RE: Comming out of homosexuality (Full Version)

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Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (6/6/2008 12:29:21 AM)

quote:

drussell52


Hey guys, back again. I really like the honesty from you guys, it really makes me feel that I too am not along. I really appreciate your understanding and for putting up with my long winded messages. I really believe the Lord put me here to share what He has given me. I really enjoy it.

Earlier I gave a scripture talking about how people who live the lifestyle of a homosexual cannot see the kingdom of God I sure hope it didn't sound like I was judging people. I really believe that if a person is really saved by the grace of God that they will have a desire to change because of the working of the Holy Spirit in their life. When we are saved we receive the Holy Spirit who begins a good work in us to change us to become like Christ. If we don't have a desire to change one of two things if possible. One we are so far in our sin that we can't hear the Lord speaking to us, or two we aren't saved. Here I go again sounding like I am judging. But think about it. For years I lived the life of a homosexual and I know I am saved. I accepted the Lord on July 2, 1973. The problem was that no one disciple me. I joined the military shortly after my experience. If you know anything about the military, you know how difficult it was to life a Christian life. Is if possible for a Christian to be a homosexual? Yes. Is if possible for a homosexual to be a Christian? Well??? Is it? Think before you answer this one.

Here is my scripture for today. Ephesians 2:1-10. Please read and reread this passage in order to get the full meaning. Please think about what you are reading, it can change your life.

"1. As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2. in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved. 6. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7. in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God 9. not by works, so that no one can boast. 10. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Is this a lot to think about or what? I was a homosexual when I lived in my sin. But when I became a child of God that part of me was dead and I am now becoming like Christ. For many years I lived in my sin because I didn't let the Holy Spirit change me the way He wanted to. I rebelled against Him and his power in my life. It may surprise you that in all those years of practicing homosexuality, I got married, taught Sunday School, have been ordained as a deacon in my church and to beat it all I pastored a church for eighteen months. Can a Christian be a homosexual? Yes, but is the power of the Holy Spirit with him while he sins against the Lord? No. I did everything in the flesh.

Well my fingers are tired after all of this. A lot to think about. Please give me your feed back. I want to hear from you. I need your input. Thanks for bearing with me.
Later, Bill



Christian_Pa_Guy -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (6/10/2008 10:32:15 PM)

I am a recovering homosexual pornography and sex addict .
I've been free for four long days now and I am new to the forums .
It seems like everyday is a struggle but each day it seems to get a little easier knowing I am leaving the lifestyle behind .
I would like too chat w/ other guys going through the same struggles .



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (6/10/2008 11:17:47 PM)

Hay Guy,
Welcome to the group. You are right, it is a struggle every day. You are not alone in this. We know how you feel. You must reach out to the Lord every time you get the feeling that you want to go on the hunt for something that used to make you feel good. But remember it only makes you feel good for a while. Then the guilt hits you and the shame that you did what you did then you have to repent and ask the Lord to forgive you. Then Satan starts hitting you with feeling that you are scum and that how can God continue to forgive me over and over again? I know the feelings. Keep in touch and we can help you get through this.
Bill



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (6/19/2008 8:55:38 AM)

Hey guys,
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and believe one of the things that helped me get away from homosexuality was the fact that I was made to worship God in all I do. Here is a scripture that will help you understand what I mean.
1 Corinthians 10:31, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32 Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God-33 even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." You see, it finally occurred to me that all of those men I had been with were souls seeking the same satisfaction as I was. They were looking for purpose in life. I found it but now I wonder how many of these men will be in hell because I didn't help them find what they were looking for. Their blood may be on my hands. It sounds like I am being very hard on myself but I need to be because my mission on this earth is to help people find the Lord. I was leading them astray. In chapter 11 verse 1 he finishes by saying "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." What are we doing in our lives that will be the correct example for men to follow? I hope that I am being the correct example for men to follow now. When the Lord sends men I need to share Christ with them so they can find the peace and acceptance from the Lord and not from other men. Sex doesn't fulfill only the love of God does. I finally discovered this and now the freedom I experience is overwhelming. It should be something to share with everyone. I hope you can find that freedom also.



Darien8869 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (6/20/2008 10:03:43 PM)

Thanks Bill for starting this forum topic.

