do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (Full Version)

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trying2havavoice -> do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/6/2008 7:36:55 PM)

Sorry about the typo error. Let me start over again.

Should the marriage bond be honored by ALL, if one spouse choses not to attend church, but the other does?



stellaluna -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/6/2008 8:10:25 PM)

I'm not sure your question is clear. Can you rephrase?

(And I just read your other post and I'm still not clear on what you are asking.)



trying2havavoice -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/6/2008 8:30:17 PM)

If one spouse attends church, while the other does not, should the marriage covenant be honored and respected by all?



sjd2008 -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/6/2008 8:43:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trying2havavoice

If one spouse attends church, while the other does not, should the marriage covenant be honored and respected by all?



Whether both spouses attend church together or not is irrelevant. Marriage is both legally AND spiritually binding having nothing at all to do with church attendance.



Doc65 -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/6/2008 8:50:33 PM)

I think this boils it down pretty well:

1 Cor. 7:12-14 -

"12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband."

The believer should live as an example and show the love of Christ through his or her actions and faith. And, yes, the marraige bond should be respected by all...[sm=thumbsup.gif]

My own 2.5 cents worth...



stellaluna -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/6/2008 9:11:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trying2havavoice

If one spouse attends church, while the other does not, should the marriage covenant be honored and respected by all?

Oh. Of course. Church attendance is irrelevant.



trying2havavoice -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 7:34:31 AM)

Thanks Doc65 for the biblical reference.

I needed that to discuss this amongst church members that seem to modfying the bible, making up their own rules, and justifying their tolerance of sin.

Thanks again.



cow451 -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 11:36:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trying2havavoice

Thanks Doc65 for the biblical reference.

I needed that to discuss this amongst church members that seem to modfying the bible, making up their own rules, and justifying their tolerance of sin.

Thanks again.

Sounds like the basis for starting a Christian cult, IMHO.



Qtman -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 11:59:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trying2havavoice

Thanks Doc65 for the biblical reference.

I needed that to discuss this amongst church members that seem to modfying the bible, making up their own rules, and justifying their tolerance of sin.

Thanks again.


Maybe you should invite them to post on the threads. From what I have been reading in other threads they would fit in rather nicely.

To give my two cents worth on the OP. Church attendance has nothing to do with it. If two people are married they are married. This marriage should be recognized period.



peace77 -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 12:07:54 PM)

quote:

Whether both spouses attend church together or not is irrelevant. Marriage is both legally AND spiritually binding having nothing at all to do with church attendance.


AMEN!!



kernsfamily -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 12:24:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peace77

quote:

Whether both spouses attend church together or not is irrelevant. Marriage is both legally AND spiritually binding having nothing at all to do with church attendance.


AMEN!!


THOUGH, while the marriage is both legally/spiritually binding and has nothing to do with church attendance.....I would think that the marriage would have a greater chance of being strengthened if/when both husband and wife are "on the same page" with regards to this...and, do attend together (participating in married couples sunday school class together, serving within the church together, etc..etc..)....it can take some time and much patience to find the church that both of you can agree on, but, in the long run, your marriage will be better for it....

just my 2¢.



doinkdom -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 12:35:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trying2havavoice
If one spouse attends church, while the other does not, should the marriage covenant be honored and respected by all?


Yes, of course.

Attending church makes no never mind to the spiritual state of the person you're married to.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 12:36:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trying2havavoice

Thanks Doc65 for the biblical reference.

I needed that to discuss this amongst church members that seem to modfying the bible, making up their own rules, [b]and justifying their tolerance of sin.
Thanks again.
Trying2HaveaVoice, I'm a bit confused. Would you elaborate please on what you see as tolerance of sin. The way I am reading it, is that you think marriages should not be honored if both spouses do not go to church, and that the church members are in disagreement with you on this matter? Am I understanding your posts correctly?



Bluethread -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 6:56:22 PM)

We are told not to be unequally yoked. That is when we are seeking a spouse we need to choose one who is like minded. Once one is married, the two are one flesh. Now my mind doesn't like to stop what it's doing when I have to go to the bathroom, but my bladder sure appreciates it when I do. So I force may mind to focus on the task at hand and get back to its preferred task later. So it is with marrage. We sometimes go places and do things that we would rather not because that is what marreid people do. At times we may be doing different things in different places for convenience sake, but it is important that we share as many activities as possible.



trying2havavoice -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 7:11:25 PM)

I believe the marriage covenant should be respected and honored by all, even if one spouse does not attend church. I was looking for feedback and biblical references to back up my point.

The issue of concern is some funny business between a married man and a divorced woman, sitting much too close for comfort during services, and looking much too comfortable with one another, being cozy. The woman has made it clear to friends that she has feelings for the man, and doesn't think flirtation or temptation is wrong because they haven't had sex. The man is married and has a family, though the wife does not attend church. No one is questioning this.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 7:16:22 PM)

Thanks for explaining!

The Scripture that Doc posted above is right-on-target for this situation.



Kerrlaw -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/7/2008 10:43:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bluethread

We are told not to be unequally yoked. That is when we are seeking a spouse we need to choose one who is like minded. Once one is married, the two are one flesh. Now my mind doesn't like to stop what it's doing when I have to go to the bathroom, but my bladder sure appreciates it when I do. So I force may mind to focus on the task at hand and get back to its preferred task later. So it is with marrage. We sometimes go places and do things that we would rather not because that is what marreid people do. At times we may be doing different things in different places for convenience sake, but it is important that we share as many activities as possible.



Thanks for that moving analogy.[sm=cooltilt.gif]


Actually, I do my best thinking in the bathroom.



