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RE: Our Testimonies - 3/3/2008 6:18:11 AM
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Annie64
Posts: 497
Joined: 6/4/2007
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I have loved reading this thread! My testimony is undramatic like Beth's, except that it took me so much longer to respond to the Gospel. Given my Christian upbringing, that's nobody's fault but my own.
I grew up with both parents in a Christian home. My dad was a minister. The most unusual thing about my family was it's size--10 kids. I am the eighth. I always loved getting reactions from people when I tell them that! 
When I was 6, my dad took a pastorate which required us to move from a very rural setting to a small town. I hadn't gone to kindergarten, so my first school experience was among complete strangers in a place larger than any I had ever known. I had never been away from my mother, and was of a very nervous temperament. I responded to school with so much fear that I wet my pants, and not just the first day: neary every day for the entire two years I attended that school. Though I did see a doctor about it, the problem was never solved, and it's devastating results on me have been lifelong and incalculable. I learned, at the same time I was learning to read and with the same proficiency (I was one of the better readers in my class), that no child in their right mind would want to be friends with me.  Even typing in now, 37 years later, I'm surprised at the emotional response it causes in me.
It became very important to me to have approval, but I despaired of getting it from my peers. Instead, I became the ultimate good girl, trying to get approval from my parents and teachers that I couldn't get from anywhere else. I also tried very hard to get approval from God.
There were a couple of times in my childhood that I prayed to receive Jesus, but I think those times, too, were more approval-seeking than anything else. I was trying to do all the right things. And in trying so hard to be good, it bothered me that people around me didn't seem to care so much about doing good. I thought I was so different from my peers I couldn't get approval from them anyway, and I began looking down on people. I became a pharisee, and when I look at the things Jesus had to say to pharisees, it's a wonder that He would have anything to do with me!
When I was 17, signs began going up in my hometown about a big city-wide crusade that was going to take place. Organizers began to recruit counselors, and several of my friends went to the training classes to do that. I wanted to--once again, a "right" thing, but somehow, I couldn't get to the classes. I do not remember the reason, but I believe to this day that my inability to get there was providential.
My family attended the crusade every night for the week it was held. On the first night, I remember the Gospel seeming more real to me than ever before, and I wondered how anyone could walk away from it. "But," I told myself, "I'm already a Christian. Look at all the Christian things I do!" At the time I was teaching Sunday School, was president of my youth group, and at my public school, I hung out with mostly Christians. I read my Bible and I tithed. I didn't do any immoral things. And I answered my own question that night by walking out without the Gospel making a difference.
Then came the second night. I don't remember any of the message until the end except that it was about being born again, but I do remember that the same realization came over me of how true the Gospel story is. And then the evangelist described a lady who had "come forward" in one of his crusades who testified that she had been active in church all her life but had never been born again. And I finally realized that he was describing me. So I did what I was supposed to do--I responded to the altar call, and was so thankful, given that some of my friends were counselors, that a stranger approached me. That was October 26, 1981.
I would have thought that my life would have gotten better after that. Now I had the Lord to help me with my need to know that I was okay. Instead, it got worse. Way, way worse. And it happened by my getting the thing I had thought I had most wanted.
In my junior high and high school years, my biggest desire was for a boyfriend. I thought that it would prove once and for all that I was an acceptable person if a boy thought I was worth taking out on a date. But I reached my senior year without having had a single date, and I took that as proof that I wasn't acceptable or worth spending time with. But shortly after that crusade, that changed. A neighbor for whom I babysat sometimes introduced me to the son of a friend of theirs, and we began dating. He also was a preacher's kid, though from a very different denomination. His denomination was very strict and legalistic, and also preached tongues, which mine didn't, and which I was very much afraid of. And somehow all the differences and questions in my mind about what was really right became such a stress on my mind that I nearly had an emotional breakdown. It was my senior year of high school, and otherwise everything was going well for me. But mentally, I wasn't okay. I was scared all the time--afraid of irredeemably losing my salvation, afraid that I was going to be left behind in the rapture, afraid that I was going to commit the unpardonable sin. This last fear was the reason I was afraid of the whole topic of tongues, and when I went to one of my boyfriend's churches, I couldn't escape the issue. Looking back, I can't explain what happened any other way than I explained it at the time--it was Satan. I lived for the next six months, until after my high school graduation and after I broke up with my boyfriend, under a cloud of fear I could see no hope of escaping. I literally wished that I would die. I wasn't quite suicidal, but only because I was afraid that if I did that I'd go to hell. But I wasn't far from it. I talked to everyone I knew looking for answers to this. But the answers they gave would only make sense as long as I was with the person I was talking to. As soon as I was by myself again, fear would take over again. I spent a huge amount of time praying and reading my Bible, searching and begging for answers. And finally, when the stresses were out of my life, the clouds began to lift. I was able to go away to college that fall, though the spring before I went it certainly looked to anybody who knew me that I was in no emotional shape to do anything like that. I still wasn't all the way over it, but Lord was already healing me. And going to a Christian college after 12 years of public school was like a breath of fresh air.