It is one that is desperately needed. WOW, can I ever relate to this one. I have battled same-sex attraction all my life. I will not say I struggle with homosexual desire as there are a lot of practices among homosexuals today that I find gross and disgusting. To explain the difference for me would probably require details too graphic for a public forum. I am THANKFUL that I do not desire everything that "gay" men do together, but the attraction for men, and those certain other desireable aspects, is overwhelming. There is so much more to this subject than most people today realize. I have lived my adult life celibate with exception of a few weak moments along the way.

I have been blessed though with a raising that taught me this is sin, a strong influence of Southern Gospel Music and so on. I have known so many people who completely sold out to homosexuality because they didn't know where to turn for help. I have a whole lot to say about this issue and I hope many Christians will think about some of what they've never realized this struggle to be about. My heart goes out to others facing this same struggle, especially young men who are being taught in school today that homosexuality is alright. "Don't fight it, just live your life the way you are. God done this to you, the church hates you and you don't need either". That is so very sad. We live in a world that condones everything except Godly beliefs. How many of these young men will ever ask anyone for help? The church has failed by refusing to show the love of Christ to those struggling with these desires. Every drug addict or alcoholic makes themselves known to share their story with others who need help. The church will rally around them as if they're special, and offer any kind of help they need. This is a good thing, but take someone struggling with homosexual desire, or same-sex attraction, and the church turns their back on them (for the most part) not wanting to be associated with them. They're written off as hopeless, too far gone for God to help and shunned, despised and forsaken. Many pastors and religious counselors are preachy and judgemental spouting condemnation and can only offer help like "just walk away from it. turn your back on it and don't do it anymore". What they fail to realize is that if you're fighting a tiger, you can let go of it all you want, but until it lets go of you, you have a serious problem. The solution is not as simple as many think. They simply don't want to get involved.

The lonliness is unbearable. Even among a crowd of people I have felt totally alone most of my life. Constantly hiding in fear of someone finding out or seeing something that might give them a clue. Feelings like "What would people think of me if they knew me as well as they think they do? Who would understand? How could I face my pastor again if I told him about this struggle?" SO MANY FEELINGS, fears and endless hours of feeling like the only one like me in the whole world. Feelings like "How do I find others in our world who understand and relate to this struggle? If I know anyone like me, they've sold out to homosexuality and have told the world. I don't want to be associated with them because I don't want anyone to know this about me. If I'm seen in the company of other men known to be "gay", surely everyone will know." Once you become an adult, you begin knowing few single men. All your friends have married. Married men probably wouldn't relate, and those who do would never admit it, so you're left totally alone feeling there is no one you can confide in and even more so, find someone who understands and relates to the struggle. For a Christian, going to bars to find other "kindred spirits" (for lack of a better term) is not a viable option. It's obviously inevitable where those kinds of aquaintances are going to lead to. Not to mention the environment, music, politics and lifestyle, God bashing and outright defience to biblical teachings. That doesn't help one fight these attractions.

Those who do relate and have been through this same struggle, most often will never make it known to anyone, Thus friendships that are open to confidential conversations are extremely difficult to cultivate. No wonder there are so many who just give up and never even try to conquer these urges. Many convert to cults, become athiests and completely turn away from all moral principles. It is so much easier to sell out to this thing than to fight it. The battle is an extremely lonely one to fight.

If I struggle with this to my dieing day, I intend to die STILL BELIEVING that God is able, and knowing in my heart that He is bigger than same-sex attraction, despite the hardcore attitudes of many Christians. God is only limited by our refusal to believe in Him. I am SO THANKFUL that I know who Jesus is, and that I KNOW HE IS ABLE, and that I don't intend to stop believing, I have no desire to sell out to a homosexual lifestyle. It's the only thing that has sustained me this long from diving head first into a disgusting, immoral lifestyle filled with drugs, hundreds of sexual partners and total abandonment of morals, standards, the hope of eternal life, loss of family and complete loss of touch with mainstream society. The lives of most "gays and lesbians" totally revolve around their sexuality. If becomes who they are, not just a PART of who they are. If I had been raised differently, perhaps in todays young generation, there is no telling where I'd be right now. I am thankful for these things. For the desire to get through this somehow, someday, regardless how many times I might fall along the way. I thank God for keeping that desire in my heart even if I haven't always been strong enough to fight every minute of every day.

