RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (Full Version)

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DethWolf -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/8/2008 2:27:24 AM)

Y'know, I just started a realtionship last week with a girl who is cute, beautiful, sweet, and we have just about everything in common. One thing, she aint' a Christian. I'm not letting that stop me. I don't see it as a sin, and although only one person so far has confronted me about it, I'm tired of hearing it. She walked into my life just in time, and I don't buy any of this nonsense about it being wrong or unacceptable. I know this is right, and I don't intend to turn back. And it is my hope that we get married.

[Edited by moderator - TOS 5]



Sadey -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/8/2008 8:01:03 AM)

Sure go ahead and date a nonbeliever and then a year from now you'll be back here posting about your broken heart.
Or in a few years complaining that after marriage your loved one won't go to church and isn't saved, and what about your children. You will have a house divided.

Besides just like one of the posters, you'll probably do what you want anyway. But please be prepared to pay the price.

How many times have you heard Christians say "But God wants me to be happy." I knew a woman who had been married mutipile times say that as she was looking for her next husband.



DethWolf -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/8/2008 12:25:09 PM)

Pay the price......? Well hey, thanx for the forecast on my life there, cheif. Why don't you people open your minds and think for yourselves? Life is good when you realize you have a mind and start using it.



HisCovenant -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/8/2008 4:37:04 PM)

DethWolf, We've seen this same story over and over in ourselves and our friends & family... making poor choices and then paying the consequences. It has nothing to do with thinking for ourselves. It's simple cause and effect. It's pretty easily seen when you're not blinded by emotions.



GregandJenny -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/8/2008 5:10:34 PM)

Is it Sinful. YEP



figmentPez -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/8/2008 7:17:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DethWolf

Life is good when you realize you have a mind and start using it.


Two questions:

1. Why is your mind telling you to do something that God has expressly told you not to?
2. Do you think it's a sin to disobey God?



DethWolf -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/8/2008 8:49:09 PM)

Yeah, that's all love is, right? Being blinded by emotion. And did God himself come down to me and tell me to my face who I can and can't date? No I don't think so. It says it in the Bible. Well, WOWEEE!!!! I gotta run my love life according to what that says? So what, I have the ultimatum of breaking it off or going to hell? Yeah, THAT sure is freedom. Sorry, but I've found someone I love, and it's not blind emotion. And in answer to those alst two questions, I trust my mind and my heart now more than I trust what I hear at church and from other Christians. And I am not am not disobeying God by doing this. To me, it's purely a matter of opinion and I'm not going to have my life dictated by it. And let me say this: Go listen to "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica, and you'll pretty much have my view on love.



clownfish -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/14/2008 1:05:18 AM)

Questions to ask yourself...

1. Does your bf/gf attend church just to make you happy or is he really involved? (Or does the person even attend church at all?)

2. When I ever get discouraged spiritually (and you will at times), would your bf/gf/spouse be willing to quote Scripture or pray for you during those times?

3. If you are struggling with an issue, would your bf/gf/spouse be able to hold you accountable to what you know is right in the sight of the Lord?

4. If you were to get married and have kids, and something bad were to happen to you, how confident are you that your spouse would continue to raise your kids attending church and being the right Godly example for them?

5. Does your bf/gf believe in a lifelong, Biblical definition of marriage?


Just some thoughts off the top of my head. I'm sure I could think of more if I had more time. I've seen friends try to "justify" (in their minds) dating a non-Christian, and I wish I could have knocked some sense in their heads.



stampinlady -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/14/2008 9:40:40 AM)

Yes.



Kat_D -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/14/2008 10:23:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DethWolf

Y'know, I just started a realtionship last week with a girl who is cute, beautiful, sweet, and we have just about everything in common. One thing, she aint' a Christian. I'm not letting that stop me. I don't see it as a sin, and although only one person so far has confronted me about it, I'm tired of hearing it. She walked into my life just in time, and I don't buy any of this nonsense about it being wrong or unacceptable. I know this is right, and I don't intend to turn back. And it is my hope that we get married.
[Edited by moderator - TOS 5]

"17 The highway of the upright is to depart from evil; He who keeps his way preserves his soul.

