RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (Full Version)

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nicole6598 -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/13/2008 5:56:17 PM)

Thanks Lisa and Jen
Although Jen I think your situation would be just as hard! I do feel like I am bashing him over the head with "well God wants us to do...." " The Bible says we should...." His response is "I know what the bible says more than you do". I am praying for him!



MamaMilty -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/13/2008 6:01:04 PM)

Praying for y'all, too, Nicole. I have wanted to thank you for a while now, Nicole. Thank you for your transparency and honesty. Your posts are always from the heart and honest. So many of us have been blessed by the threads you have started. Thank-you.



nicole6598 -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/13/2008 6:12:51 PM)

Thanks Jen, sometimes I feel like I am the only one going through it or that I am the worst wife in the world and that noone can see things from my view and just sort of "get it" you know? I have learnt a great deal over my time on here and I have been changing and trying very hard.
Thank you for starting this thread!



Mrs.X -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/13/2008 9:00:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaMilty

Of course![:)]

Here is a question for those of your with children. How do you handle the raising up when your spouse doesn't have a biblical perspective?

How about choices you make for yourself, such as what you watch, read, etc. Do you find it hard to explain why you do or don't do things? Does it seem like you are always saying what the bible says not to do? Do you sometimes just gloss over it and not go there? Do you struggle with that?

That's a tough one. My answer is "you better keep that away from the children." LOL, J/K! There are things I don't agree with that my husband does and I have expressed that. I had comprimise on some things though, like playing COD in front of the kids. It's a first person shooter game. But, I think the reason I was able to meet him was because it is historical military warfare, not some guy stealing cars and beating people up for their money. Now, if hubby played something like that, like Grand Theft Auto, I would have a big problem. But, hubby does try. He's pretty good about not cussing now, and he keeps his weed away from the house, out of seeing, smelling, hearing distance now too. We always watch movies when the kids go to bed, so that's a non-issue. He has no problem with me taking the kids to church either. So, we're not too bad in that department.



Mrs.X -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/13/2008 9:01:59 PM)

i think I would have a much harder time if I was in your situation, Nicole. Your hubby knows the Word, and just doesn't do it. My hubby doesn't know the Word and trusts my judgement when it comes to right and wrong.



Mrs.X -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/13/2008 9:07:01 PM)

I actually shared this in Sandy's Yahoo Covered group, but not here. I have been covering my head over a month now, and my hubby hadn't noticed. I think he though I was tired of my dandruff. I wanted to tell but I didn't think he'd ever be able to understand, so I was waiting for the right moment. The other night he was watching George Carlin on the internet, and man, what a vulger guy, anyway, he was making fun of Christians and some cover and some don't and blah blah, he was pretty mean. Anyway, so my hubby asked me why that is that some women cover and what's it for. So, I told him all about it and how it dishonors the "head" (husband), etc. So, in his controlling husband/drill sergeant voice he jokingly said, "Well, woman, you better start covering becauyse I will not be dishonored." So, I told him I have been, and he said, "Oh, cool." LOL! I was so worried for nothing.

It's so hard to bring up anything about God around him, not because of him but because of me. I don't know why. He usually says something like, "Oh, cool" so my mind just starts thinking all these things like he thinks I'm a nutjob or something and he's just being nice about it.



nicole6598 -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/13/2008 9:33:00 PM)

Christina I think he may be more open to hearing things then you think. You shouldn't be afraid to share things, God's word said it never goes out or comes back or something void (LOL my brain is fried today!)



a_sparrow -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/13/2008 11:37:59 PM)

Nicole, I agree that it would be really difficult if dh knew the Bible and just didn't want to practice. Or quoted it at me selectively. The latter would really make me nuts. I am sorry you are dealing with that.

I am hoping dh will go to Church with me this Sunday. He has said in the past that he's willing to go. He used to go to Catholic Mass with an ex-girlfriend, but he obviously never got anything out of the Mass -- he said he found it to a "good show." [8|] (No offense to any Catholics here - that was just dh's perspective on the matter.) I'm afraid that after he's seen how a Protestant service works - not much of what he'd consider showmanship - he won't be interested enough to return.