I would encourage others not to hate yourself if you fall. Get up and resume the fight! Never quit seeking victory regardless of your weaknesses. It's good to feel guilty. It lets you know you still WANT to win the battle. It's confirmation you've not sold out and you're still fighting even if you feel like a total failure. As long as it bothers you, you're still in the fight. These desires and urges are S T R O N G ! ! ! You won't always be as strong as the desire, and pleasure you crave. Unlike drugs and such, the desire for affection and love are totally natural. It might not be natural to desire things with the same gender, but those desires feed off of very natural desires that every human possesses. This makes the fight that much harder, because in resisting the kind of affection you crave, perhaps the only kind of affection you KNOW, means starving yourself of the basic God-given desire that other people can freely enjoy without it leading to temptation or distortion.

NEVER NEVER GIVE UP, no matter how hopeless things may seem, or how many times you fall flat of your face.



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (6/26/2008 12:56:20 AM)

Darien
I could not have written it better then you just did. You have expressed in words the truth far better than I ever could have. You expressed my feelings in a way that reached into my heart. I have felt the very same way in my life as you described. I want male friends so bad it hurts. But as you said "What if they find out?" As long as I know the Lord loves and cares for me, I can leave it in His hands. I know that there are men in my church that would accept me for who I am but my fear is, finding them. I pray constantly for God to help me. Thank you for your encouraging words and I pray many more men will read them. Thanks



scoop001 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (6/26/2008 8:04:57 PM)

Hey guys, it's been a great help reading all of these posts. I have struggled most of my life with same sex attraction and recently have been trapped in a cycle of watching porn and chatting online. I came very close to actually meeting someone, but thank the Lord, He has kept me from that. I would greatly appreciate your prayers for victory in this area as I rededicate myself to Christ and start reading the Bible and praying every day again.



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (6/27/2008 7:46:02 PM)

Hay Scoop
I will pray for you asking the Lord to help you with your struggle. Just remember that the Lord said in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." I know this to be so true. It does work provided we take the way out and not fall into the temptation. We have to ask the Lord for the strength to run away from the temptation. He also tells us not to put ourselves in a situation where we know we will fold. In other words stay away from the computer when you feel you are being tempted, don't go near it. Don't watch TV shows that you know will be tempting and stir up your sexual feeling. We need to exercise self control and lots of it. Any time you need to talk just e-mail me and we will.
Bill



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/1/2008 10:06:22 PM)

Hay guys
I got an e-mail asking me how I manage to continue to overcome my homosexual desires etc. Here are two scriptures that I keep with me so I can remind myself what I am doing for the Lord. The first may be familiar to you, Job 31:1, " I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl." You can substitute man where it says girl. This is something between myself and the Lord. Also for my wife's sake. She knows when I am looking to long. So I have to watch myself in front of her. The second scripture is this, Philippians 4:6-9, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. 9. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
When I read these two scriptures I am reminded that the Lord is watching me at all times, I am not fooling my self or anyone else. My desires must be for the Lord and my wife. It is treason to look at anyone else for my needs but from those two. They must be my everything. When I am tempted I must think about something else as the scripture says to think on good things, the blessings that the Lord has given me. A wonderful wife that any man would be blessed to have. She understands me and backs me up. We have no secrets from each other. We must have an open relationship with our wives in order to be honest with the Lord and to our selves. I hope again that this has been beneficial to someone. More to come later.
Bill



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/4/2008 10:22:51 PM)

Howdy from Oklahoma
I have been looking over some lessons from "Celebrate Recovery" that is being taught in my church. It is very helpful and I would like to share some of it with you. I will start with the acrostic VICTORY.
V is for Voluntarily submit to every change God wants me to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my shortcomings. The Bible says that we are to make an offering of our very selves to God. Romans 12:1 "Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him...Let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind."
When you accepted the Lord, you made the most important decision of your life and you chose to turn your life over to God's will. That decision got you right with God; you accepted and determined to follow His Son Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.
Then you began to work on you. You made a fearless and moral inventory of yourself. The first step in any victory is to recognize the enemy. My inventory showed me that I am my greatest enemy.
You came clean by admitting and confessing to yourself, to God, and to other people your wrongs and your sins. For probably the first time in your life, you should be able to take off the muddy glasses of denial and look at reality with a clear and clean focus.
When I learned this, I was able to finally realize that my sins were of my own making. God did not make me homosexual. It happened over time and it took time to overcome my sins. I still have those thoughts buy I no longer act on them. I know several people who I have confessed to and because of that I don't feel as if I am in this alone. God will bring someone into your life to help you if you want Him to. We need each other to overcome any sin. Let the Lord lead you and guide you to the rite person.
More to come.
Bill