18 Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.

22 Understanding is a wellspring of life to him who has it. But the correction of fools is folly.

23 The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, And adds learning to his lips.

25 There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

27 An ungodly man digs up evil, And it is on his lips like a burning fire.

30 He winks his eye to devise perverse things; He purses his lips and brings about evil." ~Proverbs 16

quote:

Life is good when you realize you have a mind and start using it.

"1 My son, do not forget my law, But let your heart keep my commands; 2 For length of days and long life And peace they will add to you. 3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart, 4 And so find favor and high esteem In the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." ~Proverbs 3

You, my friend, are treading on very dangerous ground. Wake up! Desperate people do desperate things...A Christian dating an unbeliever is an act of desperation.



mochatini -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/14/2008 11:05:39 AM)

I've dated non-Christians before and have regretted (just see my last post!) It does say in the Bible to not be "unequally yoked" so if you are disobedient to that, sure it is sin.

But at the very least, I agree with some of the other posters - it's just foolish. When you begin to raise children you will encounter problems on how to raise them - in church or out.

Plus there's that anguish knowing that the person you are spending your earthly life will not be with you in eternity. Can you really deal with that? I don't think I can.



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/14/2008 11:54:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DethWolf
Yeah, that's all love is, right? Being blinded by emotion.


you are the one who met her last week and are talking marriage lol. seems you are a troll anyways.

i don't know that it'd be a sin to date an unbeliever but people typically marry someone they dated. thus it's just the first step. if you have fun, you want to go on a second. maybe you even fall for the person eventually. and want to get married. there are many threads here on cw in this forum or the marriage one and you can find people posting how miserable they are in their marriage to an unbeliever.



figmentPez -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/14/2008 5:45:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DethWolf

And did God himself come down to me and tell me to my face who I can and can't date?


God came down, Himself, and appointed Apostles to preach the Gospel. He gave them authority in His name, and they told you who you can and can't date in the scripture they wrote, the scripture that is "inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." (2Tim 3:16-17)

quote:

It says it in the Bible. Well, WOWEEE!!!! I gotta run my love life according to what that says?


I'm curious, what "god" do you believe in? If you don't have faith that scripture tells you about Jesus Christ, then what "god" do you believe in, and how do you know who this "god" is, what s/he wants our of his/her followers?

quote:

Sorry, but I've found someone I love, and it's not blind emotion/


Okay, then how do you define love? Scripture tells us that we love because God first loved us. It also tells us what love is, and what love is not. You, however, don't use scripture. When you talk about "love", how do you define what is loving and what is not loving? Disobeying God's commands is not loving Him, and if we are not loving Him, then we certainly cannot love our fellow humans. Consequently, since you are not obeying God's commands, your actions towards your girlfriend, however well intentioned, will not actually be the fullness of real love, because you are not follow God's instructions in how to love her.

quote:

And I am not am not disobeying God by doing this.


How do you know this?



deermousie -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/14/2008 6:27:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DethWolf
And did God himself come down to me and tell me to my face who I can and can't date? No I don't think so. It says it in the Bible. Well, WOWEEE!!!! I gotta run my love life according to what that says?


Wait... you are serious? I thought you were being sarcastic. Sorry; I'm a little slow.

God wrote you a love letter. If God's provision is not good enough for you, then you have an iron-clad excuse to rebel (in your own mind, anyway). And thus God has an iron-clad excuse to reject you. But He's gone to a lot of effort to avoid doing that... like, you're important to Him and He's got a good deal for you: your brokenness traded for His wholeness. For free. Wanna hear more?

P.S. I like the Princess Bride, too, but can't get the lines letter perfect. I try.