Doc65 -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/8/2008 10:37:14 AM)

quote:

The woman has made it clear to friends that she has feelings for the man, and doesn't think flirtation or temptation is wrong because they haven't had sex.


She doesn't think temptation is wrong?! [:@]

Nothing like pouring gasoline onto a smouldering fire now, is there? Actually several years ago we ran into almost the same issue with a member who asked our pastor to pray for the marriage between two people to end in divorce so she could "get" the husband - she thought the man's wife wasn't right for him despite the fact they'd been married almost 15 years...needless to say, this resulted in some, ahem, "intense" pastoral counseling. The woman eventually left our church after she realized taht a) the man was not going to leave his wife and b) the pastor was definitely not going to pray for or otherwise condone such a relationship...some people's parents, sheesh!!!



fiat_lux -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/9/2008 12:31:49 AM)

quote:

The issue of concern is some funny business between a married man and a divorced woman, sitting much too close for comfort during services, and looking much too comfortable with one another, being cozy. The woman has made it clear to friends that she has feelings for the man, and doesn't think flirtation or temptation is wrong because they haven't had sex. The man is married and has a family, though the wife does not attend church. No one is questioning this.

Especially without knowing the feelings of the man or of his wife, any attempt by me to judge the situation is going to be speculative.

Having said that, it comes down to what is acceptable behaviour with someone who is married, and that is an ethical line that I don't think changes just because you have feelings for the person, or just beacuse their wife/husband doesn't attend church with them. As someone already backed up with Biblical references, converting to Christianity doesn't give you license to divorce. I would say it doesn't give you license to flirt or cheat either.

Plus, Jesus defined adultery pretty broadly in the sermon on the mount in Matthew 5-7. Well beyond just having sex.



bigboytenor -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/9/2008 3:23:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fiat_lux

quote:

The issue of concern is some funny business between a married man and a divorced woman, sitting much too close for comfort during services, and looking much too comfortable with one another, being cozy. The woman has made it clear to friends that she has feelings for the man, and doesn't think flirtation or temptation is wrong because they haven't had sex. The man is married and has a family, though the wife does not attend church. No one is questioning this.

Especially without knowing the feelings of the man or of his wife, any attempt by me to judge the situation is going to be speculative.

Having said that, it comes down to what is acceptable behaviour with someone who is married, and that is an ethical line that I don't think changes just because you have feelings for the person, or just beacuse their wife/husband doesn't attend church with them. As someone already backed up with Biblical references, converting to Christianity doesn't give you license to divorce. I would say it doesn't give you license to flirt or cheat either.

Plus, Jesus defined adultery pretty broadly in the sermon on the mount in Matthew 5-7. Well beyond just having sex.


Right on! ! ! If they've thought about it then lusted after one another, they have already done it in their hearts.



sjd2008 -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/9/2008 4:15:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: trying2havavoice

I believe the marriage covenant should be respected and honored by all, even if one spouse does not attend church. I was looking for feedback and biblical references to back up my point.

The issue of concern is some funny business between a married man and a divorced woman, sitting much too close for comfort during services, and looking much too comfortable with one another, being cozy. The woman has made it clear to friends that she has feelings for the man, and doesn't think flirtation or temptation is wrong because they haven't had sex. The man is married and has a family, though the wife does not attend church. No one is questioning this.



You seem to be somewhat omniscient about the relationship. Especially the feelings of the woman involved. Do you have first hand knowledge or is this gossip?



sjd2008 -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/9/2008 4:18:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bigboytenor

quote:

ORIGINAL: fiat_lux

quote:

The issue of concern is some funny business between a married man and a divorced woman, sitting much too close for comfort during services, and looking much too comfortable with one another, being cozy. The woman has made it clear to friends that she has feelings for the man, and doesn't think flirtation or temptation is wrong because they haven't had sex. The man is married and has a family, though the wife does not attend church. No one is questioning this.

Especially without knowing the feelings of the man or of his wife, any attempt by me to judge the situation is going to be speculative.

Having said that, it comes down to what is acceptable behaviour with someone who is married, and that is an ethical line that I don't think changes just because you have feelings for the person, or just beacuse their wife/husband doesn't attend church with them. As someone already backed up with Biblical references, converting to Christianity doesn't give you license to divorce. I would say it doesn't give you license to flirt or cheat either.

Plus, Jesus defined adultery pretty broadly in the sermon on the mount in Matthew 5-7. Well beyond just having sex.


Right on! ! ! If they've thought about it then lusted after one another, they have already done it in their hearts.


You really don't have enough information to judge what is going on in their hearts. Nor do you know the source. This could be tainted gossip.



crystalblue -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/12/2008 11:50:21 AM)

quote:

The issue of concern is some funny business between a married man and a divorced woman, sitting much too close for comfort during services, and looking much too comfortable with one another, being cozy. The woman has made it clear to friends that she has feelings for the man, and doesn't think flirtation or temptation is wrong because they haven't had sex. The man is married and has a family, though the wife does not attend church. No one is questioning this.


This sounds like personal observation and knowledge of the situation, not gossip.

We're called to hold each other accountable, and the OP was asking for scriptures to be able to back up the answers to what they have been seeing.



trying2havavoice -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/23/2008 9:42:32 AM)

This is NOT a matter of gossip, and is all proven with written and verbal confirmations by the woman & married man.



crankius -> RE: do over - should the marriage bond be honored by all? (3/23/2008 6:02:51 PM)

Is this, by chance, the same situation that was posted about before on Crosswalk?

Link here...



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