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/9/2008 8:30:57 AM)

Greetings,
The I stands for Identify which character defects you want to work on first. Go back to the wrongs, shortcomings, and sins you discover. Falling down doesn't make you a failure, staying down does! He wants to give us a future and a hope! God just doesn't want to forgive us, He wants to change us! Ask God to first remove those character defects that are causing you the most pain. Be specific! "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" (Proverbs 16:9).

While living the lifestyle of a homosexual I found myself constantly asking for Gods forgiveness. I knew what I was doing was wrong but it was as if I had no control of myself. I constantly fell into the sin. As it says above, God doesn't just want to forgive us, He wants to change us. We are to become a spitting image of Jesus Christ himself, not just a facsimile but a duplicate. How is that possible? Only through the Holy Spirits help. We must find that we realize we cannot change ourselves, but must be changed by Him. We must trust in Him only.
Bill



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/15/2008 11:22:16 PM)

Gentlemen,
Here is the second installment of VICTORY.
The C stands for CHANGE your mind. Second Corinthians 5:17 tells us that when you become a Christian, you are a new creation, a brand new person inside. The old nature is gone. The changes that are going to take place are the result of a team effort. Your responsibility is to take the action to follow God's direction for change. You have to let God transform you by renewing your mind.
Look at Romans 12:2, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."
When you apply these two scriptures together, you realize that we are not supposed to conform to the ideas of this world and accept them. Society is slowly accepting the ideas that homosexuality is an alternate lifestyle. The Word of God clearly states that it isn't. Just watch TV for awhile and you will See it displayed for all to see. Their are sitcoms that laugh about it and tell the world that it is nothing. Our children are being taught in school that it is OK to be different, that you need to express yourself and experiment. Have you read your children's text book that they have in school? Maybe you should, you might be surprised. We must raise our children to know what the Bible says. We will give account to God everything we teach them and everything we don't teach them. They are our responsibility, not the schools. Listen to some of the music your kids listen to, you may be shocked at what you hear. If you love your children, you will help them to see the truth.
God love you and me enough that He doesn't want us to stay the same as we are, He wants us to change and be just like Jesus Christ. We are to be the spiting image of Him. Love your children that much. Remember if you want to know what kind of person you are, just watch you children, they are the spitting image of you. Truth hurts sometimes, but it need to be seen.
God be with you ,
Bill



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/23/2008 11:20:39 PM)

Howdy,
The T in victory: TURNING your character defects over to Jesus Christ. Relying on your own willpower , your own self-will, has blocked your recovery. Your past efforts to change your hurts, hang-ups, and habits by yourself and were unsuccessful. But if you "humble yourselves before the Lord, ... he will lift you up" James 4:10.
Humility is not a bad word, and being humble doesn't mean you're weak. Humility is like underwear: we should have it, but we shouldn't let it show. Humility is to make the right estimate of one's self or to see ourselves as God sees us.
You can't proceed in your recovery until you turn your defects of character over to Jesus. Let go! Let God!
The next letter is O: ONE day at a time.
Your character defects were not developed overnight, so don't expect them to be instantly removed. Recovery happens one day at a time! Your lifelong hurts, hang-ups, and habits need to be worked on in twenty-four-hour increments. You've heard the old cliche: "Life by the yard is hard; life by the inch is a cinch." Jesus said the same thing: "So don't be anxious about tomorrow, God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time" Matthew 6:34."
When I start to regret the past or fear the future, I look to Exodus 3:14 where God tells us that His name is "I AM."
I'm not sure who gets the credit for the following illustration, but it's right on. God tells me that when I live in the past with its mistakes and regrets, life is hard. I can take God back there to heal me, to forgive me, to forgive my sins. But God does not say, "My name is 'I was," God says, "My name is 'I am.'"
Gentlemen, I don't know about you, but I am secure in knowing that my God is with me all day long. When I mess up and when I do what is rite, He is there. My past is in my past and I must look to the future and see God there. Dwelling in the past only depresses me, and Satan is there trying to make me feel worthless because of what I have done. Let the Lord heal you so you can move into the future and the present. God bless you and I hope these things can be of help to you like they have for me.
Bill