DethWolf -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/16/2008 12:44:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil

quote:

ORIGINAL: DethWolf
Yeah, that's all love is, right? Being blinded by emotion.


you are the one who met her last week and are talking marriage lol. seems you are a troll anyways.

i don't know that it'd be a sin to date an unbeliever but people typically marry someone they dated. thus it's just the first step. if you have fun, you want to go on a second. maybe you even fall for the person eventually. and want to get married. there are many threads here on cw in this forum or the marriage one and you can find people posting how miserable they are in their marriage to an unbeliever.


Yeah, so that's a blanket statement right? EVERY SINGLE person who marries a non-christian will just be wretchedly miserable. It's just TOTALY inevitable.Whatever, man. A marriage between two christians stands just as much of a chance of being miserable and falling apart. Don't count out things like good communication and honesty.Being up front and not lying. It takes way more than christianity to make a realationship work, so it ain't some magical golden ticket to lifelong happiness. And yeah, I am talking marriage. It's called having a feeling, my friend, knowing for sure that that's who you wanna be with, and believe me when I tell you that it's not puppy love or a silly crush or a flavor of the month type thing, what have you. It IS possible to know that about someone this early in a relationship, and I don't care who says differently. Her birthday is in Oct. , and on that day is when I'm askin' her. In answer to a few other comments, no, I am not dating out of desperation. Someone walked into my life when I wasn't even searching for anyone. It's called falling in love, and it's not evil or sinful or wrong just 'cos we're not both christians. And like I said before, she came into my life in the nick of time. Desperation is what I was gonna do if we hadn't met, and which I resolved not to do after we met. And don't sit there and tell me that I don't know how to fully love her for real, either. What you're basically trying to tell me in that is that my relationship with her is some kind of abomination unto the God who says He loves me, and who I'm supposedly free in. Where's the freedom in not being able to follow your heart? Oh, my mistake. It's OK to follow your heart if it's a christian girl. See I question things now and I'm alot more open minded and I don't really wanna affiliate myself with some elite Nazi-like regime who thinks they are above everyone who doesn't fully adhere to every single one of their beliefs and prinicipals. Some people believe differently. Scary concept, huh? Anyway, I'm done here. Oh, and I'm not a troll. I've been posting here for awhile, just not usually on this forum. I realize I'm not a big strong senior member, but w/e.



figmentPez -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/16/2008 5:51:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DethWolf

Where's the freedom in not being able to follow your heart?


Jeremiah 17:9
"The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it?"

Mark 7:21-22
"For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, 22deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness.

Isaiah 6:10
"Render the hearts of this people insensitive, Their ears dull, And their eyes dim, Otherwise they might see with their eyes, Hear with their ears, Understand with their hearts, And return and be healed."

Romans 1:21
For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

The human heart isn't a reliable thing. It is only when we set our hearts on God, and honor Him above ourselves, that our sinful hearts can be cured.

You ask what freedom there is not following our own hearts?

John 8:34, 36
34Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin.
...
36"So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed."

If following our hearts leads us to sin, then that is not a path to freedom, but a path to being made a slave. True freedom only comes from following God. True freedom is light and life, but the false "freedom" promised as an enticement to sin only leads to slavery and death.



contend4christ -> RE: is dating a unbeliever sinful? (5/16/2008 6:55:03 PM)

Yeah, I'm not sure on what the exact definition of "sinful" every one is using here, but maybe you should look closely at what your asking. I used to be the type of person who would say if a girl did not have a certain love for music I wouldn't go out with them because music was my life. Music was something we would need in common. Likewise single parents, when they have children their children become their life. If someone wanted to come into a single parents life as a potential spouse they would have to have a certain amount of love for the child or the relationship would be strained at the least. Now if Christ is your life and your a believer imagine the position you are putting your self in. There is a reason the bible warns against it. The more you grow in Christ the less you and this person will have in common.



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