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[Poll]
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To list or not to list.... ?
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| My 'list of qualities' for my future mate IS very important. |
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| My 'list of qualities' for my future mate is important. |
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| My 'list of qualities' for my future mate is NOT important. |
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| I am willing to change my 'list'. |
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| I trust God to provide my mate and don't rely on a 'list'. |
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| I don't have a 'list'. |
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Total Votes : 65
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(last vote on : 10/3/2008 1:16:53 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/25/2008 4:33:06 PM
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hotsaucygma
Posts: 3106
Joined: 4/12/2005
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AND one always needs to remember that all that glitters is not gold- there's still "fools gold" out there, so test the metal's mettle folks!
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Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/25/2008 5:40:55 PM
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tinydancer2
Posts: 1181
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hotsaucygma
AND one always needs to remember that all that glitters is not gold- there's still "fools gold" out there, so test the metal's mettle folks!
Amem! and its by fire test.
People...listen to this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMx10BUgzEM&feature=related
My preference pet are dogs and just dogs - but talking birds are sooo cute! Anyways to me you need a house and trees and etc to have pets.
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RE: To list or not to list.... - Actual list - 3/25/2008 8:18:05 PM
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Dakotasunbeam
Posts: 914
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Midwest USA
Status: offline
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Wish the world/people were as certain as you make them seem.
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam
What if you married your exact list description female and suddenly after about 5 years of marriage she suddenly changed all of those characteristics, what then?
Then she would have to be mentally ill ( due to drugs or trauma) and we'd deal with it. People do not change suddenly outside of external influence.
Most people never change at all.
If she was struggling spiritually that would show up long before those characteristics changed and then the situation could be dealt with.
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RE: To list or not to list.... - Actual list - 3/25/2008 8:25:03 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2478
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
quote:
ORIGINAL: AlwaysR8chel
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........ I think it's interesting to see that the 'stronger' personalities here have more defined 'lists'....
I think a persons list gets shorter as they get older.
Ditto, mine has gotten shorter as time goes by.
_____________________________
Support your local economy, buy locally.
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You can't out-pick God.
Dr. Charles Stanley
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/25/2008 8:34:00 PM
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WalkingwithHim2
Posts: 3066
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline
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I'm not even close to 40 and mine has shortened!
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RE: To list or not to list.... - Actual list - 3/25/2008 9:16:31 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8015
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam
Wish the world/people were as certain as you make them seem.
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam
What if you married your exact list description female and suddenly after about 5 years of marriage she suddenly changed all of those characteristics, what then?
Then she would have to be mentally ill ( due to drugs or trauma) and we'd deal with it. People do not change suddenly outside of external influence.
Most people never change at all.
If she was struggling spiritually that would show up long before those characteristics changed and then the situation could be dealt with.
They're not. But God is. Why would He give me someone who is not fit for me (and who I'm not fit for)?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/25/2008 9:23:45 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6044
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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I think that as I have gotten older, my list has gotten "smarter", not "shorter". 
* I've learned that things like the Red Camero just aren't as important to me, or to them, anymore;
* I've learned that a person's appearance and their character/values don't always coincide, though you don't necessarily have to pick one over the other;
* I've also learned that as you learn more about a person, they become much more attractive (or less, depending upon the person);
*I've learned that the more a person is *like* me, the more annoying that becomes. I prefer someone who is opposite in some compatible way;
* I've learned that God puts people into our lives for a reason, if nothing more than to teach us how to relate to somene who's *different* than what we imagined. The last few guys I've dated have been very different from each other, but I've learned to relate to them in different ways, and learned a lot about myself (my likes/dislikes and reactions to certain behaviors) as a result of these relationships.
My list is a guide for me to show me how far I've come in my growth. It helps me stretch my mind to consider "why don't I like this characteristic?" or "why am I attracted to this kind of person?" It's not necessarily a list to be shared (though I think I have one on here somewhere). My feelings on a list is they're designed to rule people out instead of drawing people in. I much prefer to have a conversation with someone and decide if we are a match rather than have someone avoid me because we're not a match, if that makes any sense. We may each look at a list in a different light (for instance, what is the definition of "slender build"? Men and women have a different picture in mind).
Anyway, those are just my thoughts as I procrastinate from my work.
*List item #1: Must not be a procrastinator* 
_____________________________
<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/25/2008 9:43:30 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3752
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
*List item #1: Must not be a procrastinator*
May I steal that and add it to my list? :)
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"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/25/2008 9:48:53 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 2200
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: U.N.C.L.E.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
*I've learned that the more a person is *like* me, the more annoying that becomes. I prefer someone who is opposite in some compatible way;
Not opposite, complementary, right? 
Sorry. I'm not reallyt taking issue with you, but as I saw in a book once: "Opposites really don't attract. She says, 'We're nothing alike. He likes the mountains, and I like the sea.' They both love the outdoors." or words to that effect.
_____________________________
-- Skreyola
http://skreyola.livejournal.com/
Linux is a multiuser, modular, peer-reviewed, free operating system. Therefore, it tends to be stable, secure, and reliable.
Open Source is good stewardship!
I run Debian Linux (http://www.debian.org/)
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/25/2008 9:54:48 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 2200
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: U.N.C.L.E.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
quote:
*List item #1: Must not be a procrastinator*
May I steal that and add it to my list? :)
Well, that leaves me right out. I tend to wait on things until they're fairly close to their deadlines. Except for bills...
_____________________________
-- Skreyola
http://skreyola.livejournal.com/
Linux is a multiuser, modular, peer-reviewed, free operating system. Therefore, it tends to be stable, secure, and reliable.