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/26/2008 3:28:26 PM)

The next letter is R: RECOVERY. This is a process, "one day at a time" after "one day at a time."
Once you ask God to remove your character defects, you begin a journey that will lead you to new freedom from your past. Don't look for perfection, instead rejoice in steady progress. What you need to seek is "patient improvement." Hear these words of encouragement from God's Word: "And I am sure that God who began a good work within you he will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns" Philippians 1:6.

The last letter in victory is Y, YOU must choose to change.
As long as you place self-reliance first, a true reliance on Jesus Christ is impossible. You must voluntarily submit to every change God wants you to make in your life and humbly ask Him to remove your shortcomings. God Is waiting to turn your weaknesses into strengths. All you need to do is humbly ask!
"God gives strength to the humble,...so give yourselves humbly to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. And when you draw close to God, God will draw close to you"
James 4:6-8.

The following was taken from a daily devotion from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. I thought it was good enough to put here to possible help you.

How well do you think you know God? Have you settled for knowing less about God than He wants you to know? Do the following words penned by Wilbur Reese describe you?
I would like to buy three dollars worth of God, please. Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough of Him to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine. I don't want enough of Him to make me love a black man or pick beets with a migrant. I want ecstasy, not transformation. I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth. I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack, please. I would like to buy three dollars worth of God, please.

The Church, the body of believers, is only as great as its concept of God. If you sense that your Christian experience is not what it should be, chances are that your problem is that you are not taking time to cultivate your relationship with the God who gave you life.

After Elvis Presley died, newspapers told of people who had almost made him god of their lives. One young man in Florida actually had plastic surgery to alter his face to look like Elvis. "Presley has been my idol since I was five years old," he said. "I have every record he has cut twice over, pictures by the thousands, even two leaves from a tree from the mansion in Memphis...." But the tragic words of his interview fell flat as he confessed at the end, "I never got close to him. I never saw him. I never knew him."

I wonder if you and I will stand before God on the Day of Judgment and confess: "I represented You, but I never got close to You. I never knew You deeply. I was busy about the work of Christianity, without getting to know the Father of it all."

God loves us all and doesn't want us to stay this way. As it says in the above scripture, resist, resist, resist and keep on resisting the Devil and he has to flee from you. Don't let him have any more ground than he already has.
God bless you.
Bill



PureLight -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/29/2008 4:31:55 AM)

Hey, I can't believe it took me this long to see this thread.

I'm a 19 year old who had struggled with homosexuality for most of my....well, pubescent? life I guess. I always felt that I was just condemned in my life and that there must be another way to God if I was made this way.

I accepted Christ and he truly washed me. Through the help of my leaders and brothers in the church and many a prayer, I am truly free of it thanks to God. I have a lot of opinions on the subject but there is a verse I stand on whenever any kind of attack comes.

2 Corinthians 5:17 - "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

I'll see if I can keep up in here. [:D]



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/29/2008 7:46:50 AM)

PureLight,
I agree with you on choosing this scripture to hang on to. It is very true that when we accepted Christ as Lord and Savior, we do become brand new creatures. It is sometimes hard to believe that I was the way I was before my salvation's experience, but now I see how God has changed me and am very happy about it. My life continues to change and it looks better every day. Praise the Lord that your struggles are over, but don't get to comfortable because there is another scripture that says to watch carefully because the devil is watching to see whom he can devour. Be on your toes and watch over your shoulder and don't let your guard down.
Bill



PureLight -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/29/2008 8:27:35 PM)

Oh certainly, anyone who decides he won't get ATTACKED on something is probably going to have major problems with it. But resist the devil and he will flee and it's very nice to know this.



