will be cunning as a serpent and innocent as a lamb in this process!!!
=D
_____________________________
"We're not odd, we're just over-expressive."—Helen in Howard's End
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/26/2008 9:33:09 PM
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besiderself
Posts: 1292
Joined: 11/8/2007
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Ok...so new story. On another thread (I can't remember which one) I was advised by several people to let my professors know that I am interested in someday remarrying--just in case they knew anybody who might be eligible. I prayed about it and decided that if God opened the door I would let this be known.
A few weeks later the Dean of the Music department comes up to me and says "If there's ever anything I can do for you, let me know, ok?"
That looked like an open door to me, so I sent him an email, stating that usually people were surprised to find that I am interested in remarrying, and that if the Lord put someone in his path that might be single and of the right age, etc., he could do me the favor of introducing us.
He emailed back that in fact, he did know a fellow. Through the Dean we are now exchanging pics and email addresses.
We'll see how this goes, eh? Ya'll PRAY that he's a nice guy...if it doesn't turn out to be a romance, that's ok--I just don't want to have to deal with another manipulator or pervert.
besiderself
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/26/2008 9:36:52 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 13077
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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Very exciting!!!!! What a pleasant birthday present, huh???
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/26/2008 9:41:39 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 13077
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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Hey, you're doing it - and that's what's important! You're giving the rest of us hope.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/26/2008 9:50:01 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3136
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: The Hundred Acre Wood
Status: online
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That is so great Besiderself!
_____________________________
Nadine
"It's like every thing good collided today" quote from my 8yr old daughter
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/27/2008 6:50:24 AM
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.Pammy
Posts: 4018
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Mechanicsburg, PA, USA
Status: offline
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Esther - yay! Don't second guess yourself. You're not marrying the guy, for heaven's sake! You're just dipping your toe in the water. Go, girl!
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Pam
<< my mother
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/27/2008 1:20:38 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6950
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
Yeah. Interesting--in some ways I'm a little leary of it: after all, I don't fit most guys' idea of "fit" or "attractive", though my children and many other people say that I am. So I fear that the pics will be an instant turn off and he won't follow up.
Don't pre-judge him. Your family and friends say you look good, trust them. Besides, you may be absolutely perfect for this guy (every woman is attractive to some man) just the way you are.
Let me take this opportunity to say that if a lady is losing weight just to impress a guy she's doing it for the wrong reason. Get in shape for yourself. Not for him. (KWIM?)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/27/2008 2:07:42 PM
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900MHZ
Posts: 313
Joined: 6/7/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LabGuy
quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
I have never registered for any online dating service. I will read the comments eagerly.
Same here. My brother and sister-in-law keep urging me to (specifically eHarmony) but it doesn't feel right. Yet. Would be a subject of much prayer before/if I would.
-Robb
Why would you pray about a decision like that? Just like NIKE "Just do it!!"
< Message edited by 900MHZ -- 2/27/2008 8:24:42 PM >
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/27/2008 2:39:38 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2632
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
Status: offline
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quote:
Why would you pray about a decision like that?
Why wouldn't you?
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Buy local, support local retailers.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/27/2008 8:20:55 PM
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900MHZ
Posts: 313
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
Why would you pray about a decision like that?
Why wouldn't you?
Because it's not a critical decision actually. That's like praying wether or not you should go grocery shopping at the Publix or the Winn-Dixie.
"God, should I use paper or plastic?"
I pray for more situations of where someone is sick or dying, the poor, someone in a crisis.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/27/2008 10:03:23 PM
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besiderself
Posts: 1292
Joined: 11/8/2007
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I'm going to chime in on this one on the side of Robb. I think it has to be a considered decision to join an online dating site. For one thing scripture says we're to acknowledge Him in everything we do. Ok, so praying is a way to acknowledge His leading. Another reason to pray about such a decision is to make sure it's time for YOU specifically in the Lord to make yourself available for potential romantic relationships. I can think of several other reasons to pray about it.
I will say this, though: Robb, please go and read that one article I posted the link to on this thread. It really helped me to see that joining an online dating service is certainly important, but it's not the huge thing I thought it to be, either. We also have to trust God's sovereignty--and sometimes that means we take the risk to do something, knowing that God will work it all out.
besiderself
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/27/2008 10:21:01 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3854
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 900MHZ
quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
Why would you pray about a decision like that?
Why wouldn't you?
Because it's not a critical decision actually. That's like praying wether or not you should go grocery shopping at the Publix or the Winn-Dixie.
"God, should I use paper or plastic?"
I pray for more situations of where someone is sick or dying, the poor, someone in a crisis.
IMO, the practice of praying primarily serves to help us remain focused on God (not ourselves) and to open ourselves up to be in tune to His leading. He wants us to ask him to direct our steps. Why do you think that prayer in the morning has such an awesome effect on how so many respond to daily challenges?
God doesn't want us to impulsively bound into situations without inquiring of Him first. He wants us to act boldly, sure, but not heedlessly or without consideration of His will.
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/28/2008 10:00:25 AM
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trainfan
Posts: 2632
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 900MHZ
quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
Why would you pray about a decision like that?
Why wouldn't you?
Because it's not a critical decision actually. That's like praying wether or not you should go grocery shopping at the Publix or the Winn-Dixie.
"God, should I use paper or plastic?"
I pray for more situations of where someone is sick or dying, the poor, someone in a crisis.
It is actually a more critical decision than choosing grocery store or paper or plastic bags.
The decision has far more potential future implications, on not only your life but the lives of those you come into contact with on the site, than choosing a grocery store.
I'll also ditto both Besiderself and Shema as they have worded their answers much better then I ever could.
_____________________________
Buy local, support local retailers.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/28/2008 10:38:13 AM
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Cute-N-Sassy
Posts: 6229
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
IMO, the practice of praying primarily serves to help us remain focused on God (not ourselves) and to open ourselves up to be in tune to His leading. He wants us to ask him to direct our steps.
This is exactly what we were studying in school last week. It's so important to pray through the small decisions; from personal experience, when we pray about the small things, the big things take care of themselves. I've been known to pray about what I will wear for the day. God SO desires to be a part of our daily lives in intimate ways. In fact, prayerlessness is a sin. That's how much he desires our prayers.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/28/2008 11:31:23 AM
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900MHZ
Posts: 313
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline
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What concerns me is how some people rely on God a little too much (and not themselves) to make decisions. Or somehow pass the buck to God, as to say it was His decision...not theirs.
Like people breaking up with others, and saying, "God told me that this relationship is not working out". It's kind of like the Christian version of , "It's not you, it's me" routine (quoting George Costanza, lol).
Some Christians (not all) seem to use it as a crutch in life.
JOINING a dating site is not crucial at all....but if you actually start getting serious with some of hte people you meet...then that's when prayer can come in.
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RE: The Meet Market - 2/28/2008 11:56:16 AM
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trainfan
Posts: 2632
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
Status: offline
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quote:
What concerns me is how some people rely on God a little too much (and not themselves) to make decisions. Or somehow pass the buck to God, as to say it was His decision...not theirs.
Some people rely on God too much!?????
Every breath we take is a gift.
_____________________________
Buy local, support local retailers.
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