I am grateful now for that time, because during that time of fear and searching, I learned some powerful lessons that I could not have learned any other way. I learned that God has the power to keep me and I don't have to keep myself. God is big enough to hold on to me.
My second year there, I met my husband. I've always been grateful that he is a year younger than me, and so didn't come my first year, when I was still not really over the emotional thing I had just come out of and I wouldn't have been ready. As soon as we began dating, the relationship had such a different feel than the relationship I had had with my former boyfriend that I knew that this was of God. I did question that for a while, I think because I couldn't believe God would let me have anything so good!
But He did let me have something so good. And after 21 years, eight months of marriage, and three kids, it's still amazing that God has given me the desires of my heart.
_____________________________
On Christ the solid rock I stand
ALL other ground is sinking sand.
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RE: Our Testimonies - 3/4/2008 10:16:05 AM
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justjennhere
Posts: 95
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline
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These are so wonderful! I love reading about how God has worked in so many lives. Such different circumstances and situations -- same amazing Lord!
I'm new around here but would love to post my testimony. I grew up in a nominally Christian family that went to church once in a while. My parents had grown up in a very unbiblical church, felt forced into it all by their own parents, and didn't want to make the same mistake with their own children. Admirable intentions, but it led to the two of us being Biblically illiterate and so confused about truth and fiction that when I found out that there was no Santa, I thought there was no Jesus as well! I remember going to a VBS at the age of seven, hearing that I wouldn't go to Heaven unless I asked Jesus into my heart, and praying the sinner's prayer... but never being followed up on and never understanding what I had done, what God was doing in my heart.
During my freshman year of high school, I was dumped by my first serious boyfriend, and the only person who would sit with me while I cried was a wonderful Christian friend. I look back now and see how silly I was to be that upset over a very superficial relationship, but that's one of the many amazing things about God -- He will use even the concerns of a very immature fifteen year old to draw His children to Himself. Through the faithful and genuine witness of my friend, I truly accepted Christ and began to follow Him. My life quickly became focused on knowing Christ and making Him known. In the years that followed, I became involved in a church, served in a campus ministry at my university, and saw several people -- my sister included! -- come to Christ. After college, I spent two years as a youth evangelist in a small country in Africa and came back to the US to attend seminary and get my masters degree so as to be better equipped for whatever ministry the Lord had me for. During my first semester, I was part of a team that went to document an unreached people group in the mountains of Vietnam and became good friends with another student on the team. We married one another a year later  and finished our degrees the following year. We left for Japan with our eight week old daughter in 2006 and spent a year there, where my husband pastored an international church and where we had our second daughter. We're back in the US now, where my husband is pastoring a church in Oklahoma.
As a heartbroken teenager, I heard and understood clearly for the first time that Christ died for me. And I was shocked and alarmed that I had been living for fifteen long years without knowing it! It became my heart's desire to make sure that no one ever went without knowing what Christ had done for them. Just even writing out the story reminds me of what He has done in my life... and of the great purpose He has called us to as Christians!
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RE: Our Testimonies - 3/13/2008 1:48:59 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 5066
Status: offline
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I love to read other people's testimonies. However, when and/if I post mine, it will be long and most will probably find it boring. For me, it deals with a very painful time in my life so I don't like to talk about it too much.
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RE: Our Testimonies - 3/13/2008 9:21:37 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2237
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: online
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I loved hearing these!
Maybe those of you ladies who have posted your testimonies in your blogs or somewhere else, can just copy and paste or link to it?
_____________________________
-=|Christina|=-
MySpace
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House (blog)
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RE: Our Testimonies - 3/14/2008 4:42:47 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 806
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
Status: offline
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Roberta- I know that you came to know Christ out of very difficult circumstances for you, but it will not be boring!!!!! God has brought you through so much over the past couple of years!!!!
I think it is important to share with each other our testimonies. Not only to help to get to know each other better, and do see how God has worked in everybody's lives, but because it shows how awesome God is. I also like to see the many different ways that God works in people's hearts. Just as we are all each individuals, God does not tell with us in a "blanket" manner. He deals with us on an individual basis.
( I love the fact that those of you who are married have found away to include how you met your husbands in your stories. Just shows how God works in our lives both seperate and as a couple. )
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Our Testimonies - 3/23/2008 7:55:49 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 806
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
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Crying is not bad. Sometimes it can be a way to release the feelings that we won't let ourselves express in any other way. It can also be a way to show our appreciate to God for what he has done. I have a tendency to only cry when I am feeling sorry for myself - in other words I don't cry very often, but I wish that was able to cry easier. While I feel upset at my sins and what they did to Christ on the cross, I can't cry over it. The tears are just not there.
I would love to read more stories from you ladies. They have really been an encouragement to me.
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Our Testimonies - 3/23/2008 8:59:32 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1336
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
I love to read other people's testimonies. However, when and/if I post mine, it will be long and most will probably find it boring. For me, it deals with a very painful time in my life so I don't like to talk about it too much.
Roberta, I definatley know how you feel about the testimonies and crying. Too bad it isn't you going to Chicago instead of dd. I'll bet we would find alot of similarities.
quote:
Maybe sometime when I have time alone so that if I need to cry I can.