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/29/2008 8:41:10 PM)

I am glad for your sake that it didn't take long for the Lord to help you with your struggle. But with most of us it can take years. I was involved with the homosexual life for so long, the Lord had to brake me in order to get my attention. You see, I got involved when I was very young. I can remember having a desire for boys when I was just getting out of grade school. I had one encounter when I was about 11 years old. If you have read all of the threads in this forum, you can learn a lot about my life and struggle. The next encounter was when I was raped by a man that I knew. So I think you can see how God had to get through to me, because it was so ingrained that I knew I had to be born this way. After many years of struggle and years of abuse and encounters, the Lord had to change my heart before He could change my actions. I am really blessed now, because the Lord has freed me from personal encounters. There are still some fantasies to deal with, but in time I know the Lord will help me with those as well. He will not fail me, that is His promise. Good to hear from you.
Bill



PureLight -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/29/2008 11:38:10 PM)

Yeah, I can definitely understand, I don't expect everyone to be like me because not everyone is me. I had never acted on any of my feelings and for that I feel I'm blessed. I can't say I can bring a LOT to this thread because of that but I'd still like to be here for an encouraging word.



Darien8869 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/30/2008 6:36:46 AM)

For some reason, I woke up this morning with this thought in my mind. I think if people would be more honest about things it could help greatly. This whole thing is so much more common than many are willing to admit. I strongly believe that almost everyone has experienced some kind of homosexuality but are scared to death of anyone else finding out about it. This makes it very hard for someone struggling with these desires to find someone to talk to about it. The very people (most folks) who criticise homosexuality the most, have experienced it themselves to some degree. NOT THE LIFESTYLE of being "gay", but some kind of same-sex experience.

Because of the openness of homosexual lifestyles today, and the big push from the "gay and lesbian association" and others making it such an in-your-face issue in today's world, it has caused most people to be totally appauled by any mention of homosexuality. That is a good thing to some degree, as we should ALL be appauled by these groups and the stereotype of homosexuality we see everywhere we look. But it has also made this such an issue in the church today, that most just want to ignore it and make those of us who struggled with these desires, to be made total outcasts.

We are alone in our struggle and the only people who want to listen are the very ones pushing so hard to make people like us accept ourselves just the way we are. With their teachings that God made us this way, we were born like this and so on, and the church's refusal to get involved, there are not a lot of options. Especially for young people who's religious training in their lifetime is totally negative on the issue. By that I mean, such hatred for homosexuals, that if you have a problem here, we're not going to listen to you or try to help you. So most today, turn from the church, talk to the only ones who will listen, buy into modern social philosophy, and off they go living an open gay lifestyle, lost and away from God, without much of a fight for their soul.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PureLight

Yeah, I can definitely understand, I don't expect everyone to be like me because not everyone is me. I had never acted on any of my feelings and for that I feel I'm blessed. I can't say I can bring a LOT to this thread because of that but I'd still like to be here for an encouraging word.


There are tons of people out there just like you, and they are looking for help. You ARE blessed in that you never acted on your desires. I wish others would get involved in threads such as this one, who either never acted on it, or who did, but made a conscience choice early on, not to do it again. With more encouragement from those who experienced but did not allow addiction to occur, many others like you, might also never become addicted to homosexuality as well. It IS an addiction. Most people have one or a few same-sex experiences at some point. But because of other influences, such as the person that experience was with, who wishes to continue with it, some of us are tempted to continue until it becomes something very big in our life that we can't, or no longer want to say no to.

For others like you, it is a desire that is fought but never acted on with another person. It is still a struggle nonetheless, and you are not the only one who's been there. You can add a lot for those like yourself who are struggling to overcome these desires, and perhaps someone else will overcome without acting on their desires as well.



PureLight -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/30/2008 8:21:46 AM)

I will say I was COMPLETELY and utterly addicted to gay porn. And that would be still considered adultery but still, I certainly haven't touched it for over a year and I'm so happy to be free of that. XXX-Church is such a great application [:D]

With the urges that have come, I just get angry at them. Any attack from the devil, I just get ****ed at. Especially when he uses my friends. It's like, "How the hell do you dare do that?"

That said, I do laugh. Because of a crush I had on the guy who invited me to church, I went with him to Bible Study and hung around him a lot and got plugged in to my church. All things work for the glory of God!



