RE: False Sense of Intimacy (Full Version)

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bootsNspurs_mod -> RE: False Sense of Intimacy (4/18/2008 12:21:09 PM)

quote:

Some people are difficult to read IRL and I consider myself pretty decerning. I can see how being online would make that even more difficult. Some people are an open book IRL. so online it would probably be pretty easy to get to know them. It really depends on the person I think.


I'll agree with that.



Mrs.Above_All -> RE: False Sense of Intimacy (4/18/2008 9:10:31 PM)

It can create a false sense of intimacy. However, if you are destined to be together (whether or not you know it right away), any feelings of intimacy can actually be real. Real or not you still have to discern wisely and you still have to guard your heart in the same way. For my John and I, we did feel a sense of intimacy very early on; but instead of ignoring it or putting it off, we simply just put it in our little pockets. When it was very clear to the both of us that we loved each other we were able to confirm those feelings of intimacy. It came fast, yet by the time we are getting married it will be 2 1/2 years. Our choices and our circumstances made it that way too.



kj88il -> RE: False Sense of Intimacy (4/19/2008 9:43:21 PM)

i agree that it can, indeed, create a false sense of intamacy...but there are some advantages, too.

when i was young, i was an avid letter-write/card sender. had dozens of different stationery, did the wax seal thing...the whole shebang. i would buy cards just because i liked them...just to have them on hand. so when email became the norm, i was all over it! and IM....oh...i love it!

and as it applies to dating, i love being able to "screen." years ago, i did a lot of online dating. i worked with a charter airline at the time...on call 24/7...often starting my days at the airport at 0230...done by 0900. so i loved being able to exchange emails or IM before setting a lunch date...which was about all i could squeeze into my schedule. only once was i really turned-off when we met in person. he was doing fine until he started lecturing me on how i should make my daughter participate in sports. i'm sorry...but he crossed the "mama" line. i actually got up and left the restaurant after setting him straight. (and telling him he should update his photo...cuz the one he had posted was obviously a few years old. giggle)

but, like everything else, you have to be discerning. it's very easy to get caught-up...but there's no comparison for one-on-one interaction. body language, facial expressions, tone of voice...there are so many things you can't convey via the written word.



humbleinspirit -> RE: False Sense of Intimacy (4/20/2008 8:19:46 PM)

Kimberly, you were a letter when you were young too?

In answering Michelle's question, yes the internet can certainly cause false intimacy, however Bible study cell groups can cause the same thing as well.

It has happened to me a couple of times [a false sense of intimacy] where I thought that I was closer to a person than I really was. However, there have been other times where genuine friendships both online and off have occurred as well. So it swings both ways.



kj88il -> RE: False Sense of Intimacy (4/20/2008 11:35:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit

Kimberly, you were a letter when you were young too?

In answering Michelle's question, yes the internet can certainly cause false intimacy, however Bible study cell groups can cause the same thing as well.

It has happened to me a couple of times [a false sense of intimacy] where I thought that I was closer to a person than I really was. However, there have been other times where genuine friendships both online and off have occurred as well. So it swings both ways.


-er...letter-writeR (oops!)



humbleinspirit -> RE: False Sense of Intimacy (4/20/2008 11:39:19 PM)

No, that be my typo/omission instead!



vikingfan -> RE: False Sense of Intimacy (4/20/2008 11:56:12 PM)

how about the people you already know IRL but talk to online, whether through email or IM? is false intimacy fostered there?



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: False Sense of Intimacy (4/22/2008 12:46:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: vikingfan
how about the people you already know IRL but talk to online, whether through email or IM? is false intimacy fostered there?


if we're talking about a dating relationship with someone locally, i think email/IM can increase true intimacy.



BugLady -> RE: False Sense of Intimacy (4/22/2008 11:17:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: vikingfan

how about the people you already know IRL but talk to online, whether through email or IM? is false intimacy fostered there?


...only if those involved are being insincere.



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