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RE: Our Testimonies - 3/24/2008 1:14:21 AM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2237
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: online
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That was awesome Artemis! I loved it. That really is everyone's story in a nutshell. I love the whole analogy of the sand being unsaved and selfish and the water being saved and the current taking you on your walk with God. That was really cool.
_____________________________
-=|Christina|=-
MySpace
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House (blog)
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RE: Our Testimonies - 4/3/2008 2:10:17 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 1468
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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I wanted to post on this thread when it was started, but wanted to think it through before I posted.
I was blessed to be born into a Godly home(my dad was a conservative, Bible believing military chaplain, who retired in the early 90's and has been pastoring a church ever since), and I honestly don't remember a day when I didn't know the Lord. That's not to say that the transformation didn't take place at some point, I just don't have a specific name, date, age.
My parents were faithful about teaching us about God, attending church, making sure we were in christian school, etc.
My life was very blessed, although I did have many trials in school, even as a kid, both academically and socially, and even with some teachers, which finally led to my parents' home schooling me in grades 11 and 12, I wish it had been even sooner. I also had some difficult times in college, and have had many trials with my health, and have had my ups and downs over being single, and have struggled with my attitude during these times, but I know God is faithful, and does everything for a reason, perhaps sending certain things in my life so I can better help others.
Truly, though, I'm a work in progress, and I honestly don't think our testimonies ever stop unfolding until the day God takes us home.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 4/3/2008 2:23:51 AM >
_____________________________
Please come to this thread:
Tell about YOU in school
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RE: Our Testimonies - 4/29/2008 3:10:34 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 5066
Status: offline
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I'll keep this as short as I can so that no one falls asleep or starts having their eyes glaze-over from reading too long of a post. 
I was 13 when my parents got divorced. I had spent the first eight years of my life being shuffled from different foster homes and orphanages until I was adopted, along with my younger sister. After we were adopted, I thought that I'd finally feel like I belonged to someone. With mom's drinking problem and dad's workaholism, I never did feel that I belonged. In fact, I was often reminded of the favor they did for me in adopting sis and I. They already had two sons, so it's not like they were childless. We were shuffled back and forth according to which parent could fit us into their lives at the time. Sometimes only one of us would live with a parent and sometimes all four of us lived with the same parent. I didn't feel I belonged.
I liked living with Mom. She would share her booze and smokes with me. I liked living with Dad. He would go on "business trips" for weeks at a time. I was so involved in drugs and drinking that I could not get up for school. My mom had been living in IL, but was going through a second divorce so she moved back to CA. A few days earlier my father had returned from yet another business trip. Dad was at work and Mom came by for a visit when the call came from the school stating that I had not been to school for several days. The school set up an appt. with both parents and myself. The school had to squeeze my appt. in because Dad had to catch a flight in a few days. At that appt., they found out that I had not been to school since just before my 17th birthday..... over two months earlier. Dad told me to make sure that all of my belongings were gone from his house because that was no longer my home.
Life with Mom was great. I could get drunk whenever I wanted, as long as I didn't let on to anyone that she and I drank. I wanted to go to church. Something was missing in my life and I thought maybe church was the answer. We started attending Big Valley Grace in Modesto, CA. (I had huge crush on Rick Countryman, who was the youth pastor at the time.) The church taught the Gospel, but I wasn't ready for it. I didn't belong. They were pure and I had been molested which made me feel impure. They didn't drink or do drugs and I did.
I was still empty as I got married, had three children and got divorced. I signed custody of my children over to my mom and my mother-in-law. I went on to have a fourth child out of wedlock. 14 years ago, at the age of 29, I had no where to turn, so I turned to God. I finally belonged to Someone.
Recently I have admitted to a problem with alcohol and prescription meds. There are some who've told me that I am not a Christian, I don't belong to the family of God because of my addictions. There have been many more who have come along beside me and prayed. Some do not understand the struggle, they just pray and accept that He's working on me. Others understand the struggle because they've been there or they are going through it too. What an awesome reminder that I do belong.
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RE: Our Testimonies - 4/29/2008 12:37:32 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2237
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
Truly, though, I'm a work in progress, and I honestly don't think our testimonies ever stop unfolding until the day God takes us home.
That is so true!
((((((((((((((Roberta)))))))))))
Do you go to AA meetings or anything? I can help you find some in your area if you want.
_____________________________
-=|Christina|=-
MySpace
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House (blog)
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RE: Our Testimonies - 4/29/2008 1:14:21 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2237
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: online
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PMed you, Roberta. BTW, Rick Countryman is handsome. I think I might have went to a wedding at that church in Modesto. It looks really familiar.
_____________________________
-=|Christina|=-
MySpace
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House (blog)
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RE: Our Testimonies - 4/29/2008 1:47:13 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 5066
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SteelMagnolia
PMed you, Roberta. BTW, Rick Countryman is handsome. I think I might have went to a wedding at that church in Modesto. It looks really familiar.
It's possible. When I attended in the '80s, it was the second largest church in Modesto. The largest was First Baptist.
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