Darien8869 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/30/2008 4:01:18 PM)

That is so cool that it was a guy you were attracted to that got you in church. God works in great ways and He was definitely reaching out to you. In spite of the fact you were addicted to gay porn, you somehow managed to get through those tender years of life without actually experiencing a same-sex relationship. That's remarkable! It's those young years in school when friendships are so easily formed, that will make or break you with homosexual desire. Much of the time even if you fight it, IT will find you somehow through friendships.

It does get easier, or at least it did for me, as I got older. Desires settle down a bit with age, and friendships are not nearly as easily made unless you are out there seeking other like-minded men in places where you know they are at. There have quite honestly been times in my adult life that I would have fallen very easily if there had been someone to fall with. Like you and Bill, there was still a battle with porn, fantasy and so on, but to actually engage with another person has not come so easily. Because I do not and will not go to gay bars and such to meet other men, even in my weakest moments, I've found strength in that I was alone. Lonliness if horrible, but at times it can also be a blessing in disguise.

Are you attending college now? And if so, what kind of college is it? In other words, where are you in life at this point with outside influence? Unlike us older fellows on this thread, you might still be in a place that friendships are readily available. If so, it is likely that another man with the same desires may still come along and your battle might heat up more than you expect. It might help us here to know exactly what your situation is and how to pray for you.

That being said, don't get the wrong idea. You DO need friends. We all do. I want friends so badly, and especially friends who can relate and with whom there is enough openness to talk to about things like this. What I'm referring to at a young age, are friendships with others who are searching to "find themselves" or seeking to experience all their curiosities. Adolescent freindships are much different than adult friendships. While you're through your adolescent years, you are still a young man with raging hormones, and there are still some things you never experienced in younger years. College can be every bit as experimental as High School was. I'm glad in any case, that you are on this thread. The larger network we have here, the better for all of us. I have found that as I pray for others who have same-sex attractions, it takes my mind off my own desires, and also bolsters my desire to keep fighting.



PureLight -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (7/30/2008 6:42:53 PM)

lol, no worries. I have a massive family of church friends. When I said friends, I meant the attacks came in the form of Christian friends and THAT'S why it made me angry. I was like, you're really going to try and use my spiritual FAMILY, Satan? They all know my testimony because they were around for it and I have a dedicated spiritual leader in the church whom I can call WHENEVER I need to to ask for prayer or help.

A lot of the guys that I was attracted to were men that I wanted to be. Men that I thought if I was with, I'd be able to glean some of them in myself. A lot of this came from the lack of my father.

In other words, I had a bunch of psych issues that bothered this as well and those issues have been healed. I feel that this was a symptom of something bigger in myself.

I'm in community college right now going for my A.A. in general studies and then going to UCF (Florida, whoo.) after that.

I feel like I sound pretty cocky but at the same time, I'm just that confident that God's healed me at the actual wounds that brought the desires and with that knowledge, any desire is no match for a mind that wants to make it obedient to Christ.



Bill521 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (8/2/2008 12:06:07 AM)

Hey,
I would like to add a little to your conversation. The following scripture has helped me in the past and is still one to help in a time of need. 1 John 2:15-17, "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world the cravings of sinful man, the lusts of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.
What does this have to do with homosexuality? Well, my eyes and my seeking for lust of this old man has a tendency to get in my way some times. My eyes get me in trouble when I look upon a man to long. The desires starts coming out and that leads to fantasy. It all falls in place. If I could only walk around with blinders I would be fine. Unfortunately that isn't the case. I have to exercise self control. Gad, what a thought. This means I have to take the first step to get myself out of bondage. God helps when we want him to. Remember the scripture that says the Lord will give us a way of escape when we are tempted to do wrong? Well it's true, he does give us a way out. All we must do is take it. Like is hard gentlemen but God is always there to help us. Soon and very soon the Lord will be coming to take us home. I always tell my wife that the older we get the closer we are to going home. Amen.
Bill



prophet15 -> RE: Comming out of homosexuality (8/3/2008 7:49:22 AM)

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hello men.i am new at this sort of thing so please bear with me!
i just want purelight to know how very blessed he is to have help with this struggle
as i,like so many had to fight this thing alone and now i am 56 years old.i can't express how very,very happy i am for him.kept on fighting the good fight and god will continue to bless you as he has me praise the lord.



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