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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy?

 
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How much do you care about chivalry in a guy?


Chivalry is my number one priority.
  4% (3)
It's very important to me. No chivalry, no date.
  50% (33)
Not too important, but I'd appreciate it if you were a gentleman.
  37% (25)
I guess it's an okay concept, if you're into old-fashioned stuff.
  0% (0)
I don't care about it at all. Either way is fine.
  1% (1)
Frankly, I find it a bit annoying.
  6% (4)
I can open the door by myself, you chauvinist!
  0% (0)


Total Votes : 66


(last vote on : 7/1/2008 3:32:18 PM)
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RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 6/25/2008 10:16:00 PM   
Anamchara

 

Posts: 78
Joined: 9/16/2005
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I do like chivalry..but even more I like it when I see him having chivalry towards other women..not just the one he is trying to impress. For example he holds the door for some granny walking with a walker. I guess I just think it is a reflection of his heart. :)
Post #: 51
RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 6/26/2008 8:51:00 PM   
trinigirl722


Posts: 360
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Dallas, TX
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Amen to that!
Post #: 52
RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 6/26/2008 9:10:35 PM   
LoyalFriend


Posts: 160
Joined: 9/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Anamchara

I do like chivalry..but even more I like it when I see him having chivalry towards other women..not just the one he is trying to impress. For example he holds the door for some granny walking with a walker. I guess I just think it is a reflection of his heart. :)


I'll second that Amen!
Post #: 53
RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 6/26/2008 10:28:56 PM   
Prairiehiker


Posts: 1063
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Anamchara

I do like chivalry..but even more I like it when I see him having chivalry towards other women..not just the one he is trying to impress. For example he holds the door for some granny walking with a walker. I guess I just think it is a reflection of his heart. :)


Would you still like it if he displays chivalry to drop dead gorgeous women? LOL. I know, I know, it shouldn't matter who he does it to.

The other day, my daughter and I took the bus and it was standing room only. One kid, maybe around 16 or 17 offered my daughter his seat. I thought that was really sweet and I thank him so much to let him know that those gestures are not outdated.
Post #: 54
RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 6/29/2008 9:49:46 PM   
free-to-worship


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I love a man to be chivalrous. It shows his respect for the woman and his since of care and concern for her.
Post #: 55
RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 6/30/2008 9:52:34 AM   
rainbowtvp


Posts: 1024
Joined: 4/21/2005
From: The Unted State of Confusion
Status: offline
I said it annoys me... but to clarify... I am thinking of how the term "chivalry" is used today.

Certainly I want a man with manners who recognizes, cares about, and responds to my needs (and the needs of others). And of course I want my health, safety, and comfort to be a priority to my dh.

But I think women should behave the same way!

I think of chivalry as doing certain "mannerly" things and treating women a certain way because they are women, and that does annoy me.

It is rare that I see anyone stand for elderly, disabled, or pregnant people any more on the bus. I always do if I can and it always makes me smile when others do it and I would slap my ds if he *didn't*... But I would be annoyed if a man stood on the bus for me just because I am a woman, since I am perfectly capable of standing for a little while.

Tara P

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Post #: 56
RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 6/30/2008 12:17:43 PM   
Covaan_Meshuga


Posts: 3036
Joined: 6/8/2005
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There is a very chivalrous man who attends my congregation, and I wish he would just stop it. I have begged him not to respond to me as he does, but he won't stop. Some of this stuff thought to be chivalry is just too much.

What happens:
He is a very elderly man, a sweet guy, and I always make a point to have a little conversation with him every Sabbath. But he will not let me approach him unless he stands to shake my hand. Standing is painful and hard on him. I wish he wouldn't do it. But I love him, so I have that inner struggle every time I greet him. At least he is completely genuine and a gentleman in every sense.
_____________________________

When chivalry is just an act, it is stupid, for ulterior motives, and is self-centered. I think that is obvious, but some people eat it up anyway.

Chivalry is often used to cover up a very seriously flawed personality.

Chivalrous acts done toward a woman who despises, or is made uncomfortable by, that particular act becomes selfishness on the part of the one performing it.

_____________________________

Abiyah
Why does He keep quoting Torah? Doesn't He know He's about to abolish it?
A tree's fruit is obvious; you have to look harder for the worm hole.
G-d has only one natural Son; EVERYONE else is adopted.
Post #: 57
RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 7/1/2008 3:36:54 PM   
selahgirl


Posts: 1207
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: God is with you, never forget that <3
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Covaan_Meshuga

When chivalry is just an act, it is stupid, for ulterior motives, and is self-centered. I think that is obvious, but some people eat it up anyway.

Chivalry is often used to cover up a very seriously flawed personality.

Chivalrous acts done toward a woman who despises, or is made uncomfortable by, that particular act becomes selfishness on the part of the one performing it.

I love chilvalry, but wow... I really get what ur saying.
there is alot of Truth in these statements,
thanks for being bold enough to make them.

_____________________________

SELAH -- to pause everything for a moment and take some time to think about what you have just heard or experienced...

BLOG: http://www.myccm.org/selahtime/blog
Post #: 58
RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 7/1/2008 7:27:47 PM   
Covaan_Meshuga


Posts: 3036
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline
Thank you, Selahgirl, but please let me make an addendum. :

There is give and take. My husband is the kind for whom chivalry is important, so I must step back and give in at times. He knows it is irritating to me, so he is gentle about it. Some things I did make very clear to him, however, are that I don't want to be married to a dead hero, and I really bristle at a man who wants to steer me.

_____________________________

Abiyah
Why does He keep quoting Torah? Doesn't He know He's about to abolish it?
A tree's fruit is obvious; you have to look harder for the worm hole.
G-d has only one natural Son; EVERYONE else is adopted.
Post #: 59
RE: How much do you care about chivalry in a guy? - 7/1/2008 7:51:20 PM   
selahgirl


Posts: 1207
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: God is with you, never forget that <3
Status: offline
yeah, I think motive is so key in everything people do. And when the heart is right, it's important to communicate your feeling in a way that is loving and gentle. It's the ppl that are simply inconsiderate and insisting on their own way, that I think it can be necessary to be more stern or direct with. Tho love in all circumstances is important as you pretty much emphasized.

It sure does mean alot to me though when I see my teenage boys and their friends being thoughtful of the young girls and women in their lives. I've also seen teen girls and women snap at guys that are just trying to be thoughtful. It requires consideration all the way around I guess.

Good topic of discussion though
:o)

_____________________________

SELAH -- to pause everything for a moment and take some time to think about what you have just heard or experienced...

BLOG: http://www.myccm.org/selahtime/blog
Post #: 60
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