Open Source is good stewardship!
I run Debian Linux (http://www.debian.org/)
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/25/2008 9:59:22 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 2200
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: U.N.C.L.E.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
quote:
ORIGINAL: skreyola
quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
*I've learned that the more a person is *like* me, the more annoying that becomes. I prefer someone who is opposite in some compatible way;
Not opposite, complementary, right?
Sorry. I'm not reallyt taking issue with you, but as I saw in a book once: "Opposites really don't attract. She says, 'We're nothing alike. He likes the mountains, and I like the sea.' They both love the outdoors." or words to that effect.
Well, I was thinking in terms of relational styles - I tend to be an introvert, shy, not much of a talker and prefer someone who has no problem leading the conversations (not all the time of course).
Reminds me of a quote: "If we agree on everything, one of us is superfluous." I think it's a Mark Twain quote, but I can't be sure without looking it up.
_____________________________
-- Skreyola
http://skreyola.livejournal.com/
Linux is a multiuser, modular, peer-reviewed, free operating system. Therefore, it tends to be stable, secure, and reliable.
Open Source is good stewardship!
I run Debian Linux (http://www.debian.org/)
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/25/2008 10:24:14 PM
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ebony101
Posts: 1077
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
I think that as I have gotten older, my list has gotten "smarter", not "shorter".
* I've learned that things like the Red Camero just aren't as important to me, or to them, anymore;
* I've learned that a person's appearance and their character/values don't always coincide, though you don't necessarily have to pick one over the other;
* I've also learned that as you learn more about a person, they become much more attractive (or less, depending upon the person);
*I've learned that the more a person is *like* me, the more annoying that becomes. I prefer someone who is opposite in some compatible way;
* I've learned that God puts people into our lives for a reason, if nothing more than to teach us how to relate to somene who's *different* than what we imagined. The last few guys I've dated have been very different from each other, but I've learned to relate to them in different ways, and learned a lot about myself (my likes/dislikes and reactions to certain behaviors) as a result of these relationships.
My list is a guide for me to show me how far I've come in my growth. It helps me stretch my mind to consider "why don't I like this characteristic?" or "why am I attracted to this kind of person?" It's not necessarily a list to be shared (though I think I have one on here somewhere). My feelings on a list is they're designed to rule people out instead of drawing people in. I much prefer to have a conversation with someone and decide if we are a match rather than have someone avoid me because we're not a match, if that makes any sense. We may each look at a list in a different light (for instance, what is the definition of "slender build"? Men and women have a different picture in mind).
Anyway, those are just my thoughts as I procrastinate from my work.
*List item #1: Must not be a procrastinator*
I couldn't have said it better myself. My list of qualities is short (there is nothing about personal possessions on it). It's more about aspects of personality. I believe that God will send someone who meets most if not all the requirements on thal list.
_____________________________
'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/26/2008 5:33:25 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12080
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AdrianaS
In my personal experience, more I live more I know that opposites do not attract, yep.
Is much about similarities and to complement one another and flow good, at least good. To me an introvert male at first can be cute but does not fly at all. The drive, tempo, motor and etc are not compatible. As 2 entrepreneurs with similar personality, expressives, passionate for things may bloom way more beautifuly and melodic.
Thank God He made unique people all over expressing Him inside themselves in non robotic and clones ways.
Awwwww....  Vive la difference!
I have to agree here - at least in my experience, opposites in too many areas is just not good for me. I like to have things to talk about.
Case in point - besides the obvious that our walk is on a similar plane; we both love sports; we both are health conscious; we both love the same Christian music and love attending concerts; we both love doing things for others; we both love ministry and being involved in our respective ones; we both are similar in our political beliefs; we both are highly independent and don't "need" the other person, but enjoy being around one another when we have the opportunity; we both are respected in our fields.
Now, where we differ is that he's highly outgoing, and I need my "me" time to recharge. He likes to run, I like to bike. He likes the more contemporary music and I like the milder music. His ministry is with men and mine is with women and disasters. He loves football and I love futbol. I'm college educated and he's self-educated and extremely knowledgeable about his industry.
We have a ton of similarities, yet within those we have differences.
Now, whether God is going to do something with us and allow us to be together - that's up to God. We just enjoy our time together. But with my "list" - they are more character issues than anything else - and thankfully the most key point on my "list" is something that he has now obtained. This makes me very happy. After knowing of him since 1984 and actually meeting in 1991, it's fun to look back at how God has worked in our lives to bring us to this point where we are finally communicating in a way we should have 17 years ago - but you know what? Back then, we weren't ready. I think we both are now.
God knows my "list" and knows what is best for me. Have I met him? TBD, but it's looking promising.
(and if you want to see who I'm talking about - go to the Location Map and look at my profile.)
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: To list or not to list.... ? - 3/26/2008 9:01:45 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4461
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AlwaysR8chel
Do we all have a 'list'?
How important is that 'list' to us?
i'm listless ... i'm not actively looking right now but previously when i tried to make one in my head i felt it was a rather limiting process and didn't want to put myself in a box or set myself up for disappointment. i guess i have some that are obvious to me so i don't feel the need to list, but other than that i'll just wait and see.
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RE: To list or not to list.... ? - 3/26/2008 9:12:01 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4386
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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....... makes for a wonderful surprise, eh, IWFNE?
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/26/2008 12:01:28 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8015
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
His ministry is with men and mine is with women and disasters.
Somehow women and disasters just seem to fit so well together
quote:
He loves football and I love futbol.
He knows how to spell and you don't?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: To list or not to list....? - 3/26/2008 12:11:00 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4386
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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......... lolol!!!
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