If we have children, which is something that's under discussion at the moment, there will be a whole lot of issues. I'm not terribly concerned that he'd expose them to inappropriate media and entertainment, but I do worry that I'd encounter resistance in raising my children as Christians. Even if I took them to Sunday school, if he continues to believe as he does, he'll without a doubt contradict the doctrines they are taught there. My unbelieving father did that with me -- and it caused spiritual confusion and doubts that plague me to this day. (I don't want to make my dad out to a monster - he just wanted to teach his child what he believed, as most people do, and unfortunately, what he believed was not Christianity. [:(])



nicole6598 -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/13/2008 11:42:11 PM)

Elizabeth that would be hard to raise children in that envirnonment when they are getting taught one thing from one parent and one thing from another....
Praying he goes with you on Sunday and God speaks to him :)



MamaMilty -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/14/2008 8:27:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: a_sparrow

If we have children, which is something that's under discussion at the moment, there will be a whole lot of issues. I'm not terribly concerned that he'd expose them to inappropriate media and entertainment, but I do worry that I'd encounter resistance in raising my children as Christians. Even if I took them to Sunday school, if he continues to believe as he does, he'll without a doubt contradict the doctrines they are taught there. My unbelieving father did that with me -- and it caused spiritual confusion and doubts that plague me to this day. (I don't want to make my dad out to a monster - he just wanted to teach his child what he believed, as most people do, and unfortunately, what he believed was not Christianity. [:(])


I know what you mean. Dave has as good morals and intentions as he is able to on his own. He simply doesn't see biblically. The concept of a spiritual warfare is craziness to him. He never knowingly contraticts positve things like giving thanks for all good things come from above, talking to the kids about God and reading bible stories, practicing kindness, forgiving each other, praying with the children....it's just, he doesn't see anything wrong with say, magic and sourcery in children's cartoons....it's the little details of the world that tear away at Christian values.

Speaking of our own raising, I remember when we were taught evolution in middle school and the teacher told anyone who believed in Adam & Eve to raise their hand, and they could go to the principal's office [sm=eek.gif] I thought I believed in Adam & Eve, because that is what I had learned in Sunday School, but as the kids all looked around at each other, noone raised their hands...so I didn't either. When I got home, I asked my parents about it. They *explained* to me that Adam & Eve was a story and evolution was the truth [sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif]

That lie stayed with me even after I was saved. I had to give that to God and choose faith in His Word and He helped me with it...but my point is, my parents *thought* they were Christians, they *thought* they were telling me the truth and doing their best. I don't want that for my kids.



Mrs.X -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/14/2008 3:17:31 PM)

That is horrible about your teacher, Jen. My science teacher was a devout Jew, so he stressed a lot the evolution was an un-proved THEORY. When he graded our papers, we had to write "the THEORY of evolution..." instead of writing just "Evolution...". When someone asked him what he believed, he said, "I believe in Creation, not only because of my faith but also because real, true science leans more toward it anyway." My whole class was mostly Catholic by culture, so there wasn't a problem. He was also the teacher chapperone of the Jewish club at my school.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/14/2008 3:32:38 PM)

I am glad I went to a CHRISTIAN school that taught the TRUTH...then when we were old enough to understand they taught us the fallacies of the theories out there...and taught us how to combat those fallacies.



MamaMilty -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/14/2008 3:56:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

I am glad I went to a CHRISTIAN school that taught the TRUTH...then when we were old enough to understand they taught us the fallacies of the theories out there...and taught us how to combat those fallacies.


That is what I want for my children. I know God wants it, too and will work it all out. I shouldn't go looking for trouble tomorrow for today holds enough on it's own, right? But I'm a planner, I can't help it. [;)]

I wish Dave felt more comfortable just discussing things. Even if he doesn't agree, it would be good to talk. Years ago, after he told me I shouldn't be "pushing my beliefs" onto people ([8D]) and I maintained that they weren't simply my beliefs, it was God's Truth and I would love to show him in the bible. He said okay, but then never really wanted to do it. I have given him so many books, none got read.

Finally, I just shut up. Now a days, I am just itching to discuss the message on the way home from each church we visit! He shuts me down every time I attempt to get into a discussion, he reverts to one sylllable answers, lol.

But the good news is, I have had no choice but to just dig into the Word myself. If I want any Godly fellowship these days, I get it directly with the Holy Spirit Himself and what a blessing that has been!



Mrs.X -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/14/2008 4:02:26 PM)

That's really cool, Sarah. I wish we could have learned how to do that in school. My teacher used to say things like, "Well, I'm required by law to teach you this even though I believe it's mumbo jumbo, and I'm not allowed to teach you Creation, but you're more than welcome to attend the Jewish club meeting or Mrs. B's Christian club meeting at lunch to learn more about Creation"



MamaMilty -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 2:11:30 PM)

Just wanted to give a praise report here. Today, we visited a new church and it really seems like a good fit for us. Dave was really relaxed and he actively followed along in the Word during the message. ( I always bring one of my pocket bibles for him with tabs to help him find the right place and I think he really likes it.) I'm thinking I might get a bigger one so its easier to read...



Mrs.X -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 4:28:06 PM)

Great news, Jen!



BrowneyedAL -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 4:51:39 PM)

Good news Jen...I have been praying daily for the couples represented in this thread and I'm happy to hear the praises for the work Christ is doing!



MamaMilty -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 5:09:59 PM)

Thanks for rejoicing with me, girls! Yes, let's keep praying for each other. Do either of you read My Utmost for His Highest? Today's was about intercessory prayer.[:)]



BrowneyedAL -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 5:17:47 PM)

That is one of the devotionals on the Crosswalk site, correct? I read some of them...but I don't believe I've been reading that one...I'll have to go find it and read it.



nicole6598 -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 5:17:58 PM)

That's awesome Jen!
I have a praise too, our Pastor asked hubby to be on the church board a while ago, and I thought "hmm he doesn't exactly read his bible does our pastor know what he is getting into?" But our pastor was just dead set on having him, as hubby is a PK he knows alot about the church and he is very loyal to whatever pastor is in our church. So yesterday the board got up at church and were anointed (the whole church was) and hubby has just been a different guy the last few days. He hasn't picked up his bible (YET [;)]) but I know he will and I am believing it's a start of things to come!



MamaMilty -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 5:44:43 PM)

I'm not sure if it's on Crosswalk or not...it's an old daily devotional by Oswald Chambers...my copy has been edited to "today's language" by James Reimann. I start my day with it.

Nicole, hallelujah and praise the Lord! God is so good!



BrowneyedAL -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 6:00:37 PM)

Nicole ~ Perhaps your pastor knew EXACTLY what he was getting in your husband...perhaps he saw a gem that needed some polishing and thought the opportunity to be more active in your church could be just the thing to bring out his sparkle[;)]



daughter_of_faith -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 7:41:59 PM)

That's a good possibility, ladies....but hard to say!!!

As for us....things have been going. We still have differences of opinions, but lately DH has been seeing some of the "issues" I have with our current church. If things continue in this direction, we'll likely be looking for another church. Just not really sure.

Just keep praying!!



BrowneyedAL -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 7:53:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daughter_of_faith

That's a good possibility, ladies....but hard to say!!!

As for us....things have been going. We still have differences of opinions, but lately DH has been seeing some of the "issues" I have with our current church. If things continue in this direction, we'll likely be looking for another church. Just not really sure.

Just keep praying!!


You got it! I pray for all the couples represented in this thread every day and I plan to continue...I love having praises to pray also (like Jen's today) so keep me updated ladies!



MamaMilty -> RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread (3/30/2008 8:00:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daughter_of_faith

Just keep praying!!


[sm=thumbsup.gif][sm=praying.gif][sm=praying.gif][sm=thumbsup.gif][sm=heart.gif]



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