Cremation and scattering of ashes (Full Version)

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Learning2Walk -> Cremation and scattering of ashes (4/10/2008 12:32:31 PM)

My dear dad passed away a week ago from injuries he suffered in a terrible fall down the stairs of their home. He was a strong, healthy 88 years old.

He was alert enough the week after his fall for my brother and I to share Jesus. He blinked his eyes and gently nodded his head to tell us he understood. My brother and I believe that God gave him that much ability and time with us for God to open his heart and give him the gift of faith.

My parents joined the Neptune Society several years ago. The N.S. does cremation and disposition of the ashes at the family's request. My mom has decided to have his ashes scattered rather than bury them at the cemetery, since that is what she and my dad had originally discussed. My brother and I shared our wishes for a burial spot for the ashes, but during the night she awoke and changed her mind.

My mom is not a believer (she believes in God, but does not hold the true Christian faith in her heart). I have to respect her wishes and I don't think this is a time to argue with her as she is grieving my dad's loss (she found him on the stairs) and trying to get things in order.

I wish cremation was not their wish, but it is. I wish she would go ahead with their burial at the cemetery, but she won't. For me, this decision adds more pain to the grief I already feel from the sudden and tragic loss of my dad. She said she wants us to respect her wishes, so I need to do that.

I know God can create anything from anything, and nothing can snatch His will out of His hands. If my dad went to be with the Lord, I want to believe that the way in which his remains are handled and distributed (especially based on a decision made prior to his accident) will not affect his eternal outcome. I know that cremation is not a Scriptural choice, but would that determine his eternal salvation?

Please help me sort this out.

L2W



LCannon -> RE: Cremation and scattering of ashes (4/10/2008 12:53:36 PM)

So sorry for your family's loss. The disposition of one's remains won't effect their eternal condition. Hebrews 9:27-"And just as it is appointed for men to die once and after that comes judgment, 28 so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him." We decide our eternal fate by our life experience of obedience to sacrifice to Jesus or remain in one's unbelief and arrogance to the same blood.



GroupW -> RE: Cremation and scattering of ashes (4/10/2008 1:11:55 PM)

As LCannon says, we are so sorry for your loss. The fact that we all go through this at some point offers no comfort.

Cremation isn't really the whole story. People throughout history have lost their lives in horrific ways that leave little behind for those who mourn. 9/11 victims and the people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki come to mind along with many millions in various wars, both recent and ancient. We believe in a God who is not only just, but is also good. I think a God who is both good and knowing has already considered this and made allowances. He not only can do all things but loves us deeply.

While we may not have the answers, I don't think this is something that we have to be worried about. I think we can rest easy in God's goodness.



SweetPea213 -> RE: Cremation and scattering of ashes (4/10/2008 9:06:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Learning2Walk


I wish cremation was not their wish, but it is. I wish she would go ahead with their burial at the cemetery, but she won't. For me, this decision adds more pain to the grief I already feel from the sudden and tragic loss of my dad. She said she wants us to respect her wishes, so I need to do that.

I know God can create anything from anything, and nothing can snatch His will out of His hands. If my dad went to be with the Lord, I want to believe that the way in which his remains are handled and distributed (especially based on a decision made prior to his accident) will not affect his eternal outcome. I know that cremation is not a Scriptural choice, but would that determine his eternal salvation
Please help me sort this out.

L2W


I'm sorry for your loss. The part I put in bold really jumped out to me. Forgive me if I interpretted this wrong--but it seems to me that you are concerned about your fathers eternal destiny will be determined by burial or cremation. One's eternal destiny is not determined by what is done with the remains of the physical body but rather we obtained salvation through Jesus Christ while on earth.



Learning2Walk -> RE: Cremation and scattering of ashes (4/11/2008 12:20:06 PM)

Thank you very much for your words of encouragement. I am more at peace about this now.

I knew that losing a parent would be very difficult, but I did not imagine the deep pain and longing I feel. His terrible fall and suddenness of his passing have left us all in a state of shock; this week following his passing has felt surreal as we go about the business of planning his service. Many times, I've wanted to curl up, go to sleep, and wake up to find the nightmare is over. Only God can heal this pain and clinging to Him is helping me through. My dad would want me to move on quickly and get back out there and live life as fully as he did.

After almost a week, I am just beginning to want to do other things again -- gardening, exercise, just getting outside in the sun feels good. My dad was a cheerful, outgoing man who enjoyed life, people, and every activity. He encouraged others with words and little inspirational messages he typed on his computer, printed, and gave to them. Everyone at the bank, workers at the post office, and even people at Office Depot where he often shopped have expressed to us their shock, sadness, and what a special man he was.

Our family has been blessed by the kind words and actions from many, and God has covered us with His love and mercy through these very painful weeks. We are experiencing the promise that even in the darkest valley, God is there.



moon_mouse -> RE: Cremation and scattering of ashes (4/11/2008 12:48:37 PM)

My deepest sympathies on your loss. My dad died in 2000 from a sudden heart attack. He was a strong Christian, and his wish was to be cremated and his ashes scattered on the mountainside where he grew up.

Although burial was the primary disposition of Israel and in the early church, many Christians believe there is no Biblical prohibition against cremation. The commands against burning a human or that refer to burning being disgraceful are in the context of human sacrifice to idols. As outlined above, God is perfectly able to reconstruct resurrection bodies no matter what earthly remains are left. And, some believe cremation "disrespects" the body, but anyone who is familiar with the practices of reputable funeral service providers knows that just isn't the case.

Is part of your discomfort related to not having a physical place to go to grieve? I seem to get a hint of that from your original post, but I could be wrong. I remember when we scattered dad's ashes. We went to a little general store after to pick up some drinks. When the clerk found out why we were in the area, she gave me a lovely postcard of the area to remember by. I have it here on my bulletin board at work, and every time I see it, it makes me happy to think dad will always be an integral part of the land he loved. I'm a big fan of travel, and I've told my relatives that I want to be cremated and scattered some place I've never been, so I can be a tourist one last time! Maybe that will give my loved ones something to smile about some day!



1love1God1way -> RE: Cremation and scattering of ashes (4/11/2008 7:10:38 PM)

Without trying to sound vulgar. . .

If someone is buried as normal, the body still decomposes, and within a few years, there is nothing left of them anyway.

One way or other, we all end the same.



happyhippie -> RE: Cremation and scattering of ashes (4/12/2008 7:20:57 AM)

I will parrot what every one has said and send my condolences. I really think cremation is the most loving memory a person can leave as a final memory. The family is not saddled with an overpriced funeral ceremony as a last memory. the chance to scatter a loved one's ashes over a cherished spot and have that as a lasting memory is wonderful. every time you go there you can relive your life memories. To me cemeteries are depressing but visiting a loved one "alone" and in a peaceful setting cannot be compared. I am going to be as fertilizer for a flowering tree so every time my wife tends to it or looks at it she will remember me.



drcain -> RE: Cremation and scattering of ashes (4/16/2008 10:43:17 AM)

I offer my sympathy to you as well.

My wife died last August after a lengthy illness, and her remains were cremated. I did this solely for economical reasons.

I offer this as support.

The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption. It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. ~ 1 Corinthians 15:42b-44a

This is the middle segment of a great discourse on death and resurrection. What we plant (or scatter in this case) is not like what God will raise up on that last day.

Know that God will give your Dad a new, unbreakable and incorruptable body on that day, and don't you know he will be dancing before the throne in worship